Chapter 4
In the perfectstillness of the dark room, the heavy weight of emotions she’d been carrying lifted. Because she’d only talked about the situation to her manager and her dad.
And she needed to talk about it.
“Well, then.” His deep voice cracked the stillness. “My advice is to take the time you need to heal.”
“Really? I didn’t expect you to say that.”
“And then, you get back out there and kick some ass. Because at the end of the day, the ones who fucked you over are just bad people. And there’s not a damn thing you can do about that. But they will get what’s coming to them. That’s guaranteed.”
“I know, I know. The best revenge is living a great life.” She’d heard that one plenty of times.
“Yeah, I don’t give a damn about revenge. The only thing that matters is me. What I’m doing, how I’m feeling. And I’m not about to stew in bitterness or negativity. When you get screwed over, of course, you’re going to be hurt for a while. That’s good. It’s fair. But after a few days, you’ve got to get out there and self-correct. Get yourself on the right track and ignore the people who screwed you over. Wipe them out of your mind. They don’t exist. Because—bottom line—you’re the only person responsible for the quality of your life.”
“You know, for a stranger who broke into my cabin in the woods, you give excellent advice. You’re right. It’s up to me to find my happiness.” Yes.
Screw Landon and Cissy. Screw her mom. Screw the press.
She needed to take all of it out of the picture. It had nothing to do with her new direction. “Okay, now it’s my turn. What do you hate about your job?”
“Nothing. I love my job.”
“Wait a minute. That’s not a second thing we have in common, is it? Did we just become best friends?”
He chuckled. “Well, before we start braiding each other’s hair, I have to qualify my answer. I love aspects of my job, but I hate the lack of authority over my decisions.”
She wished it wasn’t so dark. She needed to see him, read his expressions. “I mean, that’s probably true for everyone, right? It sounds like you need to go out on your own. Work for yourself.”
“I think you’re right. Because if I go back to work for someone else, then I’m not following my own advice. I’m responsible for the quality of my life. And what am I doing if I’m not serving my clients in an authentic way? If I’m only using them for my commission?”
Okay, so he wasn’t a therapist. Someone who makes commissions—so, a salesman? A rush of affection made her pat his arm. “I think we just helped each other.”
“Yeah, Hellcat, I think we did.” He turned onto his side, his big body making the mattress shift. “Now that we’re best friends, you can explain why your sweats have figs on them.”
“Figs? That’s not…” She thought about the design. “They’re not figs. Besides, I thought you can’t see anything.” She had no idea what he was talking about.
“Can’t miss those bright purple figs.”
She’d arrived at the cabin with the contents of one carry-on bag and a tote stuffed with pens, notebooks, a sweater, and a pair of ballet flats. She’d had to order a lot of things, and she hadn’t paid much attention.
“They’re either that or pussies with seeds.”
“Pussies?” Lorelei was in the music industry, so she was used to raunchy language and behavior, but she’d never used that word in her life. And this man seemed so…cultured, polished. “Do you mean kitty cats or?—”
“Pussies. Vaginas.”
“Oh, my God.”
“Hey, they’re your sweats.”
“You think I’d buy clothing with vaginas on them?” She threw back the covers and flicked on the flashlight, stretching out the fabric to get a better view of the deep purple tear-shaped pattern. “That’s not—” Wait. Was it? “No, it’s just a pretty design.”
He tapped the bits of green. “Then how do you explain the leaves?”
“Those are not leaves.” But once her perspective shifted, she saw the pattern in a whole new way. “Oh. Wow. They’re figs.”
“No shit.”
“Why did I buy sweatpants with figs on them?”
“That’s a question only you can answer.”
Laughing, she flopped back down. “My mind is blown.”
“It’s not that weird. It’s probably some botanical line.”
“No, not because of that.”
“What then?” he asked.
“Because you’ve never seen a pussy before.”
He barked out a laugh. “What?”
“If you think the inside of a fig looks like a pussy, then you’ve obviously never been down there before.” She was having fun, so she pushed it a little. “Look, you work a lot. Your personality’s a little, you know, flat. It’s okay if you’re a virgin.”
He chuckled. “Two things. First, my bedroom skills are on point, and second, I’m trying to get you comfortable enough that you’ll fall asleep. A conversation about sex is going to have the opposite effect.”
“You brought it up.”
“In a different context. Hey, have you been using my new grill? I just had it delivered in June. Haven’t used it yet, but it’s dope.”
“Oh, okay. We’re closing out the vagina talk. Got it.” She turned off the flashlight and set it on the nightstand before sliding under the covers again. “The listing said the grill was off-limits, so I assumed it might be considered a fire hazard. Besides, I wouldn’t even know how to use it.”
“I can show you tomorrow.”
Huh. She thought he’d make some crack about how it was so simple a five-year-old could do it. She hadn’t expected such patience. Kindness. “That’s nice of you, but since I’m leaving tomorrow…” If they still didn’t have Wi-Fi, she wouldn’t be able to get the address of the place she’d actually rented. She’d have to go back to her dad’s.
“We’ll see how it looks in the morning.”
“Well, how long can a storm last? It’ll pass over.” Her dad would come and get her. She’d learned that about him.
“Doesn’t work like that out here. Resources go to Calamity and Wild Wolff Village. The mountains get dug out last.”
“What’re you talking about? How long could it take?” Not only didn’t he want her here, but how long could she keep her identity hidden?
