Epilogue
POPPY
“You didn’t warn me how hot as fuck you look in a uniform,” Landon whispers into my ear as he comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against his chest.
I’ve been standing in our en-suite staring at myself in the mirror for about ten minutes, just sitting in the moment, because it’s so hard to believe that today is finally here.
Landon gives me a little squeeze of reassurance as he sees the water in my eyes that I’m trying not to let turn into tears.
“You okay, sweetheart?” he asks, and I nod.
“When I was growing up, I always wanted to be a firefighter, like my dad. But I never dreamed that one day I would be about to walk into his old firehouse as Lieutenant Poppy Bertrum of Station 27. The firehouse that not only was his home but was also the place that kept me safe when I needed it, and in turn gave me my beautiful life.” And my battle to keep the tears at bay is lost. “As soon as I put this uniform on this morning, ready for my first shift in my new job, it’s been a lot of emotion to process.
” I rub over the Boston Fire Department logo on my shirt which is the same as what my dad wore.
And beneath that same spot is my tattoo of his badge and number, together with my heart that is beating a little fast this morning.
“I know. It’s a big day for so many reasons, not just about your dad, and I think that’s why it feels a little overwhelming.
” Landon’s deep voice calms my soul, as always.
“But I want you to take a deep breath, and as you breathe it out, look at the woman you see in the mirror. Truly look at her, and I don’t just mean the blonde hair, blue eyes, and beautiful woman we all see. I want you to look deep into her soul.”
“Don’t make me cry, Landon.” I’m barely hanging on, with just a few tears trickling down my cheeks.
“While you’re looking, I’ll tell you who I see.” He reaches around and kisses my cheek before he starts.
“I see my beautiful girl who I love so much and am grateful to be able to say she’s mine.
But I see so much more than just your undeniable beauty.
I see strength, loyalty, honesty, kindness, and of course, resilience.
Someone who has fought multiple demons and won.
A stepmom with the biggest heart and so much patience for two boys who don’t always deserve it.
” A smile lights up Landon’s face as he talks about Nash and Kade, and it makes me giggle thinking about how much of a handful they can be some days.
“There’s also this woman, the one right here,” he points at me in the mirror, “who has discovered a hidden artistic flair for decorating our new bar, which I’m so thankful for, otherwise Adrian would be installing that ghastly green carpet and brown chairs he was looking at.
” And we both let out a little laugh at that thought, then smile tenderly at each other.
Landon leans close to my ear again. “And don’t even get me started on how fucking breathtaking she is, naked and on all fours on our bed, with her mouth wrapped around my cock, while I’ve got my head buried in her glorious tight pussy,” he whispers in my ear, which instantly sends a shiver through my body.
“Landon, you can’t say that when I’m in uniform and about to go to work.” I smack him on his thigh.
“Oh, I can, and I did.” He dips his head and kisses me on my neck which is one of my weaknesses.
His breath and lips on my sensitive skin have my body standing to attention for more.
“And let me assure you, that’s just a taste of what I’ll be saying and doing to her when she comes home from her first shift at Station 27, still wearing this uniform that I think is going to become one of my favorite outfits to strip her out of. ”
“Whoever this woman is, fuck, I want to be her.” I moan softly as I drop my head back on his shoulder.
Landon completes me.
I never knew the deep sexual connection I needed in a man until Landon started speaking so dirty to me, which is a whole other level of scorching hot. And now, I’m totally addicted to his filthy mouth.
The way he controls my pleasure is so erotic. I completely let go in a way I didn’t realize I could, purely because I know he’s always got me.
And right now is a perfect example of him reading me and knowing what I need to get me out of my own head. His quickest way to do that is by talking dirty to me, so he can consume my thoughts in seconds from the moment he opens his mouth.
“You are her, Poppy. You’re every single word I described you as, plus more.
And on top of all that, you are the most amazing, badass firefighter that Boston has ever seen.
I hope Pointy and the guys at the station know what they’re in for.
” Landon chuckles as he releases me and then turns me quickly to face him.
