Chapter 43
IF I DON”T MAKE IT BACK
J.D. Stevens
“This isn’t a good idea, man,” Caesar repeated for what felt like the millionth time.
For the last twenty minutes, we had been sitting in the hospital parking lot, surrounded by the sounds of honking cars and distant sirens. I had been trying to convince him to help me out, and he’d been trying to get me to change my mind.
But I would do it with or without his help. I was getting ready to finish this shit, and I had to make amends with her first. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t awake. I believed from the deepest depths of my soul when she woke up, she’d know I’d been there. All I needed him to do was create a diversion to keep her family, and the police occupied, so I could do what I needed to do.
“It probably isn’t, but I’m still going through with it. I need to see her and tell her some things just in case shit goes to hell when I get to Vegas.”
He stared at me for a moment, then gave a nod. “I’ll do what I can. But you’re gonna have to make it quick man, Rumi isn’t fucking with me right now. She’s blaming me for everything. Which isn’t new.”
“I’m sorry man,” I said. “I know you love her.”
He chuckled, but the sound lacked any trace of amusement. “What’s that song? Sometimes love just ain’t enough. I fucked up and now I’m living with the consequences of my decisions.”
He shrugged, attempting to hide his emotions, but the longing for Rumi was clear in his voice. Even though I didn’t understand their relationship because Rumi was a bitch, to him that didn’t matter and seeing him with her made me understand him more.
“Maybe she’ll come around.”
“That ship sailed a long time ago, man.” He gripped the steering wheel, then looked at me. “What’s the plan?”
“You just keep everyone distracted, and I’ll slip into the room, say what I got to say, then I’ll be out.”
He nodded in agreement, then pushed open the driver’s side door and hopped out of the truck. I took a deep breath and released it. I wasn’t sure what I was going to see when I went in there, but I knew it was something I had to do.
***
From the stairwell, I watched Caesar approach Rumi, who was just outside the sliding glass door opposite the nurse’s station. It was going to be difficult to slip by, so I hoped Caesar’s distraction worked.
I didn’t know the man talking to Rumi, but his gaze spoke volumes—it was filled with absolute love and adoration for her. Rebel had mentioned Rumi was engaged. This might be the fiancé.
Poor guy.
Caesar walked up to Rumi, grabbed her, and laid a kiss on her that startled her, but she didn’t push him away. Instead, she tightly clutched the lapels of his coat, pulling him closer. The stranger didn’t know what the hell was happening or what to do about it. And I think Rumi was just lost in the moment. Lost in her love for Caesar.
When the man got over his shock, he yanked Caesar away from Rumi, then punched him in the jaw and all hell broke loose. That was my cue. All the nurses and Rumi’s attention was fixed on the intense fight between Caesar and the man. I crept out of the stairwell, and quickly rushed to the sliding door of Rebel’s room. As the door slid open, I slipped inside unnoticed.
When I laid eyes on her, my fucking knees nearly gave out. She looked dead. The lack of color in her face and the stillness of her body was startling. If it wasn’t for the constant beeping of the machines, I wouldn’t have known she was alive. Her beautiful dark brown skin had no life in it. No vibrancy, like I was used to seeing. As I breathed in deeply, I felt a sense of calm wash over me, and I composed myself. I approached her, and once I reached her bedside, I gripped one of her icy hands.
“Fuck, sweetheart.”
I clenched my teeth, suppressing the sob trying to escape my throat. I needed to do this. I didn’t experience this with Dani, and I was determined not to let the opportunity slip away with her. I loved her with everything in me. I needed to tell her before it was too late. I had no doubt she’d pull through. She was strong and if anyone could, it would be Rebel. What I was uncertain of was if I was going to be around after all was said and done.
“You have been the best thing to happen to me in a long time, Rebel Pierce. And I hope you know I haven’t taken our time together for granted. And I haven’t taken you for granted. You’ll pull through this and if I don’t make it back after all this is done, I want you to know how much I love you. You’ve shown me that although I thought my world ended with Dani, that it really didn’t. You’ve shown me how to open my heart again and I will forever be grateful. I’ve got to go now, but if I don’t see you in this life again, baby, I will see you in the next. That’s a promise.”
I leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead, then pulled back. “I love you, sweetheart. Until the day I die.”
I wished she would say it back, so I could hear her voice one more time. I had no doubt she loved me because she told me when I brought her to the hospital. It was just hard not hearing the words one last time.
Caesar’s voiced echoed through the door. As he spoke, I sensed the urgency in his words. My time was up, and security was on the way. I hated to leave, but I didn’t have a choice.
After kissing her lips, I took a deep breath and without glancing back, I strode towards the door. If I looked at her, I knew I wouldn’t leave. As the door slid open, I peeked my head out. Rumi stood in between the man and Caesar. Caesar glanced my way briefly, I nodded to him, and rushed towards the stairwell, slipping back inside.
I still heard Caesar, but his voice was louder, so I knew he was headed my way. I rushed down the stairs, and out the exit. He’d probably be banned from the hospital, but I was glad he helped me out.
I opened the door of the truck and jumped inside. A few minutes later, Caesar emerged from the same door I had. Then he jogged across the parking lot and jumped inside the truck.
“You get done what you needed too?” he asked as he started the truck and peeled out of the parking lot.
“I did. She didn’t look good, Caesar.”
“It’s fucking, Rebel Pierce, man. Like, I”ve said before, I’ve known her a very long time. If anybody can pull through this shit, she can.” He looked at me then focused back on the highway. “You just make sure your ass makes it back from Vegas or I’m going to fucking kill you myself.”
I laughed, my head bobbing in agreement. I didn’t have any plans on dying, but the uncertainty of what awaited me in Vegas hung in the air. I still didn’t believe Grimm had anything to do with Dani, but I did believe, Fergus did. I just wanted to know why. Why the hell would he take them away from me?
“When are you leaving?”
“As soon as possible.”
“You calling Grimm, to let him know you coming?”
“I thought about it. If I do, it’ll be when I get into town.”
“You don’t think you need to give him a heads up on what’s going on?” Caesar asked.
“How can I do that, when I don’t know who’s involved in all this shit and why?” I sighed. “I’ll give him the courtesy of letting him know I’m coming to him but as a Prez of Demons United.”
“I think that’ll be good. We don’t want to start a war when it’s unnecessary.”
“I agree,” I said. “Was that Rumi’s fiancé?”
“Yeah, that was him,” he said with bitterness in his voice. “I’ve got to get her out of my system.”
“And kissing her is going to help you do that?” I asked, laughing.
“Fuck man, it’s all I could think to do when I saw them together. She used to look at me that way and... fuck, I don’t know!”
“You still love her, Caesar. Until you deal with the past, you’re never going to be able to move on to the future.”
“Speaking from experience?”
“Of course. I’ve made steps and I can say I love Rebel, but I know, and she knows too, that we can’t move forward until I end all this shit. And I’m ready to make that move. Revenge is slowly killing me, and I know Rebel is my salvation. My second chance.”
“Well to deal with the past, Rumi has to let me in, and I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”
When I looked at my friend, I saw the pain in his eyes. He’d done a number on Rumi according to him and Rebel, but her leaving him had also done something to him. Something he hadn’t been able to repair.
“Never say never, my friend. Fate has a way of throwing you a curve ball when you least expect it.”
He said nothing else, and neither did I. We both had a lot to think about. I was ready for all this to be over. I wanted to start my life with Rebel with a clean slate. A heart void of revenge and filled with love for Siobhan, my brothers and Rebel. I would always love Dani and Luca but once they got justice, it was time for a new start.