Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Iwas afraid I would never see you again,” Nelson whispered and kissed his fingertips before placing his hand on the hood of his car. He closed his eyes to hold back the tears of gratitude but they spilled down his cheeks.
“Clancy kept an eye on your baby for you and Merlin put a protective charm on it so no one would scratch or ding it while you were away,” Nox said, making Nelson grin.
“I wasn’t worried. I knew it was in good hands.”
Nelson ducked and squinted at the odometer, then allowed Nox to lead him into the townhouse. He had slept for most of the drive back from Coudersport and was still exhausted but he couldn’t truly rest and begin to heal until he checked on the Continental.
“Thanks, Clancy,” Nelson said and allowed the older man to help him upstairs and into the bathroom.
“I’ll take it from here,” Nox said. His eyes shimmered and there was a catch in his voice when he told Clancy goodnight and closed the door behind him.
He reached for Nelson’s collar, his breath and his hands shaking as he finally let go and began to cry in earnest. “I love you so much and I’m so, so sorry for everything! ”
“Shhh!” Nelson pressed a kiss to Nox’s lips and forgot about what he was going to say until he felt tears rolling down his chin and realized they weren’t his. “I’m fine and you have nothing to be sorry for! It was hell but it’s over now.”
Nox shook his head and sniffed hard as he stepped back, then swore as he ripped what was left of Nelson’s shirt off.
“This is all getting burned.” The shirt, and then Nelson’s trousers, boxers, socks and shoes were tossed into a pile by the door and Nelson was guided into the shower.
“You thought you didn’t matter and I didn’t trust you when you left.
I’ve never been so sorry about anything in my life. ”
“Stop! I had put those ideas in my head myself, way before that morning. I was scared and I felt helpless and I ran away, right into a trap. I should have stayed or listened to you and taken Bryn or Arawn.”
“You wouldn’t have been so scared or felt so helpless if I hadn’t blindsided you again. I’ve learned my lesson, Nelson. I promise.”
“It’s okay, Nox. I forgive you.”
Instead of using the ladle, Nox used a natural sponge to drip moonwater all over Nelson’s head, face, and skin.
He gently mopped away the filth and rinsed Nelson’s wounds, then used his hands to apply warm eucalyptus oil before Nelson was bathed in a frankincense and sandalwood body wash.
Candles and incense were burning when Nelson was led from the bathroom and to the bed.
He groaned ecstatically as he sank back, into his pillow and reveled in the serene warmth and joy.
“Everything is right now,” he sighed and smiled as he watched Nox performing his nightly ritual. Tonight, there were extra prayers and spells to chant and Nox burned myrrh resin and cinnamon, wafting the smoke over Nelson’s body and around the bed.
“Not yet, but soon.” Nox pinched the flame out of each candle before lifting the quilt and sliding into bed with Nelson.
They came together easily, their limbs winding around and into their proper places and Nox settled his head on Nelson’s chest. His hair was kissed as Nelson’s arms tightened around Nox and they were complete. “Now, everything is right.”
“Mmmhmm.”
“I mean it, Nelson.” Nox rubbed his cheek against Nelson’s skin and breathed him in.
“I can’t be me without you. I don’t want to be me without you ever again.
Merlin and Clancy might have helped raise me, but you’ve been by my side every step of the way since New Castle and you’re the only one who’s seen what I’ve seen.
You’re part of me now and losing you was like losing one of my senses. ”
“It felt like that for me too, but you were still with me, even if I couldn’t hear or feel you. It took me a little while to realize it and I spent the first day blaming myself and feeling like a cosmic mistake.”
“No! How can you say that?” Nox protested and started to sit up but Nelson shushed and held him tightly. “You were made just for me and you’re perfect.”
“I know. I had a lot of revelations while I was alone under that hood. One of them was that I was destined to do this, and I am the way I am because this is the Uaithne you need. I’m not your gateway or your anchor anymore, I’m the counterbalance you need to be the good god and not some dangerous, all-powerful maniac. ”
Nox gasped and beamed up at Nelson. “That’s exactly it!
