Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Merlin was waiting for his turn when Nox trudged back into the study.
He already felt like a heel and didn’t need another lecture to know he had messed up.
But Nox had been a shit and owed it to them to listen.
This one was going to be a doozy, judging from the serious glances Clancy and Merlin were trading from across the study.
“Could you give me a hand in the kitchen, lad?” Merlin asked sweetly and held up the tea pot.
Good cop, it is.
“Sure!” Nox cocked his head toward the kitchen and led the way.
Clancy and Merlin would never scold Nox in front of anyone, especially if he had made a serious mistake. Neither favored humiliation or fear as teaching aids and both believed that harder messages were best received in private.
“I already delivered part one of my apology to Nelson,” Nox said as he held the door for Merlin. “I plan to spend the rest of the day groveling after he gets back.”
“Good.” Merlin made a pleased sound as he went to the sink, reaching to give Scurry a pet. She had stretched out along the windowsill to take a nap in the sun. “You take his patience for granted.”
“I do,” Nox agreed readily and went to his stool at the work table.
It had been his since he was tall enough to climb onto it and he felt like a child again as he watched Merlin, rinsing the tea pot and measuring his words.
“I owe you and Clancy apologies too. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all last night.
I didn’t want to worry about it and I really didn’t want you all to worry if it could have waited until morning. ”
“Clancy and I are accustomed to your fuckery and we understand that we had a hand in creating this monster,” he said, smiling at Nox as he took the kettle to the stove. “We aren’t going anywhere. Neither is Nelson.”
“I know, but…” Nox groaned as he slouched.
“I’ve already put him through so much. You and Clancy have had ages to accept your fate but Nelson had to learn everything in a hurry.
And it’s so hard to find time to be a normal couple and just be together without Dùbhghlas and this grudge of his interfering. ”
Merlin sighed sympathetically from the stove.
“As much as I loathe to agree with a demon, it might be easier if you learn to embrace your godly nature. So many of your problems are rooted in your stubbornness. It’s always been this way with you, my boy.
You attach yourself to one notion and cling to it stubbornly, at all costs, even if a simpler solution becomes available. ”
“But I don’t want to be a god! What does that even involve these days?” Nox tried to envision it but temples, and togas, and sacrifices seemed so silly and like an utter waste of time and resources.
“No, I’m not telling you to become a god,” Merlin stated clearly and jumped when the kettle started to whistle. He laughed as he took it off and went to fill the pot. “Not completely, at least.”
“Can one decide how much of a god they want to be?” Nox mused out loud while they waited for the tea to steep. “I wouldn’t mind if my lower half was godly, if you know what I mean,” he said with a wiggle of his brows.
“You have enough fun with the lower half of your body,” Merlin replied.
“We are writing a new chapter of mythology here so there is no way of knowing for certain. But I sincerely believe that you would have less trouble if you didn’t fight so hard to hold onto something that isn’t there.
You are not a human anymore, Nox. You are a new hybrid of man and god and some days, you will be more god than man.
Stop fighting it and learn to control it. ”
“Control it?” Could he? Nox had spent so much time suppressing the strange urges and bursts of energy until he had to use them to defend himself or others. What if he didn’t and practiced—the way he had with fire and water? “What if I can’t and it consumes me?”
He could play with the elements and soothe someone’s aura, but to do big things that impacted real people scared the hell out of Nox. Creating storms, tampering with time, dictating thoughts, ending lives… That kind of power was seductive and Nox didn’t think that anyone should have it.
“Do you suppose that that is why you have your Uaithne1?” Merlin asked as he joined Nox at the work table.
“Obviously,” Nox said. “He’s always been my connection to the Otherworld and he keeps me anchored here, to this body.”
Merlin squinted, considering. “Do you believe that is all he is?”
“What do you mean?”
“He is your gateway to the Otherworld and he keeps your soul anchored to that body, but I think his soul balances yours as well. It’s so perfectly pure in its humanity and he defines humility and humbleness.
Gods are seldom virtuous or humble and you are certainly no exception, but you have been given a mate who embodies all the virtues you lack.
Do you think that is by accident, or the specific purpose of the Uaithne? ”
“Oh.” Nox sat up straight, surprised by how logical and obvious that was. “He’s my counterbalance. We’re opposites in nearly every way but we’ve always worked better together.”
“Harmoniously! Designed to complement each other, one might say…” Merlin looked pleased as he slid an empty cup and saucer towards Nox.
“That, unfortunately, means that I was meant to test him,” he sighed, getting a chuckle out of Merlin.
“I think he enjoys it. He also sees it as his duty to protect and serve you. Allow him to and allow yourself to simply be instead of fighting to hold onto something that doesn’t exist anymore.”
Nox grimaced at the pot. “I’ll try but I hate that he sees it as his duty. I wish he’d chosen this and it wasn’t because of fate or destiny.”
“Nonsense!” Merlin swatted the back of Nox’s hand, making him gasp.
“Of your three, the Uaithne has always had the most free will. He must and it must align with his role or it would make him…unfit to be an Uaithne. That’s why we went so long without one.
The Uaithne cannot resent his duty or desire anything more than service or he is not suitable for the role. It must be his will to serve you.”
