Never Been Tamed

Chapter 23

Zara

Dear Sandra,

I got my first engagement ring. And it’s not a push-pop.

I mean, it’s not a real ring or anything.

I’m not actually getting married.

But the ring looks good on my hand. It’s all sparkly and almost seems to glow as it reflects the light around it. Wish you could see it.

Miss you,

Zara

I layin bed and just stare at my ring. It”s beautiful, nicer than any engagement ring that I ever expected I would have on my hand. Not that it”s real. For a few seconds I feel like I want to cry. I never expected the first engagement ring I would have on my hand would be fake. I never expected I”d be in a fake engagement. What was this life? Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn”t have felt so bad if I didn”t feel like I had a connection with Jackson but I do.

I like him more than I thought I would after everything that had gone on. It sure doesn’t help that I”m majorly attracted to him and our chemistry is through the roof. He”s definitely the most handsome man I”ve ever met in my life, but it”s clear to me that he has issues that he”s never acknowledged. His grandma was a piece of work. My stomach still churned while thinking about the conversation that we’d had.

I wonder what it would be like to actually be in a relationship with him, to actually be dating him, to actually be engaged to him. ”Never going to happen,” I mumble to myself. I close my eyes for a couple of seconds and try to stop the plethora of emotions from making me cry. I don’t want to feel sorry for myself. I want to rejoice that I finally have a way out of the poverty and desperation that has become my life. But I can’t stop the sinking feeling in my stomach.

I want real love. I want true love so fierce that it makes me rethink my entire life. I want a man to look me in the eyes and tell me that he loves me more than life itself. I want a guy to get down on two knees and propose, telling me that he can’t envision his life without me. I want the engagement ring on my finger to actually be a symbol of my connection with a soulmate.

Not this fake-ass relationship. That means nothing to Jackson.

I’m starting to wonder if it means something to me, though. Which is stupid because I barely know the man. Though I can’t stop thinking about his mesmerizing green eyes, and that half smirk-smile that tells me he’s about to tease me. And then there’s the way he always tucks my hair back behind my ear, like he’s thinking of an excuse to touch me.

When I envision my true love and a real engagement, it’s not like this. I don”t want a man to take me to Tiffany”s and tell me which ring to choose. I want a man that will pick the ring himself, but that feels like it”s never going to happen. It feels like I”m never going to find real love.

Maybe the simple fact of the matter is that I just need to play along with this and enjoy the moment for what it is. Maybe this will be the only engagement I ever have in my life. And though that”s sad, I realize that I want to enjoy what it means to be engaged even if it”s not real. I take a deep breath and open my eyes again and clamber out of the bed.

I wonder if Lila and the kids are up. I still can”t quite believe that Lila actually bought the lie. I know she”s a true romantic, but I can’t fathom how she’s accepted it at face value.

Then I think of Hank and how great an actor she thought he was and knew that maybe it didn’t take much for her to believe anything.

The reality of the situation was that she knew that Jackson and I had chemistry the first day that we met. She’d seen it and she knew I’d spent an amazing night with him. She wanted to believe that it was love at first sight. She wanted to believe that this was all real. She watched way too many romance movies and read far too many romance books. And most probably hoped that the same thing would happen to her one day. And I wanted to just shake her, I wanted to tell her that it was all a fake, a farce, but I knew that Jackson was right. I knew that if anyone were to approach her and ask her, the look in her eyes would give it away because for a split second she would be uncertain of how to answer. Lila was a great actress, but she was a poor liar. It killed me to lie to my friend, but I would buy her a real Chanel handbag to make her up for it.

Because I know Lila knows me like the back of my hand. And she knows that I also believe in true love. And she will see from the look in my eyes that I want something more from Jackson and I don’t want my friend worried about me.

I walk into the living room and spy Lila on the ground with the kids doing a puzzle. There are at least 200 hundred pieces on the table and my head hurts just looking at it. ”Morning everyone, a bit early for a puzzle, isn’t it?”

”We wanted to finish it,” Lila says, smiling and I resist the urge to comment that it looks like they just started. ”Did you sleep well?”

”I did. Thank you for asking.”

