39. Katy
39
Katy
M y social battery is low, and I wish I had canceled on my mother. Hanging out with Meghan, Blake, and Nicole was exactly what I needed last night, but today, I could use a day of cuddling and movies.
Between the stress of having Shane show up at my work, getting the text, seeing the video, and then the nightmare, I have nothing left to give, but I’m not heartless, and I know my mother is looking forward to our meeting today.
I look over at Viktor and smirk. He sees me and gives me a knowing glance.
“What’s so funny over there?”
“You. You look…different.” Knowing that he’s going to be crawling around on the floor with other kids, he’s wearing a more casual outfit than usual. A light blue t-shirt hugs his sharp angles and curves of his biceps, and I see some definition of his abs where the seat belt has pulled his shirt tight.
“I’ve never seen you in shorts.” My eyes drift over his khaki cargo shorts and follow his tattoo down his calf as it disappears into his sneakers.
“I’m a person, not a piece of meat, Pepper. Stop drooling.”
“You make it extremely hard, Viking.”
Viktor clears his throat as he not so subtly adjusts himself. “No, you make it extremely hard, Miss Katy.”
His eyes flash to Owen in the back seat and back at me. I don’t know if it’s sexier that just my perusal of his body made him have to adjust himself or that he thought to look back to see what Owen was doing at that moment.
“So, your mother is meeting us there, and you are both going to sit in the stands and watch, correct?”
“Mood killer,” I huff. “Yes, that’s the plan.”
Viktor gives me a knowing smirk before reaching over and squeezing my thigh.
“I haven’t forgotten that I need to return the favor from last night. Don’t worry.”
I place my hand over his and lace our fingers together. “You better not.”
Viktor glances in the rearview mirror. “Patrick is going to wait outside in his car. Do you think you’ll let Babs meet Owen?”
I don’t know the answer to that yet. For so long, I was adamant that she never have anything to do with him. The longer I’m a mother, the more I can’t understand how she treated me the way she did for all those years. But I also know people can change, and I don’t ever want to look back and not be confident I didn’t give her the chance she deserved to at least try.
“I’m leaning toward yes. If she’s still there at the end of the hour, then assume it’s okay for them to meet. If I’m uncomfortable, I’ll ask her to leave before it’s over.”
I already asked her to arrive ten minutes after the class starts. She understood my reservations, and I’m glad she respects my boundaries.
“That sounds like a good plan.” Viktor squeezes my hand, and I appreciate his support on this matter. He could have easily tried to talk me out of today, especially after yesterday. He knows how much my independence and being able to make my own decisions means to me.
As toddler tumble time begins, I sit nervously waiting for my mother to arrive. I chose a seat closer to the back of the viewing area but still close enough that I can watch Owen, and she can see him when she gets here without being directly in Owen’s line of sight.
I absentmindedly rub the soft ears on Bun-Bun. Owen loves this class and doesn’t mind putting down his favorite toy as long as I hold it for him and promise to keep him safe. Feeling the fabric under my fingers stops my leg from bouncing and my eyes darting everywhere looking for her. I shouldn’t be this nervous to see my mother.
“Katy.” I stand at my mother’s voice and almost drop Bun-Bun.
“Shit. I mean, crap. I mean…hi mother, Babs.” Get it together, Katy.
“Hi, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to startle you. You were deep in thought.”
My mother looks as nervous as I feel. Her eyes dart between the gym floor and me. I can understand her nervousness. I yelled at her the last time we met, and allowing her to even be in the same room as Owen is a big step for me.
“Sorry. Have a seat.” I motion to the empty chair beside me, and she smiles and joins me.
She looks out into the gym, and I wonder if she can pick Owen out. When her face lights up, I realize she’s spotted him. I remember she’s met Viktor before, and that’s probably how she figured out who Owen is.
“He’s beautiful, Katy. He looks just like you.”
“He does.” I don’t know what else to say. Owen looks like me. It’s a fact and one I’m thankful for.
“Katy, I’m sorry I overstepped the last time we met.”
“Let’s just forget about it.” I grip Bun-Bun a little tighter, and my mother watches my every move.
“Okay. Sure.”
“Babs, are you okay?” Her eyes snap to mine and she looks…guilty, defeated, worried?
“Of course I’m fine. I wish you wouldn’t call me by my name. I’m your mother, Katy.”
“Not anymore.”
Her face turns red, and I want to feel guilty for my comment, but it’s true. In the eyes of the law, she is no longer my mother; Spencer is. She gave me away.
“Katy, that’s not true. I gave birth to you. I will always be your mother.”
“No.”
“No?”
“No. You’re correct. You gave birth to me. That’s it. It doesn’t make you my mother. I’ve found more love and support from my newfound family in the last three years than I ever did in the sixteen years you were my mother.” I use air quotes around the word mother because I no longer consider her in that role.
She opens her mouth to speak, but a jingle comes from her purse, and she reaches in and takes out her phone. For just a moment, her face falls before she composes herself again.
“I’m sorry you feel that way, Katy.” Her entire posture changes, and she stares out into the gym. I don’t think she is watching Owen. She seems to be looking at nothing. I want to tell her to leave. I don’t think her meeting Owen is a good idea. Not today, anyway. I don’t want to make a rash decision, though. I need to calm down before I decide anything.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom. Please stay here and don’t get any closer. Viktor won’t allow it anyway.”
She looks back at me, panicked for a quick moment. I stuff Bun-Bun into my purse, not wanting to leave him alone with her.
“Is that the one I gave him?”
It takes me a moment to understand what she’s talking about, then I remember she gave Owen a bunny identical to his comfort animal.