I felt so off kilter and there were moments where I felt unhinged and frightened myself.
I think I would have given in, if I wasn’t so afraid of letting you down.
You were in my head at those terrible moments, telling me to be the good god. Your god.”
“My god.” Nelson chuckled as he kissed Nox’s hair. “I knew Dùbhghlas and Hildr couldn’t touch my soul or truly hurt me because I’m your man. That’s what protected me.”
“My man! My man, my man…” Nox purred, nuzzling contentedly. “Wait. What happened to Hildr? I wouldn’t say I was looking forward to meeting her but I was hoping I’d get to see Ingrid take her down and she wasn’t even there. Do you think she knew we were coming and ran?”
Nelson shook his head, smiling. “I don’t think she had any clue. She died before you showed up.”
“Died?” Nox whispered, his eyes huge. “Did you get to see how it happened?”
“I did… I taunted her until she took off the hood and we were face-to-face when I killed her.”
This time, Nelson didn’t stop Nox when he scrambled back and onto his knees. “You—” He started but gave his head a confused shake. “You killed Hildr?”
“I was surprised too.”
Nox laughed incredulously. “How?” he asked loudly, then ducked and covered his mouth when Nelson tapped his lips. “How did you do it?” Nox whispered.
“I’m not really sure…” Nelson tried to remember exactly what had happened but it had been a loud, bright blur.
“I wasn’t alone in here when it happened.
” He tapped his forehead and wrinkled his nose as he searched for a way to describe how distant he felt from what was going on and how present Nox was in that moment.
“You were with me, but it was…the big you and you were in control.”
Somehow, Nox’s eyes grew even wider. “And then what did you/we do?”
“We fried her from the inside out,” Nelson whispered back. “Most of her face melted off but I bashed-in what was left and stabbed her a few dozen times with a chair leg. I had to make sure she was dead dead and not just a little bit dead like Dùbhghlas was.”
“Wow…!” Nox laughed in disbelief. “I am going to maul you as soon as all of this is healed but I cannot wait to tell Merlin and Clancy about how you smoked Hildr.”
“She was definitely smoking. I got my ass trampled after that, though. Dùbhghlas was pissed off at me and let me have it.”
“Probably because you killed his missus,” Nox said with a hard grimace.
“What?” Nelson’s brain started to do the math but he recoiled. “No! I don’t want to know.”
“That’s for the best. But this is an exciting development! You’re healing quickly and should be back on your feet in no time and you're developing some of my powers. You have magick too!”
“The quick-healing thing is nice and I want to have as much time with you as I can get away with. I just don’t want any of the other stuff.”
“I’m afraid there isn’t much we can do about that,” Nox said with feigned heaviness. “Unless we want to move to opposite sides of the globe and let nature take its course with you.”
“Hmm…” Nelson pretended to consider before shaking his head. “I don’t plan to be in a different zip code ever again so I’m going to have to learn to accept it.”
“Look at how easy that was for you!” Nox said as he pointed at Nelson. “I had an existential crisis and planned to hide in the bathroom. I’ve had to make this whole losing-my-humanity business as complex and painful as possible, but you just…accepted it.”
Nelson stifled a yawn as he shrugged. “The alternative is unacceptable and making it everyone else’s problem isn’t going to change the outcome. I might as well accept it and make the best of it.”
“Is that…how you feel about us?” Nox asked quietly. “Am I a duty you’ve accepted and is this you, making the best of something awful?”
“It might be,” Nelson conceded. “If falling in love with you wasn’t the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I did damn near everything out of duty but I was alone and miserable until I walked into your fire symbology lecture.”
“I love that lecture!” Nox’s voice wavered as he stretched toward Nelson’s lips and kissed him. “And I love you, more than anything in the universe and on either side of the veil.”
“That’s pretty serious,” Nelson noted. “I love you too and there’s nothing else I’d rather do and no place I’d rather be than with you.”