Chapter 1
Chapter one
Izzy
The smoke from the bonfire twirls upwards, sending red sparks dancing into the breeze.
It’s hypnotizing and fascinating, zoning me out to the bustling conversation around me.
Unlike the chatter, the fire is dying down, leaving the sound of the lingering embers crackling over the voices that fill the night.
The warmth from its remnants still comforts my exposed skin.
I can’t help but think of how similar we humans are to a piece of firewood.
One second, we’re fine, and then the next, something sets us ablaze.
We burn and shine the brightest we’ve ever had.
For those moments, everything seems perfect, as it should.
Sure, the fire show may be pretty while it lasts, but that’s the thing: it never lasts. Every beginning has an ending. Eventually, the flames die down, leaving us charred by their wake and forever changed. Not everything burns bright forever. Not everything is as pretty as it seems.
One year ago, I gave my trust more freely, without significant concerns. One year ago, the thought of betrayal and heartbreak felt somewhat foreign. One year ago, everything changed, and I changed with it.
Fuck it.
Growing laughter snaps me out of my dazed thoughts. Was I really just comparing my life to a piece of wood? Not to mention, thinking about that shitstorm of a day. Damn. I shake my head slightly, attempting to clear my thoughts and listen to what’s being said.
“He fucking deserved it. He’s had it coming for a while now. He should know better than to try to get with my girl,” Ander says, matter-of-fact, pulling Via into his side. She giggles as she leans into her boyfriend’s hold and looks passionately into his eyes.
Gag. They’re so cute together that it’s almost gross.
Boyfriend and girlfriend is the biggest understatement for what Ander and Via are to each other. They grew up together and fell hard in love when hormones became a thing. Soulmates is a better label. It’s like one can’t fucking breathe without the other.
Gag. Again.
“You know, y’all could just go and fuck already,” I blurt out, earning me a few well-deserved eye rolls.
“Not everything has to be about sex, Izzy,” Via chokes out through an embarrassed laugh.
I laugh incredulously, ignoring her as I push to stand.
“Come on, Beast,” I say to Jett, Ander’s older brother. I pat his shoulder before walking past him without waiting for him to follow. I don’t have to question it. I know he will come after me—he always does.
“Beast?” Jett spits out with a laugh as he stands and walks toward me. “Is that your new term of endearment for me, Iz?”
“Absolutely.” I look back over my shoulder, flashing him a smile.
“Have you not seen the size of yourself and the beast you’re hiding in your pants?
” I shrug and then reach for his hand. “Because I have, and trust me, it’s fitting.
Now let’s go make everything about sex while these two settle for cuddling. ”
He snorts out a laugh as he takes my hand in his, interlacing our fingers.
“I’ll be your Beast because that makes you my Beauty.” His full smile makes my heart flutter for a moment before I rein that bitch back in.
Down, dumb bitch, down.
“Oh, you think this is a fairytale? Cute,” I tease. “Do you think the princess gave the beast good head?”
“What the hell am I going to do with you?” he asks, shaking his head.
I raise a challenging eyebrow. “Preferably? Every dirty little thing you can imagine, if we’re spitting out ideas here.” I giggle, then throw him a seductive wink.
“Spitting out ideas, huh?” The rasp and seduction in his tone send a shiver down to my core. “See, I thought, from our previous experiences, that you were more of a swallower. But then again, what do I know?”
“Mhm, that is so, Sir,” I quip back.
I look up at him over my shoulder as we continue walking toward his family’s empty beach house. Thankfully, his family will be gone for a few more hours, leaving us plenty of time.
I can’t fucking wait.
Jett is a dream of a man, with a chiseled and muscular body, the kind that’s earned from hours of hard work.
Not the hard work you’d find solely in a gym, but the type that comes along with years of manual labor on his family’s ranch.
He’s the definition of tall, dark, and handsome.
I mean it. Look it up in the dictionary, and you’ll find his damn picture there with a panty-dropping, perfect smile radiating through the page.
“Call me sir again, and we won’t wait to get to the house.” His stunning sunburst eyes stare into me, causing my heart to flutter. “I’ll take you right here on this beach.” His words come out low and deep, lust apparent in his threat.