“Oh. I’m not sure. He has several that are the same. I’ll be back.” I look into the gym to see if I can catch Viktor’s attention and let him know where I’m going, but he’s engrossed in the foam pit on the far side and isn’t looking my way.
“I’ll wait right here.” She pulls her phone out of her purse as I walk away, and I hope she doesn’t get any ideas of taking pictures of Owen.
The bathroom is at the back of a long hallway. This building is a large warehouse sectioned off for gymnastics and parties. I walk into the bathroom and go right to the sink. I don’t have to actually use the bathroom; I just need a moment to breathe and compose my thoughts. In the last few years, I’ve done a lot of work to get out from under her thumb and her belittling thoughts of me. Being in her presence for only a few minutes has already frazzled the edges of my finely curved corners.
I wash my hands and smooth my hair out in the mirror.
“Don’t let her get to you, Katy. You’re stronger than her. You can get through this and then send her home.”
The bathroom door opens, and I step back from the sink, not wanting anyone to hear my pathetic little pep talk. I look up and freeze at the reflection staring back at me in the mirror. A tall man with eyes almost as black as night gives me a devilish grin.
My body remembers him. Both of my encounters with this man have been in this exact position. He’s always behind me. When he raped me in the alley, he had me on my knees. When he grabbed me in my car, it was from behind, but it gave me the opportunity to bash his nose with my head. I notice the slight crooked slant to it, and a moment of pride washes over me before he takes a step forward, and fear crawls into every crevice of my body.
“I’ve waited a long time to get you alone again, my sweet, sweet Katy.”
My body physically convulses at his voice. It’s as thick as honey and smooth as silk, but I remember the allure it had on me the first time and know it means danger. I’m at the back of the warehouse, and no one will hear me even if I scream.
What are my options?
Viktor doesn’t know I’m back here because I didn’t tell him before I left. Why didn’t I tell him? My mother knows, but she couldn’t care less where I am.
“It’s just us back here. I covered my tracks. Are you going to come with me quietly? I have a car waiting just outside the back door that’s conveniently located right outside this bathroom.”
I can’t just walk out of here. I have to fight. I didn’t fight the first time he had me alone, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him take me now. I’m not the same scared little girl I was in that alley.
“I can see in your eyes you want to do this the hard way. Maybe this will change your mind.” Shane pulls his hand out of the front pocket of his black hoodie and points a gun in my direction. I’m not as afraid as I once was of guns, but that doesn’t make having one pointed at me any less scary.
“Wait. What do you want?”
“Not you, but you’ll get me what I really want. I want my son, Katy. You’re just a means to an end.”
He takes a slow step forward, and I step back, bumping into the sink.
Shit.
A smile slowly creeps up his lips, and the chip in his front tooth becomes visible. I’m trapped, and he knows it. The already small room feels like it’s closing in on me.
Control your breathing, Katy. You don’t want to pass out and make it easy on him.
He takes another calculated step forward but slightly to his left, blocking the exit more. It’s a testament to his police training. Close off any exits. I may be his perpetrator, but I’m also his victim right now.
Maybe if I can stall long enough, someone will need to use the bathroom.
Another step forward, but I have nowhere to go. I need to fight, but Shane is playing offense right now and has the advantage. He wants Owen, and I’m the key. I have time to make a smart decision, and right now, that might be letting him take me wherever he needs to.
Slowly, I raise my hands in surrender.
“That’s a good girl. I want you to take your phone out of your pocket and toss it on the ground. Can’t have any of your daddies following us before I get my boy.”
Bile threatens to rise from my throat as he refers to Owen as “his boy.” I pull my phone from my front pocket and drop it on the floor. He steps forward and smashes it with the heel of his foot.
I see a moment of distraction and kick his knee to the side, making him stumble. The gun tumbles from his hand and slides across the tile floor in the opposite direction of the door. I think for a split second too long about running toward the door or the gun. When I decide the door is my best option, I only make it a few steps.
Firm hands push me forward and grab my ankle as my knees slam against the floor. Pain radiates up my legs, and I cry out but quickly bite my tongue to contain the sound. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of my pain. I kick out my feet, trying to shake him off as I attempt to crawl my way toward the door.
A metallic sound rings in the air, and Shane’s furious voice seeps into my bones. “Stop, Bitch. I have a knife to your Achilles tendon. If I slice it, you will be completely immobilized and in a world of pain. Do you want to continue to fight?”
“Fuck.” I drop my arms to the floor and sprawl out in surrender.
I tried. At least I can say I tried.
Shane doesn’t release me as he stands. Pain sears through my head as he grabs a handful of hair and pulls me to my feet. He yanks me further into the bathroom until he reaches where the gun slid. Shane squats, taking me with him, and my head bends at an odd angle, wrenching my neck.
I hiss at the pain and stumble as he pulls me to the exit. Panic rises again as I realize he’s about to take me from the building. The few scraps of safety I felt quickly fade as we leave the bathroom, and Shane pushes the emergency door open without an alarm sounding. He puts his hand in his pocket, and the trunk pops on the black sedan.
“No. No. No!” I try to scream and flail as a last-ditch effort before he takes me, but it’s futile in the empty alleyway, and we both know it.
“Shut up.” I hear the smack and the instant pain on my cheek just before I’m shoved into the trunk. I’m still dazed as zip ties bind my wrists and tape is placed over my mouth just before darkness falls over me when the trunk is closed.
I contain my internal urge to pull on the restraints. I need to conserve all of my energy. I have no idea how long I’ll be in this situation, and I want to be able to fight for as long as I can.