Chapter 5
Northern California
Early the next morning, earlier than she’d risen in ages, Amanda took the stairs carefully, smiling as she held the railing with one hand and Zander in her other.
She felt like a little girl at Christmas.
Seriously. She had a house full of people and it made her kind of giddy.
She loved having everyone around, and they were around, like literally all the time.
It was still well before dawn, but she was getting tired of everyone doing so much for her, treating her like a fragile china doll.
Not that she wasn’t grateful for their help, but she needed to take charge.
Of her own life. Of everything. The oddest thing she’d felt lately was that even with her memory loss, something inside her felt whole.
She couldn’t explain it, and she’d tried.
In the kitchen, Amanda hit the brew button on the coffeemaker and sat with Zander on the sofa. As soon as she heard the machine sputter, she laid Zander in the bassinet and went for her first glorious cup of joe.
“Where’s Helen?”
Alexander watched Amanda finish pouring coffee, then reach for another mug. She turned with a conspiratorial grin. “I snuck away.”
She was adorable. Alexander took the coffee Amanda held out for him.
He meant to chastise her for being up and about with no help, like she should forever more be wrapped in cotton and protected, but her smile disarmed him.
That and the fact that she was wearing pajama shorts and her beautiful long legs and prime rear end had been the first thing he’d seen when he walked in.
So, instead, he took a large sip, placed the mug back on the counter, and asked her why she was up so early. It was barely five. She’d already brushed out her hair and put it up. She looked fresh faced and ridiculously gorgeous.
“I guess I’m starting to feel better,” Amanda told him.
“My head’s clearer. I feel rested.” She shrugged.
“And really, between Helen, Rosa, Sam, not to mention Stephen, Stan, and you, there really isn’t much for me to do.
It felt so good to wake up before everyone today, tend to Zander by myself, watch Callie sleep.
Jeez, I even brushed my teeth and hair all without anyone standing over me like I’m going to break. Mentally or physically.”
Aside from the security detail outside, the house was still quiet and empty this early. It would be at least another thirty or so minutes before they’d have company.
“I got to come downstairs with Zander and start the coffee all by myself.” She grinned again. “The coffeemaker had just sputtered to a stop when I put him down in the bassinet. Are you usually here this early?”
She knew he came over every morning to visit with his brother, but normally she wouldn’t have seen them until later as he and Stephen usually talked business quietly between themselves.
“I am,” Alexander answered. He wouldn’t miss checking on his family each morning for anything.
Besides it being a luxury he’d lived without for so long, it seemed a necessity to his well-being.
Taking over the estate next door made it terribly easy.
“Would you like to go outside?” he asked. “It’s warm enough already.”
Amanda nodded. “I’ll grab the mugs.”
“I’ll get the boy.”
He lifted Zander from his bassinet and settled him against his chest. As he started for the French doors, Amanda stopped him. “Wait.” He turned around. “Are you hungry?” she asked.
Alexander smiled down at her, shook his head, and told her that breakfast was in an hour, just like every day.
He turned toward the doors again then almost knocked her over when he turned back to ask if she was hungry.
He quickly reached out to steady her, but the only thing he could do with Zander in his arms was grasp her shirt.
The material twisted in his hand, so he brought her closer and waited until she found solid purchase.
This seemed to be happening often lately, and he couldn’t say he was upset about it.
She stared at him, still holding their mugs steady, her head tilting slightly to the side.
He waited, hoping perhaps she was remembering something.
Come on, you’ve got this, I love you, you’re my wife, we have two beautiful children, and I crossed centuries to be with you.
But then she shook her head, as if to clear it, and the moment was broken.
“Am I what?” she asked.
He smiled down at her. It took him a moment to remember just what it was he had asked her. “Hungry?”
“Why? You gonna cook me breakfast?” she teased.
His hand still fisted in her shirt, he brought her in a bit closer, and got right in her beautiful face. “I would hunt—kill—skin, clean, and cook for you.”
“Bloody hell, Montgomery, why have we been going to the grocery store?” she whispered.
“You haven’t answered my question.”
Her eyes widened and she blushed adorably. “What did you ask me?”
“Are you hungry?” he reminded her.
She shook her head. “Coffee’s good for now.” This time she motioned toward the French doors that led to the terrace.
They settled on the sofa. Alexander took up a considerable amount of space at one end, stretched out his legs, and adjusted Zander. Amanda leaned back against the cushions on the other and pushed her feet beneath the pillow next to him.
“So, Mr. Montgomery. How did you end up in the security business?”
Because I couldn’t find you. “Military background. Like most.”
“Great Britain?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you miss it?”
“Great Britain?”
Amanda laughed. “Yeah, Great Britain.”
He shook his head. “No, Amanda. I don’t.” He never wanted to set foot on British soil again.
“I don’t know why, but it scares me.”
She’d said that so quietly. He tilted his head as he looked at her. “Britain?” he asked, to clarify.
“Yeah, Britain.”
“How?” Though he absolutely knew why.
“You’ll think I’m crazy…but…I feel like I left the biggest piece of me there. I mean, we used to go all the time, but for some reason now…I feel like I…I…despise it.”
“Not crazy.”
Evan walked outside. “Well, good morning. I see we’re all up before the rooster crows.”
