Never After Us (Heartbreak Mixtapes #4)

Chapter 47

Chapter Forty-Seven

Mama asked today if I’ve been eating enough. Daddy asked why I’m always tired. Lana and Lisa whispered upstairs when they thought I couldn’t hear.

It’s only a matter of time before they know.

I tried to picture telling them, but the moment collapses before it even forms. Daddy’s anger. Mama’s disappointment. The arguments. The shame. The pressure. The . . . what am I supposed to do?

I am not ready for any of it.

Sometimes I press my hand to my stomach when no one is watching. I imagine a small life growing, unaware of all the fear surrounding it.

It shouldn’t feel beautiful, but sometimes it does.

And then the guilt follows.

And then the fear returns.