13. RAE
13
M y mind keeps playing tricks with me and I blame the broody man that lasers his gaze right through me.
“Truth or dare?” My brows quirk up.
I don’t even like truth or dare. It’s a silly game that’s always the catalyst for bad choices, but I guess that’s the equivalent of Jared James Jensen and the rebel inside of me. I’m certain that both of them will be the death of me.
I ignore the accelerating of my breathing, keeping a straight face as I snap my attention between both of them.
Bodi shrugs, then holds his tumbler up in the air. “Sure. Why not.”
I smile before my focus turns back to Jensen. His handsome face is still fixated on me, his dark hair now perfectly styled. I can see the hunger etching through his eyes, pinning me down with a growing desire. I give him a daring look, moving a bit closer with my head resting in my hand as I pop my elbow up on the table.
Damn, he’s hot when he’s staring at me like that.
“What? You scared, Jensen?”
I’ve never been a shy girl. I’m the friend you push forward when the cops ask you what the hell you’re doing on a deserted airstrip. The one who asks for clarification when the entire class can’t keep up with that intimidating science teacher. I’m bold, and I can be blunt about what I want; Rebel Rae is the proof of that.
In the last five years, I created a persona that was sophisticated, composed, and serious, that helped me act like the professional I had to be. She made sure no one saw the real Rae. I tucked her safely inside of me with no intentions to ever let her break free again. But Jensen seems to bring the wild side alive again, rising from the ashes like a phoenix.
He leans in, his lips now close to my face. I can smell his aftershave, a toxic scent of fresh and spicy notes, mixed with the whiskey on his breath that spins my head a little. Since the first time we met, this man has done something to me. He knows how to tick me off and get me all riled up. But since he jumped in my car, there has been a different meaning to that phrase.
One that will get me into a lot of trouble if I’m not careful.
“Now that I know there’s a rebel tucked inside of you… I need to meet her,” he growls, demanding.
The low, vibrating tone shivers along my spine as I keep a straight face. I needed yesterday to adjust to the chemistry we have, getting used to his smart-ass comments and heavy flirtations, but today, I’ve grown into our back-and-forth. I’m even starting to enjoy it, taking advantage of the fact that my answers don’t have to be perfect anymore, now that I’m no longer on the job.
“Ha! She’s on a holiday for the foreseeable future. Besides, I doubt anyone would’ve taken me seriously on the job wearing jeans and some boots,” I explain jokingly.
“Oh, I definitely would’ve.” It’s a statement that leaves no room for questioning, flushing my cheeks.
Not sure how to respond, I stay quiet while the room seems to close in on us. As I look into his shiny blue eyes, the world around us seems to fade; the only thing left is an invisible chord that keeps us connected. A chord that right now seems to feel like a lifeline, as if our hearts are beating at the same pace.
Bodi breaks the magic, clearing his throat, and I jump a little with embarrassment.
Dammit, Rae.
I can’t deny the attraction I have toward Jensen, but it seems like Rebel Rae wants to crawl her way out every time Jensen gives me one of his smoldering looks.
“Fuck,” I blurt awkwardly, offering Bodi an apologetic smile, then changing the subject. “Something light. Schnapps or something. That will set the mood.”
“What mood is that? Because I’m already in one.” Jensen throws his head back in frustration, pouring the contents of his glass down his throat, though the thirst remains in his eyes.
Bodi rapidly kicks him under the table, and I can hear a grunt coming from Jensen’s throat, turning a smile on my face.
“Shut up,” Bodi orders, glaring at his best friend before he smirks at me.
“Fine. I’ll shut up. You want schnapps? What kind?” Jensen asks.
He tries to hide his frustration, but the deep frown on his forehead tells me he has a hard time with it.
“Peach!” Clapping like a seal, I bounce in excitement and get up to get a tray of shots, using it to take a moment to pull myself together.
I knew this was going to be a challenge the second he dropped his ass in my car, but now that I’ve experienced the warmth of his body against mine, I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to feel that warmth between my legs. To feel his lips all over me.
When I get to the bar, I ask the bartender for some shots and a double rum, throwing it down my throat in one go for some liquid courage while my phone vibrates in the back pocket of my jeans. Already knowing it’s Sean, I pull out my phone with grinding teeth, decline the call, and then return to the boys with a tray filled with shots.
No need to waste time on my ex-douchebag.
I’ve got my hands full.
“Okay, you first!” I point at Bodi. “Truth or dare.”
