39. Levi
LEVI
A s gently as possible, I slip my arms under Ava and lift her from the car. She’s still trembling from the last orgasm I gave her when I carry her into the cabin, bridal-style.
“I can walk,” she says softly, but I pretend I don’t hear her and hold her tighter, not willing to let her go.
It’s only been ten minutes, and yet I feel like I’m fucking starved for her touch.
Me .
Starved for the touch of another person. I don’t know what the fuck she’s doing to me, but I’m powerless to stop it. This need I’ve grown accustomed to for her body was never really that at all.
All this time, I’ve been madly fucking in love with this girl, and fighting it every step of the way.
“What are we doing?”
“We’re going to shower, and then we’re going to bed.”
Outside, the snow is falling, but the fire is still warm in the fireplace inside. It’s dark now, and we’re both too exhausted to talk things out tonight.
I set her on the bathroom counter before turning on the lights.
She winces from the brightness, and my eyes rake over the damage.
She’s got three hickeys on the side of her neck.
Her lips are red and swollen, and her hair’s a tangled mess, but she’s never looked more beautiful than she does right now when she peeks up at me through her clumped lashes.
Turning away from her, I cross the room and turn on the shower. Steam fills the room, and Ava shivers from her spot on the counter when I step up in front of her.
“I look like I was fucked by a tornado,” she grumbles out of nowhere, and I can’t fight the laugh that rips free. Ava looks at me like I’ve grown an extra head. “Are you feeling okay?”
I slip her shirt over her head and toss it to the side before I move to her jeans and sneakers.
“Okay, brat.” I hold out my hand to her, and for a moment, I think she’s going to deny me. “Ava, get your ass over here.”
Something soft crosses her delicate features, and she slowly slips her fingers in mine, letting me help her down from the counter.
I let out a sigh of relief and lead her towards the shower, letting her get in while I finish undressing.
Ava crosses her arms over her chest, standing under the warm water, her eyes latching onto my abs when I slip the shirt over my head.
I chuckle darkly under my breath. Some things never change.
“Like what you see, baby?”
I expect her to look away, but for the first time since I’ve known her, she lets her eyes travel over me. Like she’s devouring me.
Fucking hell, that’s hot.
“Careful, baby girl,” I taunt, climbing in the shower behind her. “You’re going to start giving me ideas.”
“You just made me come half a dozen times, and now you’re getting hard, again,” she points out, and I shrug.
“Want me to make a full dozen?”
She shakes her head and bites her lip to hide her smirk, but there’s something else there. Her eyes fall to her toes, and I catch the tear slipping down her cheek.
Fuck.
“Hey . . .” I reach for her chin, tilting her face to mine. Her eyes are bloodshot, and tears cling to her lashes. “Talk to me.”
“I just . . . I’m sorry for not listening to you.”
My chest grows tight with the sob that wracks through her body. With a sigh, I pull her from the wall and press her against me. She shivers in my arms, so I hold her tighter.
“That man . . .” She tries to pull back, but I don’t release her.
“I’ll handle it, Ava.”
“But—”
“Don’t worry about him.” I catch a stray tear with my thumb. “He was going to hurt you, Ava. It can’t go unpunished.”
She shudders at the darkness in my voice. “What are you going to do to him?” she asks quietly, pulling back enough to look up at me. I brush her dark hair back from her face, my thumb brushing over her lip.
“Nothing you need to be a part of.”
“I can handle it, Levi.”
That’s the problem. I know she can. I can’t.
My girl is soft. Gentle. I’m rough and jagged. I can’t watch that softness turn to stone. I’d rather take a bullet first.
“Why didn’t you tell me? About that night?”
Fuck. I feel like she’s sand slipping through my fingers. The tighter I try to hold onto her, the faster she falls.
She swallows hard, her tongue darting out to lick her lips.
“Because it wouldn’t have changed anything.” She glances down, and when she looks back up at me, her eyes are swimming with tears. “Does that make me a bad person?”
Cautiously, I lean into her, running my nose up the side of her throat, and despite the warmth of the water cascading over us, she shivers.
“Nothing about you is bad, Ava Ryan,” I whisper against her ear.
She stiffens, but she doesn’t pull away. I don’t know why, but whispering it makes saying shit like this a whole lot easier than having to look into those pretty green eyes and say it aloud.
When I pull back, there’s a look I can’t place in her eyes.
I swallow past the burn in my throat and pull her under the warmth.
“One day at a time, baby.”
