Chapter 4
Insane Jasperreally wasn’t that bad. He sniffed me and touched me a lot, but it took away the discomfort of heat. So I really couldn’t complain.
After August and Elodie left, he led me to his kitchen, sat me down on the counter, and made pancakes for me.
Yes, pancakes.
One of his hands stayed on my leg almost constantly while he did, too.
I didn’t point out that it was probably after midnight at that point, if not already the next morning. It was still dark outside, even though I could see thanks to whatever Jasper had done when he bit me.
I was exhausted, but too overwhelmed by the situation I’d landed myself in to really rest.
We ate pancakes in silence, and when we were done, Jasper dropped the dishes in the sink.
Then he picked me up, and carried me to his bed.
“You need sleep,” he rumbled, brushing my hair from my eyes. The touch was bizarrely gentle, given that I still didn’t feel like I knew him.
“Alright.” I let him tuck me into bed and pull my back to his front, so he was spooning me from behind.
Admittedly, it felt nice.
Though I was still wearing my dress beneath his gigantic tee, I didn’t bring that up. Taking it off would require stripping, and considering the way he’d bitten the inside of my thigh, I didn’t think stripping was a good idea.
“Goodnight, Miranda.” His voice was low.
Sexy.
Sweet, too.
I had no idea what I was supposed to think or feel about it.
So I just whispered, “Goodnight, Jasper.”
I stared into the darkness for a few long minutes. His breathing evened out, and his grip on me loosened.
He was sleeping.
Letting out a long breath, I carefully pulled my phone back out of my bra. My boob was kind of sore after having the device stabbing into me for so long, but I didn’t care about that.
Vi had called and texted me, but I bit my lip and ignored the messages.
I’d figure that out in the morning.
Instead, I pulled up my texts with Elodie and typed out a quick message.
Me
Is it normal for a dragon to bite you?
She answered immediately.
Elodie
For a dragon to bite his mate, yes
It’s how they give us some of their magic. Improves our senses, makes us stronger, etc.
Me
So mated ladies don’t shift into dragons?
Elodie
Nope
The relationship between mates is kind of complex, though
August explained it to me as a codependent one. After a dragon meets his mate, he can’t fly without her on his back. Flying is everything to dragons. They spend most of their lives hiding away from human women just to avoid taking a mate.
My eyes widened.
Was she serious?
Me
So you’re saying I’m in bed with a beastly dragon who doesn’t even really want me right now?
WTF?
I could’ve used a warning
I’m the one who went over and sat by him!
Elodie
It’s not that simple
They don’t want mates, but when they’ve found their person, it’s pretty much impossible for them to walk away
Me
So I’ve jailed him
This just gets better and better
Elodie
Not JAILED
I’m sure he wants you now
Me
You are NOT helping
Elodie
Back to the mating bit
Dragon guys can’t fly without their mate on their back
Their mate goes through heat every month, though
If the guy isn’t there to take care of you through it, it’s just as painful as the original heat. Horrifically painful. If he’s there, it’s fun.
Me
Do you know of any supernatural who can send me back in time by chance?
Elodie
LOL
No
I did tell you to stay away from him, for the record
Me
Vi and Eli were fighting all night. It drove me crazy. He looked like the best way to get away from them, because they were leaving him alone
If I could go back, I’d suffer in silence
Elodie
Too late
Me
What am I supposed to do here?
Elodie
Try to look on the bright side?
You’re in bed with a gigantic, gorgeous dragon shifter who wants nothing more than to give you many, many orgasms over the next few weeks
Mate Mountain is beautiful. Jasper can take you out to one of the balconies in the morning
I’m picking up your work stuff as we speak, and I already told Vi that you got yourself stuck in a temporary mating bond, so you don’t have to figure out how to break the news
Me
You’re much more upbeat about this than I am
Elodie
Meeting August was the best thing that ever happened to me, Randa. Heat is shitty at first, but the bond is worth it
And if you don’t fight heat, there’s no pain. Just pleasure
Me
I think I need to go to bed. Feel like my brain’s going to explode if I keep thinking about all of this stuff.
Elodie
Okay
I’ll leave your things outside your door
If you hear August grumping about carrying your bags while he flies, ignore him
Me
I don’t want you guys to miss your honeymoon
Elodie
Already called and pushed the reservation back a few weeks
We’re not missing anything
Me
Alright
Thank you
Elodie
Of course. Love you
I sent her a heart emoji, then set my phone down on the bed and squeezed my eyes shut.
A few minutes went by in silence.
I usually didn’t have a problem falling asleep.
But I was in a strange bed, with a strange man’s arms around me, in a place I’d never been before.
And I was wearing a tight, uncomfortable dress under a gigantic t-shirt. Usually, I slept naked.
