13. Ava
AVA
I ’m officially another statistic.
Just another poor, pathetic soul left shattered after a night with Levi Cross. Shattered because I no longer know who I am.
I look down at the dirt caked in my nails in the shower. I’ve tried scrubbing, but I can’t get it all. My pussy feels like I had sex with the Incredible Hulk, and my back and tailbone are sore from the hard ground.
The worst part?
I can’t even be angry. I asked for it. Hell . . . I wanted it.
Who tempts a wolf with a fresh, juicy steak?
Someone who has a death wish , I think dryly.
Every time I move, I’m reminded he was there. While I’m not a virgin, the ache between my thighs is new. Before Levi, I’d slept with a grand total of two guys. Levi feels like the equivalent of six of those guys all mashed together into one dangerously handsome psychopath.
And now . . . I’m screwed.
I don’t know much about this Unknown asshole, but I have a feeling they’ll be back. It’s only a matter of time before they come to collect whatever the hell is on that elusive flash drive.
Something tells me the excuse that Levi caught me isn’t going to fly.
I take a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. I have to think. I can’t panic.
—Who am I kidding? Panicking is what I do best.
The truth is, I’m out of options. Every step I take feels like walking a tightrope over a pit I can’t see the bottom of. Who knows what happens after I fail to deliver what they’ve requested?
That thought alone terrifies me more than anything else.
When I cut the shower off and step out into the steamy bathroom, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I wipe the steam away.
I look shattered. How do you go back to the mundane after a night like that? Will I ever even walk comfortably again?
After we made the long trek back to the house, and he promised to find out exactly what I was up to in his room, I wobbled to my bed and passed out, exhausted from the night’s activities.
I’d woken up dirty, sore, and confused before I was forced to reconcile that last night wasn’t a fever dream. I really did that.
What kind of person hunts someone down in the woods and fucks them in the dirt?
What kind of person asks for it?
Growling at my own reflection, I storm back to my room. People have sex every day. Some have even kinkier sex than I could ever dream of. A romp in the woods is like foreplay for those people.
So, why am I so upset over one night?
Is it the way he called me baby girl ? How my body seemed to react to the nickname like he was some kind of sex god. Or maybe it’s how even when he was rough, his hands were gentle, like I was made of glass.
Maybe it’s just because I’ve been thinking about him for so long that now that I’ve had a taste of him, I’m not sure which way is up, let alone how to regulate these strange, tender feelings blooming in my chest.
Unfortunately, as much as I’d like to pretend otherwise, I’m not indifferent, and that’s a problem.
Despite how crude he is. Despite the way he acts like I’m beneath him half the time, there’s this little voice screaming in the back of my head that he’s not a bad man.
He pretends he is to hide the fact that he can’t sleep at night because the nightmares wake him.
That he’s an alcoholic, still struggling with his childhood and his father’s death, and that he cares a whole hell of a lot more than he lets on.
Levi definitely cares. He just hates himself for it.
Luckily, today is my day off, so when I put on some clean clothes, no one is expecting me.
I take my time—totally not hiding in my room to avoid the man across the hall—and clean.
I change my sheets because they’re stained with mud and littered with bits of leaves and sticks.
I vacuum and I even sort through some of my clothes before I’m forced to acknowledge the fact that my stomach is literally eating itself.
Silently, I make my way downstairs to the kitchen to look for something to eat. I find some leftover pasta that Javier had made the night before and grab a bowl, sliding it into the microwave. While I wait, I cross to the far cupboard to fetch a glass for water.
Only to run right into a hard wall of muscle.
Uh oh.
Levi catches me with an arm around my waist and a devious glint in his eyes.
“God, do you moonlight as a brick wall?” I snap, and he cocks a brow. I fall back a step when he steps forward, then another and another until my back hits the wall and all the air whooshes out of me.
He towers over me, his frame blocking mine until all I can see is him. He leans on his arm above my head, his front so close to mine, I can feel the heat of his body against my skin. My breath catches in my throat, my pulse skyrocketing as that familiar scent of whiskey washes over me like a drug.
“Hello, little ghost,” he greets so quietly, I can barely hear him over the pounding of my own heart.
