Chapter 34 #2
I glanced back at Jay, finding myself relaxing even more into his comforting warmth. Soon, I was leaning back into the couch too, and the sides of our bodies were completely flush with one another.
Jay stayed very still, and if I didn’t know any better, I would say he was holding his breath as I cautiously allowed myself to relax.
“I hear a ‘but’ coming on,” I commented as my character harvested some hot peppers in the game to give to that Shane character Jay kept going on about.
Jay let out a frustrated huff. “But Seb’s dad has never been as encouraging.
He kind of… pits him against me. He always makes it seem like because Seb isn’t involved in the development of the technology, he’s not as valuable as I am or something.
It puts a serious strain on our relationship.
I think it makes Sebastian resent me a little, which is fair.
I wouldn’t like it if my father had acted like he thought Sebastian was better than me, either. It’s not cool.”
“But you obviously don’t feel that way; you defended him today,” I pointed out, frowning.
“Yeah, I always try to stand up for him when Luke says some out-of-pocket shit, which I think Seb’s grateful for.
He knows it’s not my fault his dad is the way he is…
but, still. It makes him more competitive with me than he should be.
Neurovance wouldn’t be where it is today without the work that he does.
The technology wouldn’t be used by anyone if no one knew about it to begin with.
The marketing is just as important as the research.
This weird competition that Luke is trying to instigate between our departments hurts us more than helps us. ”
“Yeah, that feels counterproductive,” I agreed.
We fell silent for a minute, and Jay’s hands dropped from his head to his knees. The knuckle of his pinky brushed against mine as I held the controller. My breath caught at the spark of warmth that zipped up my arm from his touch.
“I think he likes you,” Jay said softly. I almost didn’t hear him because of how loudly my heart was pounding in my ears.
“What? Who?” I squeaked, turning away from the game to look at him.
He was so close.
This was bad. So, so bad. What the heck was I doing? I was going to get freaking fired for sure…
“Seb. I think he likes you,” Jay said. His minty breath brushed against my cheek, and his pinky twitched, rubbing lightly against mine.
I knew I should move away. I needed to put some distance between us, but I couldn’t. It was like my body wouldn’t listen to my brain.
“That’s crazy. He doesn’t even know me. We talked for like two seconds,” I protested, and I hated how red my face was.
“Two seconds is all it takes to make an impression, Milo.” His voice was soft and quiet. “And you make quite the impression.”
Despite the fact that he was smiling, he still managed to look somewhat sad, and I found myself wanting to brush his hair back from his face.
No, Milo!
Inappropriate!
Stay professional!
He’s your BOSS!
“Well, you don’t have to worry about him poaching me, if that’s what you’re concerned about. I’m not interested in marketing, though I do understand its importance,” I tried to reassure him.
He was clearly worried I might be swayed to transfer to NeuroComms to work with Seb instead of him.
“Melanie, on the other hand… She’s definitely not here for the ‘right reasons,’” I continued thoughtfully. “She’s just trying to claw her way to the top. If Seb offers her a higher position in comms, she’ll definitely take it.”
“I don’t think either of us is interested in Melanie, Milo,” Jay scoffed. I frowned. He seemed frustrated with me, like I wasn’t fully understanding what he was trying to say.
My mouth parted. I was trying to think of how to respond when Jay glanced down at my lips. The look was so fleeting, I was sure I imagined it.
Definitely wishful thinking.
He was staring directly in my eyes again, and I was nearly quivering with adrenaline.
“Do you like him?”
“Who?”
“Sebastian. Do you like him?”
“I-I mean, he seems like a smart guy. Well dressed, professional, charming…”
“You think he’s charming?”
Gah!
I was clearly saying all the wrong things. I stammered in my panic to tell him whatever it was he clearly wanted to hear.
“I, uhm, I-I don’t know, I just meant he’s charismatic! Which, he has to be, right? He’s the CMO. It’s his job to be charming.”
“So you think he’s charming in a professional way?”
“What other way did you think I meant?”
Jay no longer looked frustrated. He was smirking now, and he reached over to gently brush his thumb between my eyebrows. I sat, frozen as he smoothed out the crease that had formed on my brow.
“You’re really cute when you’re nervous.”
“I - uhm…”
I blinked to find he was now cupping the side of my face gently. Light as a feather, his thumb swept over my cheek.
“Your cheeks are all red.” He chuckled.
“Jay—”
He was leaning closer to me, and I was frozen, sitting there like a deer in headlights. My normally busy brain went completely blank. It was like I couldn’t compute what was happening.
I could feel his hot breath on my lips, and my eyes fluttered closed as he gently tilted my head to the side.
“THIS IS YOUR FRIENDLY EVENING WARNING THAT CURFEW GOES INTO EFFECT IN TEN MINUTES.”
NOVA’s voice blared through the room, and I nearly leapt out of my skin.
“ALL NEUROVANCE EMPLOYEES ARE EXPECTED TO PROMPTLY RETURN TO THEIR CUBES.”
“Fuck,” Jay cursed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Shit—” I gasped, leaping to my feet. “I should go.”
“Milo—”
“I’ll see you tomorrow! Bright and early. Those transmitters aren’t going to optimize themselves!” I blurted, rushing for the door and sliding into my Vans.
Jay followed me to the front door at a much slower pace. His hands were crammed in his pockets, and he looked upset, which was making my heart hurt.
“Do you mind if I bring breakfast over again in the morning?” he asked me quietly as I fumbled with the door.
“I don’t know if—”
“Milo…” he whispered, and I paused my frantic scurrying to look at him.
He looked so sad and… Lonely.
“Please?” His voice was so small… I felt like my heart was breaking.
I realized for the first time that, as cool and successful as Jay was, he probably didn’t have a lot of friends here, either. Not real friends, at least.
He genuinely seemed devastated that I had been about to say no, and that more than anything caused me to push past my own anxiety over whatever had just been happening on the couch.
“Yeah. Okay. Sure. Breakfast sounds nice.” I sighed, and the relieved smile that spread across his face made all my reservations fall away.
“Yeah? Okay, great. I’ll come by before eight.”
He looked so happy.
I wanted him to always look that happy.
I knew I was playing with fire here, and this job was really important to me, but I’d read the employee manual back to front.
Friendships between employees were not only allowed, but they were encouraged. Romantic relationships were forbidden, especially between superiors and their subordinates, but that was fine.
If Jay was desperate enough for connection that he was trying to get to know me, he was clearly in need of a friend.
I wanted to be that for him.
I just needed to do a better job at keeping things professional.
Whatever had just happened on the couch was probably a fluke. I still didn’t find it believable that someone as hot as Jay could actually be attracted to me. He was just looking for human connection, and some wires got crossed.
I blamed Stardew and the little romantic relationship arc I’d been working on with Shane before things turned south.
Yeah. It was because of Stardew.
Those damn little pixels were just too damn cute.
The decision solidified in my mind, and I felt my heart skip a beat as I made up my mind.
It was final.
Friends were allowed.
We could be friends. I just had to make sure I didn’t let my personal feelings for him get in the way.
I could do that.
Right?