32. RAE
32
S neaking out on my birthday with Jared James Jensen wasn’t high on my list last week, but it’s the best gift I could wish for right now.
Sitting in the passenger seat of my car, again, I let the pine trees pass us by as I relax against the black leather. And it’s this moment here, just being with him, driving, that I’m the happiest I’ve ever been on my birthday since I’ve become an orphan.
I twist my head to meet his gaze.
“Are you sure you didn’t want to stay?” His blue eyes shortly connect with mine before they are aimed on the road again.
His tattooed arms look chiseled as fuck, bringing out every strong muscle as he holds his hand on the wheel. He looks sexy as hell driving my car.
“Pfft, are you kidding me? I didn’t even want a party in the first place.”
When he asked me to follow him, I eagerly jumped up, more than ready to avoid another curious look my way. I don’t think I can handle one more person asking what is going on between Jensen and me without acting like a bitch. The question bothers me because I don’t have an answer. It reminds me of the uncertainty that I know is hidden somewhere. I can feel it in my bones, but I’m going to do my fucking hardest ignore it for today.
It’s my fucking birthday after all.
“Your family isn’t going to get pissed?”
I snort, though I appreciate his worry about my family’s opinion on his little casual kidnapping. “Have you ever seen me at a Knights party past midnight? I bail on every party, including my own. I think they’re surprised I stayed for as long as I did.”
Normally, I’d stay an hour, then Kayla and I would go hang out at the riverbank with friends. But considering she ditched me for Bodi within the hour, I was more than happy to oblige when Jensen asked me if I wanted to sneak out with him.
Like two teenagers, we tiptoed out of the kitchen before we ran to the front door, laughing and getting into my car as fast as we could, giggling all the way.
He seems to have that effect on me.
Making me smile more than I’m used to.
Most of my happy thoughts are before the crash, but ever since Jensen barged in, my heart shines more every day. Like a slowly polished gemstone, showing more of its brightness bit by bit.
“Where are we going anyway?” I ask when he takes the interstate that goes to Raleigh.
His lips curl, then he reaches out to grab my hand, before twisting his fingers through mine, placing our hands on his lap as his thumb brushes mine.
There it is again, that infinite flutter. That feeling of bliss I’d like to keep forever.
“Are you hungry?” He kisses my hand, never letting go, and when I nod in agreement, I’m not just hungry for food. My skin pebbles in longing, desperate for him to kiss me everywhere. I’m hungry for him, and right now, I’m wondering if my appetite will ever be satisfied.
“Always.” Lust is written in my eyes as I drag my lip between my teeth.
“Get your head out of the gutter, woman,” he grunts. “I don’t wanna be late.”
“Late for what?”
“You’ll see.”
I narrow my eyes, getting a shit-eating grin in response. “Fine.”
He lifts my hand, pressing a soft kiss against my fingers as we continue to ride in a comfortable silence. The vibration of the car is calming me. The combination of the humming of the engine and Jensen’s skin on mine is a sensation I wish I could bottle. A favorite moment I never want to forget.
“Braedon?” I question, thirty minutes later, when I read the sign on the side of the road. “What’s in Braedon?”
“A friend of mine.”
My eyes widen, and I swallow in surprise.
“We’re going to a friend?” I know he just met my entire family, but for some reason, meeting his friend for dinner seems pretty official.
“He and his wife asked us to come over for dinner,” Jensen explains.
“He and his wife? So, it’s a dinner party?”
“You sound like Bodi. Saying how dinner with a couple is a dinner party.”
“Bodi is right,” I deadpan, though inside a tidal wave of excitement and anxiousness crashes through my state of relaxation.
“Baby, it’s just a friend and dinner, okay. Don’t panic. It’s casual, really.”
When I stay quiet, I glance over at him. My lips are pressed together in a straight face, but really, I’m suppressing a beaming smile, trying to act casual. Deep inside, I’m excited he wants to bring me to meet one of his friends. Maybe it’s not as official as meeting his family, but it certainly is something.
“You good?” There’s worry in his tone. See, it’s something.
“I’m good. I’m excited to meet them.”
Relief washes over his face, combined with a sigh. “Okay. Good. That’s good.”
The look on his face makes me believe this is a big deal for him too. It makes me want to put on my big girl pants and ask him to stay. To be with me and figure out what’s going on between us.
“What if they don’t like me?” Suddenly, anxiety gets the upper hand and my breath stutters, but when I turn my head to face him, it’s all gone as quickly as it came.
His features glare at me unimpressed as if I’m talking a different language.
“No one could ever not like you,” he scolds, softly squeezing my hand.
“You didn’t like me for five years.”
A laugh rumbles from his chest. “You were a pain in my ass, but I never said I didn’t like you. I’ve always liked you.”
