Chapter 18
18
KATRINA
I point out my house down the street, thinking that Goldie will slow down, but her foot doesn’t touch the brake until we’re almost right in front of my mailbox.
We lurch to a stop and Logan happily tosses his door open, looking to escape her getaway-driver style of driving, too.
He pulls the seat forward and offers me his hand. I stare at it for a moment; the butterflies taking over my stomach as the question of Logan Shock’s gentleman status becomes even clearer.
I take his hand. “Thank you,” I say, stepping out.
Before he can return to the car, Goldie shoves the seat forward and climbs over it to steal his seat.
“We’re just gonna circle the block,” Tesla says, putting the car in drive. “Give you two a chance to have a proper goodbye.”
Logan hops back as Goldie slams the door on him. “Tessie...” he warns.
“Can’t hear you! Engine all rumbly. Byeeee!”
They speed off down the street, barely pausing at the first stop sign before taking a hard right around the block.
I chuckle. “Are they always so...?”
“Unsubtle?” Logan suggests. “Intrusive? Annoying?”
“I was gonna say peppy, but since you said them first.”
Logan laughs. “Honestly, stick any word you want at the end of that sentence. It probably applies.”
We walk to the porch. I fish my house key out of my handbag and unlock the door, feeling Logan’s eyes on me the whole time. One glance confirms it, his piercing gaze hovering on my cheek. My nose. My lips.
“I had a great time,” I say. “Thanks for the pizza. Next time, it’s on me?”
“Yeah,” Logan says. “Next time.”
I glance at the street, thinking Goldie and Tesla should come back around any second now, but I don’t hear the car yet.
“Do you want to come in?” I ask.
Logan hesitates.
“I meant until the girls get back,” I say quickly. “Not for... anything else. Obviously. I know you said before that you didn’t want to.”
He smiles. “I didn’t say that.”
“No. You said I was lovesick and it would be wrong for you to take advantage.”
“Oh, I know I didn’t say that,” he says, amused. “That doesn’t sound like me at all. In fact, if I recall, I said I’d be your willing pup.”
“I recall that, too,” I say, blushing through a smile. “And I’m still not entirely sure what that means exactly, so I’m just gonna blow past it and say... Goodnight, Logan.”
“How are you?” he asks, stopping me from walking in with a graze of the arm.
“Me?”
“With that lovesick thing,” he explains, his hand brushing his heart. “How are you holding up?”
“Oh. Uh… I’m okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Actually, yeah. I am.” I smile, genuinely. “I think I’ve already plowed right on through the woe-is-me stage of grief, and thanks to Tesla and Goldie, I reached the retail therapy stage in record time.”
Logan chuckles. “Happy to hear it.”
“And I, uh...” I pause, thinking of the band meeting earlier today. “I’m actually glad we got a chance to talk here, because I wanted to say thank you. And that you were right.”
He blinks, intrigued. “About what?”
“That you and I shouldn’t do this.”
“Oh, I definitely never said that .”
“Well, I’m saying it now.” I look down. “We shouldn’t do this.”
Logan shifts a half-step back. “Oh,” he says, looking more disappointed than I expected.
“My band had an emergency meeting this morning, and?—”
“Ah.” His smile returns. “Big brother and friends don’t approve, huh?”
“Very much no.”
“Prissy chewed me out, too.”
“She did?”
“Only a little,” he says. “And only because it gave her more work to do. Girl despises phone calls.”
“Jordan got overwhelmed, too.” I sigh. “They all have their concerns and... honestly, so do I. I mean, we have this Battle of the Bands coming up. The last thing we should do is?—”
Logan juts forward and kisses me, his hands cupping my face. I stiffen in surprise one second, his lips grounding me the next. I can help but touch him back, my fingers curling around his jacket as he kisses me harder.
“Sorry,” he whispers as he catches his breath. “I figured if I didn’t do that now, I wouldn’t have another chance.”
I nod, seeing his point. I think.
What was I saying before?
He lays a kiss on my cheek and pulls away, but I keep my grip on his jacket. He notices, glancing down, his hand coming to drift along my fingers.
“Kitty,” he whispers. “I?—”
I pull him back to me, stealing another kiss.
Logan grabs me again, his arms curling around me, his hands gliding downward. They stop at the small of my back and a warm tickle invades my senses, making me roll my body against his. A breathy groan escapes his lips and I part mine as his tongue slips in to caress mine.
“Logan,” I whisper, heat radiating off my skin. “Do you want to come in?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” he growls.
I push the door open, accidentally shoving it hard enough for it to slam into the small table in the entryway. It quivers against the wall, the flower vase on top almost toppling over from the impact. I’m too busy to care, Logan’s arms still locked around me as we stumble inside.
Once we’re through the doorway, Logan kicks the door closed behind us. His grip on my hips tightens and before I can even take a breath, I’m lifted into the air, the world spinning as Logan thrusts me hard against the back of the door.
