Chapter 92
`NOVA play: Rusted From The Rain by Billy Talent
Sebastian was leaning back against my father’s old desk, watching me silently with his one good eye as I knelt on the floor before him.
Neither of us spoke.
We stared at each other, our long, complicated past humming like a live wire between us.
As I took in Seb’s gaunt, scarred features, I found myself choking on painful memories of all the time we’d spent together as kids.
If there was one thing I’d learned while strapped in Luke’s surgical chair, it was that memories could be dangerous.
As much as painful memories could keep us trapped in the dark, happy memories could be just as dangerous in their own way
Happy memories had the power to infect the present with nostalgic promises that a younger version of yourself might have fallen prey to.
The little version of Sebastian I recalled from childhood had always been smiling. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen this adult version of Sebastian really smile.
Sure, he’d smiled at Neurovance, but they were all fake.
Synthetic.
Just as fabricated as the violent memories Luke had sown into my head.
But… the smiles he’d given me as a boy had been real.
I knew they were.
He’d been such a happy kid, with pretty golden curls and bright, sparkling blue eyes that had always been so full of excitement.
He’d seen the beauty in everything, and I’d always admired how creative he was.
He was the type of kid who saw a puddle as an opportunity instead of an obstacle, and I spent many of my early years going along with his harebrained schemes, just to see where his imagination would take us.
Seb had trusted a world that would eventually turn him into… this. This monster that loomed before me.
My chest pinched as I looked up at who he was now, the ghost of that trusting child flashing across my mind’s eye.
“Wanna go play at the pond, Jay? I caught a frog there yesterday.”
“No way!”
“Yes, way! Come see! I bet you can catch an even bigger one if you bring the net your dad got you!”
He’d only been a year older than me, but when he looked at me like that, I felt like I could follow him anywhere, and it would all be okay because he was the one leading the way.
But, as we’d grown older and he’d been permitted to spend less and less time at our house, those smiles had slowly disappeared.
I grew out of childish things like playing in ponds and catching frogs… and Seb… Seb seemed to grow out of those smiles.
I knew now that Luke had been grooming him to see me as competition instead of a brother. After years of my father cultivating a strong, healthy bond between us as boys, Luke had torn it all down with what appeared to be very little effort.
He’d poisoned Seb against me, and I’d been an idiot not to see it sooner.
If I had, maybe Milo would have never erased me in the first place.
I should have known.
Like father, like son.
But how was I supposed to ever see? How could I have ever believed he hated me, when all I ever saw when I looked at him were those bright smiles and big, innocent blue eyes?
Like I said.
Memories were dangerous things, and I’d let the memory of mine and Seb’s childish love for one another cloud my judgment.
“If you hurt Milo, I will kill you,” I growled, spitting a mouthful of blood on the ground.
Sebastian didn’t respond. He just continued to stare at me with that unhinged smirk on his face as he gently stroked his gun.
“Did you hear me? I will fucking kill you, Sebastian. I should have done it when I had the chance.”
Sebastian just cocked his mangled head to the side, watching me with that one, ice blue eye.
“Jay, Jay, Jay. So smart but somehow still always so behind,” he crooned. “You won’t be the one to kill me. Nope.” He laughed, and the sound was so unnerving that I found myself recoiling. “I’m the only one doing the killing today.”
“What did they do to you?” I hissed, and Seb shrugged, putting his AK down on my dad’s desk, only to pick up one of the handguns the other man had taken off of me.
“This one will work better, I think,” Sebastian said out loud to himself. “Quicker draw.” He spun the gun in his hand and pointed it at me with a jerk. When I flinched away, he burst out laughing so hard he nearly doubled over.
“So jumpy, Jay! Like one of those frogs we used to catch, do you remember? How they used to hop, hop, hop?” He literally hopped on the spot to punctuate his sentence.
“Jesus Christ, Sebastian…” I rasped, unsure if I was afraid of him or just felt like I’d fucking failed him worse than I’d even failed Milo.
Abruptly, the humor seemed to drain out of his face, and he sombered.
“Sometimes I miss that pond,” Sebastian said quietly, looking down at my handgun with a frown. “Will you meet me there, after you die?” he asked, looking up at me like I had an answer to that fucked up question.
“You going to kill me, Seb?” I croaked. “You couldn’t do it last time,” I reminded him. He crossed the room slowly, his one good eye never leaving my face as he pressed the gun to my forehead. I held my breath as the cool metal bit into my flesh, and Sebastian let out another unhinged chuckle.
“You’re not much for second chances, are you, little brother?
” He laughed, and I frowned as he cocked the gun and adjusted his grip as if getting ready to unload the clip directly into my skull.
“Bit hypocritical of you if you ask me… What was it you used to always say?” he whispered, and all the hair stood up on my neck as the door to the den opened.
A bound and gagged Milo was thrust into the room, followed by the first man who had disarmed me, then finally the devil himself.
Luke. Fucking. Stevens.
Seb’s manic smile grew impossibly wide, and he leaned in to whisper in my ear without moving the gun an inch.
“Ah yes… I remember now…best friends always watch each other’s backs… Have you been watching my back, Jay?” he asked, that unhinged grin so wide it looked like the corners of his mouth stretched to his temples.
I just stared at him, refusing to allow him to intimidate me.
He made a soft clicking sound with his tongue, feigning disappointment.
“Mmm. That’s what I thought. Well, I guess you won’t have to worry about watching my back for much longer.” He cackled. “Not after tonight.”