Chapter Twenty-Eight
Olivia
“Do you have an appointment?” the receptionist at the doctor’s office asked.
“Yes. Olivia Riley,” I said. I looked up at Kayden who stood next to me, looking far more tense now than he had on the walk here.
The receptionist asked a few questions to confirm my identity and then handed me a form.
“Fill this out and then get in line over there.” She pointed to the left side of the waiting room where a small line of people waited to see one of the four nurses sitting in makeshift, partitioned cubicles in the part of the room that had been converted into a flu clinic.
I’d specifically signed up to come during a flu clinic rather than scheduling an appointment with my primary care doctor because I’d hoped I’d be in and out without a whole lot of fanfare.
“Do you have an appointment as well?” the receptionist asked Kayden.
“Oh God, no.” He shook his head rapidly and I suppressed a smirk at the obvious panic on his face. “I’ve already gotten mine and once a year is more than enough. Thank you.”
He put a hand on the small of my back and we stepped to the side of the reception desk where a table was set up for form completion.
I looked up at him as he dropped his hand.
“Are you doing okay?” he asked.
I nodded. “I might be doing better than you. You look terrified.”
He chuckled and adjusted his glasses. “Terrified is a strong word. Let’s go with radically uncomfortable.”
“About what?”
“I hate doctors’ offices. Too many sick people and germs. People coughing everywhere.” He shuddered and looked around. There was a regular waiting room on the other side of the desk where people seemed to be waiting for their provider and Kayden eyed them skeptically.
“Would you consider yourself a germaphobe?” I asked, trying to understand if this was a doctor’s office thing or a germ thing.
He shook his head. “That’s not what it’s called. Mysophobia; that’s the fear of germs and bacteria. And yes.”
I grabbed a pen and started quickly answering the questions on the form as I responded, “Then why did you come with me if you knew this was going to be a trigger for you?”
“Because I didn’t want you to do something that made you so anxious alone. There’s nothing worse than having to do something you’re terrified of alone after you thought you’d have company.”
“But you’re radically uncomfortable,” I said, setting the pen down and smiling at him. “I would have been okay. You didn’t have to suffer for me.”
“I’m fine, Olivia. I’m here for you and I can manage my own discomfort,” he said with a smile.
I took his hand, my skin tingling and my pulse increasing as I threaded my fingers through his. “Okay, well, I can’t. So how about you hold my hand to calm me down and if it just so happens to calm you down too, then so be it.”
His smile grew. “I can do that.”
We got in the now significantly shorter line and I tapped my foot rapidly, waiting for the person in front of me to be called in so I could have my turn. Kayden squeezed my hand. “Do you know the official name for a fear of needles?”
I chuckled, caught off guard. “Can’t say that I do.”
“Trypanophobia,” he said as we moved up in line. “Phobia comes from the Greek word meaning fear or panic. Trypano comes from a Greek word that means boring, puncturing, or piercing. So, I guess, a more accurate translation would be a fear of puncturing or piercing.”
“If Kaylee ends up as smart as you, I am so screwed,” I said.
He laughed. “I’m sure you can keep up with her.”
One of the nursing stations opened up and the nurse waved me over to his station. “Which arm?” he asked.
“This one,” I pointed to my left arm.
“Have a seat,” the nurse said before looking at Kayden.
“He’s here for moral support,” I said quickly as I sat down.
The nurse raised an eyebrow. “Afraid of needles?”
“Yes, I have trypanophobia,” I said, snickering.
“Okay,” he said. I pulled up the sleeve of my shirt and the nurse rubbed my shoulder with an alcohol pad. “This will be pretty quick.”
Kayden squatted down in front of me. “You can bury your face in my chest if you want.”
My heart rate escalated as I watched the nurse taking the plastic safety locks off the shot.
I nodded. “Yep, let’s do that.”
He scooted closer and wrapped both arms around me as I leaned into him.
I squeezed my eyes shut and inhaled deeply, trying to get air into my lungs past the panic in my chest. Wow, Jace was right about his cologne.
I took another deep breath, letting Kayden’s woodsy scent wash over me.
Memories of dancing with him at the wedding flooded me as I breathed him in.
“Ma’am, you’re very tense,” the nurse said. “If you can try to relax your arm it will hurt less later.”
“Am I not relaxed?” I asked, eyes already stinging with anticipatory tears. I felt way more relaxed in Kayden’s arms than I had the last time I’d updated my Tdap shot.
