Chapter 11 #2
“But you know I’m right.” He’s now so close I can feel his breath on my ear.
He gently kisses just beside my ear, and I can’t move.
Like it’s in slow motion, he brings his lips so close to mine that I’m screaming on the inside “KISS ME.” He’s so close I can almost taste him but know there’s no way he would want to kiss someone who’s just barfed.
I’m desperate to feel his lips on mine, but I can’t do it to him, that’s disgusting.
My embarrassment has me about to turn my head away from him, but before I can, we hear the noise at the door to the room.
Knock, knock.
It’s not loud but enough that Landon pulls back quickly and stands up tall next to my bed. And I’m left still hanging here on the moment that’s now lost, even if I was going to end it anyway.
Landon strides to the door like he’s my own personal security guard.
He opens the door slightly, with his body blocking me from seeing who it is.
There’s a quiet murmur between him and whoever it is.
Landon then steps aside, pulling the door fully open, and standing there is Rosco who looks like he’s aged ten years since I saw him yesterday.
“Hey.” I lift my hand and wave casually at him.
“Bert, you look so much better today.” He looks at Landon, almost asking permission to approach the bed.
What the hell have I missed? Something has gone down between these two, and I’ll be demanding Landon tells me the instant Rosco is gone.
“I’m doing okay. Although once these awesome pain meds I’m on wear off, it might not be the same story.” I’ve never seen him look this timid. Rosco is a man who holds his own in any situation, has an authoritative air about him in the station and on a fire site.
“Please, sit.” I wave to the chair next to my bed, which he takes a seat on. Landon sits down next to me on the opposite side of the bed to where Rosco is. Landon takes my hand in his, and as I look up, I see his line of sight hasn’t left Rosco since he entered the room.
You could cut the air in this room with a knife. Trying to break the obvious tension, I start to talk.
“Is everyone else okay?” I ask Rosco, because I’d asked Landon earlier, and he said he didn’t know many details except about me.
“Yep, perfectly fine. You were the only one that got hit, so don’t you worry about anything except getting better.
I’ve activated your sick leave and filled out all the incident reports, so you’re on leave until declared medically fit to return to work.
” Now that he’s talking, Rosco is loosening up a bit.
“How’s the pain? Landon said the operation went well and the surgeon was happy with it. ”
“Apparently. I can’t remember the doctor coming in earlier.
My brain’s still very hazy. I can’t remember things even from after the fire, which is frustrating, but they tell me it’ll get better.
I just need to be patient, but we all know that’s not my strong point.
But at least I can’t really feel anything now, which I’m happy about,” I reply, but I’m not here for small talk.
I take a breath, as deep as I can which is still quite shallow, and then focus on what I really want to know.
“So, what the fuck happened, Rosco? I can’t remember a thing.
I mean, you and I never miss the signs, so why this time?
We’re always so vigilant. How did I fuck up so bad?
” The moment the words start pouring out of me, I can feel my heart start to race, and the alarm on the monitor starts beeping louder.
“Just take a breath, Poppy.” Landon’s calm voice comes from beside me as he starts stroking my hair. It works every time, and he knows it. Physical connection with him is my stress reliever.
Rosco shifts uncomfortably in his chair while I do as Landon said. The door opens, and a nurse pops her head in.
“Everything alright in here?” She looks directly at me, not the guys for the answer, and I applaud her for that.
“Sorry, yes, I just got a bit worked up talking about the fire and it set it off.”
The nurse continues into the room, resetting the monitor and just watching the screen for a minute or so.
“All good, just buzz me if needed.”
I reply as she’s walking back toward the door. “Sorry, but I can’t guarantee it’s not going to go off again shortly.”
“Then don’t talk about the fire and it won’t. Simple.” Her sarcasm is not helpful, because it’s not that simple at all. I need to know, and Rosco is the only one who can help me.
“She’s right,” Landon says. “Maybe we should wait a few days.”
“Fuck no! I’m missing twenty-fours of my life where I have no idea what happened.
The anxiety of not knowing is probably more of a strain on my body than a few heated moments when I set that stupid thing off.
