Chapter 74
Jay’s eyes went blank. He wasn’t in this room with me anymore. He’d disappeared into his own mind, and I watched in agony as he jerked and flinched and begged some unseen force to stop hurting him.
‘You can call me The Forgotten.’
‘I can’t trust you, not after you forgot me.’
‘He’s not even a fucking memory anymore.’
‘I don’t want to be someone you didn’t want to remember.’
I’d already known we needed to have a conversation about why I’d done what I did, but it was so clear to me that it couldn’t wait.
“Jay…”
‘Stop calling me that!’
Shit… what was I supposed to call him?
I wasn’t about to freaking call him Patient 001, and I absolutely would not be calling him the freaking forgotten.
Baby.
I’d stick with baby; it was the safest option.
Getting to my knees on the edge of the bed so I could cup Jay’s face, I rubbed my thumb tenderly over the scar on his cheek as he shook and quivered. He was completely lost to the onslaught of horrors I was sure were playing out in his mind.
“Baby, baby, I’m right here, come back to me,” I hummed, kissing him softly between each desperate plea.
“Follow my voice, baby… Can you hear me?”
Slowly, that horrifying blank look seemed to fade, and his pupils dilated as he was able to focus on my face again.
“There you are. Hey.” I smiled at him, brushing my thumbs over his cheeks again. “You’re back. You’re here with me now. You’re safe, okay?”
He frowned, his gaze darting around the room in confusion before landing back on me again.
“Milo?” he rasped, and I nodded.
“Yeah, baby, it’s me.”
“How… how are you—I thought you were gone,” he choked, and I shook my head, kissing him softly.
“You brought me back, remember?”
His eyes flashed, and I saw it the moment his memories realigned.
With trembling fingers, he touched my face. “Real?”
I nodded. “Yeah, baby, real. Come here, come lie in bed with me.”
Wordlessly, he obeyed, following me as I lay back on the sheets. I turned on my side to face him, tracing my fingers through his thick, chestnut hair and marveling at how he trembled and shivered beneath my touch.
“We need to talk about what happened that day,” I murmured, sliding up closer to him so our naked bodies were flush against one another.
He sighed and seemed to relax at the contact, encouraging me to continue to card my fingers through his hair as I spoke.
“Why do you think I used the NeuroExtractor on myself that day, baby?”
He didn’t hesitate.
“Because Jay was the reason you were trapped there. He lured you into your own fucking prison and…. I know I should have let you leave. It’s my fault you got dragged into all my baggage…
but I thought… I thought you wanted to stay.
I thought you wanted me…” He choked, and tears were streaming freely down his face into the sheets.
“But… I get why you did it. If you forgot about Jay and everything he was to you, they would have no reason to keep you there. It was your ticket out.”
My heart broke as I realized he really believed that.
“Baby, no. That’s not why I did it. I tried to tell you when it was happening, but I don’t think you heard me. You were pretty upset.”
He just stared at me, looking broken and devoid of any hope.
I sighed, stroking the side of his face tenderly.
“They were using my love for you as a bargaining chip, baby. They knew that as long as they had you, they could get me to do anything they wanted. I couldn’t let them hurt you to manipulate me.
I thought if I forgot you, it would save you.
All… all I ever cared about was saving you, baby. It never had anything to do with me.”
His lip trembled, and he frowned as he processed what I’d said.
“I couldn’t let them hurt you. It kills me that they did it anyway, and I forgot you for no reason. I’m so fucking sorry, Jay. I really thought I was doing the right thing at the time. Please forgive me for forgetting you. I never wanted to do it.”
His cheeks flooded with another wave of silent tears, and he reached out to stroke my face, mirroring the way I was tracing my fingers over his.
“You cursed again.”
I chuckled softly. “Yeah, I guess I did.”
He smirked for a moment, and my heart soared at that tiny victory.
He slid his hand down my side and hooked his fingers around the back of my knee, pulling my leg up and over his hip until his cock was sliding against my slick crease.
“You really didn’t want to forget Jay? Even though he’s the reason… The reason they wanted to hurt you?” he asked, sounding small and young.
My heart cracked in my chest at how vulnerable he looked.
“No, baby, of course I didn’t want to forget Jay. I didn’t want to forget you.”
He wrapped his arms around me and tugged me even closer, rocking his hips back and forth, causing his cock to slide in and out from between my legs.
“I haven’t wanted to be Jay for a long time,” he rasped, and I kissed him, swallowing back another wave of tears.
“I want you to be Jay. I want you to be Jay, and I want to be Milo, because Milo and Jay belong together, and they never should have had to be apart in the first place.”
He stared at me from inches away, the steady rocking increasing slightly in pace. He wrapped his hand tenderly around my cock and gave me a long, lazy stroke, causing me to catch my breath.
“You said you loved Jay before you forgot him…” he murmured, looking at me like I had the power to destroy him with nothing but a single word. “Was that real?”
I tilted my hips on his next thrust, notching the tip of his cock against my hole, and his fingers dug into my hips as I curled my leg around him, urging him forward.
“I said I loved you, baby.” I gasped as I wiggled slightly until the tip of his cock breached me. Tugging him with me, I rolled onto my back, and he groaned softly in response to the sudden shift of positions.
“I said I loved you, and yes, that was real. It’s still real.” I kissed him as I wrapped my legs around him and squeezed until he sank all the way inside me.
“Fuck…” he cursed, and I rolled my hips up as he ground himself deeper, shivering as his hard cock bumped my prostate.
“I love you, Jay Reynolds.”
He looked deep into my eyes as he held himself over me, his expression as serious as I’d ever seen it.
“If you love Jay Reynolds, then maybe he’s someone I do want to be,” he whispered, and I choked back another sob, sinking my hands into his hair and pressing his forehead into mine.
“I love you so much, baby. I promise I’ll never forget you again. I’m not going anywhere.”
And then, finally, he smiled.