Here I go, sliding out of my fucking seat. Who knew Jensen could actually say the right things when he’s trying to be sweet?
“They will love you.” He tentatively presses his lips on top of my hand once more, and I slip back into my relaxed mode.
How the hell did I end up here?
How the hell is it possible that Jared James fucking Jensen is the one who makes me feel like I can take on the world just by looking at me?
Five minutes later, he parks behind an old truck in front of a cute white house.
Roses give the home a cozy feel, and as I look at the swinging bench on the porch, I can imagine sitting there on a summer morning with a cup of tea.
We exit the car, and when Jensen is caught up with me on the grass, he grabs my hand again, shooting me a sweet smile. My cheeks flush red as I push a strand of my blonde hair behind my ear, welcomed by the flowery scent of the rosebed we approach. That weird feeling inside of me seems to intensify by the moment, and if he keeps giving me this Jensen, I think I’ll just combust into flames before dinner is over.
When walking up the porch steps, he places himself in front of me, cupping my cheek. “It will be fun. Don’t worry.”
I’m not sure if he’s convincing me or himself, but I love how considerate he is being. He presses a kiss to my forehead, then leads us to the front door. Before either of us can ring the doorbell, a loud deep bark echoes from inside before it’s followed by some muffled commands, and the bark dies down. I straighten my shirt with one hand, the other still intertwined with Jensen as we wait until the door opens and a tall, handsome guy smiles at us.
“Jensen! So glad you could make it!” I cock my head a little, staring at his familiar face. “Where’s Bodi?”
Jensen chuckles. “Doing nothing PG-13 with Rae’s cousin.”
“That bastard,” Hunter grins.
A black snapback sits backward on his head, giving him a boyish look, yet his physique shows he’s all man. My eyes bulge when I recognize the man standing in front of me.
“You’re Hunter Hansen,” I blurt, more starstruck than I intended.
Smooth, Rae.
He brings his attention to me with kindness on his face as he offers me his hand, accompanied with a wink. “And you’re Rae Stafford. Nice to finally officially meet you.”
I'm lost for words, struck by the realization that I'm about to enter the home of the greatest MMA fighter of my time. I've seen him on the few occasions Jensen brought him with him to sponsor parties, but I never actually spoke with the man even though I used to watch his fights with Johnny.
“You were amazing against Venom Valentina last spring! The way you knocked him out with that high kick? Phenomenal!” I hold his hand for a second too long, and I can see a slight glare forming on Jensen’s face from the corner of my eyes, clearly not impressed with the gawking look I’m sending his friend. “What?” I shrug. “It’s not every day you meet a champion.”
“Thank you,” Hunter chuckles, releasing me from his grasp.
“I just won the Stanley Cup,” Jensen deadpans, a little offended.
“Aah, don’t be jealous.” I wrap my arms around his waist, looking up at him with fluttering lashes. “You’re still my number one.”
He grunts, squinting his eyes, but still gives me a kiss, indicating he’s satisfied for now.
“You men have such big egos,” I joke.
“Don’t I know it.” A gorgeous woman appears behind Hunter, beaming at me.
Her dark blonde hair perfectly frames her face, and her sea-green eyes are laced with a sense of comfort, making me instantly like her. “I’m Charlotte.”
I give her a short wave, glancing at her belly. “I’m Rae. Congratulations.”
“Thank you!”
“How far along are you?” I ask, admiring her feminine curves.
“Twenty-one weeks.” Charlotte proudly rubs her stomach.
Her belly is petite, covered by a denim dress shirt, but she has that pregnancy glow that people always gush about.
She looks beautiful.
“Nice to finally see you again, stranger.” She tilts her head to the sulking man beside me, and his frown turns into a smile.
“Way too long, Charlotte.” He pulls her in for a hug. “You’re glowing, mama. I hope you are getting enough rest because a mini Hunter is gonna drive you madder than the OG one did over the years.”
“Don’t I know it. I’m not ready for that.” She complains, though her happiness is engraved in her features as she lets go of Jensen.
“No one is, honey.”
“Well, come on in.” She gestures her hand into the house. “I made fried chicken.”
I freeze, feeling the corner of my mouth rise, splitting my face in half. Slowly, I twist my head toward Jensen looking at me with amusement.
“She made fried chicken,” I gush.
She’s beautiful and she’s about to be my new best friend if her fried chicken is even remotely close to my Nana’s.
“I know.”
“You know?” I parrot, incredulous.
We all walk into the house, and the smell of my favorite dish enters my nose. I inhale deeply, my mouth watering just thinking about it while my stomach roars in excitement.
“You didn’t tell me we were having dinner at Hunter Hansen’s house,” I hiss, squeezing his side, as we follow Charlotte and Hunter into the big kitchen. “ And you forgot to mention his wife is making fried chicken. We should’ve brought flowers or something. Wine, chocolate, anything! You get deduction points, hockey boy .”
