Chapter 39 Maverick
Chapter thirty-nine
Maverick
About an hour has passed since I got here, alone. I’m in the corner of the room, back in conversation with Ander, sipping on a beer, when the front door swings open, and in comes Izzy, followed by Via.
Damn, Izzy is so stunning. Just the sight of her always manages to take my breath away. One corner of my mouth tugs upward, and my shoulders relax as I take her in.
To my surprise, she’s smiling. I want to be excited by this, but I see right through it. It’s forced and fake. It’s a shield to hide from whatever is actually going on and tormenting her.
But I’ll play along.
Catching me completely off guard, as soon as her eyes meet mine, she barrels straight toward me, wrapping me in a hug.
She runs a hand down one of my arms, interlocking our fingers.
Her eyes slowly trail upward, searching for mine.
Once our eyes meet, it’s then I see it—-the sheer sadness she’s attempting to mask.
“Hey,” I lean down and whisper directly in her ear to assure no one else can hear. “You okay?” I pull back, meeting her eyes again.
She nods and forces a smile that doesn’t meet her eyes. “I’m fine. I’m sorry for how I reacted. It wasn’t fair to you.”
An apology. Izzy is the most unapologetic person that I know. With that comes her owning up to her behaviors, but never with apologies—more so just acknowledging what occurred.
“I’m sorry for pushing so hard,” I say. “I just—”
“Don’t apologize, Mav,” she interjects, cutting me off. “We should be able to talk about that stuff. It just… It isn’t easy for me.” Her voice is soft and low, talking quietly only for me to hear, and I can feel the sincerity in her words.
“I know, Iz,” I say, pushing a curl behind her ear, cupping her face, and leaning in.
Just before my mouth meets hers, she turns her face slightly, giving me her cheek. I stiffen instantly, my brows lifting and knitting together at the center.
What the fuck?
She walked in, acting as if nothing had happened. She weirdly apologized. Yet, she won’t kiss me? The alarm bells in my heart blare even louder that something is off.
I plant a kiss on her cheek, then instantly pull back, searching her eyes for silent answers, but she averts her gaze. Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, she fidgets with the hem of her dress.
From our first interaction outside my parents' restaurant that day, I’ve been able to read Izzy. I can see through the defenses she hides behind and truly see her for who she is. Not who she pretends to be. With that comes knowing when she’s hiding something.
And she is undoubtedly hiding something right now. But still, I won’t push. Not again. At least for a while.
Sometimes I wish she saw me as clearly as I see her. I wish she would see my unmoving love for her and how fierce it is. Maybe then she’d recognize that we are worth the risk.
Izzy has given me bits and pieces of herself, but she’s never fully handed her heart over to me. She’s scared to jump in headfirst, take the plunge, and risk it all with me. Sometimes I wonder if she ever will.
I’m not stupid. I know that, for a person to be so guarded, there has to be an underlying cause of pain forcing them to close off parts of themselves from the world. I just wish she’d trust me enough with those fragile pieces, because she can.
Conversations flow around us, and the day passes slowly. For once, I’m not engaging. I’m too lost in my thoughts.
Izzy obviously picks up on my unusually quiet demeanor and walks over to me, gracing me with a smile right before sitting on my lap and nuzzling her head into my chest.
Just the feel of her body pressed against mine washes a sense of calm over me.
“Want to go back to the cabin and fuck me?” she asks, her hands gripping tightly around me, pulling us even closer together.
“No,” I say softly, shaking my head. She raises her head and looks at me with wide eyes full of questions. “I would like to go back to the cabin. But I’d like to talk.”
“Mav,” she says, rolling her eyes as she lets out a sigh. “I’m over talking. We’re okay. Can’t we just move forward?”
“Jett!” Ander calls out before I can respond, and it’s then that the front door swings open and Jett walks in.
I don’t miss the way Izzy stiffens in my lap, averts her eyes, looks down at her hands, and instantly begins twirling her fingers between one another. She only ever does that when she’s nervous or uncomfortable.
I look up to see Jett standing still by the door, unmoving, his eyes locked on us with his jaw tense.
Something happened.
I’m not fucking losing it. I had a hunch he went to talk to her, and now that hunch has proven to be fact. I can feel it with every part of me. I’d have to be blind to miss it. But…
Do I even want to know?
She came in pretending everything was fine. Maybe, just maybe, having a conversation with him was what she needed to move forward from whatever was holding her back.
The way I see it is, I have two options. I can choose to question and potentially push her away even further. Maybe even risk losing her. Or, I can choose to move past this. See it for what it is and go with the flow she’s putting down. I choose the ladder.
I can’t risk losing her, especially not over this.
“Yeah,” I say quietly, my tone clear and suppressing every damn thing I want to say. “We can go back to the cabin. No talking necessary.”
Her wide smile that follows causes my heart to flutter momentarily. “Fucking it is!” she announces in a whisper, grabbing my hand, standing, and pulling me to follow.
I do. I’ll always follow her.