32. Marley
32
MARLEY
“ H ow are you feeling?” Megan asks. We’re in a small boutique in the Twin Cities, shopping for maternity clothes. I haven’t bought anything yet; I’m mainly looking for now. Josie keeps throwing things into the cart though, and I’m a little worried about what the total might be.
I sigh, unsure of how I want to answer the question. “Depends on the hour,” I reply with a soft laugh. “I’m not as nauseous lately, but I still feel like crap, and I’m exhausted more often than not.”
Megan rubs my shoulders. “That makes sense. You have a lot happening in your body right now.”
“When I was pregnant with Presley, I was sick the entire pregnancy. I had something called hyperemesis gravidarum. It was torture. I spent more time in the hospital than out toward the end of pregnancy. I constantly needed fluids,” Fallon says.
At the last minute, we called her and invited her out with us. It ended up working out amazingly. We dropped her daughter off with Nikki on our way out of town. Lennie was already there, so the two girls get to have a playdate.
“Thankfully, my morning sickness seems to have lessened. Now I only get sick maybe once a week. But none of my clothes fit anymore, so that’s fun.” I gesture to the shop around us. “Hence the shopping trip. I had a meltdown this morning in front of Beau, and he had to help me find something to wear. It was so embarrassing.” I cringe even remembering it.
“I’m sure he doesn’t care,” Josie says, holding up a forest green onesie with a baby fox on it. She points at the onesie, clearly obsessed with it. “I know we are shopping for you, but I can’t help it. I’m buying this.”
I chuckle. “I don’t think he minded, but he was so jumpy, like he was waiting for me to start screaming at him.”
Fallon laughs. “Oh he probably was. My ex was terrified of me, always scared I was going to freak out or start crying. Especially those first couple weeks when things stopped fitting the way they should.”
“My moods have been pretty unpredictable,” I agree. Josie throws the onesie into the cart, which definitely needs to be thinned out a bit. There’s no way I need all of these clothes.
“He’s probably treading carefully,” Josie says. “He wants to take care of you.”
I sigh. “I know. I just… I’m so all over the place. I don’t know what to think.”
Megan continues to rub my shoulders. “I’m sure he understands.”
We let the conversation die, and Josie changes the subject. “Fallon, how are you liking working for Meadow Grove?”
Fallon smiles widely. “I love it, and it’s been so fun working with Isaac. Even if I’m not working an event, he’s always finding things for me to do or giving me errands to run, and it’s amazing. I love keeping busy.”
“Good,” Josie says. “Isaac was saying that he and Jason are working on a contract to get Blue Ox served at the bar, that would be cool.”
“Wow, yeah, that would be awesome,” I interject.
“Isaac mentioned that to me last night actually,” Fallon says. “Definitely would be good publicity for both of them.” She turns her face away as if to hide a reaction.
“I agree,” Megan replies. We wander through the store, chatting about the winery, and how Josie will be extra busy next summer. The winter is slower for her—less weddings and more store front action, especially with Valentine’s Day.
My feet ache and my head pounds by the time we are finished shopping. We make our way back with way more bags than necessary in the back of the car.
“You okay, Mar?” Megan asks from the back seat.
“Tired,” I reply. “Pregnancy is annoying.” I rest my hand on my small belly and I suddenly get excited for when I can feel them moving inside me.
Fallon chuckles. “As the only one in the car who has been pregnant, I have to agree with you. It’s a pain in the ass, but the end is worth it. Presley is the best thing in my life.” Her voice turns melancholy.
“How old is she?” I ask.
“Six,” Fallon replies. “She’ll be seven in May. She’s such a good kid, and has taken all the drama from the last year in stride.”
I don’t ask her to elaborate. I know the minor details, but it’s not my place to ask for her to give the nitty gritty information on her personal life. We aren’t that close, though I hope someday we can be. I love her and the energy she brings to our little circle so far. She also seems like she’s going through a lot in her personal life. Though, she also gives me the impression that she’s not the type of girl to take any shit.
