32. Levi
LEVI
I ’ve officially lost my fucking mind.
“What’s wrong with The Beatles ?”
“Nothing if you like boring shit.”
Ava smiles and swats my arm. I catch her hand and bring it to my mouth, nipping the pads of her fingers.
I can’t deny I like the way her eyes light up when she laughs. Fuck, every time I look at her, it’s hard to look away. I’ve caught myself staring, and I don’t know if she’s noticed or not, but I feel like a fucking creep.
How could I not stare?
She was handcrafted to perfection. Like she was made for me. Soft waves cascade down her back like rich, molten chocolate. Perfect ass underneath my sheets. Pretty green eyes boring into my soul with a lightness I haven’t seen from her in a long time.
The once timid, broken girl I’d chased in the forest behind this house is learning to stand up for herself. It’s like watching her come alive for the first time since I met her. She smiles more. Laughs more. She meets my gaze.
She’s less of a ghost and more of a deity, and every day I’m finding it harder and harder to ignore this innate desire to make her mine. Forever.
I can’t, of course, but . . . the thought’s there. Fucking festering.
Her fingers trace over the lines of my tattoos, where she lies on her stomach beside me. I don’t mind coming home to this place every night, so long as she’ll be here, ready to take the edge off.
I know, I know. It’s toxic.
She’s replacing the liquor, and the irony’s not lost on me that I’m fucking addicted.
“What does this mean?” she asks softly.
I smirk, looking down at her fingers.
No one’s asked me that question in a long time.
“I got it when I was seventeen. It’s Latin.”
She peeks up at me, her fingers stalling.
“So, what does it mean?”
“It was a dare.”
She fixes me with an amused look.
“It’s something vulgar, isn’t it?”
“It’s supposed to mean ‘go fuck yourself’.”
To my surprise, she grins, shaking her head.
“I should have known. I wonder how many people have thought it was some profound statement.”
“Probably a lot more than I care to admit.”
“I always wanted a tattoo,” she says with a shrug. “But I’m too indecisive.”
“Tattoos don’t have to have meaning. It’s just skin.”
She’s quiet, her brows knitted together in thought.
“I always admired my mother’s tattoo when I was a kid. It wasn’t perfect. Just a heart with a ribbon surrounding it. But it had my name. Ava Lynn . . . I don’t know. It just felt special.”
“When was the last time you spoke to her?”
She stares at me for a moment, her eyes sad.
“I can’t remember. It would have been years ago, at this point.” She gives me a soft smile that makes my chest ache. “Since she left me with Gran to go ‘find herself’, our relationship hasn’t been the same.”
“So did she?”
“Did she what?”
“Find herself.”
She chuckles under her breath. “Yeah, she found herself in Bob and Tim and Domingo. Oh, and some man they called Cookie. Whatever the hell that means.” She falls silent for a moment, toying with a loose thread in the comforter wrapped around her.
I slip down the bed, draping an arm over her.
I just fucked her, but the moment her eyes meet mine, soft and warm, I want her again. Just having her in my space fucks with my head. It’s never enough. The moment I’m done, I’m already thinking about getting her back in my bed.
I don’t want to admit it, but there’s something about having her tangled up in my sheets, moaning my name, and clinging to me like I can bring her salvation that makes me think about all kinds of crazy shit I shouldn’t.
Like how to keep doing it for the next fifty years while still keeping her at arm’s length so she doesn’t see the real monster hiding behind my eyes.
Like in those moments where it’s just us, she’s mine, and the world’s not trying to rip her away from me at every turn.
“I’m jealous of you, you know?” she says softly.
“Why would you be jealous of me?”
“Because you have siblings. I was an only child,” she says. “I used to dream about having a big family, big Christmases. It was always just Gran and me . . . I envy you.”
I brush a lock of hair back from her eyes. Without my grandmother, I’m alone.
“Family’s not always all it’s cracked up to be.”
Her brows knit together, her eyes full of sadness. I stroke my hand down her back and over the smooth skin of her ass, ignoring that look in her eyes.
“You never told me why you lost your job,” she says finally, her voice soft. “Sorry, left your job . . .”
I sigh, looking down into her eyes. I almost lie, but something tells me this is one truth I can give her, so I do.
“I left my job because they made me choose between them and helping Christian save the only person he’s ever loved.”
“Mila?”
I nod once, brushing the hair back from her face.
“It was family or my career. I’ll always chose family.”
She’s silent for a moment, processing what I’d said. I notice the way her brow furrows at the center like it always does when she’s thinking hard about something.
“Who said what, Ava?”
Her brows knit together.
“What do you mean?”
“Today. What made you come find me?”
She blushes a deep shade of scarlet. “Maybe I just wanted to suck your dick.”
The dick in question twitches, remembering her on her knees for me. I’ve been waiting for her to want it. Fucking dreaming of the day when she would willingly get on her knees and fully give herself over to me.
“While I’m flattered, I also know you better than that.”
Her smile fades, and she continues to run her fingers over the tattoos on my chest. Like if she doesn’t look at me, she won’t have to tell me the truth.
“You know I’m going to find out one way or another. I always do.”
She lets out a sigh, pursing her lips.
“I tried to talk to Alex today. You know, because I haven’t spoken to him all week.”
I hate that little fucker.
“And?”
She shrugs as if it’s nothing. “He found out about our contract. He called me a whore.”
