Epilogue
Madeleine
Thank god the spring had finally come. I liked a magical snowy winter in the city as much as anyone, but like any sensible person, I’d had enough of blustery cold by mid-January. Chicago always took its time to warm up in the spring, waking up drowsily from a blanket of snow and yawning and hitting snooze, finally stirring into warmth around now, the middle of April, when I got to walk through the street with just a light jacket and leggings, pushing in through the door to the café, packed full right now with noise and chatter and bustle all around. Haley was on the register right now, clearly having learned some lessons from Sapphire, based on the big, poppy makeup look she had on right now with glitter blush under her eyes.
“What’s up, cutie,” she said when I got to the register, and I leaned against the counter, giving her a dry look.
“Best time to shoot your shot with me was a while ago,” I said. “Made your decision about the party yet?”
“Depends on what kind of cake there’s going to be…”
“Whatever kind you like least.”
She put a hand to her chest. “Mads. That is literally so fucking rude. Fine, yeah, I think I’ll go. Just…” She leaned against the counter, looking at the window. “Britt’s better and stuff now, right?”
“She’s Brittney Thomas. She doesn’t even remember ever having dated you. You’re fine. In fact, I’d argue you’re obligated to show up or I will construe it as that you don’t want to celebrate my girlfriend, and, well, we know how that’s going to end.”
“Oh my god, of course I want to support your girlfriend. Don’t forget who’s the one who ran after her and tapped her window with a stick, you know.” She tapped the register. “I’ve just got half an hour left in my shift and then I need to go wash the ick off me and I’ll be there. Now tell me what you want so that I can get back to batting my eyelashes and scoring tips.”
I laughed low, shaking my head. Haley—as much as we all loved her, in our own ways—was unbearable and would never let that go.
Not that I minded, really. I liked to think Sapphire and I would have found our way back to one another no matter how it had happened, but I still woke up every morning in disbelief that I was actually dating Sapphire. And I could never be too mad at Haley for anything ever since that whole thing had happened.
It had been a wild few months since the whole confrontation with her mother, and we’d been lucky that her family hadn’t gone after us as much as they could have. Sure, there was some—we all got strongly worded letters, and my academic advisor had sat down with me after getting some worrying communications, making sure I wasn’t involved in anything sketchy, and the only one of us with a corporate job, poor Ellen almost lost her job with the complaints coming in from Sapphire’s parent’s contacts.
But Sapphire had stood her ground, so I had too. And as much as I still found him a little weird, Andrew had reliably dealt with the logistical issues and served as a point of contact for the family, still keeping in touch with Sapphire’s siblings, and finally, they were starting to back off. None of us had heard anything since last week, and obviously it wasn’t the end, but with how it was getting more and more sparse—we all knew how these things worked. They’d disappear slowly, and then all at once.
The sooner, the better. But for the time being, I had Sapphire, and she’d even managed to score her first major gig as a makeup artist, working with a team for a fashion event on the week it was in Chicago, early next month. Britt and I had tripped over each other trying to be the first to suggest a party to celebrate it, even knowing Sapphire was going to melt of embarrassment protesting we don’t even know if I’m going to do well, maybe I’ll embarrass myself, and just the next day we had a whole surprise party ready.
Thanks to the fact that we’d only told Haley about it this morning so she wouldn’t run her big mouth and accidentally tell Sapphire. Seems like it had worked. Sapphire had just asked me a bit ago if I wanted her to pick up something for dinner while she was out, and I’d tactfully told her come back to my place after work and we can decide together, I don’t want to wait any longer to see you.
“Trust me,” I said, turning my attention back to Haley, “I physically cannot forget you went and tapped her window with a stick. Mostly because I have nightmares of you doing the same to me even though I live on the twelfth floor. I’m doing a coffee run, so… a flat white for me, iced latte for Britt and one with vanilla for Sapphire, black iced coffee for Zach, iced americano with oat milk for Ellen, and Meg said surprise me, so… surprise me, I guess.”