”Let me see your ring again,” Lila jumps up and heads over to me. She grabs my hands, her eyes wide as she looks down at it. ”It”s so beautiful.” The awe in her voice is mirrored in her eyes. “Jackson did an amazing job.”

”He really did a good job.” I smile and look down.

”Why didn”t you tell me that you guys had that great of a connection?” Hurt seeps out of her tone and I take a deep breath. This was going to be the complicated part.

”Because I didn”t know that it was going to go this quickly,” I say to her and she nods slowly. “And I didn’t think he felt the same way as me,”

”I guess denial is not just a river in Egypt, huh?”

”Yeah,” I say, trying not to grimace as she giggles at the joke.

“I guess when you meet the one, it really can happen just like that.” I don’t say anything else because I don;t want to keep adding multiple lies to the story. I was going to have to speak to Jackson about letting Lila in on the story.

”Guess what?” She says, her mind no longer on the ring if the sudden humor in her eyes is to be believed.

”What?” I ask her as I yawn. I’m still slightly tired. I’d been up half the night thinking about Jackson. How was the man already giving me sleepless nights?

”Guess who”s on their way home?”

”Not Elise?” I’m surprised. I hadn’t expected her back for at least a week or two. That was her normal MO when it came to her hookups. I look down at Charlotte and Luke and feel anger toward my sister. She’s not a good mother, but all I can do is be there for the kids until she grows up.

”Yeah, she told me that she tried to call you, but she couldn’t get in contact with you. So she called me to let you know that she’d be home soon and she had a message for you.”

“Oh?”

“She said to tell you, ‘you done good and she wants a trip to Louis Vuitton’.”

”What?” My heart thuds in distress. So this was why she was coming back already.

”You didn”t look at your phone?”

I shake my head. ”My phone was off.” I hadn”t wanted to be distracted by anyone. I didn”t want to hear from Jackson. I didn”t want to hear from Frankie. I just wanted the time to myself to think. ”I guess I should turn my phone on,” I frown and head back to the bedroom

”Yeah, your fiance”s most probably wondering what happened to you,” she follows behind me. ”He might be scared you’ve changed your mind. How long has your phone been off? Over eight hours I bet?”

”Something like that,” I say, nodding as I grab my phone and power it on. ”I”m going to make some coffee,” I say as I head towards the kitchen. ”Do you want any?”

”I”d die for a large cup of caffeine,” she stretches her arms above her head and yawns. ”The kids were up early and I’m still half asleep.”

”I know that feeling.” I look over at the kids and they are still working on the puzzle

”I want a coffee too,” Luke jumps up. “A frappuccino.”

“What do you know about frappuccinos?” I stare at him and he starts laughing.

”It’s like chocolate milk, please Aunty Zara.”

”You can have some orange juice,” I wonder if he’s ever really had a frappuccino or if he’s just seen Elise ordering one. ”Do you want some orange juice as well, Charlotte?”

”Yes, please Aunty Zara,” she nods and I watch as she picks up a puzzle piece and chews on it. She then takes it out of her mouth and drops it on the ground and I just shake my head. I’m not even going to say anything.

I hurry to open the fridge and ponder what to make everyone for breakfast while simultaneously wondering what Jackson is up to at that moment. I feel like I am in an alternate reality. My stress and worry about money has almost gone. Jackson had already paid Frankie off and paid a year”s rent in advance, which had been absolutely a godsend. At first, I told him I didn”t want him to do it, but when he persisted in getting me to agree, I relented. I”d pay him back though as soon as I got my million dollars. I didn”t want to feel like I owed him anything.

”Here”s your orange juice guys. Come on,” I call out to Luke and Charlotte, who both run towards the kitchen. I hand them their plastic glasses and we all stand still as the front door opens with a bang.

Elise is back. She walks in looking young, carefree and beautiful, and I watch as both kids put their glasses down and immediately run to her. It’s more than she deserves, but I know they are still too young to hold her immaturity and poor parenting skills against her.

”Mommy,” Charlotte screams in happiness as she wraps her arms around Elise’s leg.

”Mom”s back,” Luke grabs her by the waist and holds onto her for dear life. She beams as she looks down at them.

