Chapter Twenty-One
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
MARIE
Stepping outside for the first time in two days, I let the sun warm my face. I suck in a deep breath of fresh air and savor the fact that I don’t feel like I’m going to throw up. My doctor told me I might continue to experience strong nausea for a while yet, but that it should pass before too long.
“Marie, are you ready to go home?”
Garrett walks up to me. His truck is parked by the curb behind him. Seeing his concerned but determined expression makes my chest ache. God, why does he insist on doing this? Caring for me and helping me through the pregnancy? I know he feels obligated, and most women would be thrilled to have the man who got them pregnant step up and take responsibility, but I don’t feel good about this. I’m just another burden for him. Another mess he has to clean up.
That’s the last thing I want.
Swallowing, I slowly nod. “Yeah… yeah, I’m ready.”
He offers me his hand. I frown down at it before reluctantly taking it, too tired to argue. I just want to get home and burrow myself under my bedcovers and go to sleep.
Garrett helps me to his truck and up into the passenger seat. He’s treating me like I’m delicate and breakable. Not long ago, I’d have loved to receive this attention from him, but today, it just makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry. None of this would be happening if he didn’t feel as though he had to do it.
He climbs in next to me and pulls away from the hospital. We don’t speak for several minutes, but eventually, he clears his throat.
“I’m going to be at your beck and call from now on,” he tells me matter-of-factly. “Day or night, don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you need anything, okay? I don’t want you to have to worry or stress about anything.”
I rest my head against the cool glass of my window and gaze out at the passing houses.
“Okay.”
“I’m serious, Marie,” he says. “If you need groceries, a ride to work, anything, you let me know. I’d also like to be present for future appointments for the baby, if that’s okay with you.”
“Yeah… that’s fine.”
My emotions are tumultuous. I just want to go numb, so I don’t have to feel anything right now.
“I want to be as involved as you’ll allow me to be,” Garrett continues. “You don’t have to do any of this alone.”
“Thank you, Garrett.” I try to sound grateful, but my voice is too soft and my tone too sad. Does he notice? If he does, he doesn’t say anything.
I should be grateful, relieved that he’s so willing to be with me every step of the way with this, but he’s not doing any of this because he feels real affection for me. He’s doing it because he thinks it’s the right thing to do.
He’s being the good guy right now, but I wish he would just… I don’t know. Not act like he cares about me when he really only cares about my pregnancy.
We soon arrive at my house and Garrett escorts me inside, holding me up like he’s afraid I’ll tip over. He doesn’t let me go until I’m settled on the couch. Grabbing a pillow, he puts it behind my head and drapes a blanket over my lap.
“Garrett, you don’t have to do all this. I’ll be fine, really.”
“Just rest. I’ll make you something to eat. Nothing too heavy, so it won’t upset your stomach.”
Before I can say anything, he turns and makes his way out of the living room and into the kitchen, moving pots and pans around. Sighing, I sink back into my pillow and pull the blanket up to cover my whole body. I’m so tired and heartsick. I just want to be cozy and forget about everything I’ve been through in the last few days.
Except I can’t forget. I’ll never be able to forget because the reminder is growing inside me right now.
Laying my hands on my belly, I murmur, “Oh, little bean. What kind of a mess am I bringing you into, hm? Your mommy is desperately in love with your daddy, but he just wants to be friends. Such a bummer, huh?”
Damn, I’m already complaining to my kid about their dad. Not really a precedent I want to set.
Sighing, I tilt my head back and gaze up at the ceiling. How am I going to navigate this whole thing with Garrett? I don’t know if I can handle this for the next seven months.
A little bit of time passes with me sitting on the couch, my head spinning, before Garrett returns with a tray. He sets it next to me on the couch, and I peek at what he’s made—a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a small plate of bread with jam.
“You had a can of soup in the pantry,” he says. “I hope you don’t mind that I dug around in there.”
“I don’t mind,” I reply, picking up the bowl and sniffing it. When my stomach doesn’t immediately pitch, I grab the spoon on the tray and slowly start eating. The soup is good. Soothing. My stomach stays calm enough to finally put the food in it, and I realize just how hungry I’ve really been.
As I eat, Garrett moves around the living room and starts cleaning up. The place got a little cluttered when I wasn’t feeling good, so there’s dirty clothes lying on the floor, blankets in piles, empty or half-empty glasses of water, and unopened mail scattered around. He doesn’t hesitate as he folds the blankets and gathers the clothes into a single pile. It’s like he’s done this a million times before, and it feels natural to have him here.
Too natural.
After several minutes, I can’t stand the strained atmosphere between us anymore.
“What do you think of all this?”
He freezes in the middle of folding a large, patchwork quilt my mom made me when I was a kid. He appears thoughtful, as if choosing his words carefully.
“I’m stunned,” he finally confesses. “I’m still processing everything and what this will mean for our lives. I know I’ll love the baby, and a part of me is excited to be a dad. I also know I’ll do everything I can to support you and the baby. You don’t ever have to worry about that.”
Again, he’s saying all the right things. However, he doesn’t say anything about what his feelings for me are, nor does he ask me what I feel for him… or about any of this, really.
