Chapter 10 #2
“She’s been given some heavy pain relief, so she might not wake for a while, but you can sit with her.
Talk to her, touch her, and let her know you’re here, it’ll help her to find a calm place in her sedated state.
” He smiles, trying to give me some reassurance.
“I’m on for the rest of the night if you need me for anything.
I know it’s a lot to take in, but she’s going to be just fine. She just needs time.”
“Thank you for everything. I don’t know…” The words catch in my throat, and I can’t finish the sentence.
“It’s our job. She saves people’s lives, so deserves the very best care we can give to her.
” With that, he nods at me, and he’s about to step away when someone shouts from one of the rooms behind him.
He pivots quickly, moving with speed toward the call for help, along with all the other available doctors and nurses that begin rushing in that direction too.
“Come with me, Landon.” Monica takes my arm and guides me away from the emergency and down the hall.
Pushing a door open, she steps to the side to let me enter, and I freeze in the doorway.
In front of me is Poppy, looking so pale and frail.
Nothing like the vibrant woman so full of life who turned my world upside down last Christmas.
Instead, she has wires attaching her to a monitor that has all sorts of numbers and moving lines. I know they’re just monitoring her breathing and heartrate, but I hate seeing her so vulnerable like this.
“Just so you know, we also had to give her something to calm her down. After she called you, she went into a delayed shock, but that’s very normal in this kind of situation.
You being here now will help. I’ll leave you alone with her.
Just press on the buzzer if you need me.
” The moment I hear Monica’s voice, it snaps me out of the stunned trance I was in from seeing Poppy looking so broken.
I clear my throat, trying to speak. “Mm-hm, yes, thank you.” Stepping toward the bed, I hear the door closing softly behind me.
I just stare at her lying on her back, with the head of the bed tilted up so she is almost sitting up.
Her blonde hair looks so messy, and I can smell a hint of smoke coming from her body.
Her face still has smudges of ash on it which makes me mad.
Why hasn’t someone cleaned her up and made her feel better?
I don’t want to wake her, she needs rest to recover, but I’m also desperate to see those beautiful blue eyes. The spark of life that she has in them. It’s like every time I look deep into her eyes, she’s opening her soul to me.
Reaching out with my hand, I softly stroke my fingers through her hair that is hanging down the side of her face, tucking it behind her ear so it won’t tickle her.
I can feel the warmth in her skin as I slide my fingers over her motionless hand that is lying flat on the bed next to her leg.
She flinches slightly but then is still again.
I lean down and place my lips on the top of her hand, ever so softly, and kiss her.
She doesn’t taste like my sweet Poppy anymore, but I don’t care.
I just need to ground myself with what was always our most powerful connection.
From the first moment I kissed her in my living room, I knew once was never going to be enough, and it wasn’t.
I couldn’t get enough, and neither could Poppy.
There was just some kind of magnetic pull between us, and it always resulted in the most explosive kisses.
The kind I can’t shake the memory of and still dream about every night.
Pressing my lips to each cheek and then lingering one last time on her forehead, I try to get her to feel what I need her to know but can’t say out loud.
I finally pull away as a few stray tears fall down my face.
Slowly lowering myself into the chair beside her bed, I still haven’t let go of her for one second, and I slide my other hand under hers.
With it cocooned between mine, I slowly wrap my rough fingers around hers.
The feeling of her hand in mine, and that it’s warm, is enough that I let out a loud sigh of relief.
“I’m here, Poppy, just like I told you. Just rest, I’ll keep you safe now.” I kiss the top of her hand again because I need her to know I’m here. I want her to feel me, and I’m desperate for a sign she does.
“Just squeeze my hand if you can hear me.” And I don’t know if I imagined it, but I swear I felt her give me the slightest squeeze. “Good girl. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Laying my forehead on the bed for just a minute, I take a moment to process the last few hours.
“Pull it together, Landon. Poppy needs you,” I whisper into the blanket, taking a deep breath in through my nose, then as I sit up again, I exhale a long slow breath.
Taking my phone from my pocket, I quickly message both Adrian and Felix, updating them, with a promise to call in the morning when I can.
I ask Felix to send me a photo of the boys in the morning to show Poppy, which I know will make her smile.
Shooting off a message to Rosco with an update, he replies straight away and asks me to keep him in the loop.
Also, when she wakes, he wants me to call him so he can talk to her if she’s up to it.
I figure if that phone call saves her from a horde of visitors in here, then it’s worth it, so I agree and then lay my phone on the bed next to me.
I can’t sit here and just stare at her, I’ll go stir crazy.
Dr. Warren said she could hear me, and my girl confirmed it, although barely, but it was enough. So, I don’t care if she gets sick of my voice, I’m going to keep her company.
“I’ve missed you, Poppy. You never called me or even messaged.
I thought we agreed we were friends.” A small chuckle slips from me.
“I know I didn’t reach out either. I wanted to.
Hell, I almost did numerous times, but I couldn’t.
It was too hard.” My emotions are too close to the surface, I can’t continue with this, so it’s time to change the topic of conversation.
Time to talk about the one thing that has both of us smiling every time.
Nash and Kade.
“The boys miss you terribly, but I’ve got so much to share with you about them.
Man, where do I even start? Oh, I know, Felix, their manny.
Yes, you heard right, I have a male nanny, and it’s all your fault.
Your mom’s probably already told you about him, but she won’t know why I hired him.
It’s simple, no woman was ever going to replace you in my home.
Felix thinks it’s because I don’t trust myself with another woman, but the real reason is I still see you in every room in my house, laughing and playing with the boys.
Bringing the light into my darkness. I never wanted to replace those images.
” I reach up and stroke my thumb softly across her cheek as I continue.
“I know you want to ask the question, so yes, he is ugly, and I’m not attracted to him one bit.
But you’ll like him. He’s great with the kids, and I don’t have to worry about leaving them with him.
” Talking about Kade and Nash, it’s like my brain catches up with me and I realize it’s the first time I’ve been away from them since they lost their mother.
“I mean, I jumped on a plane and left my precious sons with Felix without even thinking twice. So that should tell you how comfortable I am with him taking good care of them.” In my head, I finish the sentence with ‘and how important you are to me too.’ I can’t say it out loud, it’s just not the right time.
We have a long road of recovery for her in front of us first.
The reality is hanging over me that nothing has changed in our situation either.
Except perhaps the fact that both our hearts have let the secret out. It might have taken something awful for us to acknowledge our feelings, but we can’t ignore them now either. Well, I know I can’t, and Poppy, it remains to be seen.
POPPY
“My head hurts…” I get out before the coughing starts.
“Sip some water,” a deep tired-sounding voice says from beside me, but I would know that voice anywhere.
I push as hard as I can to open my sleepy eyes. “Landon,” I croak and then slowly sip the cool water from the cup he holds out for me. It feels amazing on my irritated throat.
“Shhh. Don’t try and talk too much.” He takes the cup of water and places it beside him on a table.
“You’re here.” There’s no way I can’t talk to him.
“Yeah, sweetheart. I told you I was coming. Nothing was going to keep me from getting to you. After hearing you so scared on that phone call, I was on the first plane out of Boston.” He leans over and kisses me on the forehead, and I wish it was on my lips instead.
“I called you?” I ask, confused.
“Yeah, you don’t remember?” he asks. I shake my head softly, and pain shoots through my head, so I stop immediately. Glancing around the room at my surroundings, I’m in a hospital room with the curtains drawn, and the lights are low.
A random thought jumps into my head. Landon’s here, but where are Nash and Kade?
“The boys?” I question, starting to feel a bit panicked at how scared they’ll be that he isn’t there.
“They’re fine, don’t worry. I talked to them a little while ago.” He moves from standing beside me to sitting on the edge of my bed so he’s closer. I like that, and I can see him better now that my eyes are able to focus.
I can’t stop staring at him. I’m not sure if he’s real or if I’m still in some drugged sleep. My arms are heavy, but I use as much strength as I can muster and lift my left hand up and cup his face. It’s warm, and I slide my hand down a little and run my fingers through his beard.
“I love your beard,” I whisper.
“I remember.” He smiles a little, and the worry lines on his forehead don’t look quite so deep.
“Are you real?” I ask cautiously, because I’m scared the answer will be no.