Chapter 9
Chapter nine
Jett
"We're sorry, your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. The number you have reached has a voicemail box that has not been set—"
"Damn it!" In a deep growl, I shout through the silence, ending the call and throwing my phone across my bedroom.
It’s all been shit since that day.
We found Via and Ander at the beach house.
What followed was one of the worst days of my life.
Still, it was a cake walk compared to Via’s day.
She lost everyone. Her dad, mom, and sister.
Everyone except her scumbag brother, Liam.
Understandably, something snapped in Via that day, and she, in turn, broke Ander’s heart, tossed him to the side like he meant nothing.
I haven't heard back from Izzy in days, and it's been tough as shit.
The last time she answered my call was so I could check on Via for Ander.
Now, every call to her goes unanswered and unreturned.
Not only is my little brother hurting from his loss of not having Via in his life, but I'm just here trying to be strong for him while I'm the one suffering alone in silence.
Clearly, she’s busy with Via, just like I'm busy with Ander, but she could take a fucking second to reach out to me, even if she doesn’t want more; we’re still friends, damnit.
Part of me is pissed at her for the distance she insists on placing between us, while the other part just misses her and wants to hear her voice.
If this were anyone else, I would’ve given up long ago.
On her, I just can't. She's the one for me.
I know it, and she knows it. She's just too chicken shit to act on it.
Instead, she takes the coward's way out and pushes me away until she can't take the distance anymore.
I'm sick of playing by her rules, and quite frankly, I'm over her game of tug-of-war.
Getting more annoyed with each passing second, I pad through my room to my phone. As much as I would like to say fuck the phone call and show up at her house, demanding she speak to me, I can’t. Or, I won’t.
If I saw Via while Ander’s suffering and didn’t bring him along, he’d never forgive me. And I’d never forgive myself for being a shitty, selfish brother.
So, picking up the phone, I decide to call in for backup, and he answers on the first ring.
"Hey, Jett!"
"Kas," I clear my throat before continuing.
Izzy’s older brother, Kasten, and I are good friends; we always have been.
He's actually one of my best friends. We just click.
Although he hasn't been too fond of me messing around with his sister, he knows my feelings for her run deep.
It's obvious, just by the way I am with her. Hell, it’s obvious to everyone except her, apparently.
Although he accepts me and Izzy's "situationship," I don't typically discuss her with him.
I respect him and our friendship too much to push that boundary.
"How's it going?" I attempt to keep my words even, but my voice falters, causing the words to come out pained.
Kas lets out a laugh that lacks humor. "Don't bullshit me. I can hear it in your damn voice... You aren't calling to see how I'm doing. What's really up, Jett?"
"Izzy. I know she has her hands full with V, but I'm just—"
"You're just fucking whipped, is what you are. Damn, bro. I never thought I'd see the day you'd be obsessing over just one woman. And for my little sister, of all people. It's pretty fucking weird."
Asshole.
"Fuck off. I just need to know that she's good." My tone comes out harsher than I intended. I know this is weird for him, but referring to Izzy as “some woman” irritates the fuck out of me. She isn't just “some woman”; she is the only one, especially to me.
"I mean, she's Iz. You know." He lets out a deep chuckle.
"No, Kas. Actually, I don't fucking know. I don't know because she hasn't been answering her damn phone or calling me back. So, please enlighten me. How is she?"
"She's..." He clears his throat awkwardly. "She's right fucking here and needs to woman up and tell you how she's doing herself."
Through the phone, I hear ruffling and arguing in the background, but I can't make out the words. Honestly, I don't even try to. My brain is reeling from her absence and avoidance. I’m frustrated these past few days, my anger that I try so hard to suppress is rearing its ugly fucking head.
I work hard to keep my volatile side at bay, but I can feel the uncontrollable tension building, threatening to explode. I fucking hate it. I hate feeling vulnerable, and I hate that I let her in to have this type of control over my emotions.
I know she loves me, even if she won't speak the words. Her actions show them. I can feel her love.
What I don't know is, if that's enough for me anymore.
Being shut out like this, being ignored, it fucking kills me.
I get that she has a lot going on and a lot to process with everything that’s happened to Via. But so do I… with Ander. I understand all of that, but we’re important too. Yet, I'm putting more into this than she's willing to receive or return.
Maybe if I show her I'm serious about us and give her the option of choosing me or living a life without me, she'll finally step up and stop running from me. Maybe she’ll finally stop running from herself and the feelings she insists on denying.
"Hello?" Her voice comes out soft, timid even. So unlike Izzy.
"I'm glad to know you're alive," I say sarcastically with a scoff. I try to reel in the anger. I want to tell her it's so good to hear her voice, tell her how much I fucking miss her.
Instead, "You know, I've been calling you.
I told you how I felt. I don't let anyone in, but I let you in.
What do you do? You get scared, you shut down, and you keep fucking shutting me out.
I'm sick of it, Izzy. I don’t want to keep fighting to prove what we can be if you can't even open your goddamn eyes to see what we already are!
?" I spew the words so fast that by the end of my tirade, I'm damn near breathless.
"Jett, I told you I couldn't do this. I—" Her voice is still soft.
At the sadness in her tone, I’m tempted to back down, but at this point, I can’t.
"I don't give a damn what you said. Your words have been shit! They’re all lies, anyway!" I shout, spewing my venom. I try to reel back the anger, but there's no going back. It's beyond the point of control. I hate it when I allow myself to get to this level, scaring even myself sometimes.
In the past, it’s been a problem, lashing out to the guys on the ranch, both verbally and physically. But, never has it been a problem with Izzy… Until now. At least, verbally. Never will I fucking lay a hand on her or any woman.
Taking a breath, I continue, "What I’ve cared about is what you've shown me.
Not what you told me. And you've shown me someone who is in love with me, but doesn't know how to be and is scared to be.
You've shown me that, when you're scared, you run.
I thought I could handle that. I thought we could fight and push through that shit, and eventually come out on the other side.
The thing is, Izzy, I'm so fucking tired of chasing you and still being alone. "
I can hear her sniffle and immediately feel the guilt course through me. Still, I have more to say. “I’m a patient man, Iz. You know this. But, after everything, after all this time, my patience is finally wearing thin.”
She sniffles again, followed by a quiet sob, and fuck, I've made her cry. Izzy doesn't cry. She never shows any weakness or backs down for anyone.
I wanted her to see the "error of her ways" and make her realize that she doesn't want to lose me, but I'm afraid I just fucked up majorly.
I started a fight. And I know she won't back down. It's who she is—the woman I fell in love with.
Fuck…