Closing in behind me, he wraps his arm around my waist, spinning me to face him.
He towers over me, standing about six-foot-four.
Our height difference is drastic, and I have to strain my neck backward to meet his eyes.
I know this game—he’s trying to intimidate me with his size. Not happening, buddy.
He should know by now that I never back down from a challenge.
“You don’t scare me, sir,” I say with a cocky smirk plastered on my face.
Not immediately reacting, he courses a hand through his short, cropped jet- black hair that is always somewhat spiked.
He slowly bites down on his bottom lip, staring into me as if he’s sizing me up.
His hooded, hazel eyes can bring any woman to their knees with little effort.
If I had to pick my favorite feature of his, it would undoubtedly be his stunning eyes, where amber, almost gold-like, radiates around his pupils before molding into a light green.
“I fucking dare you,” I push on, both of my eyebrows arched, questioning his next move.
Like always, he takes the dare, swooping me into his arms and cradling me in one swift motion. Before I know it, he’s crashing his mouth to mine briefly and taking us both down to the ground right below the levee.
With me on top of him, straddling his lap, his hands tighten around my hips.
In an instant, my mind flashes back to that night. Not when my father broke my trust, but the night that broke my concept of love. The night that everything changed for me. The night that shaped me into who I am today.
Even when I told Chad I wasn’t ready to take that step, he took something that didn’t belong to him.
I was young. Before that moment, I had some idea of love. I wanted love.
Afterward and to this day, I don’t want it at all.
Chad broke me, and my heart was crushed. It was then that I swore off allowing myself to feel for a guy again. Why allow someone that power over you just to end up a victim of their carelessness?
I’ll fuck men, and I fuck them well, but my body is the only part of me that they have access to.
Fuck feelings.
Fuck love.
So yeah, I have every right to guard my heart. Witnessing the ugliness that is the betrayal of trust and love by none other than my own father, and a boyfriend who took without consent.
All that said, Jett just seems different.
Jett and I have been friends for years, ever since I started coming down to the island with Via during the summers.
He always intrigued me, especially in my younger teens.
We are so alike when it comes to our ideas of dark humor, smart mouths, and avoidance of commitment.
Yet, we are also so different at the same time. Somehow, we just mesh.
As we grew up, there was no denying our physical attraction to one another.
We’ve always found ways to hang out outside of summer visits to the beach houses on the island.
My mom just so happens to be his family’s personal accountant and does the books for their ranch in Mississippi.
I tend to tag along on her visits just to sneak off to see him.
Even before things were sexual between us, I just liked being around him.
Last November, after my eighteenth birthday, I hit him with an offer he couldn’t refuse.
No feelings.
No emotions.
No attachment.
We can still sleep with whoever we want, whenever we want. However, when either of us wants or needs amazing, mind-blowing sex, we go to each other.
He gets that I want to keep things strictly casual.
He doesn’t push past those boundaries because it’s also all he wants.
It’s the perfect arrangement. He makes me laugh, he’s great in bed, and as a perk, I actually enjoy being around him, even when his cock isn’t inside of me. Which is weird for me.
In the beginning, when I made him promise not to fall in love with me, he scoffed at the thought. I knew then that we were compatible.
Because of how easy things are with him, I find myself constantly wanting to be near him. Somehow, he brings a sense of peace over me. A type of calm that I struggle to find on my own. Jett breaks our kiss, searching my face. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, voice low, just above a whisper.
“About what?”
“About whatever was invading your thoughts back there. I see you, Iz.”
“Right now? You want to talk, now?” I scoff. “Fuck no”
His face flashes with a look of disappointment, but he doesn’t falter or pull back.
My heart begins to pick up its pace at the sight of him below me, looking at me like I’m a meal he’s dying to devour, yet longingly at the same time. We stay there for a moment, looking each other over, appreciating one another. Feeling one another beyond the physical.
It’s overwhelming.
It’s too much. Too personal. Too intimate.
So, I do what I do best.
“Are you going to fuck me with your eyes or your dick? Personally, I prefer the latter. Unless you’re too—”