“I’m sorry, but you forgot to mention it’s your birthday.” I quickly glance between the married couple as we follow them into the kitchen, hoping they didn’t hear him.
“ Today .” He emphasizes loudly, and embarrassed as fuck I look for any hiding spots.
Asshole.
When I can’t find any, I give him a pained look, feeling like I want to crawl to China right now. A lazy grin forms on his lips, and he grabs my elbow, tucking me against his chest.
“I’m free of getting deductions today, you little witch.” He folds his arms around my body, tickling my side before pressing a kiss to my hair.
“Hold up.” Charlotte frowns from behind the white breakfast bar, the sound of boiling oil going through the room while we all look at her. “It’s your birthday?”
I sheepishly give her a smile while Jensen still holds me tight in his arms.
I’m glad he is, because really, I want to bury myself into his body, having no clue what they will think of me. Birthdays are not a big deal for me, but I know they are for everyone around me, always making me the odd man out whenever it's that time of the year again. After my parents died, I didn’t feel the need to celebrate my birthday.
The only reason I traveled back to North Carolina for it every single year was because Nana demanded it. And well, you don’t say no to Nana.
“Yup. She forgot to mention it in the last seventy-two hours. I found out when we walked into her surprise party this afternoon.”
Hunter and Charlotte exchange a look, a little perplexed. I wish I was a mind reader right now, because even though I normally don’t care what people think of me, for some reason, I want to make a good impression on Jensen's friends.
And this doesn’t make it seem like I’m doing a great job.
“Why didn’t you tell him?” Hunter finally asks.
I look for judgment in his narrow eyes, but I can’t find anything but curiosity.
“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”
“I get you,” Hunter approves, his curiosity now turning into triumph.
I glance between him and Charlotte, but I can’t read her at all, so I anxiously wait for her to say something while she scoops some fried chicken from the oil, setting it on the plate beside her. She can’t be a lot older than I am, but she holds herself with a confidence I admire, making me look up at her. Wanting to get on her good side. Although she doesn’t look like she has a bad side anyway.
“Yeah,” she finally begins, slightly shaking her head while dropping the strainer on the marble counter, “not gonna lie, I’d be pissed.”
“I am,” Jensen replies, indignant, though a smile haunts his face.
“This one tried that with his eighteenth birthday.” Charlotte points her thumb toward Hunter before she lowers another piece of chicken in the oil, while Hunter dives into the fridge.
“Yeah, she was not amused,” Hunter titters, holding out a beer to Jensen. “Beer?” he asks when his hazel brown eyes land back on me.
I shake my head. “No, thanks.”
“Charls makes a good Dark ‘n Stormy,” he then offers.
“Oh. Yes, please!” I reply, then turn my focus back to Charlotte. “What did you do when you found out it was his birthday?”
She meets my eyes, a devilish grin forming on her pink cheeks. “Hit him over the head.”
My eyes grow wide, pushing back a laugh when I imagine this tiny woman hitting the world’s greatest fighter. Hunter shrugs, not even denying it, and I laugh even harder, kinda surprised. Thankfully, the insecurity leaves my body, and I relax in Jensen’s arms still circling my waist, enjoying the warmth of his body against my cheek.
“What’s this, Charlotte?” Jensen mocks. “I knew you were feisty but you never told me you’d beat up MMA’s top fighter before his glory days. This is gold. I should sell this to the tabloids. Might get some heat off my back,” he jokes.
Charlotte straightens her spine with triumph in her green eyes. “I might be tiny, but I can take him.” She winks.
Hunter snorts. “She’s literally the only person on the planet that can beat me.”
“You’re damn right I am,” Charlotte throws me a conspiring wink and already I feel like I’ve gained a new friend in her.
There is a level of comfort created around me that has me grinning from ear-to-ear. I want to ask Charlotte if I can help her with anything before my attention is grabbed by a soft whine coming from the screened-in porch door. Behind it stands a big brown dog with fluffy hair, looking like an oversized teddy bear. He’s staring at me with gooey eyes, silently begging to come in.
Hunter sighs, then walks over to open the door for him.
“Oh, he’s so cute!” I break loose from Jensen to go and hug the most adorable dog I’ve ever seen. He wiggles his tail in excitement, pressing his nose against my cheek when I lower myself to give him a good rub.
“He really isn’t,” Hunter mutters, taking a pull from his beer.
“What? Look at his cute face.” I pout.
“I like him better when he’s not drooling all over my furniture.”
“Don’t listen to him.” Charlotte comes next to me after she turned off the stove, petting the dog with a loving look on her face. “This is Bruno. He came with my engagement ring.”
My heart melts. “Oh my God. Really?”
