Chapter Fifteen #2
I’d known I was quickly developing feelings for Kayden, something that had never happened with a fling before, but I hadn’t realized how intense those feelings were until I imagined how hurt he was going to feel when he found out the truth and my heart ached on his behalf already.
He’d been hurt by the people who were supposed to love him enough.
I didn’t want to be remotely responsible for hurting him.
I wanted to be the one to hold him and tell him it would be okay, just like I’d done with Liv.
Mom sat down next to me with a hard seltzer and pulled Ima down onto her lap. “Talk to us, kid.”
“I’m going to tell you what’s going on because I desperately need to talk about this.
But I’ll be telling you the secrets of two people who I really care about.
You can’t repeat anything I say. Ever. Especially not to Adrian and Sutton,” I said, thinking of Kayden and his involvement with Acker Real Estate.
“Of course, we won’t say anything, honey,” Ima said, gently taking my hand.
“Even I can keep a secret when it’s important, Jace,” Mom said. “Just tell us.”
I pulled my hand back and dropped my head in both hands as I groaned.
“I hate this so much.” I rubbed my face with both hands and looked up at them.
“I started something casual with a guy I met in a bar a few weeks ago. He turned out to be the architect who I’d hired for the rehab facility at work, but neither of us knew that at the time. ”
“Okay,” Ima said, gently encouraging me to continue.
“I like him—a lot.” I laughed and shook my head, still surprised at the truth of it.
I thought Liv was the only person I’d ever want, and now I wanted them both and what the hell was I supposed to do with that?
“His name is Kayden, and we’ve hooked up a few times.
I want to keep seeing him and I’m pretty sure he wants that too.
He’s guarded as hell, but I can tell he feels something for me. ”
“I’m missing the problem,” Mom said. “Unless you’re afraid of love like she was”—she pointed to Ima—“because that I can actually help with.”
Ima shot her a look. “I’m guessing this has to do with Liv.”
I pursed my lips and nodded. They’d long since figured out how I felt about Liv. “In addition to my confusion about having feelings for two people at the same time, Kayden is Kaylee’s biological father.”
Mom stared at me in shock.
“How do you know that?” Ima asked, looking stunned.
I ran both hands through my hair and tipped my head back on the couch.
“Because he came by the office yesterday on Liv’s first day.
She freaked in a very un-Liv like way when she saw him.
I asked him about her, and he admitted that they hooked up once but never saw each other again afterward.
Then he smiled and I looked at him. I mean really looked at him and I just knew.
Kaylee has so many of his features, it’s amazing I didn’t see the resemblance sooner. Liv confirmed it after he left.”
Ima sighed and put a hand on my shoulder. “Is she planning to tell him?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I asked her to but she’s afraid. Which I get, and I want to support her, but I can’t keep something like this from Kayden. This isn’t the kind of secret you can have from someone who you’re maybe starting a relationship with.”
“Did you tell her why you care about Kayden’s feelings?” Mom asked.
“I can’t. She thinks he’s just someone working for me because he’s not open about his sexuality. He’s not ready to come out and I won’t push him to.”
“Fuck,” Mom said.
“Yeah.” I chuckled sadly. “Fuck is right.”
Ima leaned forward to hug me. “I’m so sorry. You’re in a terrible position.”
I held on to her as I tried to keep it together. “She has to tell him eventually, right? She has to give him a chance to know his daughter.”
Mom took a deep breath. “Honey, I think she should. But you have to recognize that she may not want to do that.”
A wave of certainty washed over me as I felt my chest crack. “I can’t live with that being her decision. I know it’s her decision to make, but if that’s the choice she makes it will change everything between us, Mom.”
No matter how much I cared about her, keeping a secret like that when Kayden was right in front of her and she had no evidence that he wouldn’t be a good influence on Kaylee’s life was something I couldn’t be okay with.
It would be enough to make me rethink everything I thought I knew about her.
Which is also why I was certain she’d regret the decision to keep Kaylee a secret.
“That’s not her. I know she’s scared, but keeping this from him is not who she is,” I said confidently. I knew Olivia. I knew her better than I knew myself most of the time.
Ima let go of me. “Then you’ll need to talk to her again. Try to find a way to help her through the fear, Jace.”
“What do I do about Kayden in the meantime? I can’t keep screwing him and developing feelings for him while I’m keeping a monumental secret,” I said, pulling at my hair.
“It’s not your secret to share and you know that,” Mom said, tugging my arms down. “It’s why you’re pulling your hair out, honey.”
I dropped my hands in my lap.
“Unless you can convince him to let you tell Liv about your relationship, you’re going to have to get her to tell him the truth without telling her who he is to you,” Ima said. “You’re probably going to need to do both anyway if you really want to be honest with both of them.”
“Fuck!” I yelled, trying to fight back the tears as the real fear I’d been plagued with for twenty-four hours threatened to burst out of me. I swallowed my pride. “What if this information makes them want to be together and I’m left alone? I don’t think I can handle losing them both.”
“Would you rather Kayden stay in the dark about the situation?” Ima asked.
I sighed as I wiped the moisture from my eyes. “Not at all.”
I’d rather the three of them be happy and together as a family than have Kaylee and Kayden never know each other. Which meant I was going to have to help Olivia come to terms with telling him and I was going to have to risk my heart in the process.