Chapter 24
24
H e was there when I woke up screaming, eyes wide, heart racing. I buried my face under the pillow and wished like hell I could have been sent anywhere else. The Cimmerians had broken me. They’d planted a fear of pain so deep in my soul, I’d never break free. It wasn’t death I feared. It was the moments before, when I wasn’t in control of my own body, of the pain they’d wreak. Of the tears and the fear and everything they’d likely spent years learning how to coax free.
Thorne knelt beside my bed, brushing sweaty tendrils of hair from my face. “They won’t come here. You should know that.”
“My mind knows it’s irrational. When I’m awake, I’m free of it. But I can’t help what happens when I sleep. The nightmares are worse than those days hanging from the ceiling.”
His eyes narrowed as he sat on the edge of my bed. “Tell me about the nightmares.”
I rolled over, closing my eyes. “Go back to bed, Thorne Noctus. I don’t have it in me to do this with you right now.”
“I want to help you,” he whispered, placing a hand on my bare shoulder.
I lifted the sheets higher, making sure he couldn’t see any more of my naked body. “I don’t want your help.”
“Then tell me what you want. Tell me why you’re here. I know nothing of your past, your motives, your dreams. Tell me something. What makes you happy?”
I watched the flame in the lamp flicker as his questions filled the space between us. I didn’t want to answer, or even be kind to him. I wanted to stay mad and guarded. But I needed him to trust me. I needed him to believe that I could be useful to him, even if I was starting to question the fact. So I decided to tread lightly. Give a little, but stay on guard, safe behind the walls I’d forged for years and years. “I came to help a friend of mine and somehow we got separated. She’s in Death’s court now, and I’m here. With nothing and no one. I don’t have dreams, only nightmares. And my decision to walk out into your Parlor naked wasn’t made without thought. I need you to know that. I was trying to help.”
“I know,” he said, his voice only a whisper. “I’m sorry about the clothes. They’ll be back before you wake.”
“I don’t care about the clothes. Not really.”
The bed rocked as he stood. I let him get a few paces away. “Will you stay? Just until I fall asleep again?”
Rolling over to face him, I waited, watching him weigh the pros and cons, knowing he didn’t have it in him to make a single decision without thorough consideration.
After a long moment, he let out a soft sigh. “All right. I’ll stay until I know your nightmares are gone.”
Relief washed over me as he crossed the room. He grabbed the same chair as the previous night and carried it back, its legs scraping lightly against the floor as he positioned it beside me.
I watched him through heavy-lidded eyes, his tall frame looking slightly too large for the delicate furniture. He reached over to the nightstand where the stack of books I had borrowed from his study rested beside the little chipped teacup I’d stolen back. Long, deft fingers skimmed over the leather-bound spines before selecting one with a well-worn cover, its gilded title faded. I’d been weak, but he’d bent. A win.
The days passed like molasses sliding down a roof in the dead of winter. I worried and worried about Quill and my ticking time. I followed Thorne around the city, invited but bored out of my mind, and mostly, I kept my eyes and ears open for mention of a door, passage, portal, or even the Keeper, Reverius, god of all the things and names and pain in my ass. We hadn’t seen Harlow or Willard, we’d made few trips to the Hollow, and Archer was busy trying to secure a meeting with Alastor, who was apparently giving him the run-around. Thorne had replaced my wardrobe ten-fold, and by the end of the week, I was running out of reading material. Half the study bookshelves were empty, but the piles grew in my room. As did my careful collection of other bits and bobs around the house.
My prized possession was still that chipped teacup, its beauty lived in its flaws, a reminder that perfection was never what made something worth keeping. And though he’d replaced it twice, and questioned how I managed to keep finding it, I continued to steal it back, setting it on the bedside table for him to see each time he came crashing into my room late at night.
I’d grown tired of sitting around by hour two of day one, and with the weight of my days pressing down on me, by day three I couldn’t take it anymore and feigned a headache when Thorne announced he was off to run whatever errand he needed to with his driver.
I’d slipped out of the house fifteen minutes later and headed straight to the one place I thought I’d never go back to. Serene’s temple. There was no plan if the prince was there. I’d simply have to play the part of a worshiping mortal and take my chances. She’d invited me, I’d returned. It was that simple. I couldn’t tell her a thing about my bargain. But maybe gods gossiped and fuck if I wasn’t tired of sitting around waiting on fate to figure it out.