I grit my teeth so hard they threaten to snap. Scratch that. I loathe that little fucker, and the day I throw him off my property will be the day I celebrate.
“Don’t look like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re thinking about killing him.”
I cock a brow, brushing the hair back from her face. I’m so fucking irritated, I want to leave this bed right now, and dogwalk him off a cliff for daring to say something like that to her.
“Thought’s crossed my mind.”
She sighs, rolling over onto her back.
“He’s not wrong,” she muses. “I mean, I am technically your employee who’s sleeping with you. I left him and came straight up here and climbed in the shower with you.”
“Ava—”
“And what does it matter, anyway? Maybe I am. I mean, I agreed to have sex with you for money.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I snap.
She pauses, her gaze narrowing on mine.
“Don’t be rude.”
“No, you don’t be cynical.”
Her jaw feathers, and she looks away.
“He is right,” I tell her, reaching for her chin.
Looming over her, I turn her face to mine, searching her gaze.
She’s hurt, but she’s trying to hide it.
“You are my whore.” She bristles at my words, her eyes shining in the fading light in my room.
“You’re also someone I can laugh with. Someone I can talk to—more than anyone else.
” You make me want to be better . . . “You may be my whore, Ava, but only because you want to be.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” she grumbles, and I push her back, sliding over her to rest between her legs. Taking each of her hands in mine, I raise them above her head, pinning them to the mattress beside her head.
“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with you half the time, but I know you mean a whole lot more to me than I ever planned.”
She swallows thickly, and a shiver rolls through her. I roll my hips into her because even though I came twice, it’s never enough.
It will never be enough.
“I know,” she whispers, and I can feel her heart beating fast against my arm.
“Don’t let someone who’s not even fit enough to lick the bottom of your shoes tell you who you are, Ava. Not me. Not Mendez. Only you get to decide that.”
She smiles softly, reaching up. She brushes her thumb over the scar on my lip, tracing it. I want to nip the pad of her thumb, but I don’t, forcing myself to hold still.
“When are you going to learn there’s so much more to you than you believe?” she whispers, and apprehension fills my chest.
She shakes her head, but I cut off whatever else she was about to say, pressing my lips to hers. It’s different from what it usually is. Sweeter. Deadlier.
“Stay,” I whisper against her lips.
“Okay.”
The path that leads through the trees behind Cross Estate is a favorite of Ava’s. She walks it every day on her break, but today, I’m taking it instead.
I’ve been watching him all week. Since he called my girl a whore, he hasn’t so much as pissed without me knowing about it. There’s something about him. Something that makes me uneasy. Like he’s the closeted cut your skin off and wear it as a skin-suit type.
I don’t want him anywhere near her, and today, I’m putting a stop to his little obsession .
I’m walking down the path when I hear a stick snap to my left. Immediately, my hand shoots out, wrapping around his throat and practically lifting him off his feet, where he just emerged from behind a tree.
“Hey, buddy. Fancy meeting you out here.”
I shove him back into the bark with a thud, my hands fisting in his collar.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he grits, trying to shove me off. Unfortunately, he’s a whole hell of a lot weaker than I am.
“I think I should be asking you that. Is there a reason you’re sneaking around, trying to catch my girl alone?”
“Your girl?” he scoffs, jerking in my grasp. “You don’t give a fuck about her. Don’t pretend like you do.”
“Is that so?”
“You only care about yourself and getting your dick wet. Ava means nothing to you. I heard all about your little contract.”
“Ah, sneaking around my house often?” I step closer, lowering my voice. With each passing moment, his cheeks grow redder and redder, and I love that I’m getting under his skin. “Tell me, Alex. Have you heard the way she comes undone for me?”
“Fuck you,” he growls under his breath.
“Have you listened to her beg for my cock and wondered what it would be like? To have her on her knees for you, willing to do whatever you ask because she wants you that badly?”
My fists vibrate with rage around his collar. I want to snap his neck for what he said to her. I want him crying in a puddle of his own urine for trying to catch her alone.
“What were you going to do when she came down the path? Hmm, Alex? Going to beg for her to give you a chance? Tell her how bad you miss being eternally friend-zoned by the girl you practically pant after?”
“Let me go,” he grits, attempting to shove away from the tree.
I press harder, knocking his head into the bark behind him. Whoops. I’m sure it killed a few brain cells. I’m not sure how many he has left.
“Let’s get one thing straight, Alex,” I murmur, keeping my voice low.
Deadly. Alex actually shivers, his jaw clenching tightly.
He looks around us, but the idiot doesn’t realize Ava’s actually at home getting ready right now, for us to head into town.
She won’t be taking a walk today. “The next time I catch you fucking with my girl. Waiting for her. Speaking to her. Hell, if you even breathe her name while you’re fucking your own pathetic hand .
. . I’ll be there. Decide if it’s worth it. ”
He doesn’t respond, glowering at me like an insolent teenager caught sneaking out at night.
—So, I knock his head back into the tree again.
“Understood?”
He nods, and I release him, watching him fall to his knees and catch himself in the moss. Pity. I was hoping he’d land on a rock.
“You’re fired.”
“You think you can threaten me, Cross?” he sneers when I start to walk away. “People know where I am. My family will come looking for me.”
I turn back to watch him struggle to his feet, a low, dark chuckle slipping past my lips.
The fucker thinks I haven’t already thought of this?
“The funny thing is, when they do, there won’t be anything left for them to find.”