”How are my darlings doing? The two loves of my life?” She kneels down and showers them with kisses. They look up at her in adoration. ”I missed you Mummy,” Luke nestles his cheek next to hers.

”I know. I missed you too, darling.” She holds him close and then picks up Charlotte. ”And have you been a good girl for Aunty Zara and Aunty Lila?”

”Yes, Mummy. Even when we went for the job and even when we went to the club, I was very good.”

I frown slightly as Elise turns to look at me. ”You went to a club with my kids?” There’s a hint of judgment in her tone.

”Elise, I know your’re not even going to say anything to me about these last few days. I am up to...” I pause as she grins.

”Hey, lucky them. I love going to the club.” She puts Charlotte back down and I shake my head as she heads towards the kitchen and gives me a quick hug. ”Thanks, sis,” she kisses me on the cheek. I can see that her cheeks are blotchy and her eyes are red. So maybe everything wasn’t so hunky dory, after all?

”Are you okay?”

”I”m fine.”.

”What”s going on? What happened? Why do you look like you’ve been crying?”

”Because Brian and I broke up.” Her lower lip trembles and her eyes water. “He was my everything, Zara.”

I take a deep breath and try not to roll my eyes. I could hardly judge her for being overemotional about Brian when I was here engaged to a man I met on the same night. What a bad joke. ”Surely, you didn”t think that was going to be a forever relationship, did you?”

”No,” She opens the fridge and pulls out an apple. “But I didn”t think that he was married,” she says, wide-eyed, taking a loud crunchy bite. ”I sure didn’t think that as soon as his wife got back from her trip to Italy, he”d dump me.”

I press my lips together. ”He was married?”

”I didn”t know.” She takes another bite and I’m not sure if I believe her or not.

”I hope not. The good thing is that you’re back now.”

”I suppose.” She looks around the apartment and sighs. “Doesn’t look like you guys spent much time tidying up when I was gone.” She makes a face and something snaps in me.

”Excuse me? Oh hell no.” I fume at her. “You need to find a job. Enough is enough, Elise. You need to be a better mother.”

She stares at me for a couple of seconds and nods slowly. ”So you think I”m a bad mom?”

”I do,” I say softly, feeling bad for telling her the truth.

”And you think I”m a bad sister?”

I shrug in response.

”You think I”ve taken advantage of you?”

”Don”t you?” I ask her.

She looks at me for a couple of seconds and I wonder if she”s going to disagree with me. I wonder if she”s going to play the obnoxious, ignorant little kid like she always does. She shakes her head, which surprises me. ”No, you’re my big sister and we both take advantage of each other.” She shrugs and I want to ask her in what ways I’ve ever had the opportunity to take advantage of her. ”But I know I can trust you and I know you love my kids as much as if they were your own, so I feel safe leaving you in charge.”

I nod slowly. I didn’t want to get into it with her in front of the kids. ”Okay, sure.”

”By the way, have you got some news for me?” She tilts her head to the side and eyes me suspiciously. I already know what she’s referring to.

”What do you mean?” I ask her as the kettle beeps that the water is done boiling. I grab the kettle and pour the hot water into the French press. I have five minutes to wait until I can press it and pour myself a large mug of coffee.

”You”re engaged.” She looks down at my hand and grabs it. ”Wow, that”s a huge ring. You didn”t even tell me you were dating anyone, and you certainly didn”t tell me you were dating a billionaire.”

My eyes narrow as I stare at her. ”How do you know he’s a billionaire?”

”It’s in the fricking New York Times. Mom called me. The parents are ecstatic.”

”Mom knows?” I ask, feeling dread in my heart. This is the last thing that I need.

”Hello. She”s received several calls herself. Her and dad have been trying to call you all morning just like I have.”

”Oh shit,” I say as I grab my phone and check the screen. I power it on. I have several text messages and voicemails and I groan. I scroll through to see that I have several missed calls from both of my parents and from Jackson. I look at my text messages and freeze as I read Jackson’s last message that he’s his way over. ”Shit, shit, shit. Jackson is on his way over.” I rush to my bedroom to look in the mirror to glance at my appearance. I look like a hot mess, but I don”t have time to get changed. I look at the screen one more time and go to press the phone to listen to my parents” messages, but Elise comes rushing into the bedroom.