Haley absolutely did surprise me—a salted caramel mocha with whipped cream and crushed peppermint candies on top, which did not seem like it could be a good combination, but hey, Meg knew what she was getting into when she said those magic words. I was waiting at the handoff plane, texting Britt to see her and Ellen’s updates on party preparation—mostly Ellen doing the work and Britt snacking—when Bert’s voice cut through the din, coming from the back with a big bag of coffee tucked under his arm.
“Madeleine? How are you coming in here on your day off and not bringing your girlfriend?”
I sighed through a smile. “I ordered her a drink, too, Bert, don’t worry. You’re getting your profit margins. We’re all treating her to a surprise party tonight… scored a big job.”
He grinned, tearing open the coffee bag with his bare hands—I could never get them open without scissors—and upending it into the bean grinder, even though he probably could have ground them with his hands. “See, buying her expensive drinks is only half the story. I haven’t seen her in here in a bit, and Jess’s boyfriend has been working out of state, and Haley’s still playing games, so I don’t get to see any of that cute shit with people giggling and flirting awkwardly over the counters.”
“Get a girlfriend yourself, Bert.”
“Can’t. Married to my job. We all make sacrifices for the greater good, Madeleine.”
I laughed. “Sapphire’s been working a ton lately, too… working part-time at Sephora and trying to score clients, she’s been doing a lot. I’m proud of her, you know, seeing how far she’s come, how much she’s done.”
He puffed his chest out, grinning, standing up taller. “There we go,” he said, throwing the empty bag into the trash can. It fell out and landed on the floor, and he ignored it. Thank god I wasn’t working today, I’d slap him. “That’s what I’m looking for. Coming in and gushing about how proud you are of your cute little girlfriend. Ah, young love. Bet you two will be just as sappy when you’re old and wrinkly too though.”
I laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of my head. “Yeah… I can see it. Hey, I lucked out with her, you know. I’m not going to stop being obsessed with her so easily.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Haley said, setting down the second of my drink carriers stocked with the rest of my drinks, “brag some more, why don’t you. Some of us aren’t getting any girls!”
I scowled at her. “You don’t want a girlfriend, you want to break girls’ hearts and run away cackling into the sunset.”
She puffed out her cheek. “I’m not anti-girlfriend. I’m just waiting for the right woman! And passing my time with the wrong women while I wait! Don’t blame me just because I have too much love to share. Anyway, there’s your drinks, so go back to your party so I can be there and watch you gaze hopelessly at your girlfriend.”
“Thanks, Haley. See you later,” I said, picking up the drinks, balancing the two carriers carefully, and I pushed back to the door and out into where the crisp blue sky of springtime was streaked with long, thin clouds like ribbons, snaking through the tall buildings of Printer’s Row. I cut through the gardens and got back to the apartment complex, where I had to fumble the door and the elevator buttons with my elbow, but judging from the noise at the apartment when I stepped out of the elevator and into the hall, I figured I’d be safe just elbowing the door to knock instead of fighting for my life to get my keys. Turned out to be wrong, though, when Britt called through the door.
“There’s nothing here! I mean, there’s a leak… in the sink. Floor’s flooded. Sorry, Sapph. Come back in a minute?”
“Jesus Christ, Britt, it’s me,” I said. “Also, you’re a terrible liar. Open the door.”
“You could have led with that,” Britt said, throwing the lock and opening the door to where she was dressed in a pink vest suit, and she didn’t even say hello before she leaned through the door and took her iced latte from the carrier, slurping it loudly. “God, that hits the spot.”
“You’re a filthy animal. Tell me you’ve actually been helping with the party and not just making Ellen do everything.”
Britt put her hands up. “I’ve been helping!”
Ellen, walking past behind her with a bundle of ribbons, smiled flawlessly past her. “She’s been making me do everything. Thanks for the coffee, Mads.”
Britt scowled. “Enemies on all sides. Thanks for the coffee. How much do I owe you?”