A gasp is all I manage before his mouth crushes mine again, stealing my words and my breath. I nearly crumble beneath his touch, his bruising kiss. His hands drift down my body again, wrapping around my waist, drifting lower and lower until both palms settle on my ass. He gives it a firm squeeze, and I yelp in surprise, a sound quickly silenced by the feel of his body grinding against mine.
The outline of his erection pushes against my belly, and I nearly stop breathing.
Yeah, that’s new.
There’s a lot of new happening here.
Logan drops his kiss to my chin, then my neck. I breathe, trying to think, but at the moment, I’ve forgotten how.
“Kitty,” Logan whispers, his tongue flicking my right earlobe. “You taste so good.”
I quiver, his low growl making my knees do that crumbly thing again. “Uh-huh,” is all I manage before he kisses me, sucking the words right off my tongue.
I grip his jacket harder, pulling him even closer. He grabs my ass again in response, this time lifting me off the floor as he straightens to his full height. Another spinning rush overwhelms my senses as he turns and moves into the living room, easily carrying me across the room toward the couch.
I fall into it after he sets me down, pushed into submission by his hard kiss. He follows me, hiking up my skirt as his knee thrusts forcefully between my legs to spread them apart.
Words fail as I lie back, trapped under him, his form towering over me in the dark. Logan shucks off his jacket and tosses it to the floor. I can barely see the details, but I can see the way his shirt stretches as he leans over me, his muscles flexing as he holds himself up.
“God, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispers.
Desire mixes with fear of the unknown. I must have read this same scene in a hundred different books, but there was always a disconnect, always the chance to close the book when it became too much. But here, now, I freeze, feeling the push of his erection against me, this time at the apex of my thighs. My body reacts to it, throbbing and pulsing with need, a wet spot forming in my underwear.
But my stomach squeezes with dread.
“Logan...” I whisper.
He kisses me, cutting off my words. “I want you,” he says. “I’ve always wanted you.”
He... what?
An ache of pleasure flows through me as his kiss comes to my neck again. I feel his palm cup my breasts, my nipple pebbling beneath it. He pinches it through my dress and I buck my hips in surprise, making him groan in pleasure.
“Yes,” he whispers, his tongue teasing my collarbone. “Tell me you want it.”
I tremble, still unable to speak, as my thoughts run wild.
What am I doing?
I shouldn’t be doing this.
Why did I invite him in again?
Unless this is what I wanted all along. Is that bad? Oh, fuck, that’s bad, isn’t it? Maybe not for any other man.
But this is...
“Logan—” I lurch again, his teeth biting my hard nipple through my dress.
He kisses the valley between my breasts and continues downward, sliding back on the couch as he pushes my dress further up my thighs. “Say it again,” he growls, his fingers curling around my underwear. “Say my name while my tongue is inside you.”
Oh, god.
I’m not ready.
I’m not ready.
I’m not ? —
“Stop!”
I push up to sit, nearly kicking him by accident as I straighten my legs.
“Wait, please. Can...” I cover my face with my hands, my cheeks burning as red as a stoplight. “Can we slow down for a second?”
Logan backs off. He inches away, his weight shifting toward the other side of the couch. I shift back, giving him space as I push my dress back down to my knees.
“Sorry,” I whisper, full of shame. “I didn’t mean to?—”
“It’s all right, kitty,” Logan says, staying back.
“It’s just that I, uh...” I keep my head low, hoping his eyes haven’t adjusted to the darkness enough to see the blood in my cheeks. “I didn’t expect that we’d?—”
“It’s okay,” he says, his voice low and soothing. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
I turn, putting my feet on the floor, sitting forward to catch my breath. My stomach twists with failure, with regret. Because yes! Slow down is exactly what men like to hear. A real turn-on, right? That’s what Knox and Jonah always write their songs about, isn’t it? Taking it slow?
Down down baby, but only if you’re not too chicken!
“Katrina,” Logan says, his weight shifting until he’s sitting beside me. “You saved yourself for him, didn’t you?”
I pinch my eyes closed, wanting to curl up into myself until I disappear.
“Is that stupid?” I ask.
Logan makes an amused noise. “No,” he answers. “You wanted to share the experience with a man you loved. A man who should have loved you, too. There’s nothing stupid about that.”
I lift my head, surprised by his words of comfort. I’d expected a mocking joke. Some cruel quip, perhaps. But not understanding. Patience. Empathy.
He rests a hand on my shoulder. I look at him, his features muted in the dark, but he’s no less handsome for it.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
He shakes his head, brushing it off.
I glance at the front door. “I’m sure the girls are getting tired of circling the block by now,” I say, giving him a way out.
But Logan chuckles. “Oh, they’re long gone by now.”
“Then, should I call you a cab?” I offer.
Another shake of his head, and Logan reaches for my hand.
“Come on,” he says, rising off the couch, giving me a tug to follow. “Give me the grand tour.”