”He”s here.” She says excitedly. ”And holy shit, he”s gorgeous. Good on you, girl.” I blink at her for a couple of seconds before I go rushing out into the living room. I do not want to leave Jackson standing there by himself with the kids and Lila.

”Hey,” I say nonchalantly as I make eyes at him. “You’re here.”

He stares at me for a couple of seconds, a small smile on his face. ”I am here. Is everything okay?”

”Yeah. Why wouldn”t it be?”

”I wasn”t sure if you called the whole thing off or something.”

”What?”

”You didn”t respond to any of my calls or messages or-”

”Oh, I just had my phone turned off. I just needed to think for the evening without being disturbed by anyone.” I hold my phone up. ”The messages literally just came through.”

”Oh,” he nods and then steps forward and grabs me. He pulls me into his arms and gives me a long deep kiss. I can’t help but kiss him back and the giggling behind me alerts me that we have an audience. Elise and Lila are both standing there, gaping, while Luke and Charlotte are standing there with their hands over their mouths.

”Jackson, this is my sister, Elise. She”s back.” He looks at her and for a couple of seconds, I think he”s going to tell her off, but then he seems to think better of whatever is on his mind. He steps forward, gives her a wide smile and holds his hand out. Elise grins at him as she walks over and gives him a hug.

”Hey there, handsome,” she whispers and holds him close. He offers her a flirtatious smile back. I frown. Is he seriously going to flirt with her? A little bird whispers in my ear that maybe he wants her more than he wants me. I feel a surge of jealousy as my stomach plummets. Doubt creeps in and I can feel my face flushing so I plaster a weak smile on my face to hide my insecurities.

”So you’re my sister”s fiance?” Elise looks him up and down, an impressed look in her eyes. ”Not too shabby. I wish I was there the night that she met you.”

”Really Elise?” I snap at her.

”What? He”s hot and he”s rich.” She purrs like a cat. “Momma likey.”

”Well, it”s nice to finally meet you, Elise. I”m glad that you”re back in town. Your kids have been missing you.” Jackson’s voice is polite. “I have to admit that even if you were there the night I met Zara, I may not even have noticed you as I was so blown away by the chemistry I felt for your sister.”

She looks dumbfounded at his comment and a surge of raw happiness floods through me. This man is heaven sent. I reach over and grab his hand and he beams at me as he squeezes it tightly and then he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him. ”I”m glad that I have been here to help your sister while you”ve been out of town. It’s been hard on her and Lila.”

”I mean—.” Elise starts, but Jackson doesn’t let her finish her sentence.

He kisses my forehead and then my lips. ”So darling,” he says, looking at me in adoration. I know he”s acting because I feel like I can see love in his eyes. My heart stops for a couple of moments because it”s weird that I”m feeling a surge of love for him. I shake my head slightly. I”m going crazy. I”m already buying into the lies of love. I need to be careful. ”Have you started packing?” He asks me, and I shake my head slowly.

”I hadn”t even told Lila yet.”

”Packing for what?” Elise’s voice is sharp.

”Where are you going?” Lila asks as she steps forward. ”You”re not going to elope, are you? You have to have a real wedding. I would love to be a bridesmaid and I was hoping that it would be a destination wedding in like Hawaii or something.” She pauses and looks at me. ”Though, maybe not Hawaii because I feel like your hair will frizz up and you don”t want your hair to frizz up on your wedding day. Maybe-”

”We”re not eloping,” I say quickly. ”We”re going to the Hamptons to meet his family.”

”Yes,” Jackson says, nodding slowly. ”My grandparents and my parents would like to meet her and get to know her better. She is going to become part of the family and right now she’s a stranger to them.”

”I want to go to the Hamptons,” Luke runs up and holds his mom”s hand.

”I”d love to go to the Hamptons too,” Elise says, grinning.

”Me three,” Lila says, and I groan. Why were they doing this to me?

”It”s not going to be possible,” I say, shaking my head. I look over at Jackson and he nods slowly.

”Maybe next time.” He agrees.

