Chapter 5
Angie
Sometimes you'll know a man for years
and then one day, boom!
~ Sarah Dessen
I pace the front room, wearing a skirt for the first time in forever.
It’s Friday night. I told EJ he could take me to dinner tonight. I’ve second-guessed that choice a thousand times since I first gave him the green light.
He’s dangerous.
Too sweet.
Too thoughtful.
Too handsome.
One dinner. It’s just one dinner.
He wants more. I know he does. He knows he does.
But he keeps insisting it’s just dinner.
“You’re going to wear straight through the floorboards,” Mom says.
“What’s a floorboard?” Levi asks from his spot on the floor.
He and Jack are in matching pajamas with fire trucks all over them. Their teeth are brushed and they’ve had their bath. Now they’re just playing with toys for the hour before my mom puts them to bed for me.
The firefighter pajamas came in a two-pack. The other set has a baseball-and-glove motif. They were on sale. I’m not giving a nod to the handsome fireman about to pick me up for dinner. We’re not head-over-heels for firemen over here. They’re just pajamas.
“Where you going, Mommy?” Jack asks.
“Out with a friend.”
“Where out?” Levi asks. “Outside?”
“To a restaurant. To eat dinner.”
“You can eat here. Have some macaroni,” Jack offers.
“I want to go to a restaurant!” Levi shouts.
I walk over to the spot where the boys are sitting, LEGOs strewn all around them. “I tell you what.”
“What, Mommy?” Levi asks.
“You do a good job going to sleep for Granny and we’ll think about going out to the Dairy Mart tomorrow. Okay?”
“The one with the cow?” Jack asks.
“The one with the cow.”
“Okay, Mommy,” Levi says.
“You going to the cow one?” Jack asks.
“No. I’m going to a different one. It’s more boring.”
Levi’s face scrunches up. “Why?”
“Because adults aren’t as fun as kids.”
“Got that right,” Mom says from her spot on the couch.
I chuckle.
“I’m being fun,” I remind her.
“’Bout time.”
“I thought you were boring,” Levi says.
“I’m being a little boring. But more fun than I usually am.”
“Why?” Jack asks.
It’s their latest thing. Why? And then, why? And it goes on until I simply start answering, “Because.”
“Because I save all my super fun for you two.”
“Oh,” Jack says.
And then, right on cue, Levi says, “Why?”
There’s a knock at my door and I look up, frozen for a moment.
“Do you want me to get it?” Mom asks.
“No. I’m going.”
“Just a minute!” I shout.
Then I lean over and kiss and hug each of the boys. “Be good for Granny.”
“We are,” Levi says.
“We always do,” Jack adds.
Mom laughs lightly.
They’re precious. But always good? Well, that’s debatable.
I stand, smoothing my skirt and taking a steadying breath as I look around the room. Then I walk toward the door, opening it in one brisk motion. I slip out and practically smack into EJ as I pull the door quickly shut behind me. He steps back, a big, warm smile on his handsome face.
Dangerous. Lethal, even. I could die from just looking at this man.
His eyes are fixed on mine. His smile is unrestrained. He’s not even trying to play it cool. He really likes me.
I feel all fluttery. My stomach does this swooping thing it hasn’t done in ages—if ever.
“Bye!” Mom shouts from inside the living room.
“See you!” I shout.
I hear Levi shout, “I wanna see Mommy’s friend!” as I grab EJ’s arm and turn him toward the street.
“So, I’m not saying hello to the boys?” he asks, still smiling.
“I don’t want to confuse them.”
He nods.
No argument.
EJ places his hand on the small of my back and chills radiate up from where he touches me.
Not cold chills—these are the kind that feel way too good.
I could wriggle away—put space between me and the way he makes me feel—but I don’t.
This is one night. I’m going to indulge myself in all of it.
EJ knows it’s one date. I made it clear. I’m not leading him on.
I relax just the slightest and EJ smiles down at me as if he could notice even the smallest shift in my posture.
“You look beautiful—more beautiful than usual,” he says.
I laugh. Not just a giggle or a light titter, either. I almost snort.
“What?” he asks.
“I don’t know. I’m just not used to … this.” I wave my hand between us.
“To me putting my hand on your back?”
“That,” I admit. “But also … compliments … the way you look at me …”
“How’s that?”
“Like … I don’t know. You just stare at me.”
“Because I like looking at you,” he says. “You’re beautiful.”
Again with the beautiful.
“Thank you,” I say softly. “You look nice too—really nice.”
And he does. He’s wearing a navy button-up shirt that looks extra crisp, khaki pants and some dress shoes.
He’s a firefighter, which means he takes care of his body for work.