I felt Kayden’s head turn toward the nurse for a moment before putting his mouth close to my ear.
“Did you know the fear of being stupid is called stultophobia? If you’re really worried about Kaylee being smarter than you, you might also have stultophobia.
Pretty much anything that people are afraid of, to the level that constitutes a phobia, has a name. ”
The nurse held my arm, and tears fell from my eyes as I gripped Kayden’s shirt in both fists. “And what level constitutes a phobia?” I asked, happy to play his game of distraction.
“I’m glad you asked,” Kayden said, sounding pleased as the sting of the needle pressed into my arm.
“The most common way to classify a fear as a phobia is to determine whether it is intense, persistent, and unrealistic. Which makes for some interesting debate if you really think about it. Take arachnophobia. What is an unrealistic fear of spiders? It’s true that some spiders can kill you or paralyze you with venom, so that seems like an entirely realistic fear from my perspective. ”
“You’re all done, ma’am,” the nurse said.
I lifted my head and glanced down at the small, round Band Aid a few inches below my shoulder.
“Thank you,” I said, rolling my sleeve back down.
Kayden released me and I stood up, wiping my eyes and cheeks with the cuff of my shirt. “Do you have thoughts? On the spider thing?” he asked.
I laughed. “Definitely a realistic fear. Therefore, arachnophobia can’t exist because, by its definition, the fear is never unrealistic.”
“Precisely,” Kayden said with a proud smile. “Though I think the unrealistic part would be more about the anticipatory fear of spiders and not living your life fully because you try to avoid them, that sort of thing.”
“Did you just change your stance on the whole thing?” I laughed.
“No.” He nudged my right shoulder with a playful smirk as we walked back to the entrance. “I think all phobias are legitimate, but debate is always a good distraction technique. Worked for both of us.”
I pressed my lips together suppressing a smile. “I’m glad you came, Kayden.”
“Me too. Can I buy you a cup of coffee on our walk back?”
“What? Is this a reward for being good at the doctor’s office?”
“Do you do that with Kaylee?” he asked, looking both interested and apprehensive. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
I looped my arm through his again. Why does touching him feel so natural when it’s been four years since we saw each other? Why is being with him as easy as being with Jace when we’re still strangers? In fact, why don’t we feel like strangers at all?
“I’m happy to tell you about her,” I said. “You can ask anything you want. We don’t usually stop for treats because they give kids stickers at the doctor’s office and Jace spoils her with ice cream enough as it is.”
Kayden smiled affectionally. “He really loves her, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah,” I said, my heart warming at the thought of them together.
“For the record, I feel like ice cream would trump stickers and a visit to the doctor is an experience worthy of ice cream.”
“I think if that’s your philosophy she is really going to like having you around.” I laughed and rested my head against his arm. “I would like a coffee. We can get Jace one too since apparently he hates my coffee.”
“I don’t think Jace hates anything about you at all,” Kayden said confidently.
“I mean, he said it’s terrible, but he has been drinking it.”
Kayden burst out laughing. “Yep, that sounds about right.”
We walked out onto the street and decided to stop at the Starbucks around the corner from Acker Real Estate. “Thanks for coming with me, Kayden. And for distracting me. I really appreciate it.”
“Glad I could help,” he said. “I enjoy your company, Olivia. I’d like to get to know you better.”
“I’d like that too,” I said.
We stopped walking as Kayden pulled open the door to Starbucks. “I assume you know what Jace likes?” he asked.
“Sugar in a cup with a splash of coffee,” I said.
Kayden grinned. “I suspect he and I might have very similar coffee orders then.”
“Gross, not you too,” I groaned. Kayden put his hand on the small of my back again as he guided me to the register, and my skin prickled with the gesture. I gasped slightly. There’s still a spark with him. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?
As we stopped in front of the barista, I glanced up at him and saw him looking at me with curiosity as if perhaps he felt it too and was also wondering what the hell we were supposed to do about it.
By the time Kayden and I got back to the office, Jace was off the phone with Martin and still hadn’t touched his lunch.
“You need to eat or you’re going to get mean,” I said, leaning against the doorway as I sipped my coffee. Kayden slid by me to sit in the chair opposite Jace. He set down a coffee in front of Jace.
“Thanks, baby,” Jace smiled at Kayden.
“You’re welcome, but Olivia was the one who taught me what you like,” he said.