He huffs, stirring his Jack and Coke. “Dare.”
Jensen chuckles beside me, and I look at him rubbing his hands together with an evil smirk. “I was already hoping you’d say that.”
He gets up, walking to the bar, and we watch him with confusion, before Bodi mutters, “ Oh shit,” under his breath.
“What’s going on?”
Bodi just shakes his head, rubbing his hands over his face. When Jensen gets back, he holds another shot in his hand, placing it in front of Bodi.
“ Dare , mate.”
Bodi keeps a straight face, though his brown eyes are shooting daggers at his friend. “I hate you.” His lips purse, before he presses his tongue against his teeth.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“It’s on you if I chuck up my dinner, you know that, right?” Bodi replies, as they both ignore me.
“Ah, come on, pussy. It’s been ages. I think you can handle it,” Jensen pushes, his features getting more animated by the second.
Bodi holds his stare for a brief moment before he shakes his head, picking up the shot.
“Asshole,” he hisses, then throws his head back as he pours the liquid down his throat, his hair flopping with the jerk of his neck.
“What is it?” I smack Jensen’s arm, having no idea why he’s snickering like he just made Bodi eat shit and sold it like chocolate.
Before he replies, Bodi’s eyes shut in agony while he lets out an excruciating groan, slugging the shot glass back on the table. He quickly places his hand in front of his mouth, gagging, as Jensen starts to laugh uncontrollably. A whim of anise wrinkles my nose.
My eyes widen as Bodi tries to fight his need to puke up his guts, and I screech, both entertained and shocked. “What the hell did you give him, Jensen?”
“Sambuca. The fucker once lost a bet,” he heaves, still laughing, “resulting in doing ten Sambuca shots in a minute. He’s had a trauma ever since.”
Bodi’s face is now completely pale, inhaling and exhaling slowly, trying to get rid of his nausea while I watch Jensen having the time of his life.
“You’re an asshole.” I laugh, turning his attention to me.
“I know.”
My head quivers as I hold a peach schnapps in front of Bodi’s face. Drops of sweat are forming on his forehead, and his grimace is telling me he definitely needs some cheering up.
Poor guy.
“Drink up. It will get the taste out of your mouth.”
Eagerly, he grabs the shot out of my hands, downing the thing as if his life depends on it. When he places the glass back on the table, a shiver runs through his body, and he lets out a loud shriek that makes me wince.
“Dear Lord,” I mumble with a heavy southern tongue, gripping my heart before Jensen’s eyes calmly move my way.
“Where the hell did that come from?” he asks in a gruff tone.
The stumped look in his eyes makes it undetectable to tell if he’s turned on or appalled. My brows move to my hairline, not sure what he’s talking about.
“Your accent. You’ve been hiding that for five years?”
“Maybe?”
He leans closer, burying his nose in the loose strands falling around my face, just above my ear. Right away, the hairs on my neck stand up as his breath fans over the sensitive crook of my neck.
“It’s sexy.”
My eyes stay focused on Bodi, pushing back the tension building in my core.
“Okay, I’m back.” A smile slides into place on Bodi’s face before he points his finger at his friend with a determined look. “Payback is going to be a bitch, Jay.”
“I can handle it.” Jensen shrugs, grabbing my neck with his rough palm. “You’re up.”
“Nah-ah. You first.” My chin raises with defiance as I enjoy the scorching feeling of his hand on my body.
“Fine,” he grunts, letting go of me.
“Truth or dare,” I beam, resting my elbows on the table.
“Please say dare. Please say dare. Please say dare,” Bodi chants in a whisper.
“Truth.”
“AH! Pussy!” Bodi gives Jensen a shove while I enjoy the familiarity between the two men.
They clearly know each other through and through, but they also have a great level of respect for each other that's noticeable within their banter. It reminds me of how Kayla and I are together. How we can bitch at each other all day, much to my grandmother’s dismay, but to us, it shows how much we love each other. It’s our love language. The more I bitch at you, the more I love you.
“Okay,” I start, cocking my head as I lock my eyes with Jensen waiting for me in anticipation, “did you ever cheat?”
I don’t know where my brazenness comes from. I don’t even know why I think this is a good time to give in to my curiosity, but for some reason, I do.
I blame Rebel Rae.
His handsome face grows stern, and for a minute, I regret my question, cursing her back in her crate. He holds my gaze for a moment until the corner of his mouth curls, amusement washing his face. When I’m convinced he’s not mad, I softly push out a breath.
