Chapter 54
Chapter fifty-four
Izzy
Beauty, you've always been mine. You will always be mine. Sooner or later, you're going to realize that.
Jett's words have been replaying in my mind since last night, so much so that I haven't been able to sleep. I was already feeling conflicted before, but now I'm downright confused.
I knew coming here was a bad idea.
I don't want to be an adult today. If I had a choice, I'd stay here wrapped in these cozy blankets and drown in my thoughts and self-pity. Yet, that won’t happen. Today is Thanksgiving, and Via is oddly excited for us to all be together. I can't let her down.
"Ughhh," I groan, reluctantly rolling out of bed.
I take my time getting ready; I'm in no rush.
How could, after all this time, my heart still turn to mush when I'm around him? I love Maverick. I'm in love with Maverick, as hard as that is to admit. Why can’t I lean into it? It doesn’t scare me like it did with Jett…
A large piece of my heart still belongs to the man I never fully allowed in.
Maybe that’s why I can’t lean in; I love them both.
Fuck… What kind of person loves two men at the same time?
What does that say about me? They're both amazing, and both are completely enough on their own.
Yet, both have my heart captured in a vice-like grip without signs of letting it go.
My thoughts swarm, holding me captive to the divide in my heart. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I finish applying my makeup and then take one last glance in the mirror before leaving.
The morning goes by rather uneventfully, which, I suppose, is a good thing. Ander is off to the corner of the living room in front of the fireplace, strumming away on his guitar as he sings, and Via sits with her legs crossed at his feet, taking him in with admiration.
I've never wanted something like they have, and I've never been a girl who longed for that connection. It's always scared me more than anything. However, looking at them now has me convinced that I'm the one who's missing out.
Kasten and Dessa are in the kitchen chatting with Silas and Ander's parents about holiday recipes. That dude can seriously talk about food for hours. I can't hang out with him, because he makes me hungry.
Everyone has been here for a few hours, minus Jett.
He just got here a bit ago, and although he's sitting opposite me in the living room, he's kept his distance.
We haven't spoken other than brief hellos.
I catch him looking at me every now and then, but when I do, he looks away and stifles a smile.
Something shifted last night. His words changed a part of me that I can't explain.
Although his sense of possessiveness pisses me off, the fact that he's never given up on me and is willing to wait and fight for me... I don't know. It just means something to me.
Ander and Via giggle in the corner, pulling me from my annoying ass thoughts, and I listen in because I'm nosey as fuck.
"Let's do it now," Ander whispers to her, to which she giggles harder and pushes to stand. He grabs her hand, and they walk together to the middle of the living room.
"Hey, everyone!" Ander calls out as Via clings to his arm, beaming beside him. "Come in here for a second." My brows raised, everyone files into the room, and Ander continues, "We’re really glad you’re all here. We have to—"
"We’re pregnant!" Via shouts gleefully, cutting off whatever elaborate speech Ander had planned.
Her beautiful smile stretches across her entire face, and she's quite literally glowing.
I can feel the joy and excitement radiating off of them both, and it's beautiful.
“A little over four months, to be exact,” she says as she pulls her loose-fitting shirt close to her belly, exposing the cutest baby bump.
Everyone in the room gasps in unison. Ander's parents rush to them first, tears already forming at the brim of Mrs. Kristen's eyes. Abbie and Dessa run over to them next. People are jumping and shrieking, and congratulations are being handed out as they all share in the excitement.
Everyone except for me.
I am so happy for them. I am so overjoyed that they get the happily ever after they so very well deserve. They will be amazing parents.
However, as soon as I heard the words and saw the bump, I was instantly stunned in place by thoughts of the life that never got to be. The baby I had to let go of.
"Izzy," Via calls out, a look of confusion and concern on her face as she takes me in. I straighten in my seat, trying to free myself from the thoughts that confine me.
I quickly stand, rush over to her, and hug her.
"I'm so fucking happy for you guys!" I say, forcing my words to match her energy so as not to bring her down or dampen the mood. "You’ll both be amazing parents, and this sweet baby will be so loved."
She nods with a genuine smile, reminding me of how far she’s come and how hard she’s fought to get to where she is now.
"I am so proud of you, V," I say, squeezing her hand before releasing her to celebrate with everyone else.
My heart picks up its pace in my chest, my hands become clammy, and I feel like I can't breathe.
Air. I need air.
Trying to stay calm, I take a deep breath and walk toward the door.
I need to get out of here. Now.
Just as the door swings open and I begin to step out, I feel a large, gentle hand on my shoulder, and I know it's him.
I don't stop walking as I completely fall apart.