“We’re even for breakfast yesterday.” I stepped inside, waiting until the door was shut and Ellen was occupied pinning ribbon up around the window—Sapphire was a sucker for ribbons, and Ellen was a sucker for thoughtful touches, which meant she’d gotten a bundle of them to dress the place up for Sapphire’s celebration—before I set the drinks down on the tablecloth and leaned closer to Britt to say, “Haley’s coming around for the party. Sure you’re going to be all right?”
She waved me off. “Girl, I’m literally so over her. I saw her posting on Instagram at an indie music show with Gia being all cute and stuff and I literally did not care at all. I even liked the post. I didn’t comment, though. Because I literally don’t care.”
Okay, so Britt still cared a little. Whatever. They’d been in the same room together when Meg was sick and we’d been taking turns looking after her, and they hadn’t clawed each other’s faces off, so they were at least heading in the right direction. Still, I frowned. “Gia, like the one who volunteers at the art center? Haley’s screwing with her now?”
“Seems like it, yeah. Whatever. They can do what they want, I hope they have fun.”
Haley was a menace. Whatever… as long as she wasn’t breaking Britt’s heart again, all was well. And I’d have to hope she didn’t go after anyone else really close in the group… I wouldn’t put it past her to try making a throuple out of me and Sapphire.
Meg and Zach showed up together before long, and we got to finish the party dressings just in time for Haley to arrive with nothing left for her to do, and she showed up with a bottle of white rum and was making a mai tai before we’d all even really processed that she was here, and the chatter and noise of everyone squeezed in around hushed when I got a call from Sapphire, and I held up my hand signaling for quiet as I answered it.
“Hey, gorgeous,” I said, leaning back against the door, kicking one foot up across the other. “All done with work?”
“Thank god,” she said down the line. “Eight-hour shifts take it out of a girl… I hate having to go that long without hearing your voice.”
“Ha. You’re such a relentless flirt. Someone needs to lock you up.”
Haley rolled her eyes, making a production out of it. As if she didn’t go tracking down Sapphire when she’d tried to leave specifically to make sure she and I could flirt like this. Sapphire’s voice was sweet down the line. “You could definitely do that tonight…”
“Ah.” I hoped her voice wasn’t clear to the rest of the room. “I will… neither confirm nor deny anything. Are you coming by now? I’m flopped on the couch after my lecture and don’t want to do anything except eat snacks with you.”
“So that’s a yes to me picking up dinner?”
“It’s a yes to you coming directly back here before I die of loneliness.”
“You’re sounding like Britt,” she laughed, and Britt made a face like she couldn’t believe she was being used as a cautionary tale. Which implied she at least could hear what Sapphire was saying… I’d just pretend that other bit hadn’t happened, and we’d all be happily none the wiser.
“Only out of petulance because you’re not here,” I teased. “I had to go eight hours without you, too, you know! We can figure out dinner once you’re here.”
She paused. “Madeleine… just to put it out there that I’m not saying no, but is the reason you’re so eager to see me again as soon as possible…”
Britt smiled wider. I shot her a look. “Well, sue me if I want to spend time with the woman I love,” I laughed. “Just tell me you’re getting here soon.”
“Five minutes and I’ll be there. For whatever that looks like.”
Britt was never letting me live this down. Whatever. We’d already been, uh—loud—without realizing Britt had gotten back midway through. Proper and decent had fully left the building a long time ago.
Unfortunately, turned out it wasn’t just Britt, though, because when I hung up, Haley accosted me immediately with, “I’d have given you more space if I knew you just wanted to have phone sex with her.”
“Shut,” I said, putting a hand up, “and I cannot emphasize this enough, up.”
Meg beamed. “You’re a healthy couple. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Uh-huh. Look, Sapphire’s going to be here in a second, so behave… normally.”