He has to be able to put on over forty pounds of equipment and run into fires—ready to carry someone out if needed.
And he looks like all that is true. His body is a study in muscles, even through a dress shirt.
His face has a boyishness to it despite the fact that he’s turning thirty this year.
The boyishness comes out mostly when he smiles or laughs. The rest of the time, he’s all man.
EJ opens my door. I step up and slide in past him, catching a whiff of his cologne on the way. He’s warm and spicy and I want to burrow my head into the crook of his neck to breathe him in.
He should have wrapped himself in caution tape and worn a blinking light on his head.
While he jogs around the front of the truck, I take a deep breath, muttering, “Get a hold of yourself,” to myself. “He’s just a guy and you’re just going to dinner.”
His door opens and he hops up into the driver’s seat. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. I was just … giving myself a pep talk.”
“A pep talk, huh?” He smiles over at me. “Is the date already going that badly?”
“I’m completely out of practice. I haven’t dated since before I got pregnant with the boys. Their dad left while I was pregnant.”
“I know,” he says. “You might forget, Angie, but I’ve known you since you were in kindergarten.”
“I know. I just didn’t know how much of my story you were familiar with.”
“All of it,” he says easily. “Or at least I think I am. But tonight’s not about the past. And you’re under no pressure to remember how to date. You just be you and let me take you out on this one dinner. Okay?”
I blow out a soft breath. “Yeah. Okay.”
“You want music?” he asks.
“Sure.”
He turns on the radio and then he says, “Pick what you like.”
I flip through stations until I find one I like and then I sit back in the seat, enjoying the opportunity to be a passenger for a change of pace.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask EJ.
“It’s a surprise.”
“I did like those Mad River burgers,” I tell him.
“Well, maybe you’ll let me take you there next year.”
“Next year?”
“On the next night out of every three hundred and sixty-five you allow me to have with you.”
“EJ!” I practically shout, shaking my head and laughing.
“You mean I might get one sooner than that?”
I don’t answer him. And he doesn’t press the issue.
We weave through town, and then he takes the road out toward the ranches on the east side of town. When he pulls into the parking lot of Ulysses S. Grant steakhouse, I turn to him.
“EJ! Grant’s?”
“Hmmm?” He’s the picture of innocence.
“This is a date night restaurant.”
“That it is.” He pulls the keys out of the ignition and opens his door, jogging around the front of the truck to open mine.
I hop down.
“This is too fancy,” I tell him.
“Did you want me to take you to the Dairy Mart for a slushie and a corndog?”
I laugh. “No. Not really. Anyway, I’m taking the boys there tomorrow night.”
“Well then, let’s go enjoy some steak.”
“Alright,” I relent.
He puts his hand on my back again. I can’t help myself when my eyes drift shut for half a second.
I hope he doesn’t notice. I touch people all day long, draping them with capes, washing their hair, cutting and styling.
Some of my customers hug me. Then I get home and the boys climb me like a jungle gym.
We have bedtime snuggles every night. I’m not starving for touch.
But this? The way his hand feels on my back?
It feels like the first time I’ve been touched in years.
EJ gives the hostess our name and she weaves through the front room, leading us to a table in the back corner of the back room, close to the large stone fireplace.
It’s not lit this time of year, but in the winter, they always have it going.
We’re next to a window that looks out over a bunch of open land with woods at the distant edge.
The sun is going down and the whole world looks a little magical.
The waitress stops by our table to ask us what we want to drink. I stare at the menu like I’ve never read a list of beverages before.
“What’s something you never get?” EJ asks me—as if the waitress isn’t standing there waiting.
I stare back at him, directly into his eyes, which are chocolate brown and lightly crinkled around the edges—his easy warmth, aimed straight at me.
“I like lemonade,” I say, practically losing track of where we are and what I’m actually saying.
“Strawberry lemonade?” he asks, not taking his eyes off mine.
“I do like that,” I admit, like it’s a secret and he’s the only one who can know.
“Two strawberry lemonades,” he says, turning to the waitress.
“I’ll be right back with those,” she says.
Then EJ turns back to me. “I like the way they make them here. They dip the rim of the Mason jar in sugar. And they put chunks of the berries in the drink. So good.”
I smile, resting my elbows on the table and my chin on the back of my interlaced hands.
“You’re always happy, aren’t you?” I ask him.
“Definitely not,” he says a little too quickly.
“No?”
“No. I was in sheer misery before you said yes to this night out.”
“Stop it, EJ,” I warn him.
“I’m not joking.”
“Okay. Well, besides when I was making your life miserable. You’re happy most of the time.”