5. Five
Five
Abi
My grip on the lead tightened when I saw the man next to Luna’s stall. It couldn’t be. Anyone but him. Anyone but Cash Callahan.
When I saw Lachlan stepping into the unknown trailer, excitement filled my entire body. Our first paying boarding client. Three horses for at least eight weeks. And, a person renting the arena for training space? I basically jumped for joy when I looked at the white horse in the trailer. And when Lachlan said, “His name is Charming?” I let out laugh and gave the gelding attention before leading him into the stable. He walked slowly next me, using his nose to nudge my cheek, being absolutely…charming. I was enamored with him, right until I saw the darker skin and black hat of the man I hadn’t seen in years. The man I never thought I’d see again.
“What the hell?” I said breathlessly.
Cash’s dark, rich eyes hit mine. They were different, a hint of something I couldn’t quite read sitting behind them. I pinched my brow and focused on him. He was holding onto something in his eyes, but then in an instant, he changed. His eyebrows rose and a smirk spread across his lips, revealing his white teeth. His cocky smile was the same as I remembered—it was just those eyes that were different.
“Abs.” He gave me a nod.
His voice. Deep and rich, that Tennessee drawl flying through the air sparked more memories than I cared to admit.
“It’s been awhile,” he finished.
It’s been awhile!?
I bit the inside of my lips, holding back any and all words that I may vomit out. Trying to find something decent to say. Anything other than what I really, truly wanted to say to the man standing near my husband’s horse.
Get away from Luna.
Get the fuck off my property.
Where the hell have you been?
Why didn’t you call me back?
Why did you leave us? Leave me?
Why….why…
Why the hell didn’t you come to Sylas’s funeral?
I finally settled on one simple word. “No.”
“No, what?” He raised a brow, stepping away from Luna’s stall to come a little closer to me.
I dropped Charming’s lead, noticing right away how he didn’t turn his head to wander off, and took one step towards Cash.
“No.” I repeated before spinning on my heel, feeling my hair whip around my back in my fit of rage. “Lachlan.” I glared at my cousin. “I need to speak with you, please.” I grabbed Lachlan’s collar and yanked him hard, dragging him out of the stables as fast as I could. Away from Cash Callahan.
“Abi.” Lachlan stumbled. “What—”
“What the hell” —I yelled in his face once we were out of the barn—“is he doing here?”
“ He is paying us to board three horses while his client heals from the fall you saw the other night. He is paying us to use the arena to train her before she can go back to the circuit. He is giving the ranch what it needs right now—money.” Lachlan glared at me, making sure his voice raised every time he said ‘he’—as if I needed to be reminded who he was.
I shook my head. “No, not him.”
“Abi.” He groaned, shaking his head, his arms raising before they came down and hit his thighs in frustration. He chewed his bottom lip, probably so hard he was tasting blood.
“This is who you knew needed a place to board horses? This is who you called yesterday? Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you think just letting him show up was a good idea?”
“Because I was hoping to avoid this.” He waved his hand in between us. “You said the ranch needs money. Cash has more than enough money, and he has a need. We can fulfill that need, so guess what Abi?” His voice grew sharper, louder, and one glance behind his shoulder told me Cash could hear everything we said. “You’re going to put your big girl pants on and get over the fact that he’s here. You used to be friends. He was Sylas’s friend. You shut him out. You made that mistake. You get over it. He has.”
I clenched my teeth at his words, forcing the tears to stay back. Put my ‘big girl’ pants on as he called it. I crossed my arms over my chest and didn’t take my eyes off Lachlan.
The way he saw it, I stopped talking to Cash. I stopped being his friend. He didn’t know what had happened. He didn’t know the last thing I ever heard Cash Callahan say was that Sylas had died. That the injuries were too much for his body to sustain. Then he walked out of the hospital doors. And I never saw or heard from him again.
But not because I hadn’t tried.
Grinding my molars together, I looked at my cousin. I kept my teeth together, not trusting anything that could have come out of my mouth.
“Are your big girl pants on?” he sneered.
I gave him one single nod.
“Good. Now get your ass in the stable and talk to Cash like an adult.” He turned his back and took a few steps but then looked over his shoulder. “No, how about you talk to him like you’re old friends who haven’t seen each other in four years. I have horses to settle.”
