Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
I order another beer from the waitress at Avalanche, while my buddy Phil curls a slice of pizza in half and shoves a good majority of it in his mouth.
“You’re living with a chick?” he mumbles over the food.
I glance around the crowded pizza joint, hopping with locals getting their drink on, and search out our waitress. It’s only been thirty seconds since I ordered, but I need that second beer.
Mira has to leave. That, or we’re going to kill each other.
Which means I need to find her another living situation.
All my local buddies have suddenly shacked up with their girlfriends.
My options are limited, but Mira’s aren’t.
She could live with Lewis’s parents, where she grew up. She’s just choosing to be stubborn.
Because she is a pain in my ass.
“I gotta get her out, man. Can’t live with that girl. You don’t know what she’s like.”
“Didn’t you say she was beautiful?”
Did I mention that? Dammit.
Phil raises his eyebrows, and I pluck at the front of my T-shirt. Is it hot in here? “That’s not the point.”
Phil takes a gulp of beer and wipes his hands on the thin napkins. “Best way to get rid of a woman is to find another.”
“I don’t need another woman,” I grumble. “I need the one who’s contaminating my hideaway to get out.”
“No, I know, man. That’s what I’m saying. Bring another chick around. This girl, Mira, she’ll get pissed and take off.”
Oh, fucking hell. Why did I bother telling my old high-school buddy the situation? Phil’s an amazing mountain biker, but he isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
“It’s not like that. She won’t get jealous. She’s not into me,” I say, biting off my words. There was a time when Mira was into me and I didn’t realize it, until I was practically inside her.
I shake my head. This isn’t the same.
Phil swigs his pint, studying me. “Doesn’t matter, man.
We’re all animals when it comes down to it.
She’ll get territorial. Men duke it out until they land on top.
” He snickers at his joke. “Women, though—dude, they’re manipulative and vocal.
They yell and stomp until you cower. Don’t cower.
Whatever you do, remain on top. Bring other women around.
Mira will get the picture. She’ll realize she’s lost her territory and either take off, or stay away from the house as much as she can. ”
Jesus, I’m being lectured about biology by my local buddy, who never left Lake Tahoe. The worst part is, some of this crap makes sense.
“You’re missing the point, Phil. I don’t want to live with Mira.
If she gets pissed and stays away from the house, she’s still under the same roof.
And how is replacing Mira with some other nameless girl a solution?
I’m not like you and the rest of our friends.
I don’t want to live with a woman—well, my sister is different. You know what I mean.”
Phil holds up his hands. “Hey, I’m the idea man. You got a problem with performance, that’s your problem.”
The attractive blond waitress takes that moment to set my pint on the table, her mouth twitching as she clears a glass. I shake my head her way, as if to say, Don’t listen to this jackass.
The waitress leaves, and I lean toward Phil. “You want to keep your voice down. I don’t have a problem getting it up. Where the hell did you get that idea?”
Phil shrugs. “You said this girl, Mira, cut off your balls.”
Does he remember everything I say? Clearly I’ve been talking out of my ass. “I meant figuratively. Believe me, getting it up isn’t the issue. Everything’s on high alert. That’s part of the problem,” I mumble.
“Oh, hoo.” Phil slaps his hand on the table and leans back in his chair. “So we get to the bottom of it. You want her and she doesn’t want you, so you don’t want to live with her.”
“What? No. That’s not it at all.” Dammit, is that it? “The point is we are completely incompatible—”
“Seems one of you is compatible.” He glances at my lap.
I stop in mid-speech, staring incredulously at my jackass friend.
First of all—dude, why is my buddy checking out my balls? Second, he may be right. It causes me no small amount of agitation that I still have a physical attraction to Mira. Puts me in a downright fucked-up mood.
This conversation is giving me a headache. Somehow Phil’s suggestion is sounding more and more tempting.
I scan the surroundings. Avalanche Pizza is a major hangout.
Girls come here in their short shorts and flip-flops, wearing skintight tanks and full makeup.
It’s a casual pickup joint is what it is.
Why not scope someone out and bring her home tonight—test Phil’s theory?
It couldn’t hurt. His idea is dodgy at best, but under the circumstances I can make an exception.
I swig the last of my second pint. I haven’t had a hookup in a while, but it might be just what I need.
Lacy trips over the threshold. “Oops,” she whispers loudly in my ear.