Nobody did, but I would have been confused if someone had. I knew this band of freaks and weirdos like the back of my hand. It was still rowdy by the time I heard the elevator ding outside a few minutes later, and I had to hush everybody so Sapphire didn’t get the heads up on her way in. The door unlatched, and I waited with bated breath as the handle turned, and Sapphire stepped inside and jumped with a gasp, hands to her chest—as if she didn’t know us all well enough to expect it—when Haley and Britt both about tripped over each other to jump forward and shout surprise. Zach put on the music while the others clapped, cheered congratulations , and Sapphire put her face in her hands, laughing while red-faced.
“Oh my god, all of you—you cannot give me a party for this! We don’t know how it’s going to go! What happens if I screw up and royally embarrass myself and—and then this party will feel awfully silly, won’t it?”
Britt broke out laughing. “Oh, practically word-for-word what Mads guessed you’d say.”
Haley put her hands on her hips. “If they don’t like your work, I’ll break their fucking kneecaps, so I think it’s safe to say we’re all good here.”
Ellen elbowed her. “Haley, please stop cosplaying a mafia boss.”
Sapphire dropped her hands, giving a tired smile over the room before she settled on me with that perfect soft smile she had down to an art. “Thanks, everyone… seriously, you didn’t need to do this.”
She really was radiant… just seeing her like this, even looking tired in her work outfit, hair pulled back into a neat utilitarian ponytail without all the pretty braids she normally did, she had this glow about her, the kind of person who lit up a room just by walking in. The glow of a person who’d crafted her own life, against all odds.
She’d always talked about how she didn’t know how to be like other people. I didn’t know how to express to her how much I wanted her to be exactly the person she was. How grateful I was that she was her own person instead of being all the things the world had told her to be.
Still didn’t feel right that this woman actually spent every day choosing to stay with me. Didn’t think I’d ever figure out how I’d pulled that off.
I stepped forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek, leading her inside and shutting the door behind her. “You’ll do amazing. And even if it doesn’t work out well, it’s still an accomplishment that you’ve come this far. Let us be proud of you.”
She gave me the most brilliant smile, leaning against my side. “You spoil me, you know. So this is why you were so eager to get me here as soon as possible…”
Britt, the asshole, spoke for me. “There’s other reasons, too.”
“Ignore Britt. I got you a drink, too, but I imagine you want to get changed first.”
“You’re the best,” Sapphire said, and she pressed a quick kiss to my lips before she headed for the bedroom—my bedroom, but of course she had clothes here too to get changed. We were kind of inseparable like that. Britt always teased us, but, well, only because she was jealous.
Things worked out okay even with Britt and Haley in the same room, the two of them even talking to each other like normal human beings again, and Sapphire sat pressed up against my side squeezed in at the couch while the rest of the group sprawled over the sofa, bar seats at the table, the floor, all with our paper plates talking and laughing over obscure inside jokes, but my mind was only halfway there. The other half, the whole time, was focused on the presence of Sapphire sitting next to me, leaning more and more into me over the course of the evening, and when she rested her head on my shoulder, I sank into her feeling like I’d never belonged anywhere as much as I did here.
Even when Britt tried to sneak an olive into my food, which I only found out when Meg made a face and spat out an olive and Britt went marble-white looking between her plate and mine.
The party trickled down to nothing at the end of the evening, Ellen the first one to crash on us—always the bellwether of the night coming on, and she excused herself out the door with one more congratulations to Sapphire, and before I knew it, it was just me and Sapphire and Britt, and Sapphire stood up from where she was draped over me, stretching out her arms.
“I’ll clean up,” she said, and Britt and I both shot her a look at the same time.
“The hell you will,” Britt said. “Who cleans up a party thrown for them?”
Sapphire put her hands up. “I’m the only one who didn’t do anything for the party! It makes sense!”
“You’re forgetting Britt,” I said. Britt scowled at me.
“I helped plenty. I helped with the food!”
“And snuck an olive onto the wrong plate.”
