12. Katy
12
Katy
H e didn’t…he just…left. I deflate on the bed, trying to figure out what happened. Should I go after him? No, I’m pissed off. Everything we did, I asked for. How could he just leave?
Against my will, all my emotions stream down my cheeks. The biggest one is anger, followed closely by regret. Regret that I gave him something he obviously didn’t take as seriously as I do, but I understand that’s a me problem.
I don’t know when I drifted off to sleep, but as my alarm rings, I feel the weight of my swollen eyes. I contemplate staying in bed since I have no reason to get up, but I like to keep a schedule with Owen. Peeking at the monitor, I can already see Owen stirring. He’s used to the schedule we keep.
I quickly jump out of bed to grab him before he wakes too much and freeze when I remember I’m naked. Flashes from last night smack me in the face, and I gasp.
Get it together, Katy. You’re bigger than this. You’ve survived worse. Walking into the bathroom, I quickly relieve myself and grab the bathrobe off the back of the door. I tiptoe into the living room and see Viktor is still asleep. He’s usually up when I am, but I’m thankful he’s not.
Owen is rolling in his crib, playing with his bunny, when another wave of emotion hits me. Why did I choose that as a stupid safeword?
Owen smiles at me as I change and dress him, remembering to grab an extra outfit to put in the diaper bag. When we’re ready to leave the room, I cross my fingers and say a little prayer to the universe that I can creep back into my room and leave the house before Viktor wakes.
Make it to my room-Check.
I put on a burgundy, flowy dress and sandals in record time. Owen follows me into the bathroom, where I throw my hair up into a messy bun and try to conceal the bags under my eyes as best I can.
“Come on, buddy. Let’s go see who’s home at the big house.” I scoop up Owen and tiptoe to my bedroom door. “Can you be quiet for Mama?” He smiles, which isn’t exactly an answer, but he probably doesn’t fully understand me either.
I open the door with trepidation and keep Owen’s back to Viktor. He’s somehow still asleep. Walking backward, I make it to the front door. I grab the diaper bag from the hook and shove Owen’s extra clothes in it before slinging it over my shoulder.
Leave the house without waking Viktor-Check.
I glance over my shoulder before closing the door, and stormy blue eyes stare me down.
Not check.
I hold his eyes for a moment before closing the door. My shoulders deflate as I hold Owen’s hand, and we walk across the lawn.
Was he awake the entire time and avoiding me like I was him?
My phone vibrates, and I pull it out, hoping it isn’t Viktor.
Babs: I’d love to meet my beautiful grandson soon.
Seriously? Not that I even want to talk to my mother, but any morning other than today would have been preferable. She doesn’t have a right to call him her grandson. She gave up her rights to me, therefore forfeiting her rights to claim Owen as her family.
She reaches out about once a week. I know she’s trying to wear me down, and it kills me to admit that it’s working—slowly, but it’s working. I never knew my grandparents. Hell, I barely know my mother. But, although I’m angry, I’m not cruel. She sounds like she’s trying. I haven’t answered any of her texts, but sometimes, she gives me updates on her life.
The house is quiet when I walk in. I put Owen in his high chair, and he gives me the sign for milk.
“Mik, Mama. Mik.”
Shit. In my hasty retreat, I didn’t sit down and breastfeed him.
“Buddy, do you want milk or waffles?” Axel loves frozen waffles, and so does Owen, so I know they’re in the freezer without looking.
“Faffle.”
I lean down and smack several kisses on his cheeks, making him giggle. “Okay. Mama will make some waffles.”
While his breakfast is in the toaster, I make a pot of coffee and cut up some strawberries, trying my hardest not to think back to last night’s devastating disaster. I wish I knew what went wrong.
When the toaster pops, a large hand reaches around me and snags a waffle, and I stiffen.
“Linca,” Owen yells, and my body sags in relief.
“Morning, Katy. I was wondering why I smelled coffee.” Lincoln kisses me on the cheek and grabs two mugs from the cabinet and a sippy cup for Owen. “What’s little man drinking?”
“Whole milk if you have it.”
“Of course. Always for Owen.” He looks around the room, and I’m surprised he’s just now noticing. “Where’s your shadow?”
I shrug, and he looks out the window to the pool house. I know he’s seeing the car still there, so he knows Viktor is somewhere nearby.
“Trouble in paradise?”
If Viktor and I didn’t regularly butt heads, I might have read more into his question. Unfortunately, me showing up here with Owen solo isn’t an unusual occurrence.
“Something like that.” I can tell he wants to ask more questions, but he knows me well enough to know I’ll talk when I’m ready.
I give Owen his breakfast and pop in more waffles. Picking up my mug, I gingerly sip my coffee and lean back against the counter, a myriad of questions swirling in my head.
“Linc, can I ask you a question?”
