6. Katy
6
Katy
O kay, so that happened. I’ve managed to go all this time without a nip slip. Why now? I went through months of feeling like a dairy cow, nursing on demand, raw nipples, and Viktor never saw anything, at least to my knowledge. One random panicked morning, and I lose my ever-loving mind and apparently my tit.
When Owen is done nursing, I let him out of the room to eat. I watch from the crack of the door to make sure Viktor sees him. When he scoops him into the highchair, I decide to take a quick shower.
I know I rely too much on Viktor. I’m supposed to be raising Owen as a single mother, but in reality, I’ve never been one. I’m single in the aspect that I have no significant other, but I had six extra sets of hands when I lived in the big house, and here I have Viktor.
Having him here affords me the luxury of sleeping in or showering whenever I want to. I’m more than grateful for everyone in my life, and I’m fully aware of my privilege in that aspect.
When I’m done in the shower, I quickly get dressed in an oversize green t-shirt and black capri leggings. Today is Tuesday, and two days a week, I work at a preschool. I take Owen with me and Viktor, the Viking broods in the hallway outside our classrooms.
No one wants me to work, but I’m nineteen and a mother, and I can’t have my pseudo-parents paying for everything despite all of their protests. It’s not a lot, just enough money to make me feel like I’m contributing to my life, and it gets me out of the house for a few hours a week.
Stealing my resolve, I enter the living room and smile at the two boys in front of me. Viktor is sharing sausage slices with Owen, who is happily grabbing each piece from a fork.
“Morning.”
“Morning,” Viktor replies without looking at me.
“Mama!” Owen’s excitement is contagious. He saw me fifteen minutes ago and is still excited to see me. “Kay-kays.” His little fist offers me a smooshed pancake, and I pretend to eat it from his hand, making him giggle.
“I need fifteen minutes to get ready, and then we can leave,” Viktor says with no emotion.
He still isn’t looking at me. I can see how my morning will go.
“Take your time. We don’t have to leave for a while.” I peek out the front window and see several cars still at the big house. “I think Owen and I will walk up to see everyone, and you can join us when you’re ready.
“I’ll walk you.”
I exhale an exaggerated sigh. “I can walk up the driveway without an escort. I’m not a child.”
“Pep—”
“I can walk. Up the driveway. Alone.” I pick Owen up from the highchair and disappear into his room, locking the door behind me. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to will the prickly feeling of tears to subside. Owen wiggles, and I slide down the door, releasing him when my butt hits the floor.
It feels like everything is one step forward and two steps back with Viktor. My mind can’t bridge the gap between the day and night man. Every morning, I wake up thinking today is the day he won’t let his guilt consume him, and we can go back to the easy-going relationship we had before the accident. Hell, even during his recovery.
We spent hours on the couch watching movies and playing board games while he recovered. He became my best friend.
He got cleared to return to regular activity around the same time Owen was born. I don’t know if it was the all-clear or Owen’s birth, but he flipped a switch and became this grumpy, overprotective asshole.
I’ve lost so much in my lifetime, and having Viktor go from being my best friend back to my bodyguard and nothing else, hurts.
The tears silently fall as I get Owen ready for the day. Maybe I can visit Nicole after work and spend time alone without him. Being Spencer’s best friend, Justin’s house is one of the only places I’m allowed to be unsupervised by Viking Vik. Justin takes the security of his wife, Nicole, and their two children, Hannah and Miles, very seriously. I’ll text her a little later. If I do it now, someone will contact Viktor, and then I’ll have to deal with him all morning being even grumpier. He hates when I’m out of his sight—big oaf.
When I open Owen’s door, the shower is running. I pause, wondering if I should tell Viktor I’m leaving, but decide I’m too mad to care. Grabbing the diaper bag off the hook near the front door, I take Owen’s hand and leave. I know when he gets out of the shower, he’ll have a notification on his phone from the security cameras of movement outside. That’s me. I’m the movement. He can watch and see we got to the house safely because we do.
Coffee. That’s the smell that invades my senses the moment I open the back door onto the three-season porch of the big house.
“Everyone descent? Little eyes coming in.”
“Come on in, Katy girl. Where’s my favorite little guy?” Axel pulls down a mug for me from the cabinet before crouching and lifting Owen into the air.
“Morning, Owen. Are you having a good morning? Are you taking care of your mama?”
“Ac-el.” Axel’s face beams at his name. He leans and kisses the top of my head, saying morning to me as well. I know I come second seat to Owen around here, and I’m perfectly all right with that. I’ll never complain that someone puts my son first. Everyone here has helped me raise him as much as I have.
“Who’s home?” I don’t know whose cars are in the garage, if any.
“Everyone. Have you eaten? I’m about to make biscuits and gravy.” He looks behind me, most likely looking for my shadow.
“We ate, and we left him in the shower. I needed a break.” He nods in understanding. I’ve expressed the whiplash the man gives me, but after this long, even I agree that no one could protect Owen and me better than Viktor can. I’m not going to give up self-preservation over some peace and quiet.
“Everything okay?”
I open my mouth to respond, but we’re interrupted by laughter in the other room.
“Katy and Owen are here,” Axel calls as a warning to whoever is coming our way. Miller and Lincoln come in, both wearing nothing but pajama bottoms. A look at Axel shows the same attire, only he has a tank top on.
“Did I miss the memo that it’s PJ day? Shouldn’t at least some of you be getting ready for work?”
“Hey, Cupcake.” Miller throws an arm around me and kisses my temple.
“Off, off, range recertification.” Miller points at himself, then Axel, and then Lincoln on the last word.
“So, a lazy morning. Got it.”
Lincoln kisses my cheek and stops in front of the coffee pot. “Coffee?”
