Chapter 19
Zara
Dear Sandra,
You will not believe what I did last night.
I can barely believe it.
But today is a new day. Today, I have to start making the right decisions.
Today, I have to be the adult my driver’s license says I am.
I am not going to think about Jackson Pruitt and the way he turns me on.
I need to get him out of my mind.
How do I do that?
Miss you,
Zara
I wakeup the following morning feeling like I”ve just woken up from a bad dream. Did last night really happen? I yawn, stare at my discarded clothes on the floor, and sigh. The black dress on the ground is lying there, crumpled next to my thong, and I know that the previous evening indeed happened. My eyes involuntarily close as I think about Jackson’s fingers moving the thong to the side as I bounced on his lap. I remember how I nearly let him fuck me again, and I blush.
I still can’t believe he had the nerve to ask for my number. My heart raced as I debated whether or not to give it to him. I wasn”t even sure why he wanted it. Maybe he felt like I was an easy lay and someone he could call whenever he wanted a booty call, or maybe he was going to offer me money for my panties again. I’m not sure, and I don’t care. I don”t want anything to do with him.
I can’t believe this was the second time he”d seen me with the kids. And even though he knows now I’m not their mom, I still feel like a bad aunt. I shouldn”t have taken them with me. I made a huge mistake. In my desperation to make money, I ignored the practicality of being a good caretaker. I’m ashamed of myself. I made a big mistake.
I get out of bed, stretch, and head toward the kitchen. I’m grateful that the kids are still in bed. They’re most probably exhausted from the previous evening. They”d been good sports though. They were really well-behaved last night. I open the fridge and stand there, almost in a comatose state. When I hear the front door open, I look, hopeful that Elise is back. But it”s Lila.
”Hey,” she says, with a huge yawn. Her eyes are red, and she looks downtrodden. It’s been over twenty-four hours since I’ve seen her and she looks beat.
”Oh no,” I say, worry filling me again. ”What”s wrong?” I close the fridge door and walk over to her.
”It wasn”t good. It really wasn”t good.” Her lips tremble.
”What happened? What wasn”t good?” Though I already know what she”s going to say.
”The review. The guy from the New York Times thought the play was trash and that the actors were worse than the words. He said that Hank was laughable and that he couldn”t believe that anyone was stupid enough to put money toward a production that was dull and boring.” Her eyes blink furiously, fighting the tears threatening to fall. ”They”re going to cancel the show. Ticket sales are nonexistent; they said that they”ve only made…” She pauses as I take a deep breath.
”How much have you made?”
”They”ve only made a hundred and ten dollars so far.”
”What?” I’m surprised. ”That doesn”t sound right.”
”I mean, on opening night, it was packed. But I guess after they paid everyone and paid for the venue, they only made a hundred and ten dollars. The producers say it”s not worth it. They say it costs them more money to put on the play than they”re making. And after the review comes out on Sunday, no one”s going to come,” she wails. “Hank and I couldn’t get the reviewer to not print the review.” She rubs her eyes. “I thought this was going to be my big break, Zara. I thought I was finally going to make it.”
”Oh, darling,” I say and wrap my arms around her. I grab her face and look into her eyes. ”You are an amazing actress, Lila. This just wasn”t the role for you.”
”The play sucked, didn”t it? You can be honest. It wasn”t just Hank that sucks. It was the entire thing.”
I take a deep breath. ”Okay, I”m not going to lie to you. It wasn”t the best play I”ve ever seen, but you were good. You”re talented.”
She sighs. ”I guess talent doesn”t pay the bills though. How are you? How was last night? What did you and the kids do?” I shake my head and let out a loud groan. ”Zara, what happened?”
”Let”s just say I nearly made ten grand for selling my panties.”
”You what?” Her jaw drops. ”What? Did you get an indecent proposal from someone? Who was it? Not Frankie. Frankie does not have ten grand. Neither does Lennie,” she says, talking about the guy who works in the bodega and has made no secret of his crush on me.
”No, it was at this club I went to.” I shudder.
”What club?”
”It was called The Titanium Club. I saw a flier, and I called, and they said, ”Come in.” And I should”ve known it was too good to be true, but they said I would make fifteen hundred dollars. So I went, and I took the kids and…”
”You took the kids to a club?” Lila”s eyes widen. ”What?”
”I know. I really fucked up.”
”Damn! Things are that bad for us, huh?”
”What do you mean?”
”You would never take the kids to a club unless you were not in your right mind. Why didn”t you tell me it was that bad?”
It”s my turn to nearly cry. ”I didn”t want to upset you. I wanted to take care of it.”
She takes a deep breath. ”You have me. We have to figure something out, don”t we?”
”I guess so.”
”I have an idea,” she says slowly.
”What?”
”You”re not going to want to hear this, but…”
”But what?”
”I was speaking to Lenny.”
”Uh-huh?”
”And he says he”d be willing to buy some of your cupcakes, sell them at the bodega, and pay you.”