“Anything.” He leans on the island across from me. I know he had a hand in the hiring process of Viktor. Justin consulted with him to find the right person to guard me.
“Why Viktor?”
He stares at me for a moment, studying my face.
“That’s a loaded question. Can you be more specific?”
“Why did he get picked out of all the other candidates? What made him more qualified? He’s so young.”
His lip twitches. “He was one of the least qualified actually.”
“That’s…interesting. Then why him?”
He thinks for another moment as the toaster pops. We each grab our waffles and sit at the table.
“I take it, if you’re asking, then he hasn’t told you? Has he shared anything about himself in the last three years?”
I think back to everything he’s shared with me and realize it hasn’t been much. He’s an only child. He was in the military, though I don’t know what branch or why he no longer is. I just learned his entire leg is covered in a tattoo.
“Not much, apparently.”
“Maybe you should be asking him these questions.” He eyes me patiently, waiting for me to spill the reason I’m here.
“We aren’t exactly speaking right now.”
“I’m all ears when you’re ready to talk.”
“Up. Uppie.” Owen wiggles his hands, showing the “all done” sign. I clean him while pondering if I can share with Lincoln without judgment. I wouldn’t talk to Tucker or Spencer. Axel would high-five me, then tell me he’s an asshole, and he’ll come around. Miller doesn’t often get mad, but I think this is something that would enrage him.
“Linc? Can I talk to you as a friend and not a father figure?” While none of them have taken over the official role of Mom or Dad, their dynamic has. “I need a judgment-free, levelheaded conversation.”
“Do you need friend or cop? Do I need to prepare to kick some ass?”
His hand closes into a fist, and I rest mine on top of it.
I chuckle at his reaction and shake my head. “Judgment-free. I’m an adult, and as much as you want to protect me, I just need a friend.”
Lincoln closes his eyes and takes a cleansing breath. His fist unclenches, and he turns his hand over and laces our fingers together.
“What’s going on, Katy girl?”
I go over some of the events from last night, and he listens, like I expected he would, with little emotion and few questions. His only tell that he’s affected by some of my words is the slight clenching of my hand in his. I’m talking to him about sex. I know it’s probably hard for him to hear, especially since this exact tragic act is how Lincoln and I connected.
“I don’t understand why he ran out, and I have all kinds of feelings that I can’t put a finger on because they’re swirling everywhere. I need…I’m not even sure. Answers? Advice?”
“A frying pan?”
We stare at each other before bursting into laughter. The tension that built during my story dissipates. Lincoln releases my hand and stands.
“I’ll wash you dry? I need to be doing something to get through this.”
“Of course.”
I turn on some cartoons for Owen and meet Lincoln back at the sink, dry towel in hand.
“You asked me a question earlier. Why was Vik hired? While I didn’t and still don’t feel it’s my story to tell, I think you need some answers because right now, all you have is questions.”
Lincoln’s phone chimes in his pocket. He pulls it out, types a message, and returns it to his pants. He tests the water temperature and picks up his first dish to wash.
“Vik worked in private security, which is how Justin got his information. As I said, he wasn’t the most qualified, but his circumstances made him uniquely qualified to protect and watch over you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Just listen and dry.” He hands me a plate and smiles.
“Did you know he was dishonorably discharged from the Marines?”
I shake my head, and my forehead scrunches. Dishonorably ? What had he done?
“Vik was planning to be a career military man. He was moving up the ranks quickly, and one day, he wasn’t.” I open my mouth to ask what happened, and he hands me another dish. “Dry and listen.”
“Okay. Okay.”
He chuckles and continues. “Vik assaulted his Commanding Officer.”
I gasp and almost drop the coffee cup he handed me.
“His CO had been accused of raping a fellow female Marine, but there was no proof. It was her word against his. Vik overheard him at a bar bragging to his friends about the lock of hair and her panties he had kept. The woman was a friend of Vik’s, and he reacted without thinking.”
His friend was raped? That’s what Lincoln meant by Viktor was uniquely qualified.
“Vik served no jail time because the female Marine’s items were found where the guy was bragging he hid them, but his career was over. Despite what his CO did, he was still superior to Vik.”
“Wow. So that’s why Justin hired him?”
“Yes. He still has an exemplary record, but after speaking to him, we knew he could and would protect you to the best of his ability.”
“He doesn’t think he did. He blames himself a lot for the night in the rain.”
Lincoln sighs as he grabs another towel to dry his hand off. “I’ve seen that. Are you leaving anything out about last night? He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy that would regret a decision like that. He’s been a patient man when it comes to you.”
“Seriously? Has everyone seen it but me? You all just let me live in my own little bubble of ignorance?”
“What did you want us to say? ‘Hey Katy, your bodyguard has a crush on you. Want to live out your romance book fantasies?’”