”But I”ve missed you,” Elise says, not letting it go. ”I haven”t seen you in ages, and frankly,” she stares at him and makes a face. ”I don”t know you and neither do my parents. My sister means the world to me. It”s not just your parents that need to make sure that this is a good match.” She crosses her arms. ”I need to make sure this is a good match as well, and-” She holds her phone up and I frown. I watch as she dials a number and presses speakerphone as it rings.

”Hello? Elise, Is that you?” My mom answers and I freeze. What the hell is she doing?

”Hey, mom. I”m here with Zara and her fiance, Jackson.”

”Oh, good. I thought something had happened to her. She hasn”t returned any of my calls. Put her on the phone now.” I glare at Elise as she shrugs. I stare over at Jackson who looks like he”s not quite sure what”s going on.

”Hey, mom.”

”Zara?”

”Yes, mom?”

“Don’t yes mom me, like there aren’t many secrets you haven”t told me.”

”Mom, I-”

”Who is this young man you”re marrying?”

”You”ll meet him soon enough. I-”

”Your father and I are going to fly to New York this weekend. We have to meet him.”

I look over at Jackson. ”Mom, we”re not going to be in New York. We”re going to the Hamptons.”

”Well, then I”m coming to the Hamptons too. So will your father.”

”But mom, you?—.”

”But mom, nothing.”

”You can”t afford the Hamptons,” I say softly, feeling embarrassed to say that in front of Jackson.

”We”ll find a way. We”ve got credit cards. We”ll-”

“Mom...” I bite down on my lip. I do not want my parents to go into debt trying to get to know my fake fiance. I look at him and he rubs his forehead and lets out a deep sigh.

”They can stay at the house,” he says, nodding slowly.

”What?” I stare at him.

”They can stare at my parents” house.” He looks at Elise and Lila and the kids and mumbles something under his breath that sounds like, ”Fuck it. Everyone can come.”

”What?” I say, my jaw dropping. ”Are you crazy?”

”Really?” Elise says, staring at me, the glee back on her face. ”Zara, that”s how you”re going to speak to your new fiance, your gorgeous new fiance.” I ignore her.

”Jackson, are you sure about this?”

”Never been more sure of anything in my life.”

”We need to talk.” I hand the phone back to my sister, grab his arm and pull him into my bedroom. ”What are you doing?” I say glaring up at him. “Why did you say that?”

”What would you have me do, Zara? Your parents want to come. Your sister wants to come. Your best friend wants to come. I”m not going to tell them no. I want them to like me.”

”But this is fake. I cannot lie to my entire family as well.”

”Well, it looks like you”re going to have to,” he says, snaking his arm around my waist and pulling me towards the bed.

”What are you doing?” I say glaring at him.

”What I”ve wanted to do for the last couple of days,” he says, as he pulls me down onto the bed with him. I moan as he slips his hand up under my T-shirt and cups my breasts. ”I”ve missed you,” he says, pressing his lips to my neck. I groan as I kiss him back and run my fingers up under his shirt and touch his bare skin.

”No, you haven”t,” I say, but it”s hard for me to think as he pulls my top off.

”I”ve missed you. Trust me,” he says. ”And I”ve missed this.” He presses his lips against my nipple and sucks and I moan out loud. He presses his hand to my lips and grins. ”You”ve got to be quiet. There were people out there.” I glare at him and my eyes widen as he reaches for the top of shorts and pulls them down.

”Jackson, no.” My eyes widen.

”What?” He asks, laughing. ”You”re telling me you don”t want this?”

I just stare into his big beautiful eyes and don”t say anything. He pulls my shorts completely off and stares at my naked body before pulling off his shirt and then undoing his jeans. ”You cannot get naked in my bedroom, Jackson.” I hiss as I stare at his abs.

”Or what?” He says.

”They”re going to wonder what”s taking us so long.” I lick my lips. “My mom is on the phone.”

”We”re talking and arguing,” He chuckles. ”Isn”t that why you brought me into your bedroom?” He pushes me back onto the mattress and then he lowers himself next to me. I run my fingers down his arms, unable to resist.