”Pay me before or after they sell?”
”Pay you immediately.”
”Really? I didn”t know that.”
”Because you never seem to want to hear it when I tell you you should make your cupcake business a thing.”
”Because cupcakes are not going to make me money, not like law school. I have to retake the LSAT and get into a school in New York.”
”Do you really want to be a lawyer though?”
”Lawyers make a lot of money. If I were a lawyer, we wouldn”t have these issues.”
”Yeah, I guess.” She grabs my hands. ”I mean, if that”s what you really want.”
”It is,” I say, though there”s a voice screaming at me, saying the last thing I want is to become an attorney. I ignore it though. I know lawyers make a lot of money, and some even do lots of pro bono that helps people who need it. If I could get a job where I make a lot of money and help people, that would make me feel amazing.
“So, tell me more about last night,” Lila says, but we both stop talking when we hear the sound of feet padding across the hardwood floors and look toward the bedroom. It”s Luke. He”s up, and he”s rubbing his eyes.
”Morning,” he says.
”Morning. You want some breakfast?”
He nods and heads over to the kitchen, opens the fridge, and takes out the carton of milk. ”I”m just going to have some cereal,” he says.
”Okay.” I nod, smiling at him. I look at Lila, and she looks at me.
”Elise should be here,” she says. ”She”s taking advantage of you, me, and both of us. She needs to be here for her kids.”
”I know, but what can we do?”
”I guess not much at this moment,” she says angrily. ”You”re looking for jobs today?”
I nod. ”Yeah, but I guess I need to occupy the kids, so I guess I won”t look until this evening and…”
”No.” Lila shakes her head. ”How about you relax this morning? Go and speak to Lenny at the bodega; see if he”s still willing to pay you for your cupcakes, and then you can make them, and I”ll take care of the kids.”
”But Lila, I can”t make you look after the kids, not when…”
”I”m your best friend,” she says. ”This whole thing goes both ways. You take care of me, and I take care of you. And then maybe I”ll even help you make the cupcakes.”
”Yeah, that would be amazing.” I pause. ”I have to make a lot of money, Lila. Frankie”s going to evict us if we can”t pay rent.”
”How much do we owe?” She sounds nervous.
”I have to come up with two grand for now, but we owe him more.”
”Two grand? Now I understand why you went to that club last night with the kids. Shit. Well, I don”t think you”ll get two grand from Lenny at the bodega, but it will be a start. We”ll have to brainstorm later. Okay?”
”Okay. I”m grateful I have you in my life.”
”I”m grateful for you too,” she says. ”Oh, and guess what?”
”What?”
”Hank tried to kiss me last night.”
”And?” I asked her, wondering if she was open to it.
”Ew.”
”Ew?” I repeat her sentiment. ”So, you didn”t like it?”
”He”s a horrible kisser. He slobbered all over me.” She shudders. ”Nothing like your Zeus.”
”Oh,” I say to her as I remember I haven’t told her everything that happened last night. ”You don”t know.”
”I don”t know what?”
”Zeus has a name.”
”How do you know his name? Are you stalking him?”
”No, I’m not stalking him, but I do know his name is Jackson Pruitt. I met him at an interview. And, of course, I didn”t get the job. But then, guess who was at the club last night?” I whisper.
”No.” Her eyes are as wide as saucers. ”Not Zeus.”
”Yes,” I say, nodding. ”He even gave me and the kids a ride home last night.”
”And did he stay the night? Is he in your room right now? Oh my gosh. Did you shag him?”
”No, I did not shag him. And who are you, Austin Powers?”
”No.” She giggles. ”But I”d love to be in an Austin Powers movie.”
”I know you would,” I say. ”He even asked me for my number.”
”No way. Are you going to go on a date with him? Has he called yet?”
”No, I didn”t give him my number. Are you crazy? He doesn”t want to take me on a date. He probably just wants to bang me in another expensive hotel. I’m sure of it.”
”And you would say no to that?” She giggles. ”Didn”t you say he was like the best sex of your life?”
”He was totally the best sex of my life, but I don”t need any more drama in my life right now. Not even for good sex. And girl, trust me, that man has gotten under my skin. I know I’ve gotten under his skin as well. It”s better for us not to be around each other or in any contact.”
”But you barely know him. How can you get under each other’s skin?”
”I just know. Trust me, I don”t want to get to know him any better because he”s the sort of guy who will ruin your life. He”s the sort of guy who worms his way into your brain, heart, and soul until you don”t even know how you”ve lived without him.”
”Whoa,” she says. ”You really like him.” There’s a glint of understanding in her eyes, and I frown.
”No, not at all. I don”t like him. I just…” I pause as she looks at me in disbelief. “It’s not that. It’s just I know that he’s not the sort of guy I should have in my life. Everything with him is just too electric. You know what I mean.”
“Nope,” she says with a knowing smile. “It sounds like this man means something to you. Whether you want to admit it or not. And it sounds like you mean something to him as well.”