Chapter 4 #3
“Can I help with anything?” And that’s when I begin to understand the exhaustion behind his eyes. It’s not just from lack of sleep; Landon is struggling both emotionally and mentally.
“Thanks, but I’ll work something out. Sorry I disrupted lunch.” As he walks past me to head back to the others, I reach out, and this time it’s me grabbing onto his arm.
“Landon, it’s okay to ask for help sometimes.”
Stopping in his tracks, he glares at me in frustration.
“From whom? My elderly neighbor who already does so much for me, or her daughter who hates my guts because I’m a fucking idiot?
Yeah, the choices are just jumping out at me, Poppy.
There’s no one; there’s never been anyone.
I’ve been doing this on my own since the day she left, and I’ll continue to do so.
They are my boys and my responsibility.” His rounded shoulders and defeated posture reveals just how beaten down he feels right now.
It must be such a heavy load to carry, and all of a sudden, I’m seeing Landon in a whole different light.
Maybe last night was more than him playing with me; maybe it was him reaching out for someone to see him. To see the man struggling behind the facade. Am I the safe space he needs?
“Well, that’s a whole lot of assumptions there, because you and I both know that my mother would do anything for you and your boys.
She referred to you as family today. And as for me, I don’t hate you.
” I drop my voice, lean in closer to him, and whisper, “I just hate how you made me feel more than I can allow myself to feel right now.”
“Christ, Poppy, please don’t make today any harder than it already is.” He runs his hand down his face.
“Well, if I’m going to be wet every time you walk into the room, then you deserve the punishment of being hard as a rock too.” The moment the last word leaves my lips, he pulls his arm from my grasp and wraps it around my waist, drawing me close against his body.
“Is that what you want, temptress? To make me react even when I tell myself I shouldn’t?
” He is telling me he doesn’t want this, yet he keeps playing our game of seduction and rolls his aroused body into mine.
“I told you to be careful playing with fire, because you will get burned,” he whispers teasingly, as he leans in and drags his nose up my neck.
“I’m a firefighter. Fire doesn’t scare me.” I’m now breathing rapidly and trying to hold my ground.
“It should,” he hisses.
“Hurry up, Dad, I want to eat my ice cream before it melts,” Kade calls loudly from the table down the hallway, causing us to break apart.
“Fuck.” He shakes his head and then disappears out of the room back to where I can hear my mother telling Kade not to rush his dad when he’s on an important call.
“Oh yes, please,” I mumble quietly to myself, while visions of him about to push inside are racing through my head. Every time I’m within a foot of that man, he seems to strip away my inhibitions, and now I find myself in my mother’s living room almost begging him to do more than talk dirty.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I’ve never reacted to a man like this before, so why now?
“Poppy, your ice cream is melting,” Nash calls out to me in a softer voice, as though he is worried that my dessert will be ruined. He’s right, the dessert I want has just been scrubbed from the menu… again.
Taking a deep breath and quickly checking my reflection in the mirror, I head back into the lion’s den. Well, that’s what it feels like whenever I am close to Landon. I’m the toy to be played with, until he decides it’s time to go in for the kill.
Well, two can play at this game.
“Oh, my goodness, apple pie, ice cream, and sprinkles, my absolute favorite,” I declare as I sit back down at the table.
“I told you she would like the sprinkles, Kade.” Nash pokes his tongue out at his little brother who is no longer paying attention and already devouring his treat.
Nash gives me the most adorable smile and gazes at me like I have made his day by loving the dessert he has prepared for me.
It feels as though the moment I shared my fears as a little girl with him, he decided to claim me as his; to protect and care for me.
There is something about the males living in the house next door.
They all have their own hidden insecurities, but for some reason, they have chosen me to reveal themselves to.
“Well, guess what, I have a treat that’s better than sprinkles.” Kade and Nash’s heads both spring up from their bowls of ice cream. “For the next two weeks while I’m here visiting, I’m going to be looking after you both when your dad goes to work at the bar.”
“Yes!” Kade screams out and high-fives Nash, while he bounces up and down in his seat with excitement. At the same time, his brother and father both start speaking.
“Like every day?” Nash looks the happiest I’ve seen him since the day we met.
“Poppy, what the f—” Landon cuts himself off, remembering that he is in a room with his sons and my mother. “No.” His words are firm, but I don’t give a shit and won’t let him refuse my offer.
“Not up for debate.” I glare at him. “You need my help, and I don’t think you are in any position to disagree. So, between me and Mom, we will take care of these two little terrors until you can find better arrangements.” Not backing down, I stare at him as though challenging him to fight me on it.
“I’ll pay you.” It’s his only retaliation, and it’s not a good one.
“You will do no such thing!” Mom raises her determined voice at Landon. “Poppy is right, this is not up for debate.” Then turning and looking at Kade and Nash, she claps her hands together with glee. “Who’s up for a Christmas craft tomorrow?”
Kade, Nash, and I all shoot our hands up into the air with cheers of excitement. I had forgotten what the joy of Christmas could look like through the eyes of a child.
“Do I get a say in this?” Landon asks, a little less harshly.
“No!” we all cry in unison. And the chatter around the table suddenly becomes crazy as everyone tries to speak at once, and we map out ideas for the next few days, while Landon just sits back in his chair and watches us as a silent spectator.
By the time we have cleaned up from lunch, it’s getting late. Landon looks at his watch and tells the boys to say goodbye and go to the door to get their coats. Not surprisingly, my mom shuffles after them to help, which leaves me alone with Landon.
“You are one stubborn lady, aren’t you,” Landon asks me while stepping into my personal space again.
“You have no idea.” I smirk.
“It feels like I’m about to find out,” he replies.
“Today was just a taste.” My tongue swipes across my lips, and his eyes darken.
Then he sighs and shakes his head at me. “I’m sure it was, but my problem is I’m now picturing what else is being offered on the menu. Because I’m supposed to be fasting.” His hand lands softly on my jaw.
“That’s such a shame because I heard the chef is preparing a feast, so you might want to think about how much it will hurt you to break that fast—just this once.” If his kids weren’t in earshot, I wouldn’t be talking in code, and he would know exactly what I’m offering.
“You’re going to be the death of me, aren’t you, temptress?” He tightens his grip on my jaw in a way that I like, confirming what I have been imagining. If I can ever get this man to let down his guard, I won’t be walking for a week.
I gently place my hand on his chest, and as he slowly lets go of my jaw, I reach up on my toes, and in the sexiest voice I can muster, whisper in his ear, ”Possibly.”
I hear him almost whimper as I softly drag my tongue down his neck before I pull away.
“Fuuuuck,” he mutters under his breath.
“Time to decide if you’re going to sit on the sidelines for the rest of your life, Landon, or if you’re ready to jump into the fire. See you tomorrow in my nanny outfit,” I tease, before walking toward the front door where the boys are putting on their coats.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” he cautions me, but I’m not convinced he really means it.
Who am I kidding? The moment he leaves, I’m pulling out my phone and googling the nearest sex shops in Boston that stock slutty nanny costumes.
He talks the talk, but now it’s time to see if it really is me who might make him finally walk the walk again.
I wonder if it will be fun to heal the weary soul. Or am I purchasing a ticket to the fire in hell?
Either way.