It didn’t help that I had been sweating on and off, either.
Or that I was still uncomfortably wet between my thighs.
I waiteda few more minutes before frustration defeated me.
I needed a shower.
It took some time to wrestle myself free from Jasper’s grasp, but eventually, I managed. I had to pause a few times to make sure he didn’t wake up, but I was officially invested in getting a few minutes to myself.
Padding across the room, I slipped into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I let out a long, shaky breath, and locked it.
It might piss insane Jasper off to find a locked door between us if he woke up without me, but he’d survive.
I wanted some space.
The shower was a tub/shower combo, so I stared at it for a few long moments before settling on a bath.
Baths were peaceful.
And I needed peace.
After turning on the water, I stripped out of the tee I had on. Getting the zipper down on the back of my dress took some real wrestling, but I managed that too.
The tub was half filled by the time I finally stepped in and sank down. It wasn’t large, so I couldn’t imagine the gigantic dragon shifter had ever used it. He probably wouldn’t fit.
My lips curved slightly at the mental image of Jasper trying to fit in the small tub, and it eased my stress a little.
Just a little.
I closed my eyes and leaned back, taking in a deep breath.
I was okay.
Everything was going to work out.
I’d figure it out.
I had to believe that, didn’t I?
My mind went back to the wedding. To the way Elodie and August had looked at each other. Laughed together. Held each other.
I’d wondered what that could be like.
Maybe heat was my chance to figure it out.
I couldn’t seal the bond, of course. I’d have to deal with the weeks of intense pain. It would suck, but I’d make it work. And they said Jasper would never demand more than I was willing to give him, so I’d be fine on that front.
A few weeks of pain in exchange for a lifetime of freedom for both our sakes wasn’t too much to ask. Jasper wasn’t sane enough to pursue the independence he really wanted, so I would have to do it for both of us.
I’d figure that out too, though.
There wasn’t another option.
Tipping my head back, I closed my eyes and rested it against the edge of the tub. The hot water I was in felt uncomfortable given the way my body kept heating up, but I was alright.
My mind continued to move, and I let my thoughts do their thing.
Technically, there was no reason I couldn’t live in Mate Mountain forever. Assuming worst came to worst, and we had to seal the bond, I would be fine.
I worked creating art for a company that made hundreds of special edition books every year. I’d signed a contract with them. There weren’t many jobs like mine—and I absolutely loved what I did.
But I could do that from Mate Mountain, assuming they had Wi-Fi. Considering my phone had service, it seemed like a safe assumption.
I would miss Viola like crazy if we lived apart, but if I was mated to Jasper, he could fly me back to Scale Ridge whenever I wanted to see her. It was a few hours away, but that wouldn’t be a big deal. August and Elodie were there too, so he’d probably want to visit from time to time anyway. And he had a sister there too—her name was Brynn. I’d met her twice, and she seemed really sweet. Elodie loved her.
So even if I couldn’t survive heat without sealing the bond, I would be okay. It would suck to live with a guy who didn’t want me for the rest of my life, but I could pick up my vibrator on one of our trips back to Scale Ridge. Maybe I could get my own room, too. We could be mates even if we didn’t fall in love, if we had to be.
That knowledge made breathing a little easier. It relaxed my shoulders, too.
The tension in my chest finally started to fade, and I found my eyelids getting heavier.
My muscles were starting to get sore, as well. And my body was more flushed by the minute.
Maybe it was time to make my way back to Jasper.
I made myself wait two more minutes before I finally got out of the tub, drying off and slipping into the t-shirt Jasper had loaned me. I didn’t like the feel of it on my skin when I wanted to be naked, but I’d get over it.
Hopefully.
I couldn’t stand to put the wet panties back on, so I didn’t bother with underwear.
The moment I stepped out of the bathroom, I paused just outside the doorway.
Jasper was sprawled out on his back, shirtless, and still wearing the jeans he’d put on earlier. His erection strained against the zipper of them, but his expression was calm.
Peaceful.
What was he like when he wasn’t insane?
What would he be like if we were actually mates?
Was he the quiet, thoughtful type?
Or the brash, take-no-prisoners kind of guy?
Would we even be compatible?
I didn’t know.
And I doubted I’d ever find out, considering neither of us wanted the bond we shared.
Shaking my head at the silliness of letting my thoughts get ahead of me, I went back to the bed and tucked myself under the blankets.
Sheesh, his shirt was way too big.
I was all but wrestling the fabric as I tossed and turned in my attempt to get comfortable.
Suddenly, a pair of warm arms were around my waist. Jasper pulled my back to his chest, and I let out a long breath as heat’s symptoms faded away.
I was okay.
Everything really was going to work out.
In the warmth of his arms, sleep pulled me under quickly.