“That’s… good to know,” I say. Garrett gives me a small half-smile before continuing to tidy up.
God, is this how it’s going to be? Me tiptoeing around my real feelings while he caters to me, oblivious to the turmoil swirling within me, which only makes me feel shittier. He seems at ease and content with all this, but how long will that last? What if he comes to resent me for this? It’s not like I got pregnant on purpose - I didn’t magically make the condom break - but that might not matter when he realizes just how much this will change his life.
A knock on my front door jerks me out of my racing thoughts. Who could that be? Frowning, I move to get off the couch, but Garrett quickly steps in front of me.
“I’ll get it. Don’t worry.”
I don’t have the energy to argue with him, so I sink back against the couch and let him go to the door.
“Oh, Garrett, what are you doing here?”
I recognize the voice instantly and tense. It’s Meredith, and by the sound of the tiny footsteps rushing into the house, she’s brought the littles with her. Damn it…I should’ve suspected she’d hunt me down when I ignored her calls.
Meredith, my youngest brother and sister, and Ally come walking into the living room.
“Hi, Marie!” My little sister, Avery, hurries to my side, jumping on the couch next to me.
“Hey, little lady,” I reply, giving her a weak smile.
“Mommy said you were in the hospital,” my brother, Henry, declares. “Were you sick?”
“I was, but I’m feeling much better now.”
“I was so relieved to hear that you were able to come home,” Meredith says. “The kids have been wanting to see you, so I thought I’d bring them by. I actually need you to watch them for a bit, so it’s perfect. Ally tagged along to help you out.”
I blink, stunned. Ally is standing next to her mom, her eyes downcast and her cheeks flushed, clearly embarrassed.
“Mom, I told you, I can watch the kids myself,” Ally murmurs. “We don’t need to bother Marie. She’s still recovering…”
Meredith waves a hand dismissively and insists, “Oh, there’s no need to worry. She’s just pregnant, that’s all. Of course, Marie is happy to watch them. She’s always happy to help out her family.”
I’m absolutely speechless. Is she being serious? I just got out of the hospital, for fuck’s sake. Does she seriously expect me to…
“I’m sorry, Meredith,” Garrett says in a polite tone, stepping between me and my stepmother. “Marie won’t be able to watch the kids today. She’s too tired and still recovering. She needs to rest.”
My heart flutters a little bit at his protectiveness, and I can’t even make myself care that he’s doing it out of obligation. Actually, maybe that’s not true. He’s stood up for me before against Meredith… I wasn’t pregnant then.
He does care about me. Just not in the way I wish he would.
Unlike last time, Meredith doesn’t seem at all charmed by him. Her brow furrows and her lips part.
“I beg your pardon?” she snaps. “Who do you think you are? This is a family matter. It has nothing to do with you.”
“Actually, it does,” Garrett insists in a firmer tone. “I don’t mean to be rude, ma’am, but I’m going to have to set some ground rules regarding Marie. From now on, you will have to find a different babysitter. Marie won’t be watching your children for you, unless you call well ahead to ask her and she agrees to because she wants to. All right?”
Holy shit. He’s really laying down the law, and I… I don’t hate it. Just like when he stood up for me in the library, I’m a bit overwhelmed by how good it feels to have someone actually on my side.
“You… you…” Meredith sputters, clearly struggling to come up with a response. It’s not often she doesn’t get her way. At length, she gets so frustrated that she literally stomps her foot and declares, “Fine! I’m not going to argue about this right now. I have more class than that. Come on, kids. Let’s not disturb Marie any further.”
“Get better soon, Marie,” Avery says.
“Love you!” Henry chirps, making me feel a small tinge of guilt, but neither of them seem all that upset that I’m not going to watch them.
Meredith turns on her heel and storms out of the house in a huff, the kids and Ally following close behind her. I don’t miss Ally’s amused grin before she disappears from sight.
Garrett sees them out and when he comes back, he’s shaking his head, his brow furrowed in annoyance.
“Geez, I don’t know how you have the patience for that woman,” he grumbles. “She gives me a headache.” He stops when he’s standing in front of me. “Are you okay?”
Nodding, I say, “I am. Thank you for standing up for me. I really appreciate it.”
Honestly, it’s a relief not to have to deal with Meredith right now with everything going on. I wouldn’t have been able to stand up to her like that, so to have someone do it for me… to have Garrett looking out for my best interests… it’s refreshing.
He gives me a soft smile. “I told you, I’m going to take care of you. All you need to worry about is getting well and taking care of yourself and the baby, okay?”
And there it is again… that mix of emotions I’ve been feeling since he walked into my hospital room a few days ago and after finding out I was pregnant.
I’m grateful for what he’s doing for me. Taking care of me. Standing up for me. Making sure I’m focusing on my health and not putting too much stress on myself.
I’m also disappointed. I wish he was doing all this because he loved me. Because we’re a couple and planning a future together. Anticipating raising this baby as a happy little family.
Instead, we’re two people forced together by circumstances beyond our control. This isn’t at all how I thought things would end up for me. That I’d end up with the man I love, but not because he loves me back, but because he’s tethered to me for the rest of his life.