4. Ava
AVA
T hank you for taking me to see the bunnies.”
“Anytime, Ava from the main house,” Alex chuckles with a smile. It’s been our running joke for the last few months since I met him. Mostly because I live in the main house and he, who lives in an apartment in the small town a few miles away from the lodge, can’t fathom what that must be like.
I hate to tell him, but it’s definitely not all it’s cracked up to be. You can’t even get any sleep.
Alex works security here at Oak Ridge Lodge, and today, he found a nest of baby bunnies hiding out and waiting for their mother to return. He brought me down to see them, and they were the best thing I’d seen all week.
Over the last few months, he’s become a good friend and someone I can talk to when I’m annoyed about something in the house that I’d rather not discuss with Mila. I love the girl, but she tells her giant husband everything.
“I’m sorry to say, the only bunnies I can show you are made of dust. But it was nice to get out of the house for a bit.”
“About that . . .”
“Uh-oh,” I chuckle. “Don’t tell me you’ve got another business proposal to discuss?”
He chuckles, scrubbing a hand through his dirty-blonde hair.
“No, nothing like that this time.”
“Well, then what is it?”
“Bobby’s holding a party next week,” he says. “I was wondering if you wanted to go?”
I can’t help but cringe at the thought of going to a party.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea . . .”
“Come on, Ava. Come out with me and enjoy yourself. You can’t let them keep you locked up in there forever.”
“No one’s keeping me locked away,” I chuckle, though he’s not that far off the truth. Escaping Cross Estate unnoticed is like trying to swim away from Alcatraz.
Suicide.
“Who’s going?”
“Everyone from the lodge . . . Me . . . I was hoping you’d say yes, as kind of . . . like a date.”
I freeze at the mention of the word date , my hands clamming up.
“We’ve talked about this, Alex. We’re . . . friends.”
He chuckles, but it’s far from humorous.
“When are you going to stop friend-zoning me, Ava?”
“I’m not,” I lie. “I’m just saying, what if things get awkward?”
“I’m not proposing. I’m just saying we have fun together. What’s the harm in seeing where things go? I’m a nice guy, aren’t I?”
I wince, my teeth digging into my lip.
“I don’t know. I just—” I pause when a familiar dark cloud walks out of the house toward his car.
Two days ago, in his room, he basically told me I needed to get laid. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.
Levi Cross naked was something to behold, and I’m ashamed to say that I couldn’t help but notice . . . him . Seriously, how is it that big?
A shiver moves through me, remembering the incident. The way my body reacted to his proximity. The cut of his hips where they form that little V that makes women go feral.
The scent of the forest, whiskey, and everything that makes up Levi Cross has been seared into my senses since.
Alex notices my steps falter, and his stare darkens when he follows my gaze.
Alex doesn’t like Levi. Levi doesn’t like Alex, but then again, Levi doesn’t like anyone.
Least of all, me.
“Is this about Cross?” My cheeks flame at the mention of his name. I haven’t spoken to him since he cornered me in his room.
“What about him?” I snap, my tone a little too defensive.
Judging by the way his shoulders tense, Alex picks up on it.
“Seems like a real dickhead.”
I swallow past the harsh burn in my throat. Of course, Levi’s a dickhead. He’s crude, abrasive, and harsh.
He’s also had a hard life, and I refuse to believe there isn’t something good in him.
“He’s had a lot to deal with.”
“Yeah,” Alex scoffs. “I’m sure that silver spoon doesn’t taste great once it’s tarnished.”
“He’s not like that,” I argue, and Alex stops on the path, looking down at me.
“His dad just died,” I add, softening my tone.
I’m the last person who should be standing up for Levi, but I’ve also heard his nightmares.
Seen the shadows in his eyes when someone mentions his father.
I know that pain, and as much as I don’t like him, I can sympathize.
“So? Your dad’s dead. You aren’t walking around with a stick up your ass.”
I bite back my retort and suck in a deep breath. I don’t actually know that my father’s dead, but after more than twenty years and not a single trace, I’d say it’s safe to assume he’s probably resting on the bottom of some lake somewhere, completely oblivious to the daughter he left behind.
“He’s going through a hard time. Money doesn’t make your problems go away.” It makes them worse . “Have you even spoken to him?”
“Have you?”
“I have.” Not really . “I’m just saying, don’t be too quick to judge. People have a way of surprising you.”
If you want the truth, as terrifying as he can be, there’s a strange part of me that feels safe with Levi. Like nothing can touch me as long as I’ve got the big bad wolf on my side.
Yes, he’s dangerous, but oddly enough, I know he’d never be dangerous to me . At least, not physically. My heart? Now that’s a different story.
“Look,” Alex starts, his voice quieter than before. “I’m not trying to be a dick. I know old man Cross just died. I’m just saying to watch yourself.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask around the bitter taste in my mouth.
Alex’s eyes darken, his jaw tense. “I’ve seen men like him get what they want far too many times.”
“How would you know what Levi wants?” I challenge, but he’s looking over my head. I don’t have to turn around to know who he’s looking at. Still, I do and find that frosty stare lingering on mine across the path.
