Chapter 12
Chapter twelve
Izzy
It's been two weeks of absolutely no contact with Jett.
It's been eight weeks since we've been together.
I've never missed and yearned for someone the way I do for him. It’s as if a part of what was sewn into the fabric of who I am is now missing. At times, I find it hard to breathe.
Via is hurting, and my heart aches for her, but fuck, my heart aches for him too.
It doesn't make any sense.
This was always supposed to be strictly casual. We both agreed to it. It was all we both wanted out of this attraction between us.
Somehow, somewhere along the way, it became so much more.
We became more.
Honestly, it pisses me off.
I didn't ask for this, and I damn sure didn't want it.
My main focus right now is ensuring Via stays afloat. She needs me. My stupid emotions need to calm their tits and chill the fuck out. I don't have the mental space to deal with them right now.
Shaking my head, clearing it of the thought of him, I open the door and walk into Via’s room.
"Alright, sugar tits... Get up, we're getting out of this house.
" I look around at the piles of dirty clothes spread throughout the room, and my heart sinks.
Via is one of the cleanest people I know.
This is so unlike her. She was starting to perk up a little.
She was trying. Then, Liam had to come and show his face again and wreak his typical havoc.
She signed everything over to him just to avoid dealing with him.
I can't imagine how hard that was for her.
I know she couldn't give a shit about the money.
For her, it's the houses. The places that hold all of her fondest memories.
Especially the beach house, the one place where she had ever felt whole.
"I don't want to," she says, not even looking away from the TV when she speaks to me. I look over, noticing she's still wearing the same pajamas she's had on for the past three days.
Not only did she lose the places that hold her treasured memories, but for some reason unknown to me, she pushed away the one person who gave her heart purpose.
Apparently, I have no room to judge or question her reasoning. I know firsthand that sometimes things don't always make much sense from the outside looking in, but there's always a valid reason on the inside. Even when others may not understand what that reasoning may be.
Stepping directly in her line of view, intentionally blocking the TV, I put my hands on my hips.
Her eyes flash up to meet mine, and my heart instantly sinks in my chest.
She looks so damn broken.
The dark circles under her eyes show the lack of sleep she's been depriving herself of. Her face lacks any emotion. She's numb, only present—if you can even call it that.
Sill blocking her view, I announce, "Ice cream."
"Pass.”
"There are no passes allowed. Not today. I'm going to the restroom, taking off my bra, changing into the shittiest pajamas that I own, and then we are going to have a day of embracing our ratchet sides. We start with ice cream. You have to do nothing but join."
“Izzy…”
"We don't have to talk. Hell, I don't want to talk to you anyway," I tease jokingly. This earns me a small, forced smile.
I'll take it.
"I take your fake ass smile as compliance. I'll be back in five."
I make my way toward the door to rush to the bathroom to change before I lose the opportunity to get her out of this house.
"Iz," she calls out softly. I spin around in the threshold to meet her eyes again. "Thank you."
I smile. Genuinely smile. Hell, even my heart would be smiling right now if it could.
I don't respond. I know her too well. She doesn't need my words.
She just needs me, and that's exactly what I'll give her.
I need to get over my own shit so I can be who and what she needs so desperately right now. I never planned to fall in love with Jett.
I hate that I did.
I should have ended it long ago when I first started to feel the shift between us. Maybe then, I wouldn't be so hollow inside.
Making my way into the bathroom, I close the door and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
I lean in closer and practice my smile, like I've done so many times before, as of recently. I'm a pro at this shit now.
It even looks real.
With a sigh, I begin to change, just like I promised.
Using the restroom first, I stare down in confusion.
"How has my period still not started!?" I whisper into the silence. This is the second one I’ve missed. I blamed stress for the first one. But another? “It’s not like I’ve fucked anyone since—”
As the words escape my mouth, my heart sinks further, and my breath hitches.
No.
Fuck no.
A day later, I find myself in my gynecologist's office first thing in the morning, desperate for obvious answers.
"The test came back positive. You are indeed pregnant, " the doctor says in a compassionate tone. She's gentle. I should appreciate that, but I don't—not right now.
"The twelve at-home tests I took told me that. What I want to know is how. I only missed two pills in the past couple of months." My voice catches, and the tears flow.
She nods. "Two missed pills could definitely be the answer to your question." Her voice remains even and consoling as I sit there and sob into my hands.
She steps forward and rubs my shoulder as she speaks.
"We will schedule you to get an ultrasound. I believe a patient just cancelled, so we may be able to squeeze you in before we close. It should give us insight into how far along you are and the health of the fetus. I do want to inform you that since you have been taking birth control, there’s an increased risk of complications. "
I don't respond. I don't even acknowledge her.
She continues explaining the possible complications, but I don't hear a single word she says.
All I can think of is that night.
The night that everything changed.