Chapter 3
At the sound of the back door closing, I turn, the water swirling around me. My first thought is that Nate had a change of heart and decided to join me, but the figure standing in the shadows is a little taller, and his shoulders are much broader.
Marcus.
My stomach flips. I expect to feel disappointed, but instead I’m intrigued. Sure, it would’ve been nice if it’d been Nate, but I really like Marcus. We have a lot of things in common, and I always enjoy our conversations.
“Changed your mind?” I ask.
“Just thought I’d put my feet in for a few minutes.” He sits near the built-in steps and lowers his legs into the water. “Great temp, huh?”
“Mmhmm. Not too chilly, not too warm.”
“And a clear sky.” He juts his chin upward. “Too bad there’s so much light pollution around here.”
“Have you ever seen the sky without any?”
“Oh, plenty of times. Used to take Nate camping at least three weekends every summer when he was younger. I’ll never forget the first time he saw the Milky Way. Kid was stunned.”
I hum. “I’ve never gotten the chance to.”
For the first time since he came out here, Marcus actually looks at me. His brows are furrowed. “Nate’s never taken you?”
“Camping?” I wrinkle my nose. “You know damn well I hate all that stuff.”
He laughs—the full-belly kind that lets you know it’s a real one. “Oh, I’d never forget. But I’m not talking about backpacking or camping.”
“Oh?”
“All you’ve gotta do is wait for a clear night and then drive out into the country. Get somewhere that you can pull off the road safely, turn off your headlights, and let your eyes adjust. It’s magical.”
“I… never thought of that.”
“No? Nate used to beg me to take him out at night. Loves the stars, you know? I never thought he’d stop.”
“I guess we got busy,” I say quietly. My gaze drops to the water, and I find a rippling reflection of regret and hurt staring back at me.
Yeah, my work has taken up a lot of my time, but it’s been worth it. Starting a fashion consulting business with little cash and few connections was hard. I lost track of the amount of all-nighters I’ve had to pull, but I did it. Things are running smoothly now.
I can’t deny that it took a toll on my relationship with Nate, but he’s been busy, too. Ever since graduating from college, he’s been gone every other weekend for work. And the weekends he is home, I’ve always made sure I’m free to spend time with him.
Still, it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough, and it’s beginning to look like I never will be.
“Maybe a little too busy?” Marcus prods.
I bristle. “Sometimes that’s just how life has to be.”
At my sharp tone, he raises an eyebrow. “You think I don’t know that?”
“No, I…” I shake my head. “I’m sorry, I know you didn’t mean it that way. Nate has just been getting on me about how much I work, and it’s hard to deal with sometimes. God, especially since he works just as much as I do. We’re just on different schedules.”
Marcus nods, watching me curiously. “That sounds difficult, Liliana. I’m sorry.”
“Thanks.” Immediately, the guilt sets in. I shouldn’t’ve snapped at him. “I’m just tired of him bullying me for doing the same thing that he does. We’re both passionate about our jobs, you know? And I’ve always put in an effort to make time for the two of us when I can, but…”
Shit.I really shouldn’t be getting into all this with Marcus. Nate asked me to act normal this weekend. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t include spilling all our problems to his dad.
“I could tell something was off between the two of you.”
I wince. “That obvious?”
Marcus nods, chuckling a little.
“I’m… not really supposed to say.”
Narrowing his eyes, Marcus leans back on his hands. “Why? What’d he do?”
“He… I really shouldn’t.”
“Liliana,” Marcus says, the firmness in his tone taking me by surprise. “If my son doesn’t want you to talk about the shit ways he treats you, then he should be a better fucking boyfriend.”
I swallow. Marcus is right, and I know it. But if Nate finds out, he’ll be so fucking mad. The little progress we’ve made will completely unravel.
“I can keep a secret, Liliana. You know I can.”
I think it over for a second that bleeds into a full-on minute of silence. As patient as always, Marcus waits, slowly kicking his feet in the water.
“It’d be nice to talk to someone about it,” I say, my voice even quieter than before. “It’s…”
Embarrassing.And though I appreciate my friends’ input, they all immediately told me to leave Nate. I think Marcus will have a more balanced perspective.
And I don’t think he’ll judge me or even come close to agreeing with his son’s line of thinking. The two of them are so different, and I saw the way he looked at me while I came down the stairs. “Undesirable” is never a word he’d use to describe me.
“I thought it was because of how much I was working,” I say, not bothering to hide the hurt in my voice. “We both agreed after graduation that we wanted to focus on our careers. Hit the ground running and make names for ourselves, you know? That’s what everyone says your twenties are for.”
Marcus’s eyes stay on me as he tilts his head, a small frown taking over his features. He doesn’t say anything, though. Just waits for me to figure out where I want to take this.
