20. Austin
Austin
H er screams would stick with me for the rest of my life.
They would continuously shred a hole through my heart, chopping it into pieces and laying them at my feet—just to rub in the shame that I’d done such a shitty fucking job keeping her safe.
“McKenna.” I’d repeated her name six times.
Maybe ten. I lost count through the hope blaring in my mind that she’d answer.
All I heard was a faint creaking and an off-beat clicking.
Everything else was silent. Her voice didn’t caress my ears with some snide remark that she was fine.
The familiar, faint sound of her chewing didn’t filter through the speaker.
But despite the quietness, I didn’t have the heart to hang up.
What if she woke up and called for me and I wasn’t there?
She’d be so fucking scared.
Fuck, she had already been scared.
I shouldn’t have let her drive home from work.
I shouldn’t have fallen asleep earlier in the day.
There were so many things I shouldn’t have done, and once again, because of those things, this was my fault.
She’d be safe if she had been with me. I’d have killed the fucker following her before they even had the chance to read her license plate.
I’d done my fair share of speeding down these roads. Of breaking the law and getting away with it. But none of those times compared to now. There were no limits I wouldn’t go to for McKenna.
She would not die. Not on my watch.
And maybe that was because I had grown to feel more for her than I’d originally planned. Hooked from the first time we met, sure. But obsession quickly turned into a heart-pounding ache in my chest every time I was away from her.
Not only that, but I refused to let another woman in my life die because I was helpless to change their fate.
I lived my life with a lot of regrets, but McKenna would never be one of them. I wouldn’t allow it.
So I stayed on the line as long as I could, gunning it down the road toward her because she needed me.
And I needed her. Her voice. Her sweet, strawberry scent. Her blinding smile. The cute little eye roll she did when I annoyed her.
All of it.
Three blocks from Wagon Road, I passed the only other vehicle I’d seen out here—a truck with a blinding light bar. But I didn’t stop to follow them to see if they were the one who drove McKenna off the road. The only thing on my mind was her. Revenge could come later—and it would.
Seconds passed before my headlights illuminated twin black streaks on the faded asphalt, and I moved my boot from the throttle to the brake, coming to an abrupt stop on the shoulder.
The brush lining the road was obviously recently disturbed, given the clear path of broken branches and torn-up leaves and dirt.
I didn’t waste a second as I jumped out of the truck and bolted for the edge. It wasn’t steep enough to be considered a cliff, but it wasn’t an easy slope, either. And right at the bottom sat two dim lights.
McKenna’s car.
My heart threatened to escape through my throat as I reached for the nearest branch and slid down the embankment. My descent was anything but graceful, and once I made it to the bottom, I braced my hands on the trunk and rounded the car.
Smoke billowed out from the hood which was crushed against a thick pine trunk, a hiss of air coming from that general direction. I grabbed the handle for the driver’s door to keep myself steady. And when I looked inside?
My heart nearly split in two.
“McKenna.” Her name was a desperate plea on my lips, pained and choked, as I wrenched the door open. Twigs cracked, leaves crunched, and my stomach plummeted.
Blood dripped down the side of her head, half of her bright blonde hair coated red. My eyes jumped from one thing to the next. The seat belt eating into her skin. Her forehead pressed against the wheel. Her limp hands. Her phone pressed up against the windshield.
So much chaos in the span of a few seconds and I hadn’t been here .
“Never forgive me,” I whispered as I gently reached around her stomach to find the seat belt button. With my other hand on her arm, I pressed it, releasing her from the only thing keeping her upright. She immediately fell into me, not making a sound.
Her silence hurt worse than any words she could ever spew at me.
Tore me apart in more ways than if she were to drag a knife straight through my heart.
Carefully, I scooped her into my arms. Her head fell limp onto my shoulder, and I turned to eye the steep climb ahead of me.
“You will not die today, McKenna. Do you hear me?” I looked down at her, her features so slack, I wanted nothing more than to see that jaw work, to see that crease between her brows and her nose scrunching.
Something to tell me she was alive other than the subtle rise of her chest with every shallow breath.
Holding her closer, I began the trek up the embankment.
My boots slipped every few feet, my knees slamming into the rough ground as I refused to fall.
Eventually, I made it back to my truck. I didn’t want to set her down, but I couldn’t hold her on my lap while I drove, so I forced myself to ease her onto the back seat.
Once she was laying across the seats, I shut the door and got in behind the wheel.
I wasted no time booking it to the nearest hospital.
And hoping like hell I wasn’t too late.
Four hours.
That was how long it took from the time I ran through the front doors of the hospital to now, when they were finally allowing me back to see her.
Four hours of tests and trying to wake her and get her stable enough that they weren’t worried she would flatline.
Some shit about how I wasn’t family was their reason for keeping me away from her.
I didn’t mention that there’d been a threat on her life mere minutes ago.
All they knew was that she’d been in an accident.
There was no need to alarm the whole damn hospital.
Besides, if some fucker walked through those doors looking to finish the job, I’d know.
I was here now. She was safe.
But as I walked through the door to McKenna’s room and found an oxygen tube stuck up her nose, I lost the belief that I knew what I was doing when it came to her.
McKenna made me lose all sight of the life I knew, making her the axis my entire being rotated around. And when I thought I’d lost that only hours ago? My world crumbled.
She tried to hide the tears welling in her eyes, tried to look away and pretend she wasn’t affected by any of this, but she knew just as much as I did that she could let her walls down around me.
“Baby.” The one word was a whispered plea as I crossed the room to her and took her hand in mine.
With my other, I cupped her chin and gently turned her head to face me.
I scanned her hair—now pulled back from the wound—to find three stitches right at the edge of her hairline.
That, combined with the concussion and massive bruise across her chest, had me nearly breaking at the sight of her .