“Eww.” I shove his shoulder, and he barely moves. Tossing the towel on the drying rack, he crosses his arms and leans against the counter.
Did I leave anything out? I did. One minor detail, but I didn’t think it was a big deal.
“We…” Lincoln looks at me expectantly. “We didn’t use protection. He was caught up in the moment and didn’t realize, and I didn’t care to stop him.”
“Katy.” He says my name with accusation and drops his hands to his sides. “Did you talk about any of that first?”
My head slowly shakes side to side.
“Okay. I get it now.”
“Care to share with the class, Professor?”
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and swipes on the screen several times.
“Come on. I’ll walk you back to your house.”
“No. Wait. What? Why?” I don’t understand. I haven’t gotten any answers yet, and now I’m being sent home.
“Because our time is up unless you want everyone down here. I can’t hold them off any longer, and Vik is chomping at the bit to make sure you’re okay.”
“What?” I look around the bottom floor. No one is down here but us.
“Vik texted the group chat earlier to make sure you were here, and I requested everyone stay upstairs. You looked like you didn’t want a crowd.”
My chin drops to my chest. There are definite downfalls to this wonderfully big family that adopted me.
“I’m not ready to face him, and you haven’t given me any answers.”
“You need answers from him, Katy, not me.”
I sigh heavily, and he places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. We both look up when we hear footsteps upstairs. “You’re keeping them from their caffeine. The natives are getting restless. Come on, get the diaper bag.”
Lincoln picks up Owen from the couch, blowing raspberries on his belly. He’s giggling when they return to the kitchen.
“Let’s go.” He takes my hand with Owen’s in the other and leads us to the back door.
“Fine.”
Each step we get closer to my house fills me with dread. Lincoln stops mid-walk and turns to me.
“Okay, so here are my thoughts, and they are just my own, so you still need to talk to him. Vik is an honorable man. You said you were both drinking last night—”
“But we weren’t drunk. I’m aware of every decision made. I could have stopped him and said something, but I was okay with it for that one time.”
“And that right there is the reason he’s upset.” Huh? What reason? “ You were aware of every decision, but he wasn’t. Can I make an assumption that last night was your ‘first time’ since…” He uses air quotes when he says “first time” because we all know Shane took that from me.
Owen tugs at Lincoln’s hand, wanting to be let go to run free. The pool is completely fenced in, so Lincoln let’s go. The worst that can happen is a scraped knee on the driveway.
“Mama, buf-fy.” Owen runs off giggling and chasing after a blue butterfly.
“It was.”
“Talk to him and give him time. I’m sure, somewhere in his mind, he’s comparing himself to Shane.” I try to protest, and he holds up a hand, stopping me. “He’s not him. We know that. Trust me, we’ve all talked about you two. If we had any concern, he’d be gone.”
“Why does everyone think they can meddle in my love life?”
He arches a brow at me. “Love life?”
I shove at his chest to move him along. “It’s a figure of speech, and you know it.” He chuckles and puts his arm around my shoulders as we walk closer to the house. “I’m not ready to face him. I still have too many emotions about it that I haven’t figured out yet.”
He stops and turns us so each house is to our left and right.
“One man,” he points to my house. “Three overbearing men and Spencer.” There’s no contempt behind his plain description of Spencer. She’ll tell me exactly what she thinks, and I usually love it, but I don’t think I can handle that right now. Everything is too raw.
I point to my car because it is mine, I just don’t ever get to drive it. “Or there’s four wheels?”
“My dear, are you trying to flee without your bodyguard?”
“Could you blame me right now?”
Lincoln chuckles. “No. Escaping seems like the lesser of those evils.” He looks to his house, where we can see movement on the back porch. They really wanted their caffeine. “You’re trying to get me in trouble, aren’t you?” Lincoln squeezes me into his side.
“I wouldn’t say no to a little trouble.” I wink at him, and he groans.
“Where would you go if I let you leave alone with the car right now?”
“Hmm. The Bahamas sounds nice.”
“Of course. The most natural choice. It’s a good thing we got those inflatable tires put on last winter. They’ll work nicely, floating you across the ocean.”
“Please.” I fold my hands together and give him my best puppy dog eyes. He’s close to caving. I can feel it.
“Can we compromise?”
I’m so close to freedom. “Whatcha got?”
“We’ll watch Owen, and you can go out without a bodyguard if you take Miller and Axel.”
Hmm. No kid and the goofballs. That does sound like fun. But…
“Counter offer. You keep my kid, and I’ll take one of yours.”
He tries hard not to laugh but loses, and we both end up doubled over.
“Is that your final offer, Katy?”
With confidence, I say, “Final offer.”
“I think I can live with that. I know Axel will love it. Do you need to grab anything from your house before we go back?”
“Nope.”