“I’m so incredibly proud of you, Poppy, and I love you so much. Now kick ass today and then come home to me.” His hands are on my face, holding me tight as he leans in and devours me with a kiss that I know translates to the two words he won’t tempt fate to say.
Stay safe.
They’re two words I told him never to say to me at the start of a shift. It’s a superstition I have, and it might be crazy, but if nobody says it, then nothing bad is going to happen.
“Now get your ass out into the living room. Your mom is here, ready and waiting with her camera for a photo of her little girl on her first day on the job.” Landon smacks me on the ass, and I laugh.
“Just give me a minute.” I rise up onto my toes and kiss him on the cheek. He nods at me and walks out, leaving me like I asked.
I think back to those two words we don’t say out loud – stay safe.
And I know not saying it didn’t stop Kyra from hurting me, but I don’t feel like that counts.
That wasn’t a random accident. She wanted to hurt me enough so I wouldn’t be in Dean’s firehouse anymore and she wouldn’t have to worry about losing him.
Which kind of backfired on her anyway. Because I look back on my accident now as a life pivot the universe had in store for me.
I’m back in Boston where I belong, with the love of my life, surrounded by my mom and our boys, about to start my absolute dream job.
I chose to be happy, and no one can take that away from me.
I also chose to seek justice, because I’m not going to carry around the heavy weight of all that trauma for the rest of my life, starting with dealing with the people responsible for my accident.
The look on Dean’s face when Landon and I walked into my old firehouse in Rochester with two officers from the Fire Investigation Unit and Internal Affairs was priceless.
We flew to Rochester a few days after the bar fire so we could report everything that had happened with Dean and what I had remembered about Kyra, because Landon and I had decided that for us both to move forward, we need to finally let go of all the emotional scars of our past.
And the surprising thing was I didn’t once feel any sign of panic as I saw my old crew, hugged them goodbye, and cleared out my locker.
I took a moment to run my hands down the side of Ladder 19, my fire engine, that had been such a big part of my life as a way of saying thank you for keeping me safe.
Rosco and Landon made peace, and Landon even invited him to visit Boston when we re-open the bar.
I hope he takes us up on that invitation.
I got a phone call from Rosco about a month after our visit with him in Rochester to tell me that Dean had been reprimanded for his behavior and was stood down from active duty and confined to the firehouse while on shift for six months, which is like being in jail for a firefighter.
Seeing your crew roll out to fires in the engines, time after time, while you’re stuck there cleaning the bathrooms, would be like living in hell.
It was a fair punishment, because strangely enough, I actually believe that he didn’t have anything to do with Kyra’s treachery.
But he still didn’t tell anyone when he found out either, so that’s almost as bad.
Rosco also told me that Kyra had been terminated as a firefighter and was facing criminal charges, which will go through the courts in due course. I also hope she gets some psychological help, because her decision that day was not in any way a rational one.
I turn and take one last look in the mirror, and a fleeting vision of Tessa comes into my mind because of how similar we look.
Walking into the firehouse today is going to be such a full-circle moment for me, all because Tessa did the right thing and chose a better life for me by placing me in the safe box at my firehouse almost thirty-one years ago.
She may not have lived a good life and made many poor choices, but Tessa’s decision to set fire to Lucinda’s was her final downfall and landed her in prison.
But I will always have gratitude for the one good decision Tessa made by bringing me into this world to be loved by people who will choose me every single time.
I take a deep breath, slowly let it out, and smile to myself. Today is going to be a great day.
Walking into the living room, the moment Mom looks at me, she bursts into tears, which we all predicted would happen.
Landon takes her phone off her. “Let me do it, Momma B.” And he gently pushes her closer to me so I can put my arm around her while he snaps plenty of photos.
I still love hearing him call her Momma B, which she insisted on after the bar fire and we told her I was coming home for good.
She said that she already considered Landon as her son, so he may as well call her his mom too.
But of course, the boys weren’t happy with him calling her plain old Mom, so Momma B it became, and I love it.