The temple, slightly southwest from Thorne’s home sat on Banshee’s Run. And if that wasn’t a sign, I didn’t know what was. Still, it was just as I remembered it, save the king’s guards standing watch outside. I supposed a goddess needed no such protection. In fact, I was sure she invited all walks of people into her little steamy dominion. As I crossed the threshold, the air thickened with a dizzying blend of jasmine and sandalwood that coiled around me like a lover’s embrace.
Just like last time, every surface was adorned with gold and silk, but despite the opulence, an eerie silence filled the space, broken only by the sound of dripping water, a rhythmic pattern that echoed through the cavernous halls feeding off the main room where Lithe had been held.
I followed the sound like a siren’s call. I knew it was fucking stupid, but so was waiting for answers to just magically show up. The temple seemed to breathe around me, the walls pulsing as if they were embodying the motion of countless lovers who had come before.
As I walked deeper into the temple’s heart, the sound of falling water grew louder until I stepped into a golden bathhouse and saw her reclining against the tiled edge of a sunken bath. Naked and resplendent, Serene’s skin glistened. Raven tresses spilled over her shoulders and breasts like rivulets of ink. Noticing my presence, her lips curved into a sensuous smile.
“You've returned, Paramour,” she purred, her voice a melody that seemed to vibrate my bones and make my skin tremble. “Come closer. The water is divine.”
As if in a trance, I walked. The steam from the bath curled around my ankles, beckoning me closer. With each step, the room grew more intoxicating, clouding my thoughts with a haze of desire. As I reached the edge of the sunken bath, I couldn't help but let my gaze travel the length of Serene's body. Her legs were spread invitingly, the water lapping at her inner thighs. Rivulets trickled down her skin, tracing paths I longed to follow with my fingertips, my lips. A flush crept up my neck as I dragged my eyes back to her face, trying desperately to focus on my purpose here. I didn’t want to fuck a goddess. I didn’t even want to speak to her. In fact, I hated the lack of control. Hated that I couldn’t even breathe. And the narrowing of her eyes told me just how much she loved it. She knew what she was doing of course.
“Join me. The water will soothe your troubles, ease the burdens you carry.”
I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly parched. The temptation to shed my clothes and slip into the steaming water beside her was nearly overwhelming. To let her touch chase away the paths that haunted me felt like the right answer. I bit the inside of my cheek, letting the metallic tang of blood coat my tongue, if only to remind myself of the true pain she’d caused me when I touched her.
Still, I needed to show her a semblance of respect if I wished to achieve anything other than an orgasm today, though I wouldn’t be mad about that either. Preferably from anyone but her. With a deep breath, I closed my eyes. “Forgive me, Goddess, but I must respectfully decline your generous offer.” The words felt like gravel in my throat, each syllable a struggle against the overwhelming desire that threatened to consume me. “I come seeking answers, not pleasure, though I am humbled by your invitation.”
Serene's laughter echoed through the chamber. “Answers? What makes you think I would answer to you? Do you think just anyone could open the door to my temple, let alone wander through it to find me in such a state? I’ve done you a favor by letting you look upon me.” She drew a hand from the steaming water and the droplets fell down her breasts as she looked down and said, “I will further that favor by letting you taste the water I bathe in. What more could a mortal want than that? Don’t you wish to please me?”
Fuck no.
“Yes. But you asked me to dance for you before, and I’ve thought of nothing else since that moment. If you would allow me, Goddess.”
Her eyes closed to slits. “I would believe you, had you not asked for answers first.”
“Forgive me, Goddess,” I said, bowing my head. “I do seek answers. But I would never presume to demand anything of you.” That didn’t feel like I was laying it on thick enough, so I kept going, trying not to fumble the words I would have rather vomited over. “I am but a humble beggar, hoping for a glimmer of your divine wisdom.”
Serene regarded me silently for a long moment, her fingers idly tracing patterns on the water’s surface. “And what answers do you seek, Paramour?” she finally asked, her tone deceptively light.