“Yes, please. I haven’t had any yet.”
“Uh oh.” Miller looks out the back window to the pool house. “Trouble in paradise?”
Lincoln hands me my coffee, and I flop onto the stool at the counter.
“There was a little mishap this morning, and it turned Mr. Grumpy into Mr. Steel Wall.”
Axel sits next to me with his own mug and smiles. “This sounds juicy. I want all the gossip.”
Once again, I open my mouth to tell him about my morning when we’re interrupted. Owen runs out of the room, and we hear an “oomph.”
“Katy. What are you doing here?” Tucker comes into the room, holding Owen in his arms. Unlike the other three men, Tucker has on jeans and a t-shirt.
“Oh, look. Someone knows how to put on clothes.” Tucker’s brows furrow as he looks around the room at everyone’s state of dress.
“Katy was about to give us some juicy gossip. Sit and listen.” Axel is all too invested in my morning woes.
Tucker kisses my cheek and passes Owen off to me, who immediately throws himself at Axel. Owen loves all of them, but Axel is the biggest goofball of all Spencer’s guys, and he has a special relationship with Owen.
“Well, now that the gangs all here…” I’m not embarrassed to tell them what happened. Nothing can embarrass me with any of them. It’s the fact it’s Viktor that has me hesitating. “Viktor saw my boob this morning.”
The room is quiet. No one is saying anything. Why aren’t they saying anything? Shit. Maybe I shouldn’t have told them.
“Oh, good morning, Katy.” Spencer enters the kitchen, and no one moves. She looks around the room, confused. “Is something wrong? Why do they look broken?”
With my elbows on the counter, I rest my head on my fists. “It’s my fault. I told them I had a nip slip with Viktor this morning.”
“Just this morning? I’m surprised that hasn’t happened before. You breastfeed and live together. It was bound to happen.” Spencer is logical as always but, ugh.
“We don’t live together,” I protest, but there’s no conviction behind it. He lives with me . At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
“There’s a difference between seeing your breast and a nipple slip. Which one was it?” Tucker finally speaks up, breaking the stale air of their stares.
“Well, I had a tank top on, and ol’ lefty was just flapping in the breeze.”
Axel bursts into laughter next to me, breaking the tension in the room. He clasps my shoulder and takes a few breaths before speaking.
“Well, that explains why you’re here so early in the morning. You’re running.”
“I can’t just want to come see my favorite, overbearing people in the morning?”
“Nope.” Miller pops the P, grabs Lincoln’s hand, and heads toward the stairs. “Love you, Cupcake, but I have to get my man ready for work.” Miller stops in front of Spencer and presses his lips to hers. “Morning, Smithy.” He leaves the room with a smiling Lincoln and a breathless Spencer.
“I need more details of this incident this morning.”
“Uh oh, Daddy Tucker is taking charge,” Axel teases. With one look from Tucker, Axel slides off the stool, kisses him on the cheek, and retreats from the room. I can’t help but chuckle at their relationship. It’s obvious of the four men that Tucker is the most dominant of them but there isn’t a hierarchy in their relationship when it comes to outside the bedroom. Inside is a different story. I’ve had many conversations with Spencer about their bedroom dynamics. I never ask for specific details, but it’s fun to hear who’s in charge sometimes.
“I wore a tank top to bed last night, and apparently, one flopped out while I was sleeping. I panicked when I woke up and saw Owen wasn’t in his crib. I ran from my room without thinking and found him with Viktor, who informed me I was giving him a show.”
“So it was an accident.” A wave of relief washes over Tucker’s face, and for some reason, it annoys me.
“You know, I think I’ll head back to my house. Thanks for the coffee.”
Spencer shoots Tucker a look, and it’s obvious he doesn’t understand the reason for my reaction. Do I?
“Katy, did I—”
“Yes. You did. You know I’m a woman, right? I’m nineteen, and I have a child. I’ve never dated anyone. I’ve never had a real first kiss. The look of relief on your face when you realized I didn’t intentionally show Viktor my breast was…was…ugh! Frustrating. What if I wanted to show him my boobs? What if I wanted to strip naked and show him all of me? I have that right as an adult. I can kiss whoever I want. I can show my body to whoever I choose. You aren’t allowed to look relieved that I get to stay sweet and innocent in your mind.”
A throat clears behind me, and why wouldn’t it? I’m sure Viktor heard my entire rant.
Fuck it. I’m seizing the day.
I jump off my stool, charge over to Viktor, and with a last glance at Tucker, I ball my hands into Viktor’s shirt, pull him down, and plant a kiss on his lips.
There’s nothing special about the kiss. Our lips don’t move. There’s no swapping of spit between our tongues, but the electric feeling exchanged between us is charged.
“Katy,” Tucker’s warning voice booms behind us. I pull away and pat a dazed Viktor twice on the chest.
“Have a great day, Tucker. Viktor, please grab Owen, and I’ll meet you in the car.” I pick up the diaper bag that I left on the porch and power walk my way back to my house.
All of the bravado I had a few minutes ago drains as I watch Viktor and Owen make their way toward me across the lawn.
What did I just do? What did I do ?!
Viktor opens the back door and secures Owen in his car seat before getting into the driver’s seat.
“Viktor. I’m—”
“We aren’t going to talk about it, Pepper.” Every nerve in my body wants to protest, but I know that tone. He’s seconds away from chastising me like a petulant child if I try to force the conversation. I don’t blame him. I deserve it. I acted like a toddler throwing a tantrum, took an already sticky situation, and made it worse.
“I’m sorry.” I let the words rush out in a hushed whisper. I don’t care if he hears it or not, it needs to be said.
I’m sorry that our first kiss was done out of petty frustration and not lust and passion.