“Maybe… Does that mean he’s happy, though?”
Merlin cast him a pointed look. “I believe you would know how happy he is better than anyone.”
“Sure, I can feel when Nelson’s happy and he usually is, except for when I’m tap dancing on his nerves. But is he happy in the general, overall sense? Is he happy that this is his life? Can he ever truly be happy if it’s his duty?”
A severe frown furrowed Merlin’s brow. “Serving your family has been my sacred duty for longer than I will admit and it has been the greatest pleasure of my life. Even when you are being an absolute pill. My service has given me joy and a higher sense of purpose, and for that, I have been grateful. I would never want to deprive Nelson of that much happiness, would you?”
Nox sniffed hard, shaking his head. His nose was running and his eyes were stinging. “No, I wouldn’t but why did you have to make me cry?”
“Clancy feels the same way but he’s had to make personal sacrifices. He gave up time with his family out of his sense of duty. Thankfully, you and Nelson don’t have to worry about that.”
“No, we’ve got it made,” Nox realized, then cleared his throat. “You could too. I’m not a kid anymore and I would understand if you wanted to spend more time with Jeff.”
“More time with Jeff?” Merlin recoiled. “I come here to get away from Jeff. He may be beautiful to look at and hung like a horse but his head is completely hollow. I swear, I’ve never heard anyone talk so much without saying a single sensible thing.
He never shuts up and follows me around like a puppy dog. ”
“I’m sorry. I’m sure there’s someone perfect for you out there,” Nox said but Merlin scoffed.
“What are you talking about? Jeff is perfect for me. He keeps my home immaculate, he drives me wherever I want, and he lets me ride him like a jockey four times a day. I don’t need him for companionship, I have you and Clancy for that.”
Nox refused to cry again. “I guess that makes sense. You are very small and he’s as big as a horse.”
They both laughed as Nox poured his tea, but his smile faded and he shuddered as the hairs on his arms and neck stood. Panic and rage exploded in his core, making him dizzy and causing him to sway as tea splashed onto his hand.
“Nox? Are you alri—?” Merlin started but Nox dropped the pot. It cracked and spilled as everything tilted around him.
“No!” Nox slid off the stool but grabbed the work table when his legs gave out, shaking with terror. He looked around for anything that might explain the hot rush of fear and anger and immediately knew. “It’s Nelson! He’s in trouble and he’s hurt!”
The color drained from Merlin. “Dear gods,” he whispered, then turned. “Darrach! Darrach, come at once!” he called and reached for Nox. “Sit back down,” he said as he helped Nox onto his stool.
Clancy burst through the kitchen door. “What’s wrong?” he demanded but rushed to Nox. “What’s happened? You look like you’re going to be sick.”
“Something’s happened to Nelson,” Merlin informed him, his voice trembling.
“How can you tell?” Clancy asked Nox.
He shook his head, desperately searching through the waves of dread and fury for anything that might tell them what was going on, where Nelson was, or who he was fighting with.
But all Nox could sense was that Nelson was hurting and whoever it was was taking him.
He was fighting like hell to get away and was afraid for Nox but that was all Nelson was transmitting.
“We have to go! He needs us!” Nox said and was immediately shushed by Merlin.
“This is most likely a trap and the very last thing Nelson would want is for you to fall into it,” he said slowly and calmly before giving Clancy a pointed look.
“Good thinking,” Clancy said and was already backing towards the door. “I’ll follow Nelson’s route to the bookstore and report back.”
“Take one of the twins with you,” Nox ordered and received a tight nod from Clancy before he dashed out of the kitchen.
“The bookstore!” Merlin gasped. “I’ll call Howard! He may be in trouble too, or he may be able to get to Nelson if he’s close by.”
Nox felt another rush of dread at the thought of Howard being hurt as well. Someone should have been with him. “Do that!” Nox said, taking out his phone and sending an alert to the group chat. “We have to get everyone back here as soon as possible. I can’t risk losing anyone else.”
“We don’t know that Nelson is—” Merlin started, holding his bejeweled phone to his ear, but Nox cut him off.
“He’s gone, Merlin. I know what I felt and I can’t feel him anymore.” He was already steadier so he eased off the stool and calmly left the kitchen, turning and stepping out onto the terrace. The sun did its best to comfort him but Nox was cold as he lowered onto the steps.
Merlin appeared a few minutes later and there were tears in his eyes as he sat next to Nox. “Heidi found the Continental and his keys were near it but there’s no sign of Nelson. He would never leave his car like that.” His voice crumbled as he put his arm around Nox. “You were right.”
“We have to get everyone else here and make sure Tony and Ronan are okay.”
“Everyone else is accounted for and on their way. Tony’s already checked in and they’re on high alert on Pooles.”
Nox nodded. “Good. I’m glad. It’s bad enough losing Nelson.”
“We’ll get him back,” Merlin vowed. “Soon, Smoak will know where Dùbhghlas is hiding, if he hasn’t figured it out already.”
“Let’s hope he does,” Nox said as he stood and headed back inside to brief the others when they arrived. “It won’t be good for anyone if anything happens to Nelson.”