I’d thought about how I might ask this, the whole way here, and I wasn’t sure if it would work or not but I had to try. I couldn’t tell anyone about the deal with the big, bad god, but I could maybe skirt around that if she had any context. “I have a… task.”
She yawned. “I grow bored already.” She waved an arm and a man appeared in the water beside her. Not just any man, but Thorne. Thorne. Naked and glistening and fucking glorious. His hands roamed her body, caressing her skin with a reverence that made my heart ache, though I knew it shouldn’t have. Maybe I wanted to do naked things with him, but I also wanted to kind of kill him on a daily basis at some point, so it really didn’t mean much.
Serene tilted her head back, a soft moan escaping her lips as Thorne's fingers dipped below the water's surface. Her black hair fanned out around her, undulating gently with each ripple their movements created.
“Well, Paramour?” Serene purred, her voice thick with pleasure. “Care to join us now? I promise, the water feels divine, almost as much as the man.”
Thorne turned his head to look at me, hazel eyes smoldering with desire. He extended a hand, droplets cascading down his forearm. “Come, wife,” he murmured, his deep baritone sending shivers down my spine. “Let us worship you.”
I stood frozen, torn between the overwhelming temptation and the nagging sense that this was wrong, a manipulation. “N… no, thank you.”
The goddess stood from the water. Thorne, well, not Thorne, vanished and the entire room changed around us. No longer a bathhouse, but instead the hall where Lithe had been. She sat upon her throne, looking down at me, completely unamused. “I could lie and say I’m completely shocked that you were able to resist my power, but as there’s been such an imbalance lately, I’ll save us both the lie. Come closer.”
All pretenses were gone. No longer the sensuous being she’d been in the bath, with bedroom eyes and a silky smile, she simply stared at me hard, her gaze unforgiving as I did as I was commanded. She rose as I approached and gripped the sides of my face, though this time it didn’t burn so strongly. If anything, the touch was merely a sting. As if the power she’d had during Lithe had completely dissipated. “Speak your question. But only one.”
She played no more games and neither would I. “Assuming you know the task I’ve been given, how am I to complete it?”
“One should never make assumptions.”
“True, but here we are.”
The corner of her mouth turned up into a hint of a smile. “There’s a god on your path soon. Eyes and ears open, Paramour.”
“Which—”
She pressed a finger to my lips. “One question answered at no cost. I’ve been more than generous. Now leave before I change my mind about you.”
I thought about Alastor all the way out of the damn temple and all the way back to Thorne’s house. The god on the path. At least I was headed in the right direction. As long as he agreed to meet with us, though no one seemed convinced it would happen.
“I was pretty certain I bought clothing for you to sleep in,” Thorne said, for zero reason whatsoever as we sat together in silence, both reading in the office.
I looked down at my dress, confused. “I’m fully dressed this morning.”
“And I’m running out of shirts.”
I snorted. “No one to wash your laundry, husband? You spend one night in that itchy thing and report back. Then we can discuss it.” I flipped the page of the book I was reading, slipping back into the romance written across the pages.
“Good book?” he asked, pulling me right back into his study.
“I’ll let you know when you’re quiet enough for me to decide.”
He set his folded paper on his desk. “You’ve been on that one for days. I’m sure you have an opinion by now.”
“I think we both know you don’t really want to know what’s happening in here.”
“Try me.”
I straightened in my chair, seeing the opportunity for what it was. “In this one, our male main character has just laid the woman down by the fire and right now, he’s got two fingers?—”
“Changed my mind,” he said, throwing up a hand.
“Checking her pulse because she’s just fainted.”
“That is not what you were about to say.”
“Does Thorne Noctus have a dirty mind? What did you think I was about to say?” I asked, knowing full well this man was two fingers deep in a dripping vagina.
He leaned back in his chair, trying to maintain some semblance of composure. “No, I definitely do not.”
“My gods, I think you do. I should have said tongue instead.”
He leaned closer. “Two tongues instead of fingers? What the hell?”
“That feels like judgment. I don’t care for your judgment, sir.”
“It’s not… I wasn’t… You didn’t even say tongues. What the fuck is happening right now?”
“You’re wishing you had two tongues, I think. Honestly, you’re creeping me out.”
“I never said that.”
