Chapter Nineteen
Surely on a list of sexiest sports, shuffleboard would be somewhere near the bottom. And yet John was still so turned on, he could barely follow a single word of the instructions the cruise director was giving them about how to play the game.
At the last minute, they’d told Ryder and John they would be the two representatives from ElectricOh!
, playing against Tatiana Rivera and another cast member from Nightshifters .
John had assumed Micah would be playing in his place, so he was caught unprepared—shifted suddenly from being in the background to being in the hot seat.
He sought out Micah among everyone gathered for the tournament, trying to figure out if the change had come from her or from up above.
She was still wearing the Elvis shirt, although she’d thrown leggings on underneath it, and then an oversized cardigan that covered the whole outfit.
Her hair was back in the braid she’d had it in post-shower.
The whole look should’ve been too casual, maybe, borderline sloppy, but Micah had a way of making anything look stylish and purposeful.
Still, John found himself wondering if that was always what she’d planned to wear.
Somehow he didn’t think so, and then he didn’t know if there was any significance to that.
She had to know at this point he would have a Pavlovian response to that fucking Elvis shirt.
He should’ve stuck around her room longer.
He’d felt the What does this all mean? swirling around his head, and the more time she stayed in the bathroom, the more he started to doubt he actually wanted the answer to that question.
When she’d emerged, she’d been fully, unapologetically, gorgeously naked, and it had taken his breath away.
Not just the sight of her—although, Christ, the sight of her—but the fact that he was seeing her that way at all.
It felt profound, somehow, sacred. He’d felt momentarily unable to speak.
Then she’d made that crack, which he supposed had answered the question he’d never asked.
This was exactly why he’d known it would be a bad idea, to give in to the temptation to be with Micah.
For her, it had obviously been an impulse, something she wanted to do so she did it.
I was feeling horny, and now I’m less horny, so…
For him, it had opened a Pandora’s box he’d kept so tightly locked away.
And he didn’t know if he could get everything back in that box. He didn’t know if he wanted to.
It took a moment for John to realize that Ryder had come up to stand next to him, and that he’d been talking now for a couple minutes.
“Sorry, what?”
Ryder sighed, flicking the hair out of his eyes in a practiced gesture.
“I know we’ve all had our differences. But Frankie and Steve say they could be in, depending on what it would look like.
A limited run, probably. Dates in a few major cities.
Maybe one of the big festivals. There’s that one in Vegas, it’s all nostalgia—”
“Wait,” John said, still trying to catch up. “Are you talking about getting the band back together ?”
“Why not?” Ryder said. “We all agreed that tonight’s show went off without a hitch. Just like old times.”
There were a lot of hitches in the “old times,” John wanted to say, you being the biggest one . “And Micah’s into this?”
“Not yet. But she will be, after you talk to her.”
John glanced over at where Micah was standing with Frankie, her arms crossed, her face animated as she said something that made Frankie laugh.
The idea that Micah—the same woman who’d walked away from the band in the first place, the woman who only a month ago had said no rehearsals because that was how little she wanted to spend time with them—would now want to reunite seemed like something to laugh about.
And yet John found himself considering it, wondering if he would want to do it, if it meant spending time with her again.
If it meant they could be on the stage like they’d been tonight, some magical alchemy happening that made them feel bigger than their individual parts, if it meant they could have private moments offstage that would bring them closer again.
He’d say yes for her . He wondered if she’d do the same for him.
The cruise director called for all their attention to begin the tournament.
He explained that a member from each team would stand on either end of the court, and Ryder was quick to claim the head end.
It was clear that he thought it was yet another way of asserting his superiority, but it backfired when Tatiana chose to be at the foot end with John.
He could tell that Ryder wanted to be the one next to the actress, but instead he was stuck with her very handsome co-star whose IMDb credits weren’t as impressive.
“Hope you’re bringing your A game,” Ryder said as they split off to their different ends.
“I’ve never played shuffleboard in my life,” John said. “My game is going to be pass/fail, hate to tell you.”
Tatiana was already standing at their end of the court, and John offered a handshake as he approached, introducing himself.
On Nightshifters , you could always tell what season you were watching by how curly Tatiana wore her hair, and now it was flat-ironed to season one levels.
It was surreal how exactly the same she looked as she did on TV, from her wide smile to the distinctive mole on the tan skin of her cheek.
“I caught your show last night,” she said. “You were very good.”
“Thank you,” he said. “I caught all seven seasons of your show, and you were very good.”
“Except season six?” she said, her brow arched, but her eyes were sparkling.
“Even season six,” he said gallantly.
After that, they had to focus as the game started. Ryder went first, using his stick to push one of their yellow discs out onto the court. It didn’t pass over the middle line, which meant John had to walk up and remove it from game play.
“It’s all good,” he said to Ryder, which he meant sincerely but realized only after it came out that it was the worst possible thing he could’ve said. Ryder was fuming.
“Bit of a hothead, that one,” Tatiana said to him once he’d taken his place back next to her.
“You have no idea.”
Her teammate took his turn, and she clapped supportively, although afterward she leaned into John and said, “He is so drunk right now, I don’t know how he’s standing up.”
That made John laugh. It was weird, how easy it was to talk to Tatiana—arguably the biggest star on the ship. Maybe it was because he didn’t want anything from her, not validation that they were on the same level the way that Ryder did, not even an autograph or picture the way that Steve did.
He glanced over at Micah, but she was examining her nails, probably daydreaming about chewing on them and trying to remind herself not to.
