14. Christian
CHRISTIAN
M ila Carpenter somehow always manages to find herself in danger. Or maybe danger finds her.
Either way, she’s going to be the fucking death of me.
Following Rudy and Paulina’s departure, we spend the next four days in near silence, avoiding each other as much as possible and fixing shit around the island.
Mila sticks to the indoors, cleaning up the years of dust and animal debris. When she’s not, she’s walking the island. I stay outside, tending to the holes in the roof, replacing broken lights and otherwise, finding anything I can fucking do so I don’t have to spend any more time than is absolutely necessary in her intoxicating cloud of honey and vanilla and soft fucking smiles that makes think irrational shit.
I’ve jacked off more times than I can count in the last week, and while that would usually be enough, it just pisses me off and leaves me feeling like a fucking creep, dreaming of a girl who can’t even stand to look at me half the time, let alone be in the same room with me.
She wants to hate me. I know she does. She wants to pretend like she’s not just as drawn to me as I am her, but she can’t hide the pretty little blush on her cheeks when I catch her staring at me. How her gaze lingered on my abs when I stepped out of the shower in just a towel the other day.
She can’t hide from me , and she hates it.
Whether she’s in Los Angeles, Wichita, or at the bottom of the fucking ocean, she’s mine. I’ll fucking find her.
She’s my obsession. My own personal brand of heroin, created to ruin me.
From the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew I was fucked. There’s always been this deeply rooted part of me with the need to protect her, even if I didn’t understand it at the time.
Now, that time has come, and even if she doesn’t understand my need for revenge, she will someday. She’ll hate me for it, but we don’t all get happy endings.
Least of all, Mila and me.
“I’m going into town.”
“When will you be back?” Mila asks quietly from her place on the old couch. I’m surprised she got it as clean as she did.
“A few hours. You have everything you need, and if there’s an emergency, I left a cell phone on the table.” I hold up my hand when her eyes light up. She didn’t think I’d be stupid enough to leave her an actual phone, did she? “Don’t get excited. It only contacts me.”
She purses her lips, opening up her book again.
“I think I’d rather take my chances with whatever mongrel comes knocking.”
Little brat.
“Suit yourself.”
She doesn’t respond, choosing to ignore me instead.
It’s probably for the best.
I start towards the door, but her voice rings out behind me, causing me to stop.
“How are you getting there and back? A quick walk along the bottom of the ocean? I heard vampires don’t need to breathe. You know, because they’re not human.”
“The gate works just as well.”
Her eyes widen around the edges before they narrow to slits.
“Before you get any ideas, I also have the only key and it’s ten feet tall”
Her lips purse and I grin.
Yeah, nothing to say to that.
“Need anything while I’m out?”
She returns to her book. I notice she’s rereading Bailey’s most recent release for the second time. I’m just glad Paulina was able to find it.
“A bullet.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” I mutter dryly, stepping out and slamming the door shut behind me.
When my phone rings, I’m just pulling to a stop in front of the path that leads to the island. Looking down at the name that pops up on the screen, I debate on not answering, but I figure I’ve let her suffer enough.
“Hello?”
“So, now you answer,” she scoffs, and I can almost feel her roll her eyes from here. “Why are you avoiding me?”
“I’m not avoiding you.” I’m avoiding everyone.
“Bull. You know I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for weeks?”
I do know. In fact, I’ve pressed the ignore button on every single call. The last time I spoke to her, I was sitting outside one of Mila’s little homes away from home, watching a man try to break into one of the cars parked out front. That was two months ago.
“Levi’s avoiding me. You’re avoiding me. Dad’s dying . Did you all forget we have a business to run?”
Guilt washes through me, and I scrub a hand over my face. My sister’s the middle child of the Cross siblings and, consequently, the one who got stuck running the lodge since our father fell ill. Not that she doesn’t love it, but the lodge is huge, and Bella’s always been one for dramatics.
Still . . . I should be there. At least for moral support. Especially with our dad lying in his suite, dying of the cancer that’s infected his body.
Bella—not one to be silenced—continues to read me the riot act.
“Do you know how hard it is to run this lodge? People constantly asking question after stupid question. And guess what? I have to have allll the answers, because if I don’t, then everyone’s mad at me.”