I nodded, eyes wide. “I think you did. Maybe more of your subconscious than anything but wow, consider me enlightened. I probably better hide these books from you. Imagine if I’d have mentioned the dragon tail in the one from last week.”
Three knocks sounded at the door, followed by a pause and one more. Thorne let out a long sigh. “Thank fuck. Expecting someone?”
“That’s Archer. He and Harlow always knocks the same way, but his is more aggressive.”
“Huh. I never realized.”
“Well, are you going to let him in or just sit there contemplating knock theory?”
He rose from his chair, closing the book he’d been reading and sliding back onto its very empty shelf. “Tomorrow morning when you’re staring at that last piece of fruit and contemplating finishing it, do us both a favor and do it. You’re so much more pleasant on a full stomach.”
He smirked at my middle finger before leaving to answer the door. I waited a beat, and then leaped up, hustling to the door to eavesdrop down the hall. But there was no need because the two of them came walking in, and I had to quickly pivot and pretend like I was admiring an old painting of a woman with exotic eyes and gold shimmering on her skin.
It surprised me, mostly. Thorne’s trust. For whatever reason, something he’d likely spent days considering, he hadn’t tried to hide his life and his lies from me. Once I learned he was the Lord of the Salt, it was like he’d opened the door to that world and let me in, unrestricted. He hadn’t spoken a word when he caught me reading his letters, hadn’t taken many meetings in privacy. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear he was trying to lead me down the promised path without telling me he was doing it. As if it were an unspoken understanding between us. Maybe he knew I was trying to leave this world and whatever I discovered wouldn’t matter in a few days, anyway. Maybe the real portal lay somewhere with Alastor. He was a god, after all. And clearly arrogant.
“Hey, Lady Salt, good to see you.” Archer paused, stroking a thumb over his smooth chin. “Nope. Doesn’t have the right ring to it.”
“You’ll get there eventually,” I said, flopping back down in my chair. “Any luck with Alastor?”
He waited for Thorne to sit. “Actually, yes. He’s finally agreed to meet with us. But only at the Hollow and he wouldn’t say when. We’re supposed to go there and wait for him to show up, I guess.”
“An indirect agreement. How god-like,” Thorne said, sitting back in his chair. “Did he give any sort of timeline? Are we to sit around for days? Weeks? Until the flowers in Prospector’s Pointe bloom for spring?”
While Thorne and Archer discussed the exact phrasing and each detail of the agreement, I lifted my book to hide my face. If I could get back to the Hollow, really spend some time there, maybe I could figure out why it was so important. Or if it was at all. It might’ve just been a name Reverius had known. A direction and nothing more.
“How many gods do you know?” I asked, sliding the book down when their conversation slowed. “In person, how many?”
“Personally?” Archer asked, playing with a coin. “I’ve only ever met Alastor twice. And Harlow met Vesalia out and about one day. They don’t really mingle amongst the mortals. We’ve gone to Lithe enough to recognize Serene as well.”
Unwilling to ask any burning questions, I let my gaze fall on Thorne. “How about you?”
He stood, walking around the desk to pluck the book from my hand. “I don’t think any mortal ever truly knows a god.”
What a very political response.
He held a hand out to me and I took it. “Don’t pack lightly, Paesha darling. The Hollow is cold at night.”
The narrowing of his eyes said more than his words. Sleeping in only his shirt was the last thing he wanted.
“Then maybe you should bring more wood for the fire. There’d be plenty of room if you left your arrogance at home.”
“You’d be bored by tomorrow.”
“But I’d be warm.”
He laughed, really laughed, and it took everything in me to ignore the way it soothed my soul. I balked at the thought. Maybe going to the Hollow was the best option. Putting space between us and the casual routine we’d been building was likely for the best.
“Just bring everything down you want to take, and I’ll pack it away for you. There’s a proper way to pack a trunk to optimize space and, based on your hoarding tendencies, it’s fair to say you have no such talent.”
“Do you just wake up and think of all the shitty things you might be able to squeeze into a conversation for the day before rolling out of bed, or do those little treats come to you sporadically?”
“It’s a gift really,” he said, face blank. “You open so many doors of opportunity.”
“And here I thought the two of you were starting to get along,” Archer said, rising from his seat.