“Easy, girl. Why don’t we sit you on the couch?”
When I picked up my and Phil’s waitress at Avalanche Pizza, I thought she’d be fun. Hot body, pretty face, sweet demeanor—an all-around ringer for a good time.
The only problem? Lacy is a lush.
As soon as her shift ended at eleven, she started pounding pints. Phil had a tough time keeping up. I gave up entirely. Someone had to drive us home.
Lacy was so smashed by the time we left, I decided to take her to my place and get her sober. Hooking up wasn’t on my mind. Trashed girls don’t do it for me, but that doesn’t mean I leave them to their own devices. Not when I covered the bill for her drinks. I’m partly responsible.
I guide her to the couch and she sinks like a rag doll.
This is a disaster. I should never have listened to Phil. “I’ll get you a glass of water.”
“Beer?” she slurs.
I have it in the fridge, not that Lacy will see any. “Sorry, I’m all out.”
I bring her the water and sit next to her. She rolls into me, and for a moment, I don’t mind. It’s been a while since I held a girl. I’d forgotten how nice it is.
I wrap my arm around her shoulders and she slips her hand up my shirt, caressing my stomach and chest. I’m okay with the easy touching—still not into the drunk hookup, though.
“Lacy, we should think about getting you home once you’ve had a couple of glasses of water. Is there anyone there? A roommate, maybe?”
I don’t feel comfortable dropping her off by herself in this condition.
“Nope. Want to come over? I bought a new mattress. It’s massive.” She nips my chin with her teeth. “We can do all sorts of fun things on it.”
“Ah, no. I was thinking of crashing. I’m pretty tired.”
The corners of her mouth turn down. “Oh.”
The next thing I know, Lacy’s lips are on mine, and she’s reaching for the snap of my jeans. The kiss isn’t bad, considering how trashed she is, but it also makes me feel…nothing.
Not one spark. But even if my mind doesn’t do drunk girls, my body has never had a problem reacting to them.
Until tonight.
I’ve got a hot chick reaching for my junk, and there’s no response from my better half. I actually wish this girl would pass out so I don’t have to deal with the situation. Which is insane. What is happening to me?
The sound of the doorknob jiggling grabs my attention, but Lacy’s still got an arm lock around my neck, her tongue down my throat. The door opens before I can untangle us.
Mira walks in and freezes, her keys dangling from her hand. Her gaze goes straight to where Lacy is palming me. Close quarters inside my sister’s place. The couch is only a few feet from the front door.
Lacy finally notices someone has entered, and comes up for air, giving me back my mouth.
“Hey,” I say to Mira. Might as well milk the situation. This was my plan, after all.
Lacy shows some modesty and pulls her hand from my pants, sitting upright, or as upright as she can while weaving from a heavy buzz.
Mira’s mouth tenses. She strides past us into the kitchen, flipping on the lights. She slams cabinet doors as though she’s looking for something, or wants to make a lot of noise.
“Is that your girlfriend?” Lacy whispers loudly.
“Roommate.”
“Oh.” She smiles. “Good.” She glances around as if only now taking in how small the place is. “Is there anywhere we can go?”
I consider the loft, just to get out of the line of fire, but I don’t think Drunk Lacy will make it up the ladder. And I’m not sure I want to find out what Lacy has in mind. I don’t like turning girls down. They tend to get more aggressive, as Lacy exhibited before Mira’s entrance.
At the same time, a part of me wants to continue testing this theory of Phil’s.
For a moment there, I got the sense Mira wasn’t simply pissed to see me, but pissed to see me with another woman.
And that shows promise. If she thinks running into this sort of thing is what she has in store living with me, maybe she’ll suck it up and move home to Lewis’s parents’ place.
“It’s pretty tight in here,” I tell Lacy. “We’re stuck on the couch. My roommate will probably go in her room soon anyway.”
Her face twists in a flirty pout.
I play with Lacy’s hair as Mira stomps into the bathroom. A few minutes later, she sweeps past us, slamming the bedroom door behind her.
“Damn,” Lacy says. “You sure she’s not your girlfriend?”
“Completely.” I lean in for another kiss.
I’m suddenly optimistic about having Lacy stay the night. Still not going to sleep with her, but I wouldn’t mind holding her and kissing her. I miss that. And because there’s no spark, I have zero need to worry about the repercussions of this relationship.