“We both encouraged each other to do things to further our careers. It’s why Nate takes work trips twice a month. And him doing that gave me more time to work on my business. With him gone every other weekend, I got a lot of work done without sacrificing time with him. And it worked—or at least, I thought it was working.
“But then Nate started acting differently. He started working later than we agreed, and he was distant when he was home. We went from always talking and laughing over dinner to basically eating in silence. I couldn’t figure out why, and whenever I asked, he just told me he was tired.”
“Was that the actual reason?” Marcus asks.
“No. I mean, maybe a little. We were okay with prioritizing our careers over each other every once in a while, but I think things got out of hand. And by the time I realized, it was too late. At least… that’s a small part of it.”
“And the big part?” he asks gently.
I lower my gaze. “He’s been cheating on me ever since graduation. I found out about a month ago.”
“He’s been what?”
“It’s his business trips,” I say, my face still tilted down toward the water. “The coworker he usually goes with—they just clicked, I guess. He told me I didn’t have to worry about her, but my initial suspicions were right. I let it go for so long because I didn’t really have any proof other than jealousy.
“Initially when I found out, I thought it was a more recent thing. Like, he’d only been seeing her for a couple months, so I blamed myself for not giving him enough attention. But turns out, this has been going on since he started his job after college.”
“He’s been cheating on you since graduation,” Marcus states, his tone flat.
I nod. “And back then, I thought we were fine. We were going on dates every night. We were happy. We were—”
Having amazing sex all the time.
I shake my head. “I don’t understand why he felt like I wasn’t enough, you know? And when I found out, it was awful. We had such a big fight about it. Well, not about the cheating—about me leaving. I was going to, but… god, I didn’t want to, Marcus. I wanted to try to make things work again. I wanted him to try. And I know—”
“Liliana.”
“—I’ve been working a lot lately, and it’s taken up a lot of my energy. I’m still me, just… not as fun, I guess. And our hobbies have never matched up, but I thought we’d found a happy medium. I thought—”
“Liliana, it’s not your fault.”
That finally gets me to stop and notice the concern in Marcus’s expression. His words sink in, but then I shake my head. “I still wasn’t enough for him.”
“That’s not a reflection on you. It just makes him a selfish, greedy bastard.”
“Marcus, you’re talking about your own son.”
“Then my son is a selfish, greedy bastard. Any man should be grateful to have you, Liliana. Grateful, awestruck, and desperate to worship you for the rest of his goddamn life. My son is an idiot for cheating on you, and he’s an idiot for not doing everything he can to make this right.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “He’s barely done anything.”
Marcus’s nostrils flare, and for a split second, a level of fury flashes in his eyes that I’ve never seen from him before. “Nothing?”
“We’ve tried to go on a couple dates, but he never really seems like he wants to be there. This trip was supposed to be a way for us to reconnect, but he told me at the last minute that you asked if we could come down.”
“I did no such thing,” he says sharply.
“I know. He said he lied because he knew you were lonely, and he was afraid I’d say no if he suggested we should come down here.” I roll my eyes. “Not sure I believe him anymore.”
“I didn’t realize,” he says, his tone heavy with an unwarranted apology. “When he mentioned it to me, he said it was your idea.”
“I suggested we come down for the holidays, not this.”
Working his jaw, Marcus looks out over the ocean. “Ah.”
“But I’m happy to be here,” I blurt. “Really, I am. I always like visiting you, and Nate and I can just spend time together here. If… if that actually happens. I don’t know.”
“Well, I’ll be gone tomorrow evening, so that’ll give you some time together. Got an anniversary party for some of my friends.”
“Marcus…”
Sighing, he pulls his legs from the pool and stands. “I should head in.”
“Marcus, look at me.”
Slowly—begrudgingly—he turns. His eyes meet mine, and my heart twists at the disappointment I find in them.
“I mean it,” I say softly. “I’m glad we’re here.”
“I know you are. I just don’t like being used.”
“What?”
Marcus sighs again, this time sliding his hands into the pockets of his swim trunks. “I have a sneaking suspicion my son suggested you two come down here so he could get out of being a decent person. I don’t fucking like it. And you, Liliana…”
I go stiff, and my eyes widen of their own volition. Is he upset with me, too? Oh god. What did I do?
“You deserve better than him. You deserve everything you’ve ever wanted.”
Oh.
I look away. “Maybe.”
At that, he frowns, but thankfully he doesn’t focus on it. “What do you want, Liliana?”
“I want us to go back to what we were.” Tears fill my eyes, but I blink them back quickly. “But what we had was a lie. And if I can’t have what we used to be without the lies, then I don’t know if we belong together anymore.”
Marcus nods slowly, his eyes searching my face. “Not to sound too stereotypical, but how does that make you feel?”