“Did they shave it?” she asked, voice wobbling, chin shaking.
I shook my head, meeting her gaze. “No, baby. You look as beautiful as always.”
Her mouth twisted into a frown as she bit down on a choked laugh. “You’re lying.”
“Never,” I promised.
“You’re being too sweet.” She bashfully looked away, like the eye contact between the two of us was too much for her to handle right now.
“Is there such a thing?”
“There is when you’re…” she met my gaze again, blue eyes shimmering even in the dim light, “you.” She sucked in a breath, trying to hide the wince when she did. “Maybe I hit my head too hard.”
I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Maybe,” I murmured. If shoving away this thing between us made her feel better, I’d let her.
“When can I go home?” she asked, and I was surprised they hadn’t told her already.
“In a couple hours.”
Her brows scrunched. “What time is it?”
“Just past two in the morning.”
“I was out that long?” A sort of quiet panic took over her features, like she was scared of the lost time in between the crash and now.
“Nothing happened while you were out, I promise. I found you after the crash and brought you straight here.” My hands flexed, heartbeat ticking up a notch with the need to obliterate whoever did this to her.
“No one walked through those doors with any ill intent toward you.” I leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to her temple.
“I will always protect you. And I—” I choked on the word.
Swallowed to clear the emotion. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there tonight. ”
“It’s my fault,” she whispered, tears spilling onto her cheeks.
“Baby, no.” I brushed away the drops with careful strokes of my thumbs.
“You may be stubborn, but I know how to be persistent.” I wanted to list all the ways I fucked up tonight.
All the holes in my chest where the thought of losing her stabbed me ruthlessly.
But this wasn’t about me. “You’re okay. You’re alive, and that’s the most important part. ”
“Does Brynne know?” McKenna didn’t seem to be good at talking about feelings, so her avoidance of where the conversation was heading didn’t hurt.
“Booker is…aware.” More like scouring every corner in Whiskey Ridge to find the truck I’d described to him over the phone three hours ago.
I hadn’t been able to call him right away.
Not with McKenna’s life teetering on the edge that first hour.
“He told Brynne a little bit ago. She’ll probably be storming through those doors any minute.
But, McKenna,” I shifted, squeezing her hand, “I need you to tell me exactly what happened.”
She inhaled, steeling herself for the inevitable rehashing of the events that took place between her leaving work and the crash.
And she did.
I held her hand the entire time.
Brushed every tear that slipped free .
Because my girl? She was strong. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t break, too.
After a lengthy visit from Brynne and finishing the breakfast she’d brought us, then spending what felt like hours checking out of the hospital, McKenna was wheeled out to my truck.
She’d tried to refuse it, but the nurse had insisted that, due to legalities, she had no choice.
Even I thought wheeling her out was a little overdramatic—I’d just carry her again if she needed it.
But her refusal wasn’t because she was trying to prove that she was well enough to walk.
No, it was because they’d mentioned a bill being sent to her insurance, to which she’d told them she had none, so it would be sent directly to her.
After that, I assumed she thought they’d charge her for the wheelchair.
She’d been stiff and quiet since that discussion, even after my telling her that I’d be paying the bill. She’d refused, of course, but like always, I did what I wanted.
“Pull in there,” McKenna said, finally breaking her silence to point toward a gas station on our drive back to her house.
“What do you need at a gas station?” I asked.
“Gum.” When I didn’t acknowledge her, she looked over at me with big, beautiful eyes.
Ones that threatened to kill me on sight if I didn’t give in to whatever it was she wanted.
I was beginning to realize I’d always give in to her demands—no matter how outrageous they were, like a bubblegum pit stop after she’d just been in a car accident.
“All of my belongings are still in my car. Austin, please. ”
It wasn’t that I refused to turn into the parking lot—I was already heading that way—it was that doing something as simple as running to the store to grab her a pack of gum to ease her nerves made my heart swell.
The feeling was foreign. I used to take pride in being an uncaring, flirtatious asshole.
Now? I took pride in McKenna giving me the honor of being in her presence, as reluctant as she was to it at times.
“Okay.” I flicked on the blinker seconds before turning into the rundown parking lot.
Potholes littered the pavement, trash blowing every which way along the ground.
As I parked, she went to remove her seat belt, but I covered her hand with mine, sending her a glare.
“You’re staying in the truck.” I removed my own seat belt, opened the door, and clicked the locks so when I closed it, it’d be locked. “Only unlock it for me. No one else.”
I could practically see her retort sitting on the tip of her tongue, but she held it back. “Strawberry,” she reminded me. “I hate the other flavors.”
“I know, baby.” I knew her favorite gum down to the brand, not only from seeing her pull out a strip now and then, but because I’d gone through her things solely to be sure I had the right type on hand at the ranch in case she ever needed some.
Closing the door, I went as fast as I could in the small store. I quickly grabbed a water from the fridge and a few packs of her gum at the register before ringing up and heading back to the truck. As soon as I appeared in the window, she clicked the button to disengage the locks.
Maybe my hope of her listening to me wasn’t completely futile, then .
After getting in, I unwrapped the thin plastic seal on one of the packs and slid out a piece for her.
I unfolded the edges, discarding the trash in the cupholder and holding the sweet-smelling slice of gum out to her.
But rather than her taking it from my hand, she leaned forward and held out her tongue.
Slowly—because I loved the sight of her mouth open for me—I lay the slice of gum on her tongue, watching with rapt attention as she closed her lips around the end and pulled it the rest of the way in.
Her jaw worked, cheeks moving, as she chewed.
And now my dick was hard.
How the fuck was I supposed to refrain from fucking the lights out of her while she was off of work for the next week? God knew I wouldn’t be leaving her side for the foreseeable future.
I was fucked.