His eyes burn with amusement. His free hand comes up, brushing a lock of hair back from my face, and my skin burns where his fingertips touch.
“You seem tense, Ava,” he says, his thumb lingering on my cheek for far too long to be considered appropriate.
“Not that it matters to you, but I’m hungry.”
“Last night work up an appetite for you?” His gaze flicks down my body. In response, my core tightens. “Are you sore?”
“I don’t know why you’re pretending to care,” I bite, and dry amusement flickers across his gaze.
He readjusts, and my hands press further into the wall when his lower half brushes against mine. For a striking moment, I feel . . . him pressed against my stomach before he readjusts.
Last night comes flooding back to me, and warmth travels down my spine. It’s madness, considering how this will only end one way. I’m nothing more than a distraction for him. Eventually, he’ll get tired of me and leave me alone.
I’m merely enticing now because it’s something new. He practically hates me, yet, for some sick reason, he wants me, and that pisses him off. Even if he won’t say it, there’s a part of Levi Cross that can’t ignore me any more than I can ignore him.
“I couldn’t care less. I won fair and square.”
Rude.
“Oh, so fucking me was a challenge?”
“Perhaps . . . I always did love giving to charity.”
What. A. Dick.
I shove at him, but he doesn’t budge, and I’m this close to stabbing him with my bare fingers, if that’s even possible.
“Little Ava, so afraid to live her life. Tell me, is that why Mendez is so fascinated with you? He thinks you’ll be easy to control?”
“His name is Alex,” I correct, looking at his lips. It’s a mistake because I can’t stop thinking about the way they felt against my skin just last night. “Don’t you have something better to do? Like steal virgins in the night?”
His lips tip up in a smirk, and he inches even closer
“I’d love to hear how you lost your virginity. I have a feeling you weren’t inviting some little frat boy to chase you through the woods?”
“Still thinking of last night? I thought you weren’t interested?” I breathe, accidentally looking at him for a split second.
Unfortunately, it’s long enough to send a shot of desire through me.
My entire body is humming with approval at having him in my space while my mind races a mile a minute trying to combat the shame of wanting a man so inestimably that it’s burning through my veins.
“Mmm . . . I find you very interesting, baby girl.”
My heart flutters uncontrollably; my stomach drops to my toes.
“Pity. You must have fallen and bumped your head if you think anything between us will ever happen again.”
A twinkle of something dark and repressed flashes across his gaze, before it’s replaced with a calm clarity that stirs something unsettling in me.
Stepping forward, he aligns the front of his body to mine, his knee pressing between my legs, and I let out a quiet gasp, trying to shove him back.
I may as well be fighting with a brick wall because he doesn’t move.
His lips curl into a snarl, and I can feel his erection digging into my stomach.
God, this man is insane. Any one of his family members could walk in, and here I am, practically grinding against his thigh in the kitchen.
“There will come a time when you will learn not to play these little games with me, Ava. I’m not the good guy you want to pretend I am. I’m not pining after you. I’m not waiting around for you to fuck me. You are nothing more than my prudish little housekeeper. Last night meant nothing.”
Alarm bells scream in my head, telling me to run, but my body begs to drag him closer. Beg for more friction, the brush of his hands on me, anything to quell the raging inferno in my blood.
There’s a breath of silence where neither of us moves. Both of us lost to the feeling of each other’s bodies, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say the hardness pressed against me proves he’s not at all indifferent to my effect on him.
In a bold move on my part that surprises even me, I reach between us, cupping his erection through his jeans, and force myself to meet his gaze.
“This is all I need to know you’re lying.”
His jaw tenses so much I fear for his teeth. I brush my thumb over his length—his overzealous length, might I add—and his nostrils flare.
And then I let go of him, place both my hands on his chest, and shove him back with all my might. The air is cold where his skin was touching mine, and I ignore the goosebumps pebbling on my flesh.
Levi glares at me. Or maybe he’s looking at me in awe. Honestly, with him, they look almost the same.
“Oh, and a word of advice,” I say, pausing in the doorway to the kitchen with my bowl of pasta in hand. “The next time you decide to chase a girl through the woods and fuck her, maybe bring a condom. I’d hate for you to have to deal with the consequences of your own actions for a change.”