My sleep wasn’t peaceful.
As soon as I closed my eyes, I was hit with dreams.
Intense dreams.
Dreams where Jasper’s face was buried between my thighs.
His hands were, too.
And his cock.
I was sitting on him.
I was on my hands and knees.
Pressed between him and that door again.
When I finally managed to pull myself out of the dreams, I was wet everywhere, and desperate for release.
A pair of hands slid slowly up the backs of my thighs.
A soft moan escaped me.
Maybe I hadn’t woken up after all.
My hips arched, grinding me against something perfectly hard.
The hands moved back down, and I groaned at the loss.
They slid up again, and I arched harder.
The hard thing against me was uncomfortably rough.
My hands found the button on a pair of jeans, and worked the zipper down after tugging it free.
Whatever was beneath me growled as I wrapped my hand around the hardness, and I paused for a moment.
I was still sleeping, wasn’t I?
The hands slid higher, stopping just below my bare ass and digging into my skin roughly. Not hard enough to hurt—just hard enough to make me want more.
I wrestled my eyes open.
They widened when I saw the gorgeous, massive dragon shifter below me. His flaming gaze was crazy intense.
His fingers dug further into the backs of my thighs, making me arch more.
His cock throbbed in my hand.
I definitely wasn’t sleeping anymore.
And he was…
Oh, boy.
I could hardly breathe, I wanted him so badly.
“Is this because of heat?” I whispered.
He didn’t answer.
He clearly still wasn’t sane.
His hands slid up higher.
Over the curve of my ass.
There was a look in his eyes—a challenge.
Jasper was giving me time to tell him no.
The word was on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t have the heart to say it.
I wanted more.
And I wanted it too much to turn him down.
He throbbed again in my hand. Harder.
I tucked his erection between my thighs, lowering myself over the length of him until he was exactly where I wanted him. Without panties on, the thin fabric of his boxer briefs was the only thing separating us.
It still felt like too much.
When I rocked lightly, he growled and squeezed my ass.
I moved again, and he snarled.
“This shouldn’t feel so good,” I said, a little breathless.
His grip tightened, pulling me against him harder.
He held me in place while he throbbed against me—and when he’d regained control a little, he moved my hips the same way I had.
I sucked in a breath at the sensation.
He rocked me again, and a sharp cry escaped me as I lost control.
My hips jerked, pleasure rolling through me harder and faster than I’d ever expected. Jasper’s flaming eyes were still hot when my climax faded.
It only took one look at his face to know he hadn’t shattered with me.
“You didn’t like that?” I panted.
His grip on my ass tightened, almost painfully. “It was the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”
Oh.
Well, that made me feel good.
The entire situation was insane, but I liked it. Maybe I even wanted more.
“Why didn’t you lose it, then?”
“This is about you.”
Okay, that was sweet.
It wasn’t what I wanted our… whatever we were… to be, though.
“If it’s about me, I want you to climax when I do.”
He closed his eyes for a moment.
A vein bulged in his forehead.
I rocked again, and he gritted out a curse.
He took control of my hips once more, moving me like he had before.
It should’ve taken a while for me to get back to the edge.
I should’ve needed a hell of a lot more than a little friction to set off another orgasm after the intense one I’d just experienced.
But I didn’t.
And soon enough, I was crying out as I came all over his cock again. He snarled, moving me harder. Rougher. Faster. Until his pleasure was all over both my core and those damn boxer-briefs, in a way that made me both sticky and a little proud.
At least I wasn’t the only one who lost control so fast, and with clothing still between us.
Both of us were breathing hard as our climaxes ended.
His grip on my ass tightened before it slowly eased up, and he let go.
My eyes met his, and I watched as awareness set in again.
He let out a long, pained breath.
Shit.
He didn’t even want me.
My pride vanished, and I eased myself away from him.
The sane version of him let me go.
I slipped out of bed and headed to the bathroom, panic making my chest tight as I tried to stop myself from breaking into an outright run.
What the hell had I been thinking?
He didn’t want a mate!
He probably didn’t even want me in his bed.
I was horny, but he was insane, and I’d taken advantage of that.
Nausea turned my stomach, and I shut the door hard, locking it behind myself as my shaking legs carried me to the toilet.
I sank down to my knees, gripping the edge of the seat. It wasn’t clean, but I didn’t care.
What was wrong with me?
I’d—
“Miranda?” Jasper knocked on the door.
His voice was tight.
“Just a minute.”
There was a pause. “Are you okay?” he finally asked. “Did I… did you…”
He didn’t know how to finish the question.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
I was a monster.
A moment passed.
I didn’t hear him walk away.
“Your scent tells me you’re upset. Did I hurt you? Did I do something wrong? My instincts are going to hell in a handbasket right now, and I can’t fucking stop them if you don’t talk to me.” He sounded… worried.
