Chapter 11
Zara
Dear Sandra,
Do you remember when we used to go to the beach, look at the surfers, and say that one day, we would learn how to surf just so we could get one of those hot surfers for ourselves? I wonder if the same thing is applicable to dating billionaires or millionaires. Does one have to become a billionaire or a millionaire to date one? I don”t think that”s true, but it”s not like I”ve ever been with one.
Oh, wait. I think I was with someone really rich, but I don”t even know his real name. Not that he believed me. I know you”re dying to hear more. Too soon? I don”t know. Anyway, gots to go.
Miss you,
Zara
Lila is waitingfor me on the cluttered couch as I enter our small, yet cozy, apartment. I”m grateful to see she started tidying up the toys from the ground. However, the rattan toy chest seems to be overflowing. ”Hey, you’re back. Are you okay?” she asks me softly as she clambers off the couch and walks over to me. Her eyes are wide, and she looks nervously at me, as if worried I’m going to break down. Does she really think I’m that emotionally vulnerable?
”I”m fine. Why?” I ask her, frowning as I walk into the apartment. I don’t want to speak about Zeus and what just happened. I’m not sure how I feel about it all.
”Because you sounded really upset on the phone, and I know this isn”t something you normally do.” She gives me a knowing look, and I blush.
”What”s not something I normally do?” I shrug nonchalantly, as if I have no clue what she’s talking about. ”Oh, you mean have casual sex with a man I met at a bar, going to The Plaza Hotel, letting him do things to me I”ve never done with anyone else before in my life? And then when I think the morning”s going to be the culmination of an amazing night, he tells me that he expects me to make him breakfast while looking at me like I’m some sort of trash?”
”Oh, I”m so sorry,” she says, grasping my hands. ”Do you want me to make you breakfast or find him and give him a piece of my mind?”
I shake my head, a wry smile on my lips as I gaze at my best friend”s flashing eyes. She looks angrier than me. ”I”m not hungry, but thank you. And it”s not your fault. You”re not the one that made me go home with Zeus.”
”What”s his real name?” she asks. Her hand flies to her mouth as the realization hits her. ”You don”t even know his real name?” The shock and awe oozes out of every pore as she stares at me.
”I became the best Carrie Bradshaw that I could,” I explain, even though I’m pretty certain Carrie always got their names. ”It wasn’t about me and him having a personal connection; it was about me having sex with a gorgeous man. Period. I’m not going to think about it ever again.” I run my hands through my hair and push my shoulders back. “So, no, I don’t know his real name. He is simply Zeus to me.”
”You do not know the name of the man you had sex with?”
”You”re making me feel like a hoe, Lila.” I glare at her.
”Well, we both know you”re not a hoe, but I can”t believe you didn”t ask him his name.”
”That would have ruined the fantasy because it was a fantasy. I mean, what sort of Greek god Adonis normally wants to pick me up and take me out? Plus, he wasn”t looking for anything more, trust me.”
”He was really cute, and those men rarely settle down,” she finally agrees. ”You want some orange juice?”
”No, but I”d die for some coffee if you want to make some.” She smiles and nods, and I go and sit on the couch. I brush aside a stack of folded clothes and wince as they fall to the ground. ”Elise is still not back, huh?”
”No, and we both know she won’t be back for hours. Do you know what time the kids will be back?”
”Probably around nine. What time are you meeting the theater folks today?” I ask her.
”Hank wants us all to meet at some breakfast place around eight. He said he should have an early copy of the New York Times Sunday review for our play.”
”Oh, wow,” I say, trying not to sound dismayed. ”So it”s definitely being reviewed?”
She nods. Her face has a happy and excited look, and my stomach curls. ”Yeah, there”s definitely a review. Hank says his cousin knows someone who works there and, well, I”m really excited. This could be it. This could be my big break. I mean, most probably, it”s going to be Hank”s big break more than mine, but it could be mine as well.”
”Do you really think it”s going to be Hank”s big break?” I ask her, remembering how she joined me in making fun of Hank the previous evening.