“No idea. Could be as long as a week.”
“Of us snowed in together?” Alarm rang through her body. “What will we do for food?”
“I brought plenty.”
“Oh, God.” Of course. “You’re spending Christmas here.” What had she been thinking?
This is bad. This is so bad.
If he has a wife, kids…and I’m sharing a bed with him? No way. “Are you married? Do you have kids? Because if you were my husband, and I found out you’d slept in the same bed with another woman?—”
“Whoa. Slow down. I’m not married.”
“Well, you didn’t come here to spend Christmas alone, did you?”
“Yeah, actually. I did. My mom and her boyfriend are traveling, and there’s no other family.”
“What about a girlfriend?”
“I’ve never seen a vagina before, remember? How can there be a girlfriend?”
“Plenty of couples don’t have sex before marriage.”
“Hellcat, there’s no one, okay? And I agree with you. If I had a wife or girlfriend, I wouldn’t share a bed.”
She eased back down, covering herself with the duvet. “Even if it meant dying of hypothermia?”
“I said I wouldn’t share a bed. I didn’t say which one of us would be on the couch.”
She laughed. “‘Heads-up, hon. There’s a dead body on the couch. But the good news? I didn’t share a bed with her.’”
“Trust me, my wife would rather hide a dead body than know I slept with another woman.”
“Your imaginary wife’s a jealous one, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
She grinned in the darkness like a fool. “Well, at least you got snowed in on vacation.”
“I’m not on vacation.”
“But Christmas is the day after tomorrow. Everyone’s off.”
“My job doesn’t work like that.”
What does he do for a living?It was killing her not to know, but she didn’t want to open that door, so she let it go. “Are you going to get into trouble?”
“Yes. I was supposed to close a deal today. My boss said if I didn’t do it, I’d be fired.” He sounded bitter.
“And there’s no Wi-Fi, so you can’t tell him about the snowstorm.”
“He won’t care. He won’t understand me going anywhere before getting the contract signed.”
“This is awful. I’m so sorry. I guess you didn’t check the weather before you came out here?”
“Sure, I did.” He paused. “Right after I buckled in on the plane.”
“So, what’re you going to do?”
“There’s nothing I can do. Getting all worked up won’t give me Wi-Fi.”
“That’s a good attitude.” In the dark, she felt bolder than she might’ve if they’d been face-to-face. “If your boss hadn’t threatened to fire you, who would you be spending Christmas with?”
“Probably my boss.”
“Not your mom? You don’t spend it as a family?”
“We haven’t in a while.”
“I guess you guys don’t get along?” she asked.
“No, we’re fine.”
“Is it the boyfriend? You don’t like him?”
“He’s all right.” His legs shifted under the blanket. “I could probably give him more of a chance.”
She liked a man who was willing to admit his faults. “But?”
“But he’s not my dad.”
Oh, no. A flurry of anger rushed through her. “Your mom cheated with this guy?”
“Calm down, Hellcat. It’s not like that. My mom’s been alone a long time. I’m glad she found someone.”
“Then, why wouldn’t you want to spend Christmas with them?”
“Let’s just say I’m working on my feelings toward her. But I’m glad she has this guy. I want her to be happy.” There was something funky in his tone. He didn’t sound begrudging or angry. It was more like he was conflicted.
“Or how about this? You hope someday you’ll want her to be happy?” She said it softly, quietly.
“Yeah.” A moment later, he said, “That works better.”
“Life is so complicated.”
“It’s still going to be complicated when you leave this cabin.”
“Says the man hiding in a cabin over Christmas.”
“Hey, I’m not hiding. I’m here to make a big decision.”
“Well, let’s hope the power comes back on sooner rather than later.”
“Yeah. I do need to get ahead of this situation with my boss. I’ve got a snowmobile, so if it goes on too long, I’ll head into town.”
“It better not go on too long. We’ll run out of food. You came out here alone, so I know you didn’t buy enough for two people.” She’d never been trapped in a snowstorm. “And what if the generator runs out of fuel? How long can we go without heat? And the water—what about showering?”
“We won’t run out of anything.” His hand found her arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “As soon as I picked up the car, I stopped at the grocery store. I got there right when it was closing, so I ran up and down the aisles tossing random shit into my cart. I bought way too much. And I’ve got a massive propane tank, so it’s not going to run out. We’re good. I promise.”
“Oh, thank God. I did start to spiral there, didn’t I?” She laughed it off.
“It’s understandable.”
He’d done it again. Surprised her with his response. Landon would’ve teased her for overreacting. Cissy would’ve rolled her eyes and called her a drama queen. For the first time, she could see the role they’d cast her in, and how she’d willingly played the part. She was the artiste, the creative one who couldn’t function in the real world.
Once assigned, she’d stuck to it. Because they’d reinforced it with their inside jokes.
The revelation made her extremely uncomfortable. “Well, that’s a relief.”
“So, you’re good?” he asked. “Can you sleep now?”
This exhausted man had been willing to sleep on the couch. He’d stayed up to put her mind at ease. He’d been kind and considerate. “I think I can.”
Before she could even roll onto her side and put a pillow between her legs, his breathing evened out. In the quiet of the spacious bedroom, with snow falling and wind whistling through the trees, she felt safe and cocooned.
She didn’t have much faith in her judgment anymore, not after an entire year of being played.
But maybe this was her first test.
Don’t prove me wrong, Slick.