“Of course you didn’t do anything wrong. You saw the way I climaxed. I’ve never come twice like that in my life.”
I heard a long breath.
A long, relieved breath.
“Then what’s wrong?”
“I took advantage of you.”
More silence followed.
Longer silence.
“How do you figure that?” he finally asked.
“You weren’t even sane, Jas. And I just… used you. I feel sick about it. Do you even remember what happens when you’re crazy like that? I didn’t make sure you were on board, or?—”
He cut me off. “Open the door, Miranda.”
It wasn’t a question, or a request.
It was a command.
I shook my head, though I knew full well he couldn’t see me.
“Open it, or I’ll break it down.” His voice was lower.
I didn’t think he was kidding.
“I want space, okay? Just give me a few minutes to?—”
A loud cracking noise made me jump.
The door broke open, and Jasper came striding in.
His jeans were still unbuttoned, and his boxer-briefs were still damp with our release.
My face flushed at the sight of him, and the evidence of what we’d done.
What I’d done.
I—
He kneeled beside me, placing his hands on either side of my face as he turned it toward him. My body turned a bit too, so I was mostly facing him.
“I am not insane when I lose control of my instincts, and you can be damn sure I know exactly what’s happening. We call it insanity because the human concept of common sense goes out the window, not because we’re actually out of our minds.”
Oh.
“I’m a dragon, Miranda. I’m as much beast as I am man. On a normal day, I have full control of my animalistic side. During heat, I apparently have almost none. It’s not possible for you to take advantage of me. I want you so badly, I sent you into heat with me.”
Okay, that was…
A lot.
“And for the record, you can use me for your pleasure any fucking time you want. Understand?” he asked.
A charged, intense moment passed before I finally said, “Okay. Maybe we should set boundaries? So we know what we’re comfortable with?”
His lips curved upward just the tiniest bit. If I hadn’t been looking at him so closely, I wouldn’t have been able to tell he was smiling at all, but it was there. “I have no boundaries. Too old to care.”
“My boundary is that I don’t want to know exactly how old you are,” I said quickly.
He laughed. It was short. Sharp. Intense, just like he was.
And I couldn’t bite back a smile of my own.
Supernaturals were immortal, and the way time passed for them was different than it was for us. Age was, too. But the concept would still weird me out.
His thumb brushed lightly over my cheekbone. “How much of you can I touch while you’re asleep? Keeping my hands off you was a struggle. Your ass is perfect.”
My face flushed. It wasn’t because of heat, though I was feeling a little sweaty. “As much as you want. That’s pretty sexy.”
His chest rumbled. “I feel the same.”
“I usually sleep naked,” I added. “Is that… Are you…”
“Yes. Hell yes.” His voice was so hot, it killed me. “I assume you want me clothed.”
“Shorts would be good, maybe? Or just the boxer-briefs?” I gestured to the ones he had on again, my face flushing hotter.
I was going to overheat soon, I just knew it.
“You don’t want to seal the bond, right?” he asked.
The question snapped me out of it a little. “Right. You don’t either, though. Do you? Elodie said dragons don’t want mates.”
He agreed. “But you should know that it’s nearly impossible to fight heat. Only two couples have ever done so that we have on record. August and Elodie are one of them. The other couple sealed the bond afterward, too.”
“Well those are shitty odds.”
His lips curved again, just a little. “Yup.”
“Was the other guy as beastly as you?”
“I have no idea, but it’s unlikely. The guys that lose their minds to heat usually don’t last as long as the others.”
That didn’t sound good.
“So you’re saying I should brace myself for a mate bond?”
He dipped his head.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
He blinked.
His forehead furrowed. “Why?”
“This is my fault.” I gestured between us.
“How do you figure that?”
“I’m the one who walked over and sat beside you. I put my drink right by you, too. If I’d just minded my own business, maybe we could’ve avoided this. You didn’t even notice me before that.”
His eyes narrowed. “I was staring at you all afternoon and evening, Miranda. Eye-fucking you for hours. I don’t know if I could’ve even walked away from you at the end of the night. Heat didn’t start until I tasted you on that glass, but you were mine the moment I caught your scent.”
I bit my lip.
What was I supposed to say to that?
Thanks?
I was eye-fucking you too and never caught you looking at me?
Do you have any actual evidence of that?
Yeah, I stayed silent.
He let out a deep breath and finally released my face. “I need to feed you before these instincts take over again. Pancakes really are the only thing I can cook, though.”
“I’m a shitty cook too. Vi always cooks for both of us.”
His lips did that tiny curve thing again. “Pancakes it is.”
With that, he stood up and led me out of the bathroom.
I only hesitated a moment before following.