”I know he”s a jerk, and he”s full of himself, but that”s just because he”s playing this role,” she says as she boils some water. She looks at me and then laughs at the expression on my face. ”Okay, so he”s a jerk, period. But a lot of actors are. I think it just comes with the industry. I can”t be rude to him because what if he does make it and then they ask him who he wants to star with in a big Hollywood feature?”
”You think he”s going to ask you?” I say, knowing he would jump through hoops to act alongside Jennifer Lawrence or Angelina Jolie.
”I mean, you never know. I don”t want to burn that bridge.”
”Okay, I understand that,” I say. I hear my phone ringing from inside my bag. ”Hey, do you mind if I take this real quick?”
“Not at all.”
I pick it up. It”s my mom. I stifle a groan. I love my mom, but she has a way of always irritating me. Maybe it’s because nothing I do is ever good enough for her. I feel like a constant disappointment, and I hate it.
”Hey, Mom.”
”I didn”t wake you up, did I. It’s seven a.m. here, and I wasn’t sure what time it was there?”
”It”s seven a.m. here, Mom.”
”Well, it”s seven a.m. here in Florida, and I know New York is a big city and has all sorts of?—”
”Mom, New York and Florida are in the same time zone. Just because New York City is bigger than Port Charlotte doesn’t mean it has a different time.”
”I know, dear. But I always get confused when the time goes forward, and then it goes back, and everything changes.”
”Yeah, but it changes there, and it changes here. We”re always at the same time.” I try not to let the exasperation sound in my voice. My mom is not a dumb woman, but sometimes she makes the most inane comments.
”So, is your sister there? Your father and I…”
”She”s not here, Mom.”
”Oh, she”s gone out running, has she?”
”What?” I ask. ”What are you talking about?”
”Well, you said she”s not there. I assume she”s gone out running. Or has she taken the kids to the park?” Clueless. She”s absolutely clueless. But I”m not about to tell her that her beloved youngest child is in bed with a stranger doing who knows what because, frankly, it”s not like I”m any better. I also spent the night in bed with a stranger, doing things I would never tell my mother about.
”So, Papa and I were wondering when you”re going to come to Florida. We haven”t seen you in ages.”
”Mom, we don”t have the money right now to fly to Florida,” I say, biting down on my lower lip. Frankly, Elise and I were glad to leave the state. We spent our entire lives there, and when it was time to go to college, all I knew was that I wanted to go somewhere other than Florida. That I”d gotten into Columbia had been the icing on the cake, and the fact that they”d given me a financial aid package also helped. Until it hadn’t. But then Lila had been there for me.
”I saw Sandra”s mom at Publix yesterday,” she says. ”And…”
”Mom.”
”She also wants to know if you”re going to be visiting anytime soon. They really…”
”Mom.” I sigh. ”Look, it”s early. I have to get ready for work. Was there something else you wanted to ask me about other than if I”m coming to Florida anytime soon? Because the answer is no.”
”No. Is it that wrong of me to want to speak to my eldest daughter?”
”No, Mom. It”s not.”
”Where are the kids? Let me say good morning to them.”
”They went out for doughnuts,” I say quickly because I know if she finds out that they”re sleeping at the neighbor”s house, she will have a heart attack. We don’t do sleepovers in this family.
”Okay. Well, you could”ve just told me your sister took the kids out for doughnuts. She”s such a good mother.”
”Yeah, Mom. She”s such a great mother. She”s living with me and my best friend in a two-bedroom apartment, not working, and trying to become a reality TV star. But hey, yeah, she’s mother of the year.”
”Are you being sarcastic, Zara?” My mother’s tone changes.
”No, Mom. I”m just joking around like always.”
”Dad and I were wondering if you were seeing anyone and if you’re planning on having any kids any?—”
”Mom, I got to go.” I hang up and look over at Lila, who”s pouring freshly brewed coffee into two mugs. ”Mothers.”
”You okay? Milk and sugar?”
