Chapter 65
Chapter sixty-five
Izzy
Shifting my car into park, I quickly give myself a once-over in my visor mirror. Damn. I knew I hadn’t been looking my best lately, but I failed to realize I look like death. Fuck it.
Opening my car door, my feet meet the parking garage's ground, and I’m quickly overcome with fear.
For a woman who has refrained from emotional connections for most of her life, finding myself in love with two men.
.. Yeah, it wasn’t exactly how I pictured things going.
I never thought I’d be in this position.
Yet, buckle up, buttercup, because here the fuck I am.
The thing about decisions is that you never know if you’re making the correct one until you do, and life proceeds to play out.
It can go one of two ways: right or wrong.
There’s no way to know. Not knowing if the direction in which your heart is pulling you toward is what you’re actually meant to follow is fucking terrifying.
Breathe, Izzy.
Making my way down the busy sidewalk, my heart begins to hammer in my chest, and I start to question everything, including my existence. But, before I can cower and run away to live a life as a single recluse, the door to the cafe swings open, and Maverick steps out wearing the warmest smile.
Every ounce of fear, indecision, and hesitance I felt moments before suddenly evade me at the sight of him.
I know now this is the right decision.
Approaching him, I return his smile with a soft one of my own. Maverick leans in, pressing a chaste kiss to my cheek and wrapping me in a hug. Taking in a breath, I relish the moment, the feel of him, his scent, and the acceptance that his embrace exudes.
“I really missed you, Iz.” His words are soft, and his tone holds hope. I wish it didn’t.
It’s been two weeks since I’ve seen either of the guys. The last time that I spoke to Maverick in person was on Thanksgiving, and that was a fucking shit show. I betrayed him, and he left. Rightfully so.
In true Maverick fashion, he blew up my phone a few days later. It took me a while to return his calls, even though I’m the one at fault here. What can I say? Stubbornness doesn’t die quickly.
Our conversations have been very casual. He never mentioned anything again. It’s as if he took the time to process it all, and now he just wants to move forward.
On the other hand, I haven’t heard a word from Jett. He’s made his stance clear. The ball remains in my court as far as he’s concerned.
“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me,” I say to Maverick just as he releases me. “I really wanted to see you.”
“Of course. Come on, let's go inside. I’ve already ordered our favorites.”
Our favorites.
We have fucking favorites together.
There is no question that this man knows me. His love for me is so pure and genuine. It’s what girls dream of finding. I wish I were one of them.
We make our way into the busy cafe. Out of all the restaurants his parents own, this one is my favorite. The environment is cozy, and the food is always delicious.
Taking a seat at the table, I'm met with peace instead of the fear I previously felt. Maverick looks at me longingly from across the table. The corners of his mouth pull up ever so slightly into a handsome grin that sends a wave of warmth directly to my heart.
“I missed you so–” Mav begins, but I intervene.
“In the past two weeks, we’ve never spoken about anything that matters,” I say firmly, interjecting.
Maverick’s features quickly fall, shifting to disappointment.
“I don’t want to talk about it, Iz. What’s done is done.
All we can do is move forward from here.
” His tone remains even, but I can hear the pain hidden behind the forced, casual front.
Reaching across the table, Maverick grabs my hand and slowly rubs circles over my palm with his thumb.
The touch is comforting, and I inhale a long, slow breath before continuing, “I hurt you. We can’t just ignore that and move on as if it didn’t happen. It did.”
With a sigh, Maverick releases my hand and briefly darts his gaze anywhere but on me. “Yeah, Iz. You did. You hurt me. But all we can do now is move–”
“Ask me why,” I press on, the words coming out harsher than I intended. Confusion washes over Maverick's beautiful face, and I want so badly to reach out and touch him. I don’t. Instead, I continue, “Ask me why I kissed him back. Ask me why I didn’t tell you. Ask me everything.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Maverick says, still averting his gaze as he attempts to distract himself by taking a bite of the food laid out before us.
“That’s the fucking problem, Mav. It does matter. All of it does. You are wonderful, and it’s easy for you to accept me as I am, but you don’t care enough to know why or pressure me to be better. At least, not in the way that I need. I need someone who pushes back even harder than I do.”
He pauses, setting his fork down. “I can do that, Iz.”
I smile softly at the sentiment. “No, Mav. You can’t. It’s not who you are. You’re gentle, kind, patient, and everything I should want…”
His eyes flash up, meeting mine, and I’m struck with the pain he’s suppressing, and the part of my heart that is undoubtedly in love with him bursts at the seams.
I deserve it all—every ounce of his disappointment, anger, and sadness. I caused it. It’s time I take accountability.
His face hardens as he says, “What are you saying?” The words are laced with every ounce of anger he’s rightfully feeling.
“I have immense love for you, Maverick. The love you give is beyond anything I could’ve ever asked for or imagined. But you fell in love with a heart that was already taken, and I’m so fucking sorry. I’ve become so accustomed to running away that I failed to see that for myself.”
“You’re choosing him?” Maverick’s shoulders slump forward as he scoffs in disbelief, but there’s no judgment in his tone, only an unmistakable ache I can feel at its full force.
After a few moments of silence that pass between us, our eyes lock.
I swallow as tears threaten to fall. “My heart chose his long ago, and… I’m tired of running away from that.”
Maverick nods, taking in my words. “Then stop running, Iz.” His voice is small as he gives me a soft nod filled with understanding and acceptance.
This man…
His heart is the purest I’ve ever encountered in another human. I find myself wanting to love him the way he deserves. Because of Maverick, I grew emotionally and accepted that, despite the scars of my past traumas, I’m still deserving and worthy of the love I’ve been running from for so long.
And, throughout our time together, I’ve realized one thing…
Maverick is my soulmate; he will remain as such. Etched into the deepest part of my heart that will forever be his—my steady reminder that there are kind people in this world, and I am deserving of good things. Yet, I was only ever meant to be a chapter in his story, as he was in mine.
We were never meant to be one another's happily ever after.
Jett, on the other hand, is the love of my life. He breathes life into the parts of myself I thought were long dead. It’s the exact type of love Maverick deserves—with someone else. It’s the type of love I deserve.
Maverick’s right.
It’s time for me to stop running.