I watch Megan reach over and squeeze Fallon’s hand. Josie’s phone starts to ring as we make the final turn into town, of course, it’s Andrew.
“Hello?” she answers.
“Petals, when are you coming home?”
“Soon,” she says with a soft laugh. “We’re just getting into town, and I have to drop everyone off.”
He sighs heavily through the phone line. “Fine.”
“Why?” Josie chuckles.
The line is silent for a moment. “Velma and Travis miss you.”
Megan barks out a laugh, and I chuckle to myself. “Who are Velma and Travis?” Fallon whispers to Megan.
“Their dog and cat,” Megan says through her laughter. Even I’m laughing because Andrew is so head over heels for Josie. He is the definition of clingy.
“Are you sure they miss me?” Josie teases. “Or is it you?”
“What if it’s both?” he replies.
“I’ll be home soon, honey. Go work in the shop, and I’ll be there before you know it.” They finish up the call, and then my own phone is buzzing with a text.
Beau
When are you going to be home?
Me
Soon, why?
Have you eaten today?
I roll my eyes. Is he asking to be sure I don’t pass out, or is he asking if I’m hungry? He answers my question before I can even come up with a snarky reply.
Beau
My question is twofold. I need to know if you’re hungry, and if you have been keeping hydrated. Can’t have you passing out.
Me
We had a late lunch in the city, but I’m definitely hungry again.
I check the time on the dashboard, seeing that it’s not even five, and we ate around three. That’s annoying. I shouldn’t be nearly starving.
Beau
Craving anything specific?
His question makes me pause. Am I? I haven’t had many cravings, but it’s like his words flip a switch.
Me
I need pizza, but not from a chain place. I need the good homemade stuff from Pizza Palace.
Beau
You got it. Any special requests?
Pepperoni.
No, wait. That gives me heartburn.
Chicken Alfredo.
Fuck, I don’t know. It all sounds good. I want it all.
lol.
Sausage, pepperoni, black olives, onion and pineapple. I’ll take an antacid. Please don’t question my choices.
Never. I’ll pick it up and be home soon.
I’ll be home in twenty.
I slide my phone into the pocket of my purse as we pull into Nikki and Richard’s driveway. The lights are on next door at my parents’ house, and for a moment, I consider having Josie drop me off too. I miss my parents, even though I saw them just about a week ago. I need to make sure I spend more time with them.
We say our goodbyes to Fallon, then run across town to drop Megan off before heading to my place.
When we pull into my driveway nearly thirty minutes later, the kitchen light is on, and I can see Beau walking around inside. He must have just gotten home. My stomach rumbles with the promise of pizza.
Josie puts the car in park, and I groan when I remember all the bags. I didn’t buy nearly anything today except a handful of maternity items I insisted on purchasing myself, but the other girls did. They didn’t hold back from buying me clothes, a pregnancy pillow, and all sorts of other goodies. They even bought clothes, stuffed animals, and things for the babies, too. “You have to help me bring all this in,” I say with a huff.
“Duh,” she replies. “I totally went overboard, didn’t I?”
“Just a bit,” I chuckle, holding my fingers up and pinching them together.
“Worth it, those two are going to be spoiled rotten. I already spoil Lennie, so get used to it.”
I laugh, pulling my best friend in for a hug. “I love you,” I say, my voice thick with emotion. “I”m sorry I’m a mess right now, but I appreciate you more than you know. I needed this day.”
She squeezes me tightly. “I did too. We haven’t spent much time together lately, and that isn’t going to happen anymore. You’re going to get sick of me.”
“Deal,” I reply.
Together, we grab the abundance of bags and head inside. Beau’s standing in the kitchen in a pair of sweats and a short-sleeved shirt, plating the pizza. The wonderful aroma makes my mouth water and I have to stop myself from running across the room and swiping the plate from Beau’s unknowing hands.
“Jeez,” he says in lieu of greeting.
“It wasn’t me,” I defend myself.
“I can attest to that,” Josie says. “It was all me and some of Megan.”