”Always,” I say, nodding gratefully. She pours some milk, adds two spoonfuls of sugar to my coffee, and brings the cup over to me. ”Thank you,” I say, taking a long, deep gulp of the bitter yet delicious liquid. ”This is amazing,” I tell her, though it”s really not. I would much rather have a coffee from a coffee shop with full cream and mocha, but that”s not in my budget.
”So, tell me more about last night. Or is it too soon?”
”Is what too soon?” I say.
”Is it too soon for you to go into the details without it hurting?” she asks like I just lost my husband of ten years. I try not to roll my eyes at her. I love Lila, but my mom has irritated me even more than I was already irritated, and I’m in a bad mood.
”It doesn”t hurt, Lila. Am I annoyed and frustrated and angry that I slept with American Psycho number three? Yeah, I am, but…”
”American Psycho number three.” She starts laughing. ”Good one.”
”I mean, he wasn”t that bad in bed. And fine,” I say as I take another sip of coffee and feel myself getting a bit more energy, ”it started off great. I”m not going to lie. From the moment our eyes met in the bar, I felt something.”
”There was definitely chemistry between you guys. I could see it myself. It was palpable,” she says dramatically. ”Pal-pa-ble.” She draws out the syllables.
”Yeah, it felt like a dream, to be honest. When we got to The Plaza, I felt like a princess—a half-dressed princess, but the sentiment was the same. I wish I would”ve had more time to just look around and enjoy the setting. But obviously, Zeus didn”t care about that because he only had me there for one reason.”
”Was it worth it?” she asks in a low voice and I sit with her question for a couple of seconds, just sipping on my coffee. ”Zara, tell me.”
”It was fucking worth it.” I nod and grimace as I remember the feel of his body on mine. ”I hate to say it because he”s a jerk, but fuck, it was worth it.”
Her eyes widen. ”So you orgasmed?”
”More than once,” I say, nodding and blushing. ”I mean, at least he was good for something.”
”You don”t regret it then?”
”No,” I say honestly. ”I mean, I”m annoyed, yes. But only because he was a dick in the end. But I guess I wasn”t going to see him again anyway, so what does it matter?”
”So, you had fun?”
”Yeah, I had fun.” I pause. ”Until this morning. But hey, I got him back.”
”What do you mean you got him back?” she asks. ”What did you do?”
”Let”s just say I ordered a couple hundred dollars” worth of room service.” I smile. ”I wish I could”ve been a fly on the wall watching him when it arrived.”
”Oh my God, you”re so bad.”
”Hey, he deserved it.”
”Oh, he totally did,” she says. ”Does this mean you”re ready to start dating again?”
”I don”t know. There”s just so much I need to focus on right now. I need to retake the LSAT. I need to find a cheap LSAT prep class. I need to look for a job. I…” Fuck, did I say that out loud?
”Wait, what?” She frowns. ”What do you mean, look for a job? You”re looking for a new job?”
”Yeah, but…”
”What? What is it?” she asks.
”Okay, don”t hate me, but I lost my job yesterday.”
”Oh my gosh. Oh, Zara, why didn”t you tell me? I”m so sorry. You made me think everything was great last night, and you lost your job?” She puts her coffee down and gives me a big hug. ”Zara, why didn”t you tell me?”
”Because I didn”t want you to worry.”
”Worry? About…” She pauses as it dawns on her. ”Oh, you mean paying rent and bills and stuff.”
I nod. ”Let”s be real. Elise is not getting a job anytime soon. And unless she”s somehow gone to Vegas to marry that Brian, and he”s going to give her money each month, I have to come up with a way to?—”
”I”m going to get a job,” she says. ”I”ll quit the play. I”ll…”
”No,” I say, shaking my head. ”I”ve got this. You”re not quitting the play. You supported me at a time when you didn”t have to. And if you hadn”t lent me your grandma”s money, you would”ve had that to live on right now. You would”ve been able to follow your dreams without…”
”I would”ve spent that money in college on crap. You know it.”
”Lila, please. You”re my best friend, and I want to be there to support you.”