“Morning, Evan,” Amanda told him brightly. Then she whispered to Alex that she was planning to tell Evan that she was going to shave her head and join the circus.
Alexander chuckled as he looked at the face of his watch, then said, “Why don’t I give you some time together?
It’s still well before breakfast.” He stood and reached for Zander then made his way back inside.
After he’d closed the terrace door, he turned and watched as his wife closed her eyes and began her session with Evan.
Amanda smiled as she walked outside, marveling again at just how content she felt, despite all that had befallen her.
After another large family dinner alfresco earlier that evening, she’d found Callie standing on top of the stones by the fountain, singing as she hopped from one large boulder to the next, all the adults serving as her audience.
Stephen and Sam were laughing as she belted out A Great Big World’s “Rockstar.” Alex was leaning against the balustrade, sipping a scotch. She’d noticed he liked the Macallan she had in endless supply behind the bar. It suited him.
The sun was starting to set, and she’d just approached the balustrade when Alex reached his long arm out and touched her. She stopped by his side, seeing he had a perfect view of Callie, still singing but now jumping to the ledge of the fountain.
“I was thinking of taking a walk on the beach. Game?” she asked.
“Undoubtedly.” He reached out and fixed her hood.
She wasn’t sure it needed fixing, but the man had a penchant for physical contact.
He had uber large hands that were deceptively gentle, and each time she stood in front of him lately, she’d noticed that he touched her.
Brushed her hair back, fixed her collar, steadied her. “Is something bothering you?” he asked.
He was also perceptive. She didn’t want to say what was bothering her, because what was bothering her was that she really enjoyed his company.
She liked having him around. Yes, she liked having everyone around, but him most of all.
The worry, however, that had been slowly creeping through her thoughts, more so that evening, was that despite her feelings of contentedness at the moment, it may end.
She’d talked to Evan about it. Like, how did she maintain this feeling of security when the last person she’d had a relationship or whatever with had obviously left? When she didn’t even know if she could trust her own goddamned brain not to erase all her memories?
Beside her, Alex took another pull of scotch and offered it to her.
She accepted the glass from his hand, considering its contents.
“I think…” She tilted her head to the side, while he waited quietly.
When nothing came to mind, she shrugged and took a small sip of the amber liquid.
“I have four cases of the stuff and have no idea why.”
He smiled, nudged the glass, and called out to the others below that they were going to go down to the beach. Amanda took another sip of the scotch while Stephen grabbed a couple blankets from inside the ottoman and signaled to Michael they were all heading down.
Callie went ahead with Sam and Stephen while she and Alex followed at a slower pace, winding their way down the stairs toward the path.
Dusk was well upon them, making it difficult to see pebbles and rough spots, and she lost her footing at one point, Alex grasping her hand to hold her steady.
Maybe it was the scotch talking, or just her own daring, but she latched her other hand through the belt loop of his jeans for support.
After a second stumble, he stopped and knelt.
“Up, sweetheart.” Gladly, she climbed onto his back, wrapped her arms around his neck, and laid her chin on his shoulder as he carried her the rest of the way down.
Sam, Stephen, and Callie were still walking, but had left the blankets out not far from the path.
Alex pulled a flask out of his back pocket and grinned.
She laughed as he opened it, took a sip, and held it out in front of her.
“Amanda,” Alex said once they’d arrived and he’d set her down on the beach.
She waited for him to say more, but he just shook his head and gave her another of his deep, penetrating looks.
“Can you see that cluster of stars?” she asked after another long moment, pointing toward the sky.
“I can.”
“I can’t remember what it’s called. It’s right on the tip of my tongue but I just can’t retrieve it.” Which itself was really weird because Amanda didn’t think she’d ever been into constellations before. And it wasn’t like she was looking at the Big Dipper.
“Canis Major,” he said, knowing the answer right away.
Oh my god, he was right. “And that one?” she asked.
“Camelopardalis.”
He continued to name each one she pointed to, and when he stretched his own arm out and started naming even more constellations and stars, she had the most incredible feeling of déjà vu.
His knowledge of astronomy was impressive.
There was also something about the cadence of his voice that calmed her and made her feel safe.
Who was she kidding, he made her feel safe.
She loved listening to him speak. No matter what language he chose.
Not to mention his ridiculous British accent.
“How do you know so many?” she whispered.
“It was part of my studies,” he told her.
“What else did you study?”
“Astronomy covered a lot,” he laughed. “Physical science, mathematical law, philosophy. Latin.”
“You know Latin?” Amanda asked, incredulous.
He chuckled. “Yeah.”
“And then why astronomy?”
“I had to learn how to look up to the sky and know where I was. How the cycles of the moon would affect the tides.”
“Oh, of course—ships,” she said, smacking her palm to her forehead—he was an admiral, obviously. “Did you ever get caught in storms?”
“Often,” he replied, chuckling at her gesture.
“Were you scared?”
“I didn’t have time to be. I had men depending on my knowledge and instincts to get them home safely.”
She nodded. “Determined.”
“What about it?”
“It describes you perfectly.”
“I’m human, Amanda. I’ve had my moments.”
She laughed then. “I’m not so sure about that. Are you sure you’re not a superhero in disguise?”
He sighed. “Superheroes don’t always win.”
She shook her head. Vehemently. “They do, Alex. They might struggle and even seem to lose ground, but they always win. In the end, they always win.”