“Why are you asking, Rae?” He mockingly tilts his head. “You of all people should know the answer to that question?”
Insecure, I share a look with Bodi, who’s smiling like he’s loving the entertainment I provided. Too cocky to chicken out, my eyes find Jensen’s, knowing I’m playing into his hands by pushing this through.
“I don’t,” I admit.
“Well, well. What are you saying, Miss Stafford?” He narrows his eyes. “That you might have been wrong about me?”
“I’m asking you a question.” I roll my eyes at his dramatics, holding back my grin.
He rests his elbows on the table, slowly leaning in, and I can feel my heartbeat speed up once more. A tingly feeling runs through my hands, and I play with my nails to keep them busy, when really, I want to rake them through his hair.
“For the last five years, you’ve been scolding me for cheating . I believe you’ve told me ‘I should keep my dick in my pants’ more than once.” He leans back, his arms crossed in front of his body, with an arrogant smirk. “But two days on the road with me and you’re starting to doubt yourself? You’re starting to wonder if I’m really a cheating asshole, or you’re just a judgmental little pain in the ass?”
“I never said I doubted myself,” I huff, adamant, even though I know he cornered me successfully.
Remind me to put Curious Rae back in her crate next to Rebel Rae.
“You wouldn’t be asking me that question if you didn’t, baby.” He grabs the arms rest of my chair, pulling me closer. “Admit it. Admit it, and I will answer your question.”
“Not how this works, Jensen. It’s your turn. You answer.”
His eyes move back and forth, roaming my face, and I swallow hard when they lower to my lips, his tongue darting out to lick his own. The blood rushes through my head, as I wonder how his lips would feel on mine while I squeeze my thighs together.
“ NO .” The word rumbles out of his body, as if he wants to make sure I understand the meaning of it, yet he doesn’t explain anything else, and I shouldn’t feel as released as I am. It makes no sense. “Now say it.”
“Say what?!” I screech, our faces still too close.
“That you were wrong about me.”
“Why? You’re still an asshole.” Bodi is tittering beside us, and my eyes quickly dart to him enjoying the show.
“Not denying that. Say it, Rae. Admit it. You like me. And don’t roll your eyes at me like I’m wrong, because you know I’m right.”
“ Like is a big word,” I sputter.
“You. Like. Me.”
“Fine!” I throw my hands up in the air, leaning back in my chair to create some distance while grabbing a shot from the table. “You’re alright.”
“Ha! I knew it. Now repeat after me, ‘I’m a judgmental pain in the ass.’ But say it like you mean it. Really pull the words from your toes.” He balls his fist, raising it in the air to enhance his assertion. I blink at him, while I put the glass to my lips until the sweet taste of peach welcomes my tongue.
“Never gonna happen, hockey boy ,” I reply while smashing the glass back on the table.
“Fine. My turn. Truth or dare, Rae?” Jensen’s blue eyes gleam with pleasure as I wonder what is going on in that head of his.
Normally, I’d rather choose dare, not feeling the need to disclose anything with anyone. Answers always result in more questions, and before you know it, they know your life story. Mine is definitely not worth sharing if we want this to stay a happy night. But after what he pulled to Bodi, I have a feeling giving Jensen a dare will probably be a bad choice for me.
“Truth.”
Jensen holds my gaze intensely, his eyes acting like lasers as if he can read my mind before his lips start to move. “Were you in love with Kent?”
My heart falls when the words reach my ears, joined by a pounding drum in my head. A tightness forms in my chest while I’m rushed back to that first moment Sean told me he loved me.
We hadn’t been dating for long, but it didn’t matter because it made sense. He took me on a date to the beach, just us, with a bottle of wine and some crackers. Simple, just how I like it. We’d been talking for an hour, cuddling, and just enjoying each other’s company, when those eight letters left his lips. The moment was right. The setting was right. He was right.
But I couldn’t say it back.
I froze. I freaked out. And when I finally calmed down, I told him I wasn’t capable of loving anyone. Not after what I’d been through. Not when I know love can leave you as quick as it arrives. I asked him for time. Told him that one day I’d be able to say it back. That day never came.
“Rae?” Bodi’s voice snaps me out of my daydream, and I glance at him before my eyes move back to Jensen, now looking at me with hawk eyes, worry written over his face as if he’s not sure he wants the answer to this question.
“No,” I finally admit. “No, I was never in love with him.”
Relief showers his face, confusing me before I take another shot to calm my heart down, then put on a smile to lighten the mood.
“Who’s next?”