“I know,” she says, squeezing my hands. ”And I know that you feel like you owe me, but you don”t owe me anything. And I know that you feel like you need to be the best friend in the world because of Sandra, but…” She puts her hand up to stop me from refuting her words. ”I”m just saying that you don”t have to support us. If you don”t have a job, that”s…”
”I”m going to find a job, okay? It”ll be okay. Please. It will kill me if you have to give up your dream.”
She wants to tell me that I can’t handle this alone, but she doesn’t because she knows how important this is to me. ”Let”s make a deal.”
”What”s the deal?” I ask suspiciously.
”I will not quit. At least not yet. But if you don”t find a job within two weeks, I will look for a job.”
”Fine,” I say, hoping that I find a job within two weeks.
”I”ll help you look for jobs when I get back from this breakfast.”
”You”re so sweet, Lila. You don”t have to help me comb through the plethora of crap online.”
”No, I do. You”re a really good best friend. You take care of me, you take care of Elise, you take care of the kids, and I”m really appreciative of you always being there for me. And I”m sorry that guy was a jerk and didn”t recognize that you were the bomb.”
“He was a jerk. Hot as hell and the best sex of my life, but also a jerk.”
“Best sex of your life?” She raises an eyebrow and giggles. “Sounds like he got something right.”
“Barely.” I wrinkle my nose.
“Doesn’t matter,” she says, shaking her head. “You”re going to meet a better guy, and you”re going to get a better job. Then we”re going to get a better and bigger apartment. Then, when I make it big, I”m going to buy us a mansion. And we”re going to have Lamborghinis and Ferraris and…” She pauses. “What’s another fancy car?”
”You make me laugh, Lila. Why do I love you so much?”
”Because we”re best friends forever. Nothing”s ever going to break our bond.”
”I know. I am so grateful for you.” I reach out and squeeze her arm.
”I”m grateful for you. You’re the best friend anyone could ever have,” she says. ”But you know, maybe we should talk about…” She pauses as I glare at her.
”Please don”t bring up Sandra again.” I wince as I say my childhood best friend”s name. My heart thuds at the memories.
”Okay,” she says. ”I won”t bring her up. At least not today.”
”Thank you, Lila.” I stare at her. ”Now, will you grab my laptop? I”m going to see what jobs are available online.”
”Sounds good. Are you sure it”s okay for me to go to this breakfast? I don”t want to leave you with the kids. I assume you will want peace and quiet. I know you”re going to need time and space and…” She waves her hands around. “This can end up being a madhouse.”
”It”s fine,” I say. ”I”ll be fine. If I need your help, I”ll let you know. And hopefully, Elise will be back soon.” I groan as I see my phone ringing. ”Speak of the devil,” I mumble, waving my phone at Lila and then answering. “Hey, Elise. Where are you?” There’s an edge to my voice, but I try to hold in my anger.
”Hey, sis. Miss you.” She”s giggling, and I feel myself tensing. This is not a situation I find humorous at all.
”Elise, where are you?”
”Atlantic City, bitch.”
”Elise.” My patience is wearing thin. “The kids will be home soon. You need to come?—”
”Hey, I”m going to be gone for the week. Take care of my babies.” She hangs up before I can respond, and I look at Lila and sigh.
“When she gets back, she’s getting a job,” I say emphatically. “Her gravy train is done. She needs to get a job and a place and become a responsible adult.”
“Yes!” Lila agrees, her voice stern. “It’s time for her to stop using you. When is she back home?”
“She says a week, but knowing her, it could be a month.” I groan loudly and close my eyes. There’s a pounding in my head that won’t go away. I want to crawl into bed, go back to sleep, and pretend everything is okay. I want to cry into my pillow and scream. I just need one thing to go right in my life. I’m stressed and nervous, and I’m hurt by Zeus. I don’t want to think about him, but I can’t help but remember the way he touched me. The way our bodies sang together. I’d forgotten all my woes in those moments.
It felt like we were the only two people in the world.
And that world felt like a miracle.
I just wanted to go back to that moment.
But then I hear the doorbell ringing incessantly and the sounds of young giggles, and I know that the day is only just beginning. There’s no way that I can go lie down in bed and feel sorry for myself when I have to take care of and entertain two kids.