Chapter 9
Free or not, when Lucy excused herself, no one minded. She just needed to take a breath of fresh air. A deep one to inhale and remember all the good things in her life. Her new home. Her new town. Her new friend. Her newly written book. She had everything she wanted.
Exhale.
All the negative. Damien.
Whooooosh.
Perhaps another exhale would do it.
Haaaaaaaah.
It clearly wasn’t working since upon her last breath she was sure she inhaled his scent, uniquely fresh and of the sea. Ugh. She walked further out into the garden to immerse herself in a much more floral fragrance.
“Lucy, wait.”
She didn’t.
“Lucy, please.” He reached out to touch her elbow. “Please let me explain.”
“Great,” she muttered as her eyes darted around. “Isn’t this just fitting?” Her arms flew out to her side like a bird ready to take flight, only her feet (definitely not her heart) were far too heavy to make that a possibility.
He turned her around gently. “Isn’t what fitting?”
“Discussing the end of us in a garden.”
“I don’t see how that’s fitting.”
“You wouldn’t.” She knew she was talking nonsense, at least from his perspective. But he just didn’t get it.
He crossed his arms after scrubbing his hand down his face. “Explain how this is fitting. Please.”
“The place where I first saw you will be the place where I last saw you.”
“What are you talking about?”
And she had to make a decision. Let it all out or keep it bottled inside. And she knew—she just knew—that if she didn’t release it that it would eat her from the inside out.
“I saw you that night with those two women in the garden.”
“What—” His face blanched. Like a ghost. Like whiter than anyone she had seen before.
“Exactly.”
“So you know then?”
But as Lucy studied him, he didn’t look ashamed the way he should.
“Yes. I know you’re a rake. The worst kind. You have no concept of loyalty. I saw you kiss another woman and then get caught by your fiancée.”
“You saw what we wanted you to see.”
“What?” She shook her head. He was just trying to weasel his way out of this.
“She wanted me to kiss her.”
“Obviously. She was kissing you back.”
“No. You have it all wrong.” His hands cleared his face again. “My fiancée wanted me to kiss that woman.”
She shuddered at his lies. “Stay away from me, Damien.”
“No. I must explain this to you. If that’s who you think I am, you need to know the truth.
That woman you saw that night, the same one you just saw in the cafe, she was my fake fiancée.
She’s a close friend of the family and her father was making her life miserable.
She asked me to court her, thus taking her off the market.
But things went too far, and her father expected a wedding.
She insisted she was tired of society and wanted to make her own path, so she needed a scandal.
With the biggest gossip of the ton. Hence the kiss.
And her walking in on it. You saw everything we wanted people to see.
Just ask her. Her and her sister would corroborate the story. It’s all true.”
They stood staring at each other.
“Say something, Lucy.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Is that why you’re upset with me? You thought I was interested in another woman? And you thought I didn’t know how to be loyal?”
It felt altogether too juvenile to admit it, so her eyes just dropped to the grass where she traced the outline of her shoe.
It was clear that what she thought she saw was real, but the truth she believed about it was wrong.
Instead of it proving his rakish nature, it actually was the perfect depiction of his loyalty.
His kindness. His commitment to someone else.
To help someone even at the sacrifice of his own reputation.
But…she couldn’t let him off the hook, could she?
“And the bet? That’s the only reason you’re here to apologize?” She hung onto one last thread of anger. It was easier than the alternative. Less painful. Less raw.
“I threw the game. I wanted to lose. I wanted to come see you, but…I just couldn’t do it on my own.”
Too loudly, she replied, “So you had to do it in front of a dozen people?”
“Yes…well…those were unexpected guests. Good ones, but unexpected nonetheless.”
How could she blame him? He wasn’t the man she thought he was. And instead, he was everything she needed him to be. Protective. Kind. Gentle. Intimate. Loyal. “I feel childish. You were right. I don’t even know my own mind. I thought I knew…” So much.
He barked out an unamused laugh. “Never have I had to eat my own words as much as now. It’s me who didn’t know his own mind.”
“What?”
“I don’t understand it myself. I mean, how can I feel this way after such a short time?” His feet moved toward her, and she instinctively backed up.
“Tell me, Lucy? How can I feel this way? Please.” He kept moving, like she was prey. But this time…for the first time, she wanted to be. The backs of her heels hit a stone wall, and he caged her in. “How can I love you already?”
Love.
It should have been an explosion going off within her, but it wasn’t. It was quiet. Gentle. Calming. And she wanted to tread closer, but she wasn’t sure how. She knew only that the best way toward something was with confidence and resolve, so she dug deep and pulled out her will.
“I-I mean, what’s not to love?” she whispered, provoking him to explain himself. A man couldn’t just angrily declare his love and get away with it.
“Nothing.” He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “There’s everything to love right here.”
And she had to know just a little bit more because really, if she was even going to think about opening up her heart (intentionally this time) she needed to hear it explicitly stated. “For how long?”
“For as long as I have breath.”
Hers caught in her throat. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you, Lucy.”
A small tear prickled the corner of her eye. “I intended to give you an inch, but you took a mile. I couldn’t stop it from happening. I love you too, Damien.”
“I want more than a mile. I want it all.”
“It’s yours.”
“And I’m yours.”
And he held her. In the garden. Where it all began and where it all began again.