“Horrible. Disappointed. Scared.” My heart breaks as I realize the truth. “Do you… think he’ll start cheating again?”
“Do you think he’s fully stopped?”
I bite my lip. Finding out that Nate cheated was hellish enough. I came to surprise him at work and found him kissing his coworker in his office. It took him weeks to tell me the full truth of how long it had been going on.
“Liliana?”
“I don’t even know if he’s admitted to everything he’s done.” Tears prick at my eyes again, but this time they’re from shame instead of hurt. “I’m stupid for trying to make this work, aren’t I?”
“I think you’re scared, just like you said.” The sound of water splashing and moving fills the space between us, and when I look up, I find Marcus in the water. He’s wading toward me, his face shadowed.
“I don’t know how to move on.” My voice wobbles, but I manage to stave off actual sobs. “It’d be so messy. I’d lose so many friends who knew him first, one of us would have to find a new place to live, and I’d…”
I’d miss getting to see you.I’m a little shocked at that realization. Sure, I’ve had a little crush on Marcus for years. He’s hot as hell and he’s always been so nice to me. But it’s always been manageable—just something that makes me blush every once in a while. So realizing that I’d actually miss my boyfriend’s dad, possibly more than my boyfriend himself, feels… quite unexpected.
“Trust me, I understand how messy it gets. It’s even worse when there’s a kid involved.” Pain crosses over Marcus’s face, and then he gives me a sad smile. “There’s an element of letting go that’s hard to face, too.”
I nod. “Once it’s done, it’s done. And what if we can work this out? What if I can learn to trust him again? What if… what if what we had wasn’t all lies?”
“Those are all the right questions to be asking,” he tells me, but something about his tone tells me that’s not all he has to say on the matter.
“But?” I prod.
“But you’re missing a few things.” Gently, he places a bent knuckle under my chin and lifts my head so I’m gazing directly into his eyes. “What you want and deserve matters, too, little star.”
“Little star?” I whisper.
“For this.” With his free hand, he brushes his fingers behind my right ear, where the tiny tattoo of a star sits. I got it when I turned eighteen to mark a new era of my life—one full of chasing dreams and never settling.
I turn my head to the side and look down again. “I don’t think I deserve a nickname like that.”
Blowing out a long breath, Marcus tugs me into his body. His arms come around me, anchoring me to him, and I find my cheek pressed to his bare chest. Wherever his scent is coming from—deodorant or cologne or soap—it smells nice. Spicy and masculine and grounding.
“He really did a number on you, didn’t he?” Marcus murmurs. “I’m so sorry he’s putting you through this.”
Even though it’s probably a bad idea, I let myself relax into him. His one hand gently rubs my back, and it awakens a desire in me that’s immediately chased by bitterness.
Desire for a man who listens to me, who values loyalty, and who would hold me the way Marcus is right now. Bitterness because his son promised all of that only to toss me and what we had into the trash.
I wish I could…
But I stop myself from finishing that thought. What’s the point of wishing now? What’s done is done. What’s been promised has been promised. And even if it makes me naive, I’m not quite ready to give up on Nate yet.
“He can’t know I told you any of this,” I whisper.
“I won’t breathe a word of this to anyone.”
I sniffle. “You’re a much better listener than your son.”
With an apologetic smile, Marcus tilts his head down and places a quick, chaste kiss to the top of my head. “I wasn’t at his age either. He’ll get there.”
I’d prefer not to have to wait twenty years.
I almost voice the thought out loud but manage to stop myself just in time.
“Now let’s both get to bed,” he says. “Things will probably look better in the morning.”
“You think so?”
He hesitates, and when he tenses up, it’s a reminder that my body is touching his in more places than is probably appropriate. He got into the water to comfort me, but we’re past that now.
Now… I don’t want Marcus to move away from me.
“I hope so,” he says quietly, running a hand over his hair. It’s still brown, but there’s a bit more gray in it than the last time I saw him. “For your sake.”
When he steps back, his hands fall from my body. Even though it’s still plenty warm out here, I miss his heat.
I close my eyes. Get it together, Lily. This trip is supposed to be about you and the man who’s currently sleeping upstairs.
“Liliana? You coming?”
“Hmm?” When I open my eyes, I realize Marcus has already made his way over to the steps. “Oh. Yeah.”
We both get out and dry off, and then I head upstairs while he locks up. After a quick shower, I fall into bed next to Nate, who’s snoring softly. The desire for closeness spreads through me again, but I don’t move to touch him. Not when he barely said a word to me when he came up while I was changing. It felt like he would’ve preferred if we were in separate rooms.
My fingers drift to the star tattoo behind my ear, and I brush them over it the way Marcus did earlier. Then, with an annoyed huff, I drop my hand and roll over.
Don’t even let your mind go there. That’ll only lead to more heartbreak.