Chapter 60
Strapping Milo down, knowing that I was about to hurt him, was killing me. I’d tied him down during sex before, but this was not the same. Even though I knew he was consenting to this, my stomach was a mess of nausea, and my chest was a burning, fiery pit of rage.
I was so fucking angry at Luke for doing this to him.
For doing this to me.
The thought of hurting Milo like this was sending me into something close to a panic attack, and it was taking everything in me to hide how fucked up I was over what I was about to do.
I needed to stay calm for him.
If he was brave enough to ask me to do this, then I needed to be strong too.
He’d taken the Neuroprofin, and we waited a few minutes until I was sure it was kicking in.
I hoped like hell it would take some of the edge off, but I wasn’t confident it would do much.
I’d asked him if he wanted something stronger, but he’d declined, saying he couldn’t risk being under the influence of anything for the demonstration later.
So, all my perfect baby had to help him manage the pain were over-the-counter painkillers and my belt between his teeth.
“Open up,” I murmured, folding my belt in half and gently placing it between his lips. He bit down on the soft leather, and I tried not to cringe at the fact that I was about to basically torture the man I was pretty sure I was falling in love with.
Strapping his arms into the retractable stirrups that normally sat unused beneath the chair, I resisted the urge to place a small kiss on the inside of his wrist, not wanting to touch him until it was absolutely necessary.
I’d retrieved the first-aid kit that was standard issue for all Neurovance labs and used some antiseptic and a cotton swab to disinfect Milo’s arm. Even with the cotton between us, he winced. My stomach bottomed out at the look of pain on his face as I gently cleansed his soft skin.
We had surgical kits as well, as earlier versions of the extractor had needed small implants to operate properly.
When I’d first started working on the extractor with my father, the process had been much more invasive, so this wouldn’t be my first time performing minor surgery to extract tech from a person.
It would be my first time hurting someone like this, though.
Snapping on a pair of latex gloves, I pulled out a scalpel and slipped it out of its disposable wrapper.
Milo looked up at me with those big, trusting eyes that always seemed almost cartoonishly large behind his glasses.
He couldn’t speak with my belt clenched between his teeth, but he didn’t need to.
I could see everything he wanted to say to me on his face.
You can do this.
I trust you.
It’s going to be okay.
Biting the inside of my cheek so hard I tasted blood, I nodded.
“Alright. I’m just… going to do it.”
He nodded, and I took a deep breath, turning my attention to the small, offensive bump in his arm.
Only allowing myself a few extra moments to hype myself up, I reached out and wrapped my gloved left hand around the inside of his elbow to hold him steady, and he immediately stiffened beneath my touch.
He let out a horrible, keening whine as the chip fired off, lighting his body up with pain, and his head slammed back into the chair as he seized.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Instinct had me wanting to rip my hand away, but I knew if I did, I would just need to touch him again and hurt him more anyway.
I had to push through this. I just needed to do this as quickly as fucking possible and get it over with.
“I know, baby, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” I rasped, gripping him tighter as I tried to hold his arm as still as possible while his body seized and shook uncontrollably in the chair.
Quickly, I pressed the tip of the scalpel against the tiny lump in his arm, and he shrieked into the belt.
I was sweating, and bile rose up my throat as his flesh split beneath my blade, spilling bright red blood in vicious streams down his pale skin.
“You’re doing so well, baby. Almost done. Almost done…” I choked as he continued to scream into the belt.
I glanced up briefly, only to quickly look away again at the sight of all the veins straining in his normally smooth, delicate throat.
Tears welled behind my eyes, and I forced myself to focus on what I was doing.
Once I’d split his skin enough to see the device, I pressed down on either side of the incision to expose it further.
It was a tiny, metal rectangle with four prongs on each side that curled into the raw muscle of his arm.
These were definitely tiny neurotransmitters, sending signals through his nervous system to hurt him.
“Fuck,” I hissed. “Baby, I need to pull this out. Just breathe for me. Almost done.”
Releasing him, I dropped the now bloody scalpel on the small surgical table next to the chair and unwrapped a pair of tweezers next.
Milo was moaning and whimpering in the chair, and his perfect, cherubic face was soaked with tears.
My heart was literally breaking in my chest at the way his body was twitching uncontrollably with the aftershocks of pain. His arm was covered in bright red blood, and I forced back a sob of my own at the sight of it.
The thought of touching him again while he was basically curling into himself in agony was killing me.
But we were so close.
“I’m going to touch you again. Bite down on the belt, baby. It’ll be over soon,” I croaked. My perfect boy nodded, his damp eyelashes brushing his pale, wet cheeks as he steeled himself for another wave of pain.
Forcing myself to push through my apprehension, I wrapped my hand back around his arm, ignoring the way he stiffened and the heart-wrenching whimpers of anguish that stuttered from his lips.
I carefully grasped the chip tightly between the tips of the tweezers, making sure I had a firm grip before letting out a long, slow exhale.
“Three… two…” I didn’t wait for one and ripped the thing out of his arm as quickly as I could.
More blood welled as the device came free, and I whipped it across the room, feeling light-headed as I heard the tiny clink of metal hitting the concrete floor.
Milo gasped and shuddered, his entire body relaxing almost immediately.
He collapsed back against the chair, his chest heaving and his limbs quivering.
“Baby? You okay?” I whispered.
The air in the room felt thick and hot, but I was shivering. My whole body was coated with a film of sweat, and Milo swallowed several times as his entire form tried to recover from what I was sure was excruciating levels of pain.
Dropping the tweezers, I gently eased my belt out of his mouth before reaching up to cup his face. I knew, logically, that the device was gone and couldn’t hurt him anymore, but I still tensed, worried my touch would still somehow hurt him.
“Milo… please. Say something,” I croaked, and his eyelids fluttered open. He was still panting, but he didn’t seem to be experiencing any new pain from my hands on his face.
“It… It’s gone?” he asked, his tiny voice hopeful.
I nodded, feeling a tear of my own finally spilling down my cheek.
“Yeah, sweet boy. It’s gone.”
Then, my brave little brainiac smiled, and it felt like the sun had somehow found its way into this dark, sterile lab.
“Kiss me,” he breathed, and I didn’t waste another second. I slammed my lips into his, and the world fell away.