“You’re right.”
“It’s like you’re just figments of my imagination, and I’m losing my mind, and let me tell you, Christian Cross, no one likes a psycho in the hospitality world. . . wait . . . What?”
“You’re right, Bella,” I sigh, looking out at the lights of Shipwreck Island. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there.”
I can tell she’s surprised because she actually falls silent.
“Oh . . . well . . . I know I am,” she says with an air of aloofness in her tone. I stifle a chuckle. Sometimes, she reminds me so much of our mother; it’s uncanny.
“What about the Founder’s Day banquet? Are you at least coming to that?”
“I’m not a founder.”
“Christian,” she groans. “You can’t make me go through that alone. You know I hate Founder’s Day.”
“You’re in charge. Why not just skip it?”
“Because it brings in a ton of revenue, which, in case you forgot, we need. Or do you want to have to get a real job again?”
“I have a real job,” I reply.
“Oh, really. And what is it? Another six years in LA doing God only knows what?”
“Yak grooming in Southern Montana,” I reply without missing a beat, and she scoffs. I can almost hear her roll her eyes. “You should try it sometime.”
“Yeah, I’ll take your word for it.”
“I’ll take your word for it. You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you guys are hitmen.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You really think Levi could keep it a secret for this long?”
Our brother, the middle child, has a knack for running his mouth about anything he thinks will land him in a woman’s bed. I have a feeling, being a hitman, would be one of those things.
“Fine,” she grumbles, falling silent on the line.
“Bella?”
She lets out a shaky breath. I know she’s lonely. I know she hates that we left her at home to handle the lodge on her own. I also know she’s well taken care of and protected there.
“He’s dying, Christian . . .” she says softly, and I can hear the tears in her voice.
“I know.”
“You should see him. Before . . . his mind is completely gone.”
I grit my teeth, my hand tightening on the phone. Seeing my father is the last thing I want. We’ve never gotten along, especially after my mother died.
He was always a dick. Harsh and demanding, even when Mom’s death was fresh. He was hardest on Levi, but I think it’s just because he knew he couldn’t control me and that, eventually, I grew too big for him to hit. That’s when he turned to my youngest brother, and I regret not killing him when I had the chance.
Now, he’s a husk of who he once was and not even able to go to the bathroom by himself, let alone hit anyone. He’s just a decrepit old man, dying alone in his overpriced bed in the lodge my mother’s father built from the ground up while Bella runs things there. Getting his ass wiped by a nurse who hates him and couldn’t care less if he died tomorrow.
Where Mom was a bright, shining light in our family, Dad was the darkness that snuffed that light out.
I guess my biggest fear in life, if I wanted to be truthful, is turning out just like him, so I do whatever I can to never have to face that version of myself.
I’m not sure I could live with it.
“I’ll see what I can do,” I murmur. “I’ve got a few things to finish up before I come home.” As soon as Mila’s not waking up in a cold sweat every night .
Bella is as far removed from both Levi’s work and mine as humanly possible. Not that I’ve been working. I haven’t worked a real job in an entire year because I’ve been too busy chasing after the little blonde brat who waits for me beyond the water.
I guess it does pay to be a billionaire’s son, sometimes. Even if I don’t want anything to do with the money or the lodge that reaped it.
“Christian . . .” Bella starts, concern in her voice. “I want us to be a family. A real family.”
“We are a family,” I reply, even if I know what she means. “I’ll always have your back. Even if you don’t see it.”
“I want us to be a family that spends time together.”
I look across the water, watching the steady flicker of the lights in the cottage window.
“We will be. Soon.”
She starts to argue her point, but I cut her off.
“I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you soon.”
I hang up before she can respond, gritting my teeth while I start the car back up. Lead fills my chest at the thought of another silent night, sitting in front of the fire until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. Watching . . . Waiting . . . while the little blonde upstairs cries in her sleep.
If she knew what I’d do for her, she’d be fucking terrified of me. Maybe I should tell her. End this dumbass idea in my head that I can ever give her what she fucking deserves.
Unfortunately . . . I’m not that selfless.
And I’m fucking obsessed.