“Don’t call me that,” she mumbles, her cheeks flaming red.
“Why not?”
“Because it makes me feel things I shouldn’t.”
I’m so surprised by her answer that my voice gets caught in my throat. My blood roars to life, and my cock twitches.
Suddenly, I’m thinking about all kinds of stupid shit. My ring on her finger. Her carrying my baby. She and I in bed every night and coming home to her every evening.
It can’t happen, but fuck if the fantasy isn’t tempting.
My hands take her hips, pulling her closer to me, and the water covers us both. I dip my head, my lips only inches from hers, and we share each other’s air.
I kiss her, drinking her in. Before the kiss can go too far, I pull back, forcing some distance between us.
I just fucked her seven ways to Sunday, and yet, I could keep going.
There’s no limit to my desire for her. To feel her coming undone underneath me.
It’s maddening, but who the fuck cares? She stole my sanity a long time ago.
I reach for the shampoo on the ledge, and she shivers under the warm spray, letting it coat her cool skin. Motioning for her to turn around, I lather up my hands and take my time washing her hair, reminding her of everything I can’t say out loud.
“Mmm . . .” she moans while I massage her scalp.
“Baby, you’ve got to stop that.” She blushes when she realizes my cock’s hard against the small of her back again, but I notice the small smile tugging on her lips.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m sure you don’t.”
Once her hair is clean, I condition it. When I’m finished, I move on to her body, washing her. When I’m satisfied, she reaches for the shampoo and repeats the process for me, though it’s much harder for her to reach my hair, and I have to stoop down for her, making her laugh under her breath.
The sound hits me right in the fucking chest, and I have to remind myself not to stare at her too long because it’s like staring into the sun. Eventually, you’ll get burned.
There’s nothing sexual in the way we clean each other, and it strikes me that this is the first time I’ve taken care of another person like this.
There’s this heaviness in my chest that refuses to leave and a desperation in the pit of my stomach that’s got me ready to give it all up if she’ll agree to stay.
Strangely, there’s also the desire to do this again and again. Take care of each other.
When we’re done, I help her from the shower and dry her off before brushing out her hair.
She yawns at her reflection, watching as I work the knots out of the dark strands. When we’re done, I take her hand and pull her back out into the cabin and to the bed.
Sleepily, she lets me pull her to the bed and under the covers, her head resting on my chest like she’s afraid to put too much weight down. Tonight is no different than the last three weeks, but at the same time it is. There’s something . . . more.
She stares at me, her eyes studying mine.
“Are you okay?” she asks finally, and though there’s a sinking feeling in my gut telling me to run in the other direction, I force myself to meet her gaze head-on.
I reach up and brush the hair back from her face, my chest tight, and when she looks up at me, I’m overwhelmed with shit I’ve never felt before.
Her hand comes up to my cheek, brushing over the bruise forming there from the one punch the bastard was able to land on me tonight.
“I . . .” Fuck. Why is this shit so hard? “Let’s go to sleep.”
She’s silent, her breath catching, and her lips parted ever so slightly.
Leaning forward, I lay my forehead against hers, closing my eyes.
I take her hand in mine, holding it up to the moonlight. She’s so much smaller than I am that her hand looks childlike next to mine.
“One day at a time,” she whispers, before she falls asleep.
“Yeah,” I murmur, dread filling my chest. “One day at a time.”
The man wakes with a scream that could break the sound barrier.
“There he is,” Christian mutters, smacking the side of his face to wake him up.
Dale, who I suspect is shitting himself right about now, stares up at me from where he hangs upside down.
“What the fuck?” he slurs, still drunk off his fucking rocker from where Christian found him in the alleyway.
I have a feeling he’ll be sobering up pretty damn quickly when he gets a look at what’s waiting for him below.
“Good morning, princess,” I greet, letting him sway from the rope attached to the tall tree overhead. “Sleep well?”
“You’re that whore’s boyfriend?”
“Wrong choice of words, bud,” Christian chuckles darkly, stalking over to the other end of the rope.
It’s a pulley system. The more he lowers his side, the higher mine goes. The opposite is also true, but a whole hell of a lot more fun.
“Oh, I’m a whole lot more than that.” Kneeling beside him, I allow him to get a good look at my face. The one that’s going to make him pay for all the shit he did to my girl. “Do you know why we’re here, Dale?”
“That little fucking bitch,” he spits, his face getting redder and redder by the second. “I promise she’s making shit up. I just wanted to help her.”