Levi’s expression is unreadable. His gaze dark and haunting as always, but there’s something else there in the tension in his shoulders.
Alex stiffens, and he chuckles dryly, shaking his head.
“You’re right,” he concedes when Levi climbs in his car and drives off. “I haven’t got a clue what he wants.
Since I was a kid, reading has been my escape. Mainly romance, now, but as a kid, I loved anything fantasy. Bonus points if there were vampires, because I was one of those kids. You know . . . the ones that fantasized about starring in their own personal Twilight hell.
Anything to take my mind off what life really was.
The constant stream of men my mother brought home every few weeks.
It was always the same. She’d profess her undying love for Bill, or Jim, or John, and even Hector, the antique she met at a bar, but after a few weeks, that undying love would fizzle out late at night in the form of three a.m. screaming matches.
Because I couldn’t sleep over the cursing and fighting and broken glass, I took to reading to keep myself occupied until her boyfriends either left or dissolved into acts no ten-year-old kid should ever have to hear.
That habit bled over into my adult life, and now, I’m sitting in the window nook in my bedroom, reading to take my mind off things.
It’s late, and I should be getting ready for bed, but I can’t sleep.
It’s not that I’m not tired. I’ve barely slept more than a few hours a night all week, even with Levi being quiet, for once.
I would like to think maybe he took what I said to heart, but I have a feeling it’s more about the fact that he’s barely been home than anything remotely respectable.
He seemed . . . different today. Darker. Stressed, even.
I can’t help but wonder what goes on behind the scenes at both Cross Estate and the Oak Ridge Lodge that I’m not privy to. I hear a lot, but mostly tidbits, and though Mila and I are close, I know she doesn’t tell me everything. I’m not even sure she knows.
I’m afraid that if I know the full story, I’ll no longer feel the slight sense of security I’ve come to find in my mundane life of cleaning the Cross Estate.
I’ve got enough problems to worry about without adding the Cross’s and their killer family members to the list.
Not to mention the brooding psychopath that sleeps across the hall . . .
It’s not that I’m afraid of Levi. I just . . . don’t know how much I should trust him. Since I came here, he’s been nothing but cold or rude, right up until the other morning when I stumbled into his room to find him completely naked and nearly had a heart attack.
That morning . . . he was hot . A bully ready to humiliate me because he enjoyed the way I blushed at his crude words.
I wasn’t lying when I told him nothing could get me into his bed.
Forgive me, but I actually have to like someone before I’ll sleep with them, and Levi hasn’t given me any reason to. He thrives on intimidation. He sleeps around, and he’s got the mouth of a seasoned sailor.
Never mind that what he said the other day has been replaying in my head since.
A rush of heat slips through me, remembering his dirty words. Men like Levi don’t make idle threats. I fully believe if I found myself in his bed, I wouldn’t come out of it in one piece.
Blowing out a breath, I sit up straighter and reread the same paragraph for the fourth time. Unfortunately, I can’t stop thinking about the little lines in Levi’s hips that make women go feral.
Is it bad that everything he described made my knees feel weak? Or that the growl in his voice made my thighs slick with need.
Or that I’m maybe picturing him in place of the man in this book?
As if he’s standing over my shoulder, I pull the book closer to myself, reading a few lines where the man is spanking the woman. Then a few more because now that I’ve started, I don’t want to stop.
Even in my fantasy, he’s as handsome as sin.
The universe must be mocking me, because a thud sounds outside and I pause, peeking out the window, my heartbeat rocketing in my chest.
Levi stalks from the house, barely visible in the black he’s wearing, but I see him. Broad shoulders. Black tousled hair that I would love to run my fingers through. Impossibly long legs and a butt that taught me male butts can be hot, especially in dark denim.
Oblivious to me watching from above like a creep, he stalks to where his fancy black car has been sitting out front and takes a drag of the cigarette in his mouth, blowing out a cloud of smoke, before tossing it to the side. I can’t help but roll my eyes at his littering.
Figures. It’s always the hot ones.
I huff and flip back to my book, ignoring him, but I can’t focus on anything else when the engine roars to life.
He’s leaving again. He always leaves late and comes back home around three or four in the morning. I can’t help but wonder where he’s sneaking off to. Especially when every night he comes home, I hear him open my door and peer in quietly before he shuts it again.
Looking back out the window, the headlights cut on, and he doesn’t move for a long moment, as if he’s watching me through the dark tint of his windshield.
I can practically feel his gaze searing into mine, reminding me of what he’d said about having me in his bed.
“You want to be fucked until you don’t have to think about anything but me and all the things I’m doing to you, sweetheart?”
“God, Ava. He’s just a man,” I growl under my breath, and turn my head away, making myself look busy by pretending to read instead of anything productive because I can’t focus.
It’s no use. The blonde male main character in this book isn’t the same.
Why are men with messy black hair always so attractive?
After a long moment, Levi revs the engine once, then, like a demon in the night, he speeds off down the drive.
Finally, when the sound of the car disappears, I let out the breath I’d been holding, leaning my head back against the wall behind me.
Okay, maybe he’s right.
I do need to get laid.