I rolled my eyes before snatching my book back. “Trust me, this is tame.”
“There’s no time for reading. We need to leave.”
“I’m going to save us both the headache and let you pack for me. Consider it a door of opportunity. You’re welcome.”
Archer laughed, shook his head, and walked out.
Thorne pulled the book out of my hand again. “Better make sure I don’t forget to pack this one.”
I reached into the deep pocket of my dress and pulled out another without looking at him. “Good boy. Solid plan.”
The chaos within the Hollow was greater than I’d ever seen it. Though I’d only been to the warehouse a few times, it was typically quiet, maybe even somber. But today, people were running back and forth, it was packed with children and the occasional adult, looking around as if lost. Of course Jasper was there, his apron tied on backward and a wooden spoon in his hand, face grim.
“What’s happened?” Thorne barked, snatching Harlow by the arm as soon as she tried to shuffle by, a baby in her arms and another young boy clinging to her leg.
She passed the baby to another, and knelt down, whispering to the child and hugging him. He darted away, straight to Jasper. Harlow’s eyes filled with tears. “Tilly,” was all she could manage.
Thorne softened, pulling her into his massive arms. “Captured?”
She shook her head, burying her face. “Killed trying to keep Reuben away from the Cimmerians.”
Tilly… Tilly… I’d heard that name. I’d seen it on some of Thorne’s papers.
“Tilly ran the orphanage,” Archer whispered into my ear. “You met her husband in the Maw.”
The woman they’d saved at Tithe. The one that’d tried to give me courage. Atticus’s wife. I held my breath, swallowing the gasp and the twinge of heartache for a woman I never knew.
“What are we going to do with all these children?” Harlow asked moments later, stepping back.
“The same thing you’ve been doing,” I answered, though I knew it wasn’t my place. “Feed them, keep them warm, let them sleep with both eyes shut. That’s the best thing you can do.”
“We can’t take them back to Tilly’s,” Harlow said, looking up at Thorne. “Farris heard Reuben has magic, and he completely destroyed the place trying to find him. He told everyone Reuben stole a chest from Tithe.”
“He’s twelve!” Archer scoffed. “Who’s going to believe that?”
Thorne lifted a shoulder. “They don’t need to believe it. He just needs an excuse to capture him. Reuben will be tested and bound by nightfall.”
Harlow swiped away the tears and hardened her beautiful face. “Then I guess I better get going.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Har. You know it’s too late. There’s no way you’ll be able to get to him.”
“I’ll go too,” Willard said, pushing around the children to join the conversation. “That’s what we’re discussing, right? Reuben?”
“It’s a death wish,” Archer said. “If you get caught…”
“I’ll go too,” I added.
“No!” Everyone but Thorne said in unison.
When they all realized the deep timbre of his voice was missing, they spun to him.
“I can help. Let me.”
“I won’t take the choice away from you. But if you’re caught, there’ll be no question about your death if one of the Cimmerians recognizes you.”
He wasn’t wrong. And the lingering gaze said everything I knew his words hadn’t. If I was locked back into the Maw and somehow managed a second escape, I’d never sleep again. He wouldn’t put his foot down. He wouldn’t lord his command over me. But that only meant it was my job to be responsible enough to see the danger and shy away from it. And though he didn’t know it, this wasn’t my future. None of this was about me. I wasn’t even supposed to be in this world. I didn’t care. Not for them. Not for him. Not even for that little boy. And I was not a fucking hero.
“No, you’re right,” I said, taking a step backward. “I’ll stay here. Maybe see if Jasper can use my help in the kitchen.”
I wiped every thought from showing on my face as I returned his stare.
He waited. One moment and then two before turning his back to me and addressing the others. “Be quick, be smart, and don’t risk yourselves for him. If you can’t get him out, we’ll reconvene in the morning.”
“You’re not coming?” Harlow asked, hand resting on what I assumed was a blade hidden under her skirts.
“I’m going to bait Farris into a chase with the real Lord of the Salt to keep as many of his men as busy as I can. Don’t lead them back here. If you get the boy, take him to your place and wait for me.”
It took every ounce of self-control I had to stick to my selfish plan as I watched them all walk out that door, knowing I’d touched that boy. I knew exactly where he was.