She put her chin up. “Every great artist has to make her mistakes. I’ll clean up so that Mads stops bullying me. You two get back to Sapph’s place and let me handle this.”
She was absolutely trying to get me and Sapphire to have sex. This girl was such a voyeur. Still, Sapphire’s place tonight sounded amazing—sex or no, falling asleep next to her and spending a slow morning together tomorrow was the best way to spend any night.
It took a little bit of insisting for me to get Sapphire out the door with me, leaving the mess to Britt, and once we were in the elevator, I addressed Sapphire’s cute little pouty face by saying, “Britt’s still a little hung up on Haley. She needs a little alone time with a menial task to keep her mind busy.”
“Oh…” She dropped her shoulders. “You should have just said so.”
“In front of Britt? She’d throw something at me.”
She laughed. “You two are always a fun dynamic to be a part of.”
“It’s… a dynamic.”
She gave me a teasing laugh, a little push on the shoulder. “You love her. I see right through you.”
“Hm. Well, if that’s what you’ve decided, I’d be loath to contradict it.”
We took the long way back, a stroll through a night that was warm for the season, her hand clasped in mine—I’d used to be afraid whenever we did, watching the surroundings like her parents or some hired lackey would jump out from nowhere, but as everything faded into the distance, all I could think was that I wanted as much of Sapphire as possible, as close to me as I could get.
Her apartment felt as much like home as my own these days, and we were in the middle of stripping off shoes and coats when Sapphire laughed, and I followed her gaze to a fruit bowl on the counter.
“Andrew again,” she said, hanging her coat up by the door and walking over to the counter, picking up a green apple.
“Bringing you fruits?”
“I gave him a key so he could check the place while we were still being careful around it, not so he could fuss over me,” she laughed. “I used to close myself up in my room for the longest time when I was little, and he’d put fruit bowls outside the door with a note telling me to eat my five a day. I guess the more things change…”
“I guess butler training involves breaking into people’s homes to slip fruit in.”
She laughed, tossing me a tangerine, and I caught it with a fumble. “He left twice as much this time, though. Get your five a day, sweetheart.”
“I’ll never understand that man,” I laughed, but I took it—peeled the orange and tucked in, and Sapphire and I stood in the kitchen together over one of our obligatory five a day before we flopped on the couch together, Sapphire watching makeup videos and taking notes in her cutely manicured notebook with perfect neat little calligraphy lettering and tidy headers, and with me fussing over my latest drawing for class. We went late into the night, just spending time close to one another even without a word, until we crashed late, getting ready and climbing into bed together, where she left the thick curtains open so we could see the glow of city lights faintly through the sheer half curtain left, casting long thin streams of light over where she lay on the pillow next to me, eyes heavy with sleep as she smiled at me.
“Thanks for the party today,” she said dreamily. “Although it’s definitely premature…”
“Then I guess we’ll have to have another one for you when it goes well.”
She laughed. “You’re so cute.”
“I want to celebrate you,” I laughed, tousling her hair. “You’re making it to the big leagues. And pretty fast, too.”
“What can I say? Just… overflowing with talent over here.”
“You really are, though.” I let my hand fall, trailing my thumb over her cheek. “Not a lot of people out there who have the guts to do what you’ve done, sweetheart.”
“Mm. Couldn’t have done any of it without you. I love you…”
“I love you, too, beautiful. Now, you look like you’re about to fall asleep on me. Shall we get to sleep?”
She pouted. “I wanted you to tie me up tonight…”
Well, that was tempting. “Hey, if you’re too tired tonight, neither of us has anything to do tomorrow morning…”
That got rid of the pout. She lit up, settling contentedly into the pillow. “You make an excellent point.”
“I’m overflowing with good ideas just like you’re overflowing with talent.”
She laughed, leaning forwards to peck me on the lips. “I’ll see you in the morning, darling.”
“Sweet dreams.”
“They usually are these days…” she said, clearly already drifting.
That was fair. I was living a lot of good dreams these days, too.