“What is it?” Beau asks. As he turns, I see a layer of thin bandage on his upper arm just under the hem of his t-shirt. Did he get a tattoo today?
“Clothes for Marley, toys, the works,” Josie responds, walking down the hall to my room. “Marley, should I put this bag in the guest room? Is that where the nursery will be?”
I’m so distracted by the potential of Beau’s new tattoo that I don’t interrupt her to tell her to put it in my room. “Oh.” I hear her pause. “Nevermind!”
I groan, walking through the kitchen toward her. “Just throw it in my room for now,” I say as I get closer. “It’s a mess from this morning, but I’ll find a place for it all.”
I swing open my bedroom door, shocked to find it spotless. All the clothes that were strewn across the floor from earlier are now hanging in my closet or folded and placed neatly on top of my dresser. Beau must have cleaned it while I was gone.
“If this is your version of messy, we need to have a conversation,” Josie teases.
I shake my head. “No, uh. Beau must’ve cleaned up the clothes after I left.”
“Ahh,” Josie murmurs, as if that explains everything. “Should I put these in the closet for now?”
“Yes, please,” I answer. She puts the bags in a corner of my already stuffed full closet and pulls me in for a quick hug.
I lead her out into the kitchen, where we say a quick goodbye. Beau nods at Josie, mouth full of pizza. When the door clicks shut behind her, Beau steps over to me, taking my hand and leading me to the counter, sitting me down on a stool. He slides a plate with two slices across the counter to me.
“Thanks,” I murmur, picking up the slice and taking a huge bite. I feel awkward as I remember last night—the way his mouth felt on my breasts, the gentle tugs as he pulled the barbell free.
I moan around the mouthful of pizza.
“Good?” Beau asks, sitting down next to me.
“So good,” I mumble. I bet I look like the definition of a train wreck right about now, but I could care less. This pizza tastes like it’s my first meal in days. We eat in silence, and when I’m so full I can barely breathe, I wipe my face, tossing my napkin onto the plate. I look to my left and my eye catches on Beau’s upper arm again.
“Did you get a tattoo today?” I ask.
He glances down where I’m looking, as if he forgot, then replies, “Yeah. Thomas finally popped his tattoo cherry, so I figured I might as well get one too.”
I reach out, lifting the sleeve of his t-shirt up. Under the clear bandage is an intricate work of art. A large roman numeral clock takes up most of his upper arm, with three butterflies flying from twelve o’clock position.
My finger reaches up, lightly trailing over the bandaged skin. “Wow,” I breathe. “It’s beautiful.”
Beau takes in my reaction. I can feel his gaze on mine, watching closely as I try not to cry at the beauty of it. “It turned out really well. Something I’ve been thinking about for a while, but the timing never felt right. Until now.” He tilts my chin up so I’m looking into those brown eyes.
I can’t do this, not right now. If the butterflies now permanently etched on his skin have anything to do with me, or the butterfly on my forearm, I’m done. I’ll fall head first into the hole that has been tearing through my heart and into his waiting arms. Clearing my throat, I lean back. “What did Thomas get?”
Now that I’ve thoroughly ruined the moment, Beau clears his throat. He stumbles over his words, like he forgot what Thomas got. “Just a few trees on his back.”
“Did you take a picture?” I ask, already reaching out my hand. If there’s one thing Beau and I do best, it’s talk tattoos.
“Shit, no,” Beau mutters. “I’ll have him text me a pic though.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me one bit?” I laugh. “You always forget to take pictures.”
He laughs in response. “True story.”
Now that my stomach is full, I’m left with a bone deep exhaustion. “I’m off to bed, unless you need anything?” I ask.
“Not a thing. Let me know if you need something,” Beau says, the same thing he says to me every night before I go to bed. And every night, I think of the same thing as I lie alone in my bed, wishing I could ask him to climb in next to me and hold me. When I’m yearning for him to tell me that he’s going to be there, no matter what. No matter when things get bad for me, and I try to ruin us, the way I’ve effectively done so far. I want him to hold us.