He walked away from me, towards Cash, waving his arm in the air as if he was wiping what just happened between us from his mind. I watched as he grabbed Charming’s lead and walk him to the stall next to Stetson’s horse, Marshmallow, and then my gaze went to Cash.
He stood with his thumbs in his belt loops, his hip cocked and chin in the air. His skin was still as flawless as I remembered, maybe a hint of scruff on his chin…but he still looked the same. He still looked like the friend I had grown close to until he was gone. He raised his eyebrows and smiled, no doubt thinking it would erase the last four years of silence.
Biting the inside of my bottom lip, I held his gaze for what felt like forever…
One…two…three….four…
Come on Abi, bull riders make it eight seconds…
I blinked…and turned away from him.
I couldn’t even last the eight seconds.
“Are you going to tell me about the guy in the stables with Lachlan and Rhett?” Kyla asked as I tried to focus on the food in front of me.
I ignored her. It was lunch time, and before I knew it, a few of the ranch hands would be wandering in to get their meal before heading back out to the land. I didn’t want to talk about this. But maybe I did? Should I get it all off my chest? Kyla was the one to talk to about it. I need to get it off my mind and put my energy into feeding the employees. These guys deserve the best bologna sandwiches in the world. And dammit, they would get them. I spread the mayonnaise on one side, and then the mustard. Provolone. Bologna. Lettuce. Tomato. Deliciousness in square form. One down—fifteen perfect bologna sandwiches to go. And that was not making one for Cash. He could make his own damn sandwich.
I rolled my eyes at myself. So much for my big girl pants.
“He looks familiar.” Kyla stood by the sliding door; her arms folded as she watched the three men leave the stables. “I swear I’ve met him before.”
“You couldn’t have,” I finally responded back to her, my focus still on the sandwiches. “That’s Cash Callahan, and he hasn’t been here in a long time.”
“Cash Callahan? He’s a trainer?” Her head shot over to me. “I have met him.”
I furrowed my brow and scoffed. “When?”
“At the rodeo in Utah, I’m sure. He led me over to the winner’s podium. Wyatt didn’t seem too thrilled about him, but he seems nice?” She shrugged a shoulder up.
I raised my gaze and gave a chuckle. “Wyatt is not fond of him.”
“Why not?”
I looked out the window, catching Cash mid laugh. Whatever was said must have been funny, because it even earned a smirk and head shake from Lachlan. Lachlan never smiled.
I blinked. “It’s a long story,” I muttered under my breath. “He’s just here to board his horses.”
“That’s good, right?” Kyla moved, taking a seat on the stool at the island, reaching over to gather all of the sandwich fixing. “The ranch needs the money, at least that’s what Rhett’s told me.”
“It does, so this is a good thing. Just,” I heaved a sigh and closed my eyes. “There’s a history.”
“Abi, there wasn’t anything…” Kyla blinked as she leaned forward, lowering her voice. “…romantic between you two was there?”
“What?” I spat, almost dropping the butter knife in shock. “No. Kyla why on Earth would you ask that!?”
“You just seem—"
“No.” I cut her off, fire boiling that she’d even suggest that. I hadn’t known her long, but she knew I loved Sylas more than anything. She was the one I opened up to with ease when she simply asked about Sylas, and now I couldn’t even bring myself to open up here. “It’s just…” Dropping my shoulders, the clang of the knife hitting the marble island rang through the kitchen. “A really long story.”
“What happened?” she asked quietly.
I inhaled. I wasn’t ready to crack open that chest yet. I had locked it a long time ago, and only Wyatt really knew what was sitting there, but we didn’t talk about it. Cash was Sylas’s friend. He used to be mine. But then he was gone. I could feel the tears welling up. That stinging vibration that pushed and pushed until the tears fell. But like always…I stopped them and went back to my task.
“I’d rather not go there right now,” I mumbled.
Kyla raised an eyebrow.
“Rhett will tell you everything.”
Well…everything he knew .
Kyla’s eyebrow raised higher.
“Oh, don’t pretend like he won’t.”
“He won’t. Because I won’t bring it up. That’s your story to tell.” She hit the island and lifted herself off the chair. “You gave me time to tell you my story, just know that I’m here when you want to talk about it.”
She came around the counter and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, pulling me in for a side hug. I welcomed her warmth and leaned into her slightly, the small smile forming on my lips as she squeezed me tighter.
“Do we like him?” she whispered.