Charlotte nods, her beaming eyes like a kid on Christmas morning. “I always wanted one. When he proposed, Bruno carried the ring.”
“Who knew such a big bad fighter was really such a softy?” I mumble, only for Charlotte to hear.
“Ha!” she snorts, a face with triumph. “Trust me, in the end. They all are.”
“I’m not,” Jensen scoffs. “I don’t do romance.”
Charlotte huffs, amused. “I’ll talk to you in a few months.” Then she glances from me to him. “Or days.” Her eyes widen with suggestion, then she walks to the fridge to make my cocktail.
“Come on, let’s get outside,” Hunter offers, and Jensen follows him to the porch while I stay back, taking a seat at the breakfast bar.
Charlotte makes us two cocktails, and I glance around the kitchen, until she turns around, tucking a loose strand of her dark blonde hair behind her ear.
“Hunter told me you and Jensen have been all over TMZ for the last week. That must suck.” Holding two glasses in her hand, she takes the stool next to mine, placing one of them in front of me.
“Yeah.” I blow out a breath, keeping my eyes trained on my glass while bringing it to my lips.
A little confused, I stare at her glass before looking back up to her.
I mean, I’m not one to judge…But in this case I’m definitely judging.
“Mine is a virgin.” She cackles.
Oh, yeah that makes more sense.
Relieved, I join her in laughter while the tension leaves my shoulders, the nervous feeling that was still lingering in my stomach now completely gone.
“You’d think that low of me?” She keeps tittering with a silly smile.
“I don’t know?” I screech as we both shriek in joy, echoing through the entire kitchen. If there was any ice left between us, it’s now completely broken, and after a minute, we both manage to stifle our giggles and take a sip of our drinks.
“It’s not always fun, right? Dating a celebrity.” She stirs a finger through her drink.
My gaze finds hers in understanding. “How long have you and Hunter been together?”
She snickers, wrinkling her nose, then takes a big sip of her mocktail as if there’s a bigger answer to that simple question.
“Officially?”
I nod.
“Ten months.” She raises her eyebrows with a knowing look, looking at me over the rim of her glass.
Ten months? That’s not long at all, yet somehow they are already living together, married and have a baby on the way. Charlotte doesn’t seem like the girl who jumps into things.
I keep my eyes locked with her, waiting as she takes a sip and rolls her lips. “But we have a long history. We were best friends in high school.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yeah. The not-spending-a-day-apart kind. When I look back at it, we’ve been in love since the first day we met, but we agreed on friends. After that, life happened, and the timing was never right.”
“Then what happened?” I ask, hanging on her lip.
“It took him a while and a lot of heartbreak before he turned his shit around, but basically, he finally pulled his head out of his ass.” She chortles, though I don't miss the gravity in her eyes when she mentions it. “He might be fearless in some ways, but he’s always been terrified when it comes to admitting his feelings. He fucked up. And he fucked up big time .”
I avert my gaze. Her words left their mark on me. I know how Jensen makes me feel, and what I want. But I’m terrified to voice it, scared as hell that it might be the one thing that will make me lose what I have now. Even if that’s not much anyway.
“Have you always been in love with him?” I ask, twisting my head.
“Yes.” She pushes out a pained breath as if it still hurts to love him. “I tried to deny it, but it was useless. Whatever I did, he carved himself into my heart, and I couldn’t get him out.”
“How did you hold on?”
“I didn’t,” she admits. “At some point, I had to move on. I told him it was over, said my goodbye’s and started dating a guy from a few towns over a couple months later. But like the asshole that he is, he strolled himself back into my life one day and refused to leave.”
“No way!”
“Oh, yeah. I hated him as much as I loved him.”
I shake my head with a laugh. “Those arrogant athletes.”
“Right!” she bellows, sipping her drink, the cubes ticking against the glass at the motion while I mirror the action.
“Was it hard? Getting back together?”
“Extremely. But it was harder to stay away from him. I guess that’s how you know it’s real in the end.” A vacant look forms on her pretty face, and I watch her closely.
“What do you mean?”
“If you can’t stay away. If you keep being drawn in like a magnet every time you are around that person. If your heart keeps holding on, even though it’s already broken into a million pieces. To me? That’s love.” Her green eyes move back to mine, unspoken emotion swirling around her irises. “It’s shitty. But that’s love.”
My mind wanders off, thinking about my own heart. I’ve known it’s been broken since I woke up without my parents. I was sure it would never be mended again.
Seeing how Charlotte looks at Hunter, even though she admits her heart has been broken into pieces, makes me wonder if I can do that. If I can give away my broken heart to someone else. Hoping he will protect the pieces with his life.
I always thought I needed to hold what’s left of it close to me until the day I die.
But now, I’m not so sure.
Now, I’m wondering if even though my heart is broken, if it’s still capable of being loved.