Every once in a while she interacted with someone in the crowd, leaned back to be in a selfie, or signed a CD case someone held out to her.
Gratifying, that people still had CD cases, that they’d brought them all this way.
Frustrating, that Micah wouldn’t even look at him.
Ryder sent another disc skimming down the court, lightly tapping Tatiana’s team’s black disc.
John could already tell that Ryder’s main strategy was going to be hit the other team’s discs , whether that was the best move or not, and he had to remind himself that he didn’t actually care who won this game.
When they tallied up their points at the end of that round, they were tied up at eight apiece, and Ryder gestured toward Micah.
“Why don’t you update the chalkboard?” he said. “You’re good at keeping score.”
The cruise director started to interrupt to say that wasn’t how it was done, but Micah grabbed a piece of chalk. “I always thought that was your strength,” she said. “But I’m happy to.”
“Ooof,” Tatiana said. “They used to date?”
John wondered if she brought it up because she already knew, or solely based off the animosity between them now. “Yeah,” he said. “Back in the Nightshifters days.”
“And what about you?”
John glanced at her. “We’re just friends.”
“Hmmm.”
He wondered what that meant, but he had to take his turn.
He surveyed the yellow discs, trying to figure out what the strategy for an opening shot even was here.
For the first time, he was very conscious of the crowd that had all gathered to watch, circling the court, up on the mezzanine of the deck above, a section of contest-winners seated on chairs to one side.
“Don’t hold your stick like a sword,” the cruise director called from the other side of the court.
Just what he needed to be told in front of everyone.
“Loosen up, think of it as an extension of your hand. Your thumb should be up here, like this.”
John adjusted his grip, trying to follow what the director was saying.
When he glanced up, he caught Micah watching him.
She didn’t smile, but she didn’t look away.
And suddenly he knew, as clearly as if she’d whispered it in his ear—he’d be goddamned if she was any less horny than she’d been earlier.
He might not know where they stood, friendshipwise; he might not know how she felt about him beyond that.
But she’d liked what they’d done earlier, and she was just as desperate as he was to do it again.
Maybe there was no strategy at this point. He took a couple steps toward the disc, sending it sliding down the court.
He was supposed to look at Ryder for confirmation of where it landed, but he found himself looking over Ryder’s shoulder to Micah instead. Nice shot , she mouthed, and he grinned back at her.
“Just friends,” Tatiana said, lining up her own disc. “Okay.”
“I’m in love with her,” John said, and Tatiana’s stick ended up going crooked, sending her disc flying toward the crowd. They gasped and moved back a few inches as if in a wave, picking up their feet to avoid getting hit.
“You did that on purpose,” she said, but her voice held no real censure.
John was as surprised as she was. Not about the way he felt—that part had been there for so long, he didn’t even know who he was without it.
He was just surprised he’d actually said it out loud, to Nightshifters star Tatiana Rivera, of all people, in the middle of the night in the middle of an ocean while playing shuffleboard in front of a crowd that included several werewolf masks.
“And how does she feel?” Tatiana asked.
“That,” John said, setting up his next shot, “is the million-dollar question.”
“She’s jealous as hell right now,” Tatiana said. “I can tell you that much.”
This time John could’ve been the one to accuse her of doing that on purpose. He sent his disc ineffectually down the court, where it landed almost dead center on the line. Not out of play, but worth nothing unless it got knocked into the scoring zone later.
“No, she’s not,” he said automatically.
“Trust me, she’s practically green . She keeps glancing over here when you’re not looking.”
In normal circumstances, John prided himself on his discretion, and there were many reasons to be extra discreet around whatever was going on between him and Micah.
At the same time, he couldn’t help but want more of Tatiana’s insights now that he had her here.
God knows he couldn’t talk to the rest of the band, and the terrible reception on the boat made any chance of a long conversation with any of his housemates back home impossible.
“We hooked up,” he said. “But I couldn’t tell if it was just physical for her or if it meant more than that.”
“How long ago did you hook up?”
John glanced at his watchless wrist in a gesture that probably looked like a joke, but had just been a vestigial instinct. “Two hours?”
Tatiana laughed, then seemed to get that he was serious, and laughed even harder. “Oh my god,” she said. “This is too good.”
There was a sharp whistle from the other side of the court, and John and Tatiana both glanced over to see Ryder gesturing at them. “We gonna play or what?” he yelled.
“Patience,” Tatiana called back, “is a virtue.”
The crowd cheered, obviously loving the banter, and Tatiana turned to wink at John. “So how did things go afterward,” she said, leisurely setting up her next shot. “Two hours ago.”
But the crowd had spooked John. He and Tatiana had been talking in low voices, and they were far enough away, but it occurred to him that having this conversation surrounded by people recording on their phones probably wasn’t a great idea.
Besides, he was pretty sure they were supposed to be hamming it up more, actually putting on a show instead of just quietly talking to one another and playing shuffleboard.
The showmanship part had never been his strong suit.
He also had no idea how he would answer Tatiana’s question, because he wasn’t sure how it had gone.
He glanced over at Micah again. She was leaning against the scoreboard, waiting for the end of the frame when she could add more points to the running totals.
She was playing with the end of her braid, flipping the comma-shaped bit over her fingers and then pulling it through.
He remembered that moment in her room— undo your braid .
From the directness of her gaze when she looked back at him, he thought she might be remembering the same thing.
“I think I’m about five seconds away from forfeiting this game,” John said, sliding one of the yellow discs into position to take his turn. “But you said patience is a virtue, so here we go.”