”I did not bring you into the bedroom to-”

”To what?” He says, as he reaches between my legs and starts rubbing my clit. ”It feels like you”ve been ready and waiting for me,” he groans as he touches my wetness. He slides a finger inside of me and I moan and close my eyes. My fingers are gripping his shoulder. ”Oh yeah, baby,” he says as he presses his lips to mine and kisses me passionately. His tongue enters my mouth and I suck on it. I”ve missed him. I”ve missed his touch and I don”t know what the fuck I”m doing, but I know I cannot resist him. He growls as he runs his other finger down the valley between my breasts and then plays with my nipples. ”You are a drug to me, Zara. I’m addicted,” he grunts, as he rolls onto his back and grabs me and pulls me on top of him.

”What are you doing?” I say staring down at him.

”What we started the other night,” he grins as he pushes me up onto him. His cock is hard and he rubs it between my legs. I moan slightly as I feel the tip of him rubbing against my clit.

”Jackson,” I moan and he growls as he grabs my hands and pulls me down so that my breasts are crushed against his chest and his hands are on my ass cheeks.

”You were going to ride me in the club and that”s all I”ve been thinking about since that night. I need you to ride me right now.”

”But, I—” I say moaning, as I feel the tip of him at my entrance, ready to plunge inside.

”You”re not on any birth control yet?” he questions, raising an eyebrow and I shake my head.

”No. Why would I be since the last time I slept with you?”

”Because we”re going to be fucking like bunny rabbits all summer long,” he says, shaking his head at me. “And I don’t want to have to keep wearing condoms.”

”That”s what you think.”

”That”s what I know,” he growls. ”When we”re in the Hamptons, I don”t want to have to worry about having condoms every five minutes. You need to get on birth control tomorrow.” I stare at him for a couple of seconds and watch as he reaches down and grabs his jeans and pulls the condom wrapper out of his pocket. He slides it on and then repositions me on top of him. ”Because the next time I fuck you, I don”t want to have to wear this,” he says, as he pulls me up and I feel myself lowering onto him. I gasp as he”s fully inside of me. He grabs my hands and holds them up above my head and I feel myself moving up and down on top of him. It”s an instinct that I can”t resist. I want this just as badly as he does.

I moan as he reaches up and cups one of my breasts and I start moving faster and faster. ”Oh, fuck yeah,” he says as he grabs my waist and bounces me harder on top of him. ”Oh, fuck yeah,” he says, as I gyrate back and forth. ”Yes,” he says. ”I”ve been waiting for this.” I moan as he lifts me off of him and then flips me on to my stomach. I turn to look at him and he kisses my shoulder and then runs his fingers down my back. He reaches down and spreads my legs wide, and then I feel him lowering himself on top of me. I feel him insert his hardness and suddenly he”s fucking me hard and fast. ”As much as I loved you on top of me,” he whispers in my ear. ”I know this needs to go fast. I know your mom probably is waiting to talk to us,” he growls into my ear and I close my eyes and grip the sheets as he fucks me harder and harder.

I hear myself screaming as I orgasm and he laughs as he pulls out of me and turns me around. I watch him pull off the condom and I blink up at him in confusion. ”Take me in your mouth,” he says. ”I want you to taste me.” I blink at him for a couple of seconds and then nod. He lowers his cock to my lips and slowly starts fucking me in the mouth. I take all of him, even though I”m gagging and he groans as he thrusts in and out, faster and faster. He’s salty and sweet and I open wider as he stills and then I feel him coming hard as his salty semen erupts. ”Oh, fuck yeah.” he says grunting as my lips quiver on his skin. After ten seconds he pulls out of my mouth and drops onto the bed next to me. He leans over and kisses me, cupping my face, running his fingers down the side of my body. ”Fuck, yeah. This is one of the best decisions I”ve ever made.”

”What is? Making me your fake fiance?”

”No,” he says laughing. ”Making you my fake fiance with benefits.” He winks and I groan as he pulls me to him for another kiss. ”You can”t tell me that you”re not happy about it as well.” His fingers run down the inside of my thigh.

I keep my mouth shut because he”s right. I”m enjoying every moment of being with him, though I’m still not sure if I’ve made a terrible mistake.