Never After Us (Heartbreak Mixtapes #4)

Chapter 45

Chapter Forty-Five

Mama has started watching me too closely. She always knows before anyone else. I’ve been avoiding mirrors because I’m afraid I’ll see something that confirms what I’m trying not to think about.

The sickness is back, and the mornings are the worst.

I keep telling myself it’s nerves. Stress. Worry. But the sickness doesn’t care what I tell myself. Every night I lie awake wondering what I’m supposed to do. I don’t have an answer. I don’t think I will for a long time.

But there’s probably a heartbeat growing somewhere inside me, and I’m not sure if the fear I feel is for myself or for this tiny life that didn’t ask to be here.

I don’t know how to carry this alone.