Sighing, I leaned my back to look at her. “Unfortunately, he’s a good guy, so don’t let me not making him a sandwich sway your decision on whether or not you like him.”
“You’re not making him a sandwich? There’s a lot of sandwiches here.” Kyla pulled away and looked at the now nine sandwiches sitting on the island.
“We have a lot of ranch hands…”
The sliding back door opened, and the three men came stomping inside, tearing off their winter coats before making their way into the kitchen. Kyla’s arm dropped from my shoulder as she made her way to her husband. Lachlan walked over to the counter, removing his hat and placing it top down before grabbing a sandwich, and Cash…
Cash made his way over next to Lachlan, fitting right in as if he had been here every single day. He took his hat off, his hair still flat against his scalp, a bit of cropped curl trying to escape. His hair had always changed. One minute it would be tight and short, the next, the curls I knew were there would want to break free. I had always asked to see a picture of him in his teenage years—he once claimed he had an afro. But now…now it looked the same as the last time I saw him. Sleek and trimmed to perfection. That was Cash.
Carolyn, his wife, always made him keep it perfect. She didn’t care for the hat hair that Lachlan would don after a ride. To her, the shorter Cash’s hair was, the better.
I cleared my throat as I watched him reach for a sandwich. I bit back that’s not for you. Instead, I met Lachlan’s gaze and tried to come up with something sensible to say.
“How long are you going to be here?” I snapped, clearing my throat again to break out my tone. Big girl pants, Abi. Big. Girl. Pants.
Cash lifted his chin, chewing that first bite of sandwich. One single eyebrow raised as his dark eyes focused on me. He swallowed, and a corner of his lips tipped up.
“Quinn’s healing for about ten weeks.”
“Lachlan told me we were boarding your horses for eight.” I glared at my cousin, but I could still feel Cash’s gaze heavy on me.
Cash’s half smile turned full force. “Eight to ten weeks of PT. It could be more if she doesn’t heal.”
“Quinn?” Kyla’s voice made Cash turn from me, and I was relieved to have the reprieve. The two minutes he was watching me felt more like an hour. I could focus back on these amazing bologna sandwiches and not on Cash. “The barrel racer who fell the other night.”
Cash nodded. “That’s her. She’s a spitfire and really upset she’s missing rides, so we train.”
“I didn’t know she was your client.” Kyla smiled.
“That she is Mrs. Hartwell.” Cash returned her smile before his gaze turned to me again. “Thanks for the sandwich, Abs. It’s delicious.”
Abs.
That’s the second time he called me that. Not that I was counting.
“It’s bologna,” I grumbled.
“Big girl pants, remember Abi.” Lachlan sneered.
“How’s Carolyn?” I asked, ignoring my cousin completely.
The room went silent, and after a few moments, Cash finally spoke. “Wouldn’t know. We’re divorced. Haven’t heard from her in years.”
Divorced?
“Oh,” I stammered. “Sorry to hear that.”
“Don’t be. I’m not.”
His voice was so sure. No regret in his tone whatsoever. From what I knew, Carolyn was his everything. He sure acted that way when they were married, at least. I saw the way he looked at her. It was the same way Sylas looked at me, the way Rhett looked at Kyla. Carolyn and I may have had our differences, but she was what Cash wanted. For them to get a divorce was kind of a surprise, and for him to not regret it…I wasn’t quite sure how to take that.
“Good riddance.” Lachlan patted Cash on the shoulder. “Pretty sure we celebrated when the papers were signed right?”
Cash let out a laugh. “We sure did. In different bars, in different states, but we celebrated.”
“I’m sorry I…I didn’t know.” I stammered.
Cash shrugged. “Didn’t think you would care.”
Okay, that stung.
Once again, I found myself grinding my teeth, forcing myself to keep it calm. I didn’t need to let five years of pent-up anger out right here, right now. It was eight to ten weeks of this man. I would survive. But I could feel it. I could feel the anger building my bones, starting at my metatarsals all the way to my ribs, caging in my pumping heart. My body was practically vibrating.
“Oh, would you look at that,” I shouted, louder than I intended. “It’s time to go pick up Stetson.” I dropped the knife on the counter, and pushed past everyone, leaving the kitchen as calmly as I could.
“But it’s only lunch time?” Lachlan questioned, his voice growing faint as I opened the front door.
At least I lasted longer than four seconds this time.