” I’m trying my hardest not to get agitated, but I can tell I’m borderline of having that nurse march back in here to scowl at the alarm going off again.
“Okay, okay, calm down, kid. I’ll tell you what we know.” Rosco reaches out and touches my arm, and I hear a low warning growl coming from Landon. Cute, but not needed with Rosco, he’s like my dad.
“Good.” I glance sideways at Landon to give him the sign that this is my choice, and he needs to butt out. The dark look that flashes across his eyes tells me how he feels about that thought, which is basically, “That’s what you think.”
“Where do I start?” Rosco asks.
“I remember the shit that went down at the station.” I don’t want to expand on that while Landon is here because it’ll just cause more problems. “Then the fire alarm going off and climbing into the truck. Then it’s blank until a few hours ago.”
“It was a single-story factory, four people trapped inside. You and Russ were together, I was with Volk. We executed the rescue out of a cool room at the back of the building where they were cut off by the fire. We all had a patient except for you and Volk. We started evacuating them while the engine crew cleared the debris in our way, and the hoses were used when needed. I made the call for ladder crew to pull out and engine crew to start knocking down the fire.” He stops to take a breath.
“Normal job then?” I ask.
“Up to that point, yeah. But then from what Volk reported, you and he were making the final sweep of an unchecked side room. You both called clear and signaled to pull out behind us. Volk said he started walking out, engine crew had hoses nearby, so the smoke was thick, and then he heard the roof collapse behind him. You screamed and then there was nothing. Your PASS device went off, alerting us you were down, but you weren’t responding to my call.
” Before Rosco could continue, I jump in with questions.
“What did Volk say, did he hear any warning noises? Who saw it happen? How long was I pinned under the rubble?” It’s times like this I wish we wore body cameras. I could see the vision for myself then.
“He didn’t hear a thing. He was relaying over the radio to me at the time that it was all clear.
No one saw the internal ceiling fall, everyone’s backs were to the room you were in.
As soon as it was down, Volk was screaming instructions through the radio, pulling you out with the help of the engine crew.
He was pretty distressed by the time he was running out the front door of the warehouse with you in his arms. You were semi-conscious when we got you onto the gurney outside, enough to give me grief about calling your mother.
” He shakes his head at me. “And by the way, never put me in that position again. Luckily this guy showed up, otherwise I don’t care what you asked, I was calling her. ”
“I don’t remember saying it, and I know that’s a shitty thing to do, but thank you for listening. Mom didn’t cope very well when we called her earlier, even when she could see me and confirm I was okay.” I apologize to Rosco because he deserves at least that.
“I understand why, but…” he stresses.
“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” I close my eyes for a few seconds, trying to process everything he’s said. It just doesn’t sit right in my gut for some reason.
“Maybe that’s enough for today?” Landon wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him for a one-armed hug.
His words seem to trigger my body to lose all its energy again, and the adrenaline that spiked when Rosco first arrived has now disappeared.
I take a few deep breaths and then open my eyes to see Rosco running his hand through his coarse dark hair that’s starting to get those little speckles of gray.
“I’m sorry, Poppy, I let you down. It’s my job to keep you safe.” It’s then I see a dull look in his eyes, making me think how much he’s probably been beating himself up over this since yesterday. Exactly like I would, if I’d been the lieutenant in charge.
“No, you didn’t, please don’t take this on.
It sounds like it was just a freak accident.
If I didn’t hear anything and neither did Volk, then how were you supposed to do anything when you were concentrating on getting your patient out safely.
” I reach out and take his hand in mine, squeezing it.
“I’m alive and I’m going to be fine, and that’s all that matters.
It’s part of the job we signed up for, right? ”
Rosco half smiles at me in a sign of thanks for my words. But I know the kind of man he is and that deep down a part of him will always feel responsible. That’s why he’s so good at his job; he cares about his people.
“You’ll make a great boss of your own crew when you take it on. Station 135 will be lucky to have you. Now I should go and let you rest. Your man here told me I had fifteen minutes and that was it.” He chuckles a little as he pushes the chair back and stands up.
“Landon!” I scold, turning and glaring at him.
“I’m not apologizing for taking care of you,” Landon replies in a harsh controlling tone.