Chapter 52
CLOSURE
J.D. Stevens
Las Vegas
I want to fucking burn the world down. What the hell kind of parent would do that to their kid? I can’t wrap my head around the fact that my fucking mother who I loved didn’t leave me. He killed her. The man that was supposed to love me unconditionally and take care of me has tried to destroy every aspect of my life because my mother and I tried to leave him. He was selfish and toxic. Nobody deserved the treatment we got.
I dragged my hand across my face, trying to wipe away the exhaustion and frustration. So much pain. So much death all because one bitter man.
We took three cages to where Grimm believed my mother’s body was just in case we could find her. He cautioned me, saying there was a strong chance we wouldn’t locate her, so I shouldn’t get my hopes up. And we couldn’t actually depend on Fergus telling us the truth. It could have been one last final fuck you to me. But I had to hope that at least this time he told me the truth.
According to Grimm, the area was vast and desolate, serving as a secret dumping ground for Sinners to dispose of trash. Grimm brought only a handful of his brothers with us to the site, fearing that the police might discover the location and endanger every Sinner. I understood he was making a huge sacrifice for me to have my mother’s body. I appreciated it.
“Thank you for doing this for me,” I said. “I know what the repercussions could be if someone finds out about this place.”
“You need this. And you’ve blamed yourself for a long time for her leaving.” He gripped the wheel tighter. “I can’t believe he did all of this. Just because he was pissed, she was going to leave him, and you didn’t want to have anything to do with him.”
“I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, man.” I sighed, shaking my head. “She’s been out here all this time, and I thought she left me because she didn’t love me.”
“He was a manipulative motherfucker, just like Angus,” Grimm said. “They’re cut from the same cloth.”
Even though it was dark inside the SUV, the glow from the interior lights of dash lit enough of Grimm’s face where I could see the frown lines.
“How’s that going?” I asked to take my mind off of digging up my dead mother in a few minutes. “It’s got to be different now that he’s home.”
“As good as to be expected. It’s Angus, and he’s dying.”
A soft chuckle escaped my lips. “I can imagine. He’s probably more of a pain in the ass than what he already was.”
“That’s for sure,” Grimm said. “I think he’s made peace with his life and that he was a piece of shit to his family, but he’s still pissed he can’t choose how he goes.”
“He’s a control freak, so I can understand that.”
Grimm grunted as we pulled off the highway onto a dirt road. Our headlights were the only lights anywhere around.
“It’s just right up here. About a half a mile on the right.”
I took in a deep breath before releasing it. “What did you do with his body?”
As he looked at me, I locked eyes with him, refusing to break my gaze. I knew he had every right not to tell me to protect the Sinners, but I wanted to know.
“It’s me, Grimm. I’m not going to say shit.”
“I had him cremated. His ashes will be tossed into the wind. If you find her, what are you going to do?”
“Take her home,” I said. “You think you can cremate what’s left?”
“Yeah,” he said without hesitation.
She’d been out here by herself for far too long. There was no way I’d let her remain in Las Vegas. I was her only child. She should be with me.
Grimm pulled to a stop and killed the engine. I pushed the door open then stepped out and looked around. We were in the middle of nowhere. I could see why they used this place. It was a dark and secluded place, where the only sounds were the rustling of critters and the buzzing of bugs.
Grimm left his headlights on, casting a bright beam of light ahead, while the two cars behind us turned off their lights. The sound of car doors slamming echoed around us. Schizo and Hannibal walked up beside me.
“How many bodies are out here?” I asked, looking around the clearing.
“I love you little cuz, but I’m not answering that,” Grimm said when he stopped in front of me.
He took a shovel from one of his brothers, then he handed me one.
“How will we know it’s her?” Schizo asked.
Fuck! I hadn’t even thought about that. With the number of bodies that I believe may be out here there was no fucking telling where she was at. A fucking bush and a rock in the desert.
“There’s only one other woman buried out here. Redhead,” Grimm said. “And she’s not near a bush with a rock. Before we dig in random spots, let’s look for that first.”
Everyone nodded in agreement, and we dispersed in different directions, the sound of our footsteps fading away. I wished I could do this by myself because I knew I’d need time to grieve in private, but it would probably take days. So, grieving would have to happen later. With everyone lending a hand, it wouldn’t be long until one of us found her. I can’t believe he’d gotten away with this for so long.
I took a deep breath and released it, closing my eyes. “I’m here now,” I said, hoping she could hear me. “If you’re out here, help me find you.”
When I opened my eyes, I just started to walk. I hoped Fergus wasn’t fucking with me and she was really out here. There were bushes scattered everywhere but none that I could see had a rock near them. I was venturing into the darkness, pushing the limits of the headlight’s reach, and straying further from the clearing where we parked.
“I’ve got something!” somebody shouted.
I jogged to where one of the Sinners was standing beside a bush, its leaves rustling in the dry breeze.
“What do you think?” the Sinner asked. “It’s the only bush I saw that had a rock anywhere near it.”
“Only one way to see,” Grimm said. “Dig Dagger and see what you find. If she’s here, she’s not going to be deep because there’s no fucking way Fergus would have dug a deep hole.”
Dagger started digging, and we all stood around waiting in anticipation. I sent a silent prayer up to anyone who’d listen that she was here because I wanted to bring her home.
After a few minutes I was losing hope. I agreed with Grimm—if she was here, there was no way he’d dug a deep hole. He would have dug a shallow grave and just tossed her in.
Just when I was giving up hope, Dagger stopped digging.
“I got hair,” he said.
Grimm looked at me and I took another breath.
“What color?” I asked.
“Black,” Dagger said, removing more dirt. “Jet-black and long.”
He removed more dirt, and something caught my eye. “What’s that? It looks like a necklace.”
Dagger dropped the shovel, then kneeled on the ground, and sifted through the soil with his bare hands. He grabbed the object then handed it to me.
“It’s her,” I said, squeezing the silver chain in my hand.
“You sure?” Grimm asked.
“The charm. It says Maggie.”
He let out a deep sigh, followed by a slow, solemn nod. “How do you want to do this?” Grimm asked.
“Could you give me a few minutes alone? Then we can move her.”
As he nodded, the sound of their footsteps faded away, leaving me alone with her. I kneeled beside her lifeless body, feeling the coldness of the earth seep through my jeans. Dagger had only uncovered pieces of her hair, and the sight made my stomach turn as I realized there would be nothing left of her but decaying clothes and bones.
“I’m so sorry, Ma.” With a sigh, I dropped my head, the weight of grief settling in my shoulders. “I wish I could have done something sooner. I thought you had made a new life for yourself. I didn’t know you were out here alone, or I would have come and found you sooner. But I’m here now. You won’t be alone anymore. He paid for what he did to you and for what he did to me. He can’t hurt me anymore. You’ve got a grandchild and daughter-in-law up there with you which I know you probably know by now. But keep your eyes on Siobhan for me. I could always use the extra help. I wasn’t doing good for a while, but I’ve met someone, and she’s made it easier. So, I’m good. Now you can rest easy. I love you and I’ll see you in the next life.”
As I stood, a sense of relief washed over me, and my shoulders seemed to carry less weight. The individuals responsible for the deaths of my wife, my son, and my mother were now dead. Finally, I could leave that chapter of my life in the past. Although I know I had shit to deal with back home, now I could prepare for what was